«Knowing you has changed me. Because you care, I cared. [...] I cared about the whole world because of you», or an endless speech about what makes me love Dean and Cas's story everyday more ❤
You know, I was reading Cas's confession to Dean in 15x18 again, just the speech, and I'm still amazed by how intense, poetic and insanely deep it is.
In just three minutes it shows us how unconditional are Cas's love and devotion for Dean, how much attention and time he spent observing him, listening to him, looking directly into his soul. He never left his side, he never doubted him, not for a second, even and especially in his worse moments. He's the only one who truly, truly, never abandoned him in his whole life, no matter what, no question asked.
People tend to forget it, because Cas is not usually loud, he doesn't yell or gets angry every time Dean does or says something.. well, typical of Dean.
He doesn't force Dean to hear something he doesn't want to hear unless it's really necessary. He's always so careful with him, almost tender, a word of support where it's needed, a hand on the shoulder, a look across the room. He takes care of him in thousands of different ways: a friend when he's needed, a warrior where there's a fight to be won.
But every time he speaks, he sucks the breath out of us, because his words are always so accurate, because he just knows exactly how Dean is feeling, why he's acting that way, where all the anger, fear and guilt come from. He always knows how to reach him.
So yeah, people who don't watch closely forget that this angel gave up on everything he believed was true the moment he put a hand on Dean in Hell. Forget how Cas literally built his body and soul from scratch, how he looked into every corner of Dean's mind, how he knows every thoughts, every dream, every secret, how he literally touched all the trauma, the regret and the love hidden behind the surface.
And then Cas says something like: «Dean feels things more acutely than any other human I've ever known», and «I'm not exactly a role model»/«That's NOT true», and «You're THE MOST selfless, loving, caring human being I'll ever know», like it's nothing, like it's obvious, and you just know. How Cas really gets Dean, really sees him, understands him intimately. Ten thousand times better than anyone else has ever done.
His devotion is absolute, his love isn't something suddenly born, isn't just a spark or mere fascination.
His love is as deep as Dean's soul is. It's divine, it's eternal, it's unbreakable. And man, did people try to break it.
Neither of them could exist without this kind of love. This love is what has driven them and the story for all these years, it's craved into their existence, it's part of the world.
Even more, it's the only thing that's real in this world. The only thing Chuck couldn't control.
It's inevitable, just something that is, and nothing could ever change that. Not Death, not God, not the Empty, not the horrible ending they got.
And isn't that beautiful? Isn't that perfect? After all this time, and after all the disappointment of the last weeks, thinking about this really gave me that kind of hope and contentment I was looking and hoping for. And no matter what, this is something I can take with me forever, this is something that will always be true and pure and real.
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