Testimonies

With nothing to prove, I have all the more that I want to say.

[geeuho]

"When a cell is infected with a virus it secretes interferon which warns nearby cells to produce antiviral substances."

- BILD 2 lecture In the moment of a cell's death it is programmed to work for the benefit of others. Creation... God... incredible. Love is literally written onto our DNA. Ok I'm done procrastinating, lol. 

[geeuho]

And another one. You're welcome. 

[geeuho]

Oliver Nelson... where have you been all my life. <3.<3  

[geeuho]

Another one.

[geeuho]

Hunched over the phone kakaotalk drifting in an out with lyrics on two crumpled pieces of paper. Me shivering in the 8:36 AM cold weather without a moment of sleep in the past 24 hours, caffeine from the BK vanilla ice coffee still rushing through my veins. Too many thoughts rushing through my head, nervous. Standing on the 3rd floor of the EBU building with people at the bottom floor looking up at me like a crazy person. The sun creeping over the horizon and the San Diego hills. The resonance of my voice. The meaning in the lyrics. "The Best Thing" by Relient K. Your tears. And that one other person on the floor giving me a glance of applause as I shout on my way to class.  In that moment, everything was perfect, and I want to remember it forever. 

My Arabic, British accented, dorky other half, Rania. <3

[geeuho]

Right now might be my favorite moment in my entire life post 24 hour of sleeplessness, considering most of them absolutely sucked.

Still this one's pretty good. 

[geeuho]

Istanbul

I miss you. City of dreams and endless possibilities The moment I stepped onto your welcoming front step I felt a warmth that I couldn't understand You exist a city between two opposing cultures Between the Middle East and Europe I would imagine it to be a burden unbearable But as a gateway you stand tall and beautiful In your very architecture the zest of unity And in the culture a squeeze of warmth Your food was better than I've ever tasted Your people all too kind You are to me a symbol of  a brighter future with no division Or biases Or judgment Or shame I used to sing that I left my heart in San Francisco With its unique art and people But I finally found that in its differences It was just like every other city As I started and ended last year with you I feel as if you've changed me To love in greater ways  To think higher thoughts To make better choices The lessons I learned in those three weeks I will never forget as long as I live Right now I can only think of you

[djaeyun]

[geeuho]

The kingdom of God

Jesus when he talked about his ministry always used the words Kingdom of God. And he talked about all sorts of analogies in order to describe what this kingdom looks like. Interestingly enough no one talks like this anymore. "May your Kingdom come and your will be done" and I think it is largely because we are a little confused as to what this is. We find ourselves asking what His will is in prayer. As for the prayer, well, it's just something nice we say at the end of service. That's why we always talk about what we aren't supposed to do, like it isn't supposed to be a program, a building, an event, but then what is it supposed to be? I am no biblical scholar, but it does not take long for me to understand that the Kingdom of God is a place where God reigns. Where His original design of this world is restored and He is king. But when we look at the Bible it is really strange the way He decides to do this. First he gives weak and foolish people authority and then brings the kingdom through them, as he crowns them as fellow heirs. But one other interesting thing is when he talks about the church in the Bible, Jesus mentions after Peter's confession that Jesus is God that He is the rock upon which he uses the church. In Christianity, our salvation is from the confession of the lips which demonstrate our faith.  God wants to be glorified and worshipped... through people. Everywhere. All the time. (God is good). From the beginning of time, God created man and commanded Him to multiply so that the face of Earth might be covered with God's image and glory. And now, the hope of the world is God's church, a group of rag tag, not so special, believers who make up a body of worshippers believing with the small mustard seed of faith in the POWER of God. The power that is able to create something out of nothing, shine as true light in infinite darkness, and most importantly love fully a broken sinner. The fear that is ignorant to this power is a lie, but it tempts the believer daily to give in and not move and live in the God of all freedom.  But I am now convinced that God is living in me, because who He is and that His kingdom will come through me. And recently, this has been the one greatest fact that has been consuming my mind. How will God use little weak fearful me? How grand will this kingdom seem in comparison to the world's solution of do it yourself and succeed? But knowing that this kingdom of God is what is ahead of me, I've been coming to know a peace that is beyond logic and understanding. That in the midst of pain and suffering, my hope is elsewhere. That in meaninglessness of this dust particle's life, the vision of God still stands for all nations to be restored to the gospel, and for the promise to be brought back to life with Christ.  As think about the start of this next school year, and the end of my time in Israel, these are the thoughts that fil my head. Maranatha. Come soon Jesus. 

