not so straight

all prounouns / aftg / gaaaaaay / great big burning pile of trash

[bodyand-laurent]

Jeremy, soon after starting dating Jean

Neil, who has been dating Andrew for a while

[melancholythot-deactivated20240]

Long time no see folks, here’s some new aftg content by moi

I srsly need to start posting regularly but oh well

[neil-jortsen]

neil: i’ll be fine

the foxes: no you won’t! you’ve been stabbed!

neil: i’ve been stabbed before

andrew, fucking tired: you don’t build an immunity to stab wounds neil

[justrandomstuf]

Aaron [stressed out for exams, on his sixth coffee, can taste colors]: Andrew oh no oh my god my hand is shaking

Andrew [hasn’t studied in literal years, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, on his way to get day drunk]: Guess your skeleton is ready to hatch! 

Aaron [panicking]: W-WHAT

[thespineoftherighteous]

David 'dad' Wymack things

"how did you get into my house?" (said in varying levels of pitch, at various times of the night)

"why did you get into my house?"

"yes you can spend the night" or alternatively : "please, make yourself at home" said sarcastically after child has already made themselves at home

not paying attention to the foxes conversation until he realizes that he was just used as an example of bad fashion choices by the team for Neil ("what's wrong with this shirt?" "er-nothing coach. it's just...not Neil's style")

having a record player in his office and getting made fun of for his music taste

"the kids"

"coach do you like my new haircut?" "hm?" "my hair?" "what about it?" "it's new" *stares hard* "yeah...yeah it's very pretty"

being caught off guard in the midst of a speech by one of their comments that was actually funny and breaking character

on that note- finding out that it's something of a game between them to get him to break whenever they can

"for the last time guys, no we cannot change the team color. yes i asked, multiple times, yes i know it messes with your 'aesthetic', it does mine too, no there's no one else I can talk to"

*stumbles through three other names before he gets the person he's actually trying to talk to*

"coach we brought you those chocolates you like" "really? i- no we're not cancelling practice today, nice try. go get ready. leave the chocolate"

*examines kid closely* "are you high?" "no coach" "your eyes are bloodshot" "yes coach" "...why are they bloodshot?" "long story short, it's exams season and i haven't slept in nearly sixty hours" "minYARD-"

hearing one of the kids casually mention something that happened to them when they were younger or catching a glimpse of scars he had forgotten about and remembering just who they are and what they've gone through and getting angry all over again

*furrows brows*

dressing up for sports banquet and getting "coach? is that really you?" from the boys and "aww coach you look so nice" from Dan and Renee and *stands up, walks over to him, straightens his tie, brushes off his shoulders, wipes away a pretend tear, fake whispers an "I'm so proud"* from Allison. every single time

"[FIRSTNAME MIDDLENAME LASTNAME]

holding his breath every time one of the kids doesn't get up right away after getting knocked down on court

worrying about them 25/7 but keeping his distance because he never wants to overstep (and asking Abby or bee to make sure one of them is okay instead, if he feels like something is wrong)

"DO I NEED TO SEPARATE YOU TWO?"

recognizing more pop culture references than he'd ever think himself able to, thanks to one Nicky Hemmick

"coach when you were younger did you have..." "how fucking old do you think i am?"

but still uses "back in my day" stories and just gets blank looks and polite nods back

*to himself while the monsters are arguing furiously* "i thought they spoke Spanish..."

"hey coach so i was wondering-" "get your ass back on court"

also literally just "get your ass" for everything: "get your asses showered and on the bus in half an hour" "get your ass out of my office" "stop bleeding all over me and get your ass to abby now"

getting offended by the increasingly transparent attempts at bribery

so. goddamn. many. #1 dad/coach gag gifts (he keeps them all)

"above my pay grade above my pay grade above my pay grade above my pay grade above my-"

additionally: *sees some kind of conflict* *turns around quickly* "not my problem not my problem not my problem not my problem not- oh fucking hell"

visibly thawing whenever he sees the kids bonding or having each others backs at banquets or getting over something or just showing any signs of healing

pacing in front of Abbyy for half an hour while ranting either about the kids or for the kids or on their behalf

"hey you, YOU. come here. how do I take a...a screenshot on this thing?"

replaying "that is enough" and every moment like it that came after in his head

pretending to have a frozen heart but tearing up out of pride on so many occasions: every graduation, giving Neil a side-hug and realizing after how far he came, seeing Neil and Kevin's faces the first time they have a proper holiday, watching Kevin walk out with his queen tattoo for the first time, seeing all the foxes packed together in the lounge freshly showered and exhausted but quietly brimming with happiness and pride after winning at the end of tkm, etc, etc, etc. and, whenever he gets caught: "aw coach you do care, you're a sap" *aggressively wipes face* "shut your bitch ass up, you terror"

*gruff voice* I'm proud of you, kid

*choked up* thanks Coach

[professionalfangirl24601]

How cute is that Neil keeps everything important under his pillow?

