Our Little New Atomic Age

Kaitlin\ 31 \ She/Her \ Canada \ I like volcanoes and SKZ (Code) and Death Note

[xxvexatiousveexx]

He was so mad and gay

[aropride]

(so mad i can’t see straight) Yeah i just don’t think chat gpt is a good classroom tool

[astralprogesterone]

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I invite you to ruminate on death

[wiki-but-made-them-up]

[astercrash]

[wtf-is-hockey]

No for real. It’s the last day of school and you’re at a party with some friends and you’re signing each other’s clothes and bodies and having a good time, taking pics, commemorating your year together and yeah you’re the only poc at the party and you’re always the only fucking poc and yeah you have to deal with microaggressions daily but at least you’re being included.

Then later that night you go home and before bed you undress and go to shower to wash the marker off and you pass a mirror and you see a swastika on your head. You can’t remember who wrote what where. Which white friend thought it would be funny to watch you walk around with a swastika on your head all night without you knowing? Why didn’t any of the others tell you?

Years go by. You get away from those people, that town. You make new friends who are more like you and treat you better and get on with your life and before too long you haven’t thought about that night in years.

Then you blow up over night. Everyone knows your name. You can’t even go grocery shopping anymore. A lot of people love you but a lot of people hate you, and they want you to know it. They scheme to ruin your life day after day after day for months. They call you slurs. They suicide bait you. They stalk your girlfriend, say horrible things about your mom and your team. None of your white co stars are standing up for you. When one finally does he’s more concerned with defending himself. You’re microaggressed even more constantly only now it’s from your employer and from people with influence in the industry who could squash your dreams like a bug.

And they make a fake insta account framing you as a racist and it does something irrevocable to your fanbase and so many of the people who claimed to be ride or die for you the day before have now, without a second thought, despite seeing who you are for months and what kind of person you are, decided it must be true without any fucking proof and they hate you and they suicide bait you and yeah eventually it gets out the account was fake but damage was done.

And then one day, a month later, you wake up and discover they’ve unburied a photo from that night and they’re now using it to accuse you of being a white supremacist and they’re already celebrating your downfall and sure not everyone believes you’re a white supremacist but they once again, without proof, think you’re to blame.

You must have accepted it because you were being edgy. You’re basically white so of course you’re a little racist. It’s almost, for some reason, like they want to believe this about you. You, a moc, who has faced several lifetime’s worth of racism in a handful of months and people are angrier at you for that pic and hate you for it more than they have ever fucking been angry at or hated the people who have been being heinously racist to you for the last six months. They think worse of you than the white kid who drew it on you.

And this won’t even be the end of it.

[gettingsnowedunder]

Okay I hit the very bottom again I fainted three times but no concussion this time!! Called my friend who dropped everything at 9am to come to my house and watch me throw up, and he caught me one time when I passed out and started shaking a lot. But then I taught grade 1 online, and the whole time he stayed out of sight on my bed ready to catch me if I fainted out of my chair. I didn’t. When I was done he like held onto me and I know I was so sweaty and gross and scared. I can ask for help when I’m scared. And then. The guilt. Because every month I try to create boundaries but this was my closest friend for almost ten years and when I get scared I know he’ll come and not be weird, and then next time we hang out he’ll make it weird again. It’s like if there was a situationship without the sex. It’s a friendsuationship. No one else in my life likes him but when I’m fainting every hour who do I call. It’s tricky. Well, I got better. I got better and called my mom and she said “go for a walk so you don’t spiral” and I did and it was Great Advice. Everything is going to be okay. I just have to work harder be kinder boundary better and stop. Fainting. My body when it doesn’t have enough water just wants to be dead, it turns out.

[04k96]

[coffeefocusrat]

[hyunpic]

“you don’t know how proud i am to have a friend like you. im not usually someone who clings to relationships but the reason i held on to you was probably because you were that precious to me. your humor, your emotions, your music — i love them all as your fan. you don’t know what it means for me to be in the same team with you. love you”

[americanstaykid]

I’m not crying, youre crying!

[lamignonette]

[werewolf-transgenderism]

rip king, truly nobody was doing it for weird sci-fi and fantasy obsessed nerds like you 💔

[transformativeworks]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd0p0rz4n0mo

[novelconcepts]

Hey, man, c'mere. Listen. Get in real close, this is important.

You're gonna make stuff again. You're gonna make stuff you're proud of. You're gonna make stuff you're excited to share. You're going to feel that overwhelming drive to create, not just the frantic I want to want to you're stuck in now. You're going to have awesome ideas, and you're going to make them into reality. You're going to create again. You're still an artist. You're still a writer. You're still home to the same passion you had before. You'll find it again. It's not gone. It's just resting. Let it rest. You're going to make stuff again. I promise.

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[gettingsnowedunder]

I went to my doctor today to tell him about how my new medication is not! Working! And how I am facing strange new occasionally debilitating rage that festers inside me and then releases in passive aggressiveness to people I care about and I said this and then he said, well do you want to change to something else? And I said, it’s only been seven days. I don’t know what to do. He laid out all the options and I second guessed and said “I guess I’ll wait it out for another week?” And he very skeptically and kindly looked at me and said, even if you want to change tomorrow, that’s okay. It’s okay if you want to change this evening. Just call the office. Which I thought sounded very nice. Then I walked home and realized I’m not fooling anyone. I’m not fooling him, that’s for sure. Then I immediately became silently enraged at my coworker and had to listen to “Sangsu Station” 5 times in a row. It’s a great very silly song to calm down to. And now I think I have to change my medication.

[rasticore]

I legit can't wait for the anime to get to this bit

[deehlia]

THE STAR.

UPRIGHT: hope, inspiration, renewal, serenity, healing REVERSED: despair, lack of faith, disconnection, discouragement, imbalance The Star represents a person who brings hope, inspiration, and a sense of peace. Others look to you for guidance and support in difficult times. Can you live up to the expectations?

[pinketine]

When the topic becomes about racism between children you very quickly realise children of colour aren't seen as children but as some other thing that should just take the abuse and then forgive the Real White Children because they didn't know better. They don't understand it but children of colour can and will very early in their youth.