[cameile]

[honestfictionist]

Great soundtrack. 

[geeuho]

I feel like I'm supposed to write a long well thought out post to reflect on the past year and my future plans, but really it just sucks being back. I mean food's good and things are much cleaner but nothing can replace the lifestyle that I was living there. By no means was I living perfectly or was it easy, but I was so alive. I wasn't told what was best for me and as a result I made so many mistakes and found out how I could not even trust my own self to do good. I had to depend on God in the midst of all that chaos. But now I've got financial aid letters to write, and apartments to find, and a trip to San Diego before MCamp gets started. Things that I have to do. Also, I'm admittedly finding it difficult to shake this temptation of comfort that I'm trying to convince myself I deserve, but maybe the reason why these last 4 days have been so crappy is because I've been unable to break the lie that "it's over now". In Israel, I've realized it was not about the place but always about the mindset and the calling of going 'out there' where things aren't so tidy so that God's Kingdom that is in you may be brought to that place. I guess I just don't know where to start here. Or maybe I'm just giving fear room again. Whatever it is, it's killing me. In other news, my future plans are to go to dental school in Israel after my undergrad, but that's still a far off dream. Need to concern myself with today's worries because there are many. God help me see them.

[geeuho]

what are your thoughts on same-sex marriage?

This is always considered an extremely controversial question to answer because one side is seen as increasing the boundaries of human choice while the other is seen as trying to limit it. The issue is not so simple. When I and many other “religious people" say that gay marriage is unacceptable, it is easy to see people who hold this view as dictators of the human will, demonizing their desire to limit the choice that another equally intelligent human being thinks is acceptable. However, this is clearly not a view that is well understood. In a post modern society, we believe in multiple individual opinions that really have no power but to cancel each other out because we don’t believe in truth. However, if any valid opinion is to not lose its power, we have to remember all opinions are also limitations on what we should believe, and all plans of action likewise limitations on what plans should be carried out. Just like the opinion to accept gay marriage is a limitation on opinions that restrict gay marriage. Limitations are not necessarily bad and rather life saving in many situations.But to completely answer the question, what I’ve come to understand is that the law given to Moses and to the Israelite people was as a guardian as it says in Galatians 3. My ultimate standpoint when it comes to the law of Moses is that no one can fulfill it and escape the death of disobeying the law and ultimate salvation without Christ, but the intention in things like the Kosher law for example was for the health of the Israelites. Likewise I believe that gay people are sinners like me and are still loved by God through the cross, but in the sin have forsaken God’s good plan for them. I believe that the relationship between a man and a woman is beautiful, because it is exclusively the relationship that is life producing and God pretty much likes babies. He said multiply and conquer the earth. This is going to sound pretty ridiculous, but out of all this garble, my ultimate answer to your question isn’t a condemnation or even an acceptance of a view, it’s the statement: I, like God, also like babies.

[extensive]

But I’ve got high hopes, it takes me back to when we started High hopes, when you let it go, go out and start again High hopes, ooohhh when it all comes to an end But the world keeps spinning around

Kodaline – High Hopes

[geeuho]

Where do I go from here?

