Deadpool + 4th wall-breaking

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Doug Jones
Interview Vampire Daily
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@gettingbydaybyday
Deadpool + 4th wall-breaking
Dad Of 4 Girls Tweets Conversations With His Daughters, Proves Parenting Is Fun
i was at a grocery store really late one night and some old guy kind of eyed me as i walked out of the store next to this other lady. She and I made eye contact and i knew she was scared too. we loaded up our groceries into our cars as fast as possible and I had way more bags than her so she got done faster than me. I panicked because i was sure she was going to leave so i just hurried faster, shaking a little, and then i noticed she sat in her car, watching me and making sure nobody came near. She waited not until all my groceries were loaded, or until my cart was put away, or until I got into my car. No, she didn’t drive away until I drove away.
And that was the moment that I realized how much women need other women. That we can’t win this war without each other and we have to be looking out for each other, every second.
my last year in new york city, i got off the subway around 9 or 10p.m. i only lived about 5 blocks from the f train, but i hadn’t gotten more than two before a woman’s hand suddenly touched my arm.
“that guy behind us is following you,” she said. “he was watching you leave the train car and followed you up.”
i hadn’t noticed him, or at least not noticed him following me. when we stopped outside a grocery store, he stopped half a block back and loitered. the woman linked her arm with mine and walked me several blocks out of her way to my front door and made sure i got inside safely.
another time, nocigar and i were walking home and at a stoplight a stranger grabbed my arm when i wouldn’t respond to him and tried to physically drag me over to him. she—who is, by the way, not a very physically imposing girl—ripped his hand off my arm and snarled, “don’t fucking touch her.”
protect your friends. protect strangers. there are good men in the world, but don’t wait for them to do something if you can do it yourself.
I was at a club once and my friend left with her boyfriend so I finished my drink and was heading out to the parking lot when three girls came up to me and basically surrounded me.
“Those guys behind us were talking about following you. We can walk with you.”
I have MMA training but have never in my life had been offered the protection and sanction of my own gender. This is so important.
GIRL CODE. FUCKIN’ GIRL CODE. LEAVE NO GIRL BEHIND. EVER.
So, yesterday, Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot, which is unfortunate because as it turns out, Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.
hobbies: being asleep, getting ready to go to sleep, going to sleep, getting into my bed, waking up and realizing i can go back to sleep, sleeping, being in my bed (asleep), falling asleep,
I’m not a cat guy, but…
shit he flying
MY BIRD IS SITTING IN THE TOP CORNER OF HER CAGE CALLING MY DOG’S NAME AND ASKING IF HE WANTS A TREAT AND IF HE WANTS TO GO TO OUTSIDE AND HE’S TOO STUPID TO REALIZE IT’S HER SO EVERYTIME SHE SAYS SOMETHING HE LOOKS AT ME LIKE
SHE LAUGHS EVERYTIME TOO AND NOW HE’S JUMPING ON ME AND BARKING AND GETTING MAD AT ME LIKE OLIVER TURN AROUND AND LOOK IN THAT HUGE ASS CAGE AND BEG HER FOR A FUCKING TREAT OR SOMETHING.
NOW SHE ASKED IF HE WANTS TO GO FOR A WALK
SOMEONE HELP.
NO OLIVER, IGNORE ECHO. NO ONE IS HERE
I PROMISE.
I’M 1000% DONE.
“OLI GO CAGE.” NO OLI
DON’T.
GO.
CAGE.
birds straight-up fuckin with other pets is my jam
Awkward Everyday Lives Of Animals By Simpsons Illustrator Liz Climo
Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping him up.
This made my day
The last one 😢
I’m reblogging cus of the last one 😩
Me: *mentions favorite tv show*
Friend: “I’ve never seen that befo-“
Me:
I am immediately reblogging this again because it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen
Sesame Street: *adds autistic character*
Me: Oh boy, this could be ba-
Sesame Street: *character is a girl*
Me: Wait w-
Sesame Street: *works with ASAN instead of Autism Speaks
Me: I can't beli-
Sesame Street: *Makes videos highlighting children with autism, including nonverbal children and people of color*
Me: This is
Sesame Street: *has a whole website dedicated to reaching out to autistic children and their families*
Me: I'm not crying you're crying
I’m super sexual but like also I’m super shy which don’t mix well
what?
Skull poop L?
what is this really supposed to mean tho
Dea poo L
Deaadpool advertising is really weird.
Isn’t there one that makes it look like some chick flick too?
Yes
fuckin love all of this nonsense
don’t forget this gem
@deadpoolology
so apparently ryan reynolds told fox they didnt have the balls to put up the emoji one
also there is the dick joke one
and the one they made in response to people misinterpreting the emoji one
@beyondrapture
@agenthgwells λιγοτερο απο μηνα
The dick joke one is my lockscreen 😂
“Who’s your favourite Disney Princess?”
THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST
Word.
i LOVE when ur kissing someone and they start smiling mid kiss