i fucks heavy with satan

19.NYU

[commodorecliche]

haha um

[levourdalak]

[skyybridge]

[lsseymiyake]

“Listening to the signs”

[ahotknife]

so far being in my 20s is like *hyperfixates* *oversleeps* *mourns my lost youth* *hyperfixates* *oversleeps* *oversleeps* *drinks too much on a thursday* *oversleeps*

[corporation-cats]

[jurynullification]

its like. thats his truck and hes ordering from a drive through at 12am

[tulpa2-deactivated20191122]

chicken samwich and scratch my butt please.

[memesandlaughs]

[yrfriendliz]

http://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-LB-51793 This is honest to god one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. The idea of giving a baby a theme party based on a local personal injury attorney is something i am so jealous of I dont know how to properly put it into words. Also the fact that the lawyer didn’t come to the party somehow makes it even funnier.

[tinseltownturkey-deactivated202]

this is the kind of content i came here for

[loving-women-is-rad]

he didnt come to the party because he sees the baby as a future opponent

[garudagay]

This is literally the funniest tweet ive ever read in my life

[bimboid]

this image can only be shared on Thursday, Sept. 12

[ostolero]

it’s about time I contributed to the online discourse

bricks are domesticated rocks

[chaoticnasty]

Stop

[hellsite-yano]

Let them speak

[corvid-420]

Californians: In-N-Out is better

New Yorkers: Shake Shack is better

Some Texan rat next to the deep fryer at Whataburger:

[corvid-420]

What are you going to do, jump?

[chaoticbisexualalien-deactivate]

nooo don’t express serious emotions you’ve been designated “the funny one” aha

[chaoticbisexualalien-deactivate]

nooo don’t exist in a way that contradicts the one-dimensional version of you I’ve created in my head you’re so convenient aha

[zz7n0104]

When kourtney Kardashian said “we all have like different priorities and like working is just not my priority and like it is never going to be”

[adobekillustrator-deactivated20]

[me, attempting to communicate with the dead] “hey u up lol”

[ouija board spells out “READ AT 11:57 PM"]

[youlovetoseeit]

it is a shitty situation

[thebootydiaries]

ᴼᵏ

[coolfriendlygay-deactivated2018]

a second chance