As I was talking to Robby over dinner the other night, I asked him what lesson he had learned he said something that I've heard many times before from people that also took a year off: "This lifestyle is not romantic and I am a sinner". At first glance it didn't really seem like he was proposing a solution at all. He was really just stating the problem. My time here in Israel is coming to a close, and usually at the end of a school year, I have a general feeling of resolve, sifting through my regrets so that I can make a plan for a brighter future. My problem solving mind comes up with some philosophical calculation so that we can go ahead. Like Robby, it seemed like this year I couldn't say anything wise or clever to close off this year. One of my biggest fears is rejection, because it's something you can't just calculate a solution out of. Playing it cool is the best option, but all it is, is not caring about the problem. As many people that I have met I have been rejected concerning the message of God. At first I was extremely scared of meeting people for this reason, but as I got over it, I simply saw more and more that the problem was still there. There will be people that reject you and what you stand for for any reason. Many times this year I had doubts in God for the first time in a long time, because as much as it seemed I was doing his work, it really didn't matter if I prayed a lot, or did something with skill. It just didn't seem like He was there. Ironically though, my favorite moments of the trip were those very moments where I got rejected, even threatened or laughed at. Not only because it says in the Bible that being persecuted was a blessing in the Kingdom, but because I learned in those moments what it felt like to be unstoppable. There was my greatest fear manifesting itself everywhere around me and it couldn't stop me from my purpose and calling. That as a fisher of man, it really didn't matter how the fish responded, I was still sitting on top of the boat, saved, and being carried by grace. Also, God's promise for the salvation of this nation still stood. The work still remains uncompleted. The message just remains rejected. So where do I go from here? I know in part, the answer is back here. Back to Jerusalem. But the other half really remains unanswered for me. Should I continue studying physics? What do I do after college? But whether it be for my own life or this nation's fate I know it is the promise of God that will carry me home.

[geeuho]

Some of the things on your blog are just so compelling and accurately describe the heart of the Father. It is such a blessing and encouragement! I really want to hear more about your sm trip and how your life has changed in the state's since. How did you know it was the right time to go and what are some things you would tell someone who's planning on becoming an sm in the future?

Hey anon!Firstly, thanks for the encouraging words! I really just write what I receive. I hope to share with you face to face if you ask me again in person. But what a broad question you ask! I even felt in the first month of my trip that many paradigms I held before were being broken. But out of the many things I learned and change that has taken place, this is all overshadowed by a sort of ultimate lesson I learned, which is that the answers to life are really simple and that the change that takes place are in light of the person of Jesus. I used to take myself too seriously about my theological and philosophical leanings, but when it comes to actually doing good works, nothing but the power and message of Jesus actually count for producing any fruit. I think it's made my life a whole lot simpler and there are still many problems, but my head is much clearer. By the way, I'm not sure if you know this, but I am still in Israel and not in the states. As for how my trip has been so far, I've had a lot of troubles and hardships: doubts, difficulty in getting the message across, issues with teammates, getting robbed, and other more emotional things. In other words it's been straight up wilderness, but I think we all need this to see rightly, past the mundane life we're 'supposed' to be living.God told me 2 years ago that this was the right time so I kept my promise. That's it.I would tell someone who's planning to do that in the future to also do that now. There's this thing I'm doing called Daily Life Plan and admittedly I haven't followed through all the days, but we do this because nothing is ever done by planning on doing it, but when someone does it. Everyday is an opportunity to live (some people only exist) for the Kingdom. Realize your freedom by going to the Word and learning the truth of Christ for yourself, and listen/do what the H.S. convicts you to do you. And yes there are always days where you feel like giving up, but remember that feelings are lies. The only thing that stands is the simple truth. But besides all that I'm very happy to know that you want to serve! Have a good day.

[geeuho]

Arabic, Jewish, American, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, African

Representatives for the first Israel VS ever. How cool is that? 

[geeuho]

Some cheap words.

My words are so deceiving. Even as I try to write down my thoughts, my mind moves on from this thought to the next. The words that show these thoughts are not the words that would express my next thoughts, soon to come. In pursuing any sort of genuine interaction (which we are called to by God), I see feelings and even my logic as inadequate building blocks by far. The powerful and solid foundation is God's Word. It is now obvious to me that everything that tries to be a love without drawing from Him is a lust. Broken and cold hearted from every past disconnection, you wade in a pool of your own failures, letting altruism and kind words become a tool to eventually receive one back somewhere else. A life that's build on this system is on sand and lying words. I'm learning to see the solid foundation, which is obeying His commands, but I no longer want to sell a false message before I learn to actually build on it. I really want to let you in and not speak cheap words like I did in the past. I want to be able to feel the real and heavy burdens of life so that through His power I may alleviate them. In this current contract I have with God (and I've already broken it, lol) I want to see my individual life be so enveloped in His message so before I give out a needy call for recognition, I may stop and consider the great purpose He has for my life to love and be loved fully.