[two-wizards-in-a-trench-coat]

i just think they’re funny your honor

from this post by @kevindavidday

[anonknown-deactivated20230720]

Be gay do crime folks

[feluart]

✨ rooftop date ✨

ko-fi | redbubble | instagram

[fleshmotif]

When you just want to cuddle but u have to get up and play the stupid sports game bc the mafia or whatever🙄

[the-edge-of-sleep]

this collection is titled: “I Was Unaware The King’s Men Was a Comedy”

[the-chicken-or-the-banana]

as a former soccer goalie, here are some very specific things andrew minyard does while playing exy

he has crazy good aim. that cone drill kevin and neil keep doing? andrew's an icon at that

he's gotta hit the balls directly at the strikers (or whoever else needs the ball) from a static position so his aim is probably better and stronger than most people on the team

andrew's literally shit at cardio. man literally doesn't run aside from normal conditioning (and chasing after neil) plus he smokes so his lungs do be constantly dying

also, i feel like people really underestimate how boring being in goal can be

like if the ball's not near you, there is nothing. to. do.

honestly, he probably just puts his racquet down or straight up sits on the floor when the action is on the other end of the court

(this is coming from someone who literally left the field for a few minutes because she had nothing to do)

another thing: the man can jump.

like, put him on a trampoline (not that he'd ever do that lol) and he'll fly above everyone else, no matter his fear of heights

especially because he's so short compared to the goal, he's gotta stretch in every direction to be able to reach the ball

he's mad flexible, is what i'm getting at

penalty shots are his worst enemy

idc how good of a goalie he usually is, most of the catches/blocks he makes are pure luck

and like. his height doesn't help with this at all

most of the sweating he does comes from his extra armor rather than the game itself

again. goalies literally don't move most of the time. for the longest time, nicky just thinks that andrew has some kind of magic deodorant he isn't sharing with the rest of them

(there have been more than a few raids into andrew's toiletries looking for it)

i literally used to get those misty fan water bottle things bc everyone else had one and it looked cool, not because i was ever tired after games lol

he likes interlocking his fingers to see how obtrusive the goalie gloves are

idk it's a thing that all goalies i know do, for absolutely no reason. it do be fun though

goalies have to do a lot of agility and reflexive drills. one of these is kinda like quickly running in place and jumping/rolling to the side to catch a ball someone throws at you

i'm just imagining andrew doing this bc it looks so. funny.

like the person doing the drill looks like some spider on drugs with how fast their feet are moving

(also it makes lots of goalies pretty good at dancing/stuff that requires lots of feet coordination. i'm not saying... but i'm kinda saying, if you get what i mean)

this isn't during exy, but sometimes catching things is so reflexive

once i caught a glass full of water before it shattered on a restaurant floor, and i imagine andrew does shit like that too

but the difference is that he gets so annoyed whenever it happens

being unintentionally helpful is andrew's least favorite thing (but neil finds it so goddamn funny)

sometimes neil randomly drops things near andrew just to watch him get annoyed at his reflexes

(also, i'm just imagining the foxes randomly throwing things at andrew. he's stuck between two situations: catch things and have the foxes laugh at him or let things hit him in the face and have the foxes laugh at him)

[neilmfjosten-deactivated2026053]

Andrew: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world. Thanks for the sacrifice Aaron

Aaron: WE HAVE THE SAME FUCKING FACE

[lemonboyjosten]

ok so andrew minyard prefers the role of goalkeeper purely because he despises running and that he claims to hate it with a passion right? right. and then..and then this tiny man just sprints across the court to get to neil in time to stop riko from using his exy stick to bash neil's head in like a piñata. let me remind you that it was probably one of the very few times andrew used every fiber of his being to run as though he was being chased by a ghost and save his pipedream from being taken away from him. and if that ain't love idk what is because that is mcfuckingpoetic.

[neil-jortsen]

kevin: i said no, neil

neil: you- !

neil: . . .

neil, turning to andrew: how much money would i have to put in the swear jar if i said *leans in to whsiper*

andrew: that’ll rack you up to at least fifty dollars

neil, contemplating: fuck

kevin:

neil, turning away: i can’t afford it

based on this post

[heymrstargazer]

aftg hc of the day: andrew is so dramatic when he and neil go to bed. definitely not in a verbal, whining way, though. if he literally lounged around in pajamas all day and the most effort he put into something was giving the cats extra treats, he will flop face first into bed like he just ran a marathon. on occasions where they actually had a difficult practice he just spreads out on the couch and either hauls himself up after an hour or waits until neil pulls him off the couch (or carries him). if he lays down before brushing his teeth he will let out the biggest sigh ever before getting up again. neil usually just watches from the side with the tiniest hint of a smirk, but does occasionally move things around just to slightly inconvenience him (and to watch andrew grump about it more)

[kazzyboy]

Y’know what. I wanna fall in love! (Smacks someone in the stomach with a racquet)