sometimes i look you up on linkedin just to make sure it’s still clear that i’m doing better in life than you
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
art blog(derogatory)
Misplaced Lens Cap

#extradirty

@theartofmadeline

Product Placement

oozey mess

Origami Around
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
NASA
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
$LAYYYTER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Jules of Nature

tannertan36
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
sheepfilms

PR's Tumblrdome
No title available

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

seen from Germany

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Japan
seen from Pakistan
seen from France
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Italy
seen from Germany

seen from Netherlands

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Türkiye
@get-out-while-you-can
sometimes i look you up on linkedin just to make sure it’s still clear that i’m doing better in life than you
steam rises,
and water pools at my feet,
as i frantically scrub,
at all of the dirt,
that doesn’t budge,
and then i see you through the glass:
standing in the doorway,
staring intently.
and i try to hide,
but there is nowhere to go,
so when you step in,
and i can’t move,
and you come closer,
and i can’t hide,
and you stare,
and stare,
and all i want,
is to disappear,
why does it feel so familiar?
being an adult is weird because
i have money now,
and i have freedom now,
but now i just miss what i had before.
i’m in this strange purgatory -
you are supposed to spend your
early 20s being wild and free and
not caring and going out and
i don’t even know but a bunch of stuff
that i’m not doing and i
feel like i just
don’t care to do any of it
can’t be bothered,
it would be better alone,
etc etc
time keeps passing but i’m not moving
forwards, at least,
i know it’s impossible but
i think i’m regressing,
not sure to what form
or what version but
something i don’t want
to return to,
dear nobody,
it’s been years since i wrote you.
i’m sorry.
i had people to talk to,
for a while.
so i took a hiatus.
but have no fear!
i’m back, as me as ever.
and i’m a woman now (?)
which is crazy.
and i’m in love (?)
which is crazy.
and i’m actually kind of happy (?)
which is crazy.
but i don’t know how long things will last.
i’ve started feeling things lately,
that i haven’t felt in years,
things that scare me,
things that make me want to run away,
but i don’t have anything to from now (?)
which is, kind of, the worst part,
because there’s no end to it.
it’s just, life?
from now on?
Photo by Daniel von Appen
and it’s just that
while i waste away
you remain unchanged
and i don’t know
whose fate is worse
but we certainly
aren’t moving in
the same direction
so it’s forever?
no end in sight
work to the bone
or make someone else
my soul’s gone either way tbh
knee high boots and nothing underneath the surface
it’s a funny feeling
this is life,
this is it now
not sure what to do,
yet not enough time in the day
i had so much time
and just like that,
in the blink of an eye,
once you notice,
after all this time,
steam rises,
and water pools at my feet,
as i frantically scrub,
at all of the dirt,
that doesn’t budge,
and then i see you through the glass:
standing in the doorway,
staring intently.
and i try to hide,
but there is nowhere to go,
so when you step in,
and i can’t move,
and you come closer,
and i can’t hide,
and you stare,
and stare,
and all i want,
is to disappear,
why does it feel so familiar?
why little lives scare me
i’m scared of a little life,
not because i want a ‘big’ life,
but because little is finite
life is finite, of course,
in terms of time,
but ‘little life’ isn’t about time,
there’s something else,
that makes it so bitter,
‘little life’ is bounded,
by whatever makes it ‘little’
and not just ‘life’.
little life takes away the agency,
implies you cannot change,
beyond some threshold.
…….
by that logic, isn’t describing
a life as ‘little’ prescribing to
the belief that we cannot change our future?
that destiny is set in stone?
because if we could / it wasn’t,
we would have infinite possibilities,
making a little life impossible?
::::::::::
anyways ……..
that makes no sense,
but that’s all i have to say
little lives scare me,
i just want a life,
unbounded,
no parameters given
this little life
this little life
this little life
trying to get my mouth
to say the words
and trying to get my heart
to love them.
but it’s like trying to
swallow pills without water.
it makes me gag.
i can’t do it.
i know it’s true
but i am so scared
of just another little life
now I write to myself
because I have no one else
to send letters to
so dear girl the mirror
i miss you
all i ever do is sit and write love poems
i wish something else would inspire me,
keep me up at night,
drive me insane,
but all i ever do is sit and write love poems,
dedicated to all the people i’ve loved,
or almost loved,
or never loved at all,
over and over,
again and again,
i don’t know how not to fall,
i’m hopeless,
always a different,
yet the same, muse
i keep writing love poems,
but the lines are never reused
why is it?
that the most beautiful seasons,
must come through transition
you can live in endless summer,
or never leave the snow,
but leaves can’t fall forever,
and if you blink
you’ll miss the green before things bloom
in a few months,
i will curse myself,
and crave the kiss of the sun,
but if it weren’t for rainy days, or frostbite cold,
i would never appreciate
a clear blue sky,
and green grass,
and orange and red and yellow leaves,
that crackle under my feet,
and the pink flowers,
that you smell for blocks,
and the first morning of spring,
when you realize that you only have
things to look forwards to