every day i get a little madder about the âdream jobâ narrative⊠all i want is to have a job that benefits society somewhat, doesnât abuse me, and lets me live a happy life outside of my job lol. jobs should not be (and arguably canât be) cosmic destinies and identities
Chewing on Boothill like beef jerky today thinking about how his past self would look at his current self, because I don't think it would be like... anything remotely close to pleased or proud.
Like there are some truly fascinating things to consider there; about his views then, his views now, the beliefs held on Aeragan-Epharshel, and the fact that what Boothill has willingly done to himself would probably be considered borderline blasphemous.
And I love it so so much, that Past Boothill probably wouldn't look at his current self with the feeling of teamwork, or passing the baton, or even any kind of friendliness. Instead, it's more like the demon he willingly became/sold himself to.
In 2.6 we get to see Boothill's dream through the dreampeek phone, and while it is technically a dream, the content skews very much towards this being a memory. And the younger Boothill of the past has some very verrrrrry different views from the Boothill of the present.
(Forever going insane over the fact that even in a dream of a memory, Boothill STILL DOES NOT HEAR HIS BIRTH NAME-)
Some of this is, of course, just the naivety of youth. At this point in his life, Boothill probably hasn't lost anyone close to him yet- at the very least, it's before the major loss he suffered from the carpet bombing. So he doesn't know what it's like to lose everything, even the planet beneath your feet, yet. Something like that is nearly impossible to truly fathom until it actually happens to you. Until then, it's just some far off possibility, a hypothetical. It's not something you consider, particularly when you're young like that.
And as we see in his character stories, Boothill held on to that logic, because he did go on to lose people he knew- not just to the IPC, but long before that. Life was rough on Aeragan-Epharshel.
And even so, we never see any evidence of him going off on a revenge quest. It says he took revenge on a rival gang, but nothing about him leaving home or taking such a long journey to do so- besides, for a gang to be considered rivals, they would have to be close enough to butt heads with Boothill and his gang, and cause problems. So he never would have left his home and his family behind for something like vengeance.
In 2.6 we also get the saying "death is the fairest form of grace" and oh I have always loved that one, and what it says about the place Boothill grew up in.
To say that death keeps one's purity intact implies that simply living in the world too long makes one impure. The longer you live, the more you're corrupted, or at least the more easily. The only thing that stops that is death.
When Boothill remade his body, when he stripped himself of all mortality, he purposely removed himself from what he and his people considered grace.
He's not going to age anymore! He seemingly can't starve or dehydrate or even die of exhaustion! He is so damn difficult to kill now that he may as well be functionally immortal!
And he chose this! He chose this! Boothill willingly and intentionally threw away the one salvation he's ever known, all for the sake of hunting one man to the ends of the earth and spilling his blood!
This would have been a view held by the Boothill of the past too, and in combination with him still unable to fathom the extent of the loss he has yet to suffer, I really don't think he'd be able to understand his current self's actions. Because to him, it would seem akin to summoning a demon to sell his soul and sign his name in blood. It's going against everything he ever believed in.
So it's not awe, or pride, or anything remotely positive, but it's not hatred either. It's not even dislike.
He's just. Baffled.
What do you mean, you have nowhere you want to return to?
What do you mean, you travel alone with no one beside you?
How on earth does someone build a life like that, with no home and no family?
How is it that you can a music library of like 1,200+ absolute bangers but as soon as you put it on shuffle in a group setting it's like. anime opening you added in 2010. homestuck parody song. musical artist who was cancelled last year for kidnapping and eating children in his basement. Hamilton
I can't believe some people are actually reblogging this like "Tch. Omg, so embarrassing OP, I can't believe you would ever admit to liking Hamilton đ " like ok, first of all congratulations for hatching as a fully formed adult in 2022 from the pure white egg of a virgin swan i guess. Raised in a cave on a diet consisting solely of nuts and berries and leftist twitter clapbacks. "ooooooh, I've never had a complicated relationship with a piece of art that was phenomenally well-received at the time but aged like milk as later reflection revealed the fundamental flaws in its premise that were in fact present from its inception but which I didn't notice because I was 17 and hadn't heard of neoliberalism yet" Should we throw a party? Should we invite Anthony Fantano? Anyway second of all. you draw the line at Lin Manuel Miranda but you're fine with basement guy?
Hot take but I really do think that some of yâall need to consider how/why/when/how often youâre making fun of straight people for being straight
I do it too, Iâm not going to pretend I donât make jokes about the hets, or the down with cis bus, or whatever
But I recently befriended a cis, straight dude and I have watched him be dismissed, degraded, and unambiguously insulted for the perceived âcrimeâ of being straight â all in queer environments where he is allegedly âcompletely welcomeâ and surrounded by âfriendsâ
This guy is not a toxic person! But I have seen him be made to feel so small and like his comfort and safety in those spaces are conditional on his silence and acceptance of being treated like a human dunk zone, and I think that some of yâall have had so much shit from straight/cis people that the second you feel like youâve got an inch, you want to luxuriate in the perceived catharsis of bullying someone whoâ actually âdoesnât deserve it
And until he very, very carefully mentioned to me in private that it makes him feel bad, I didnât even clock that I was involved in doing that, that it had become so instinctive for me to make casual jokes like that, and thatâ well meaning or otherwise âI had been contributing to an environment that made someone I really really like feel like shit
So, I dunno, I think maybe some of yâall should think about that too
Coming back to say that while a lot of the responses to this post have been mainly positive, some folks have an attitude that it should be something that my friendâ or any cis, straight man âshould just be able to get over, because fuck âem, thatâs why, because theyâre in a queer space and they should shut up and accept it, because you suffer as a queer person and they should have to suffer tooâ regardless of whether or not this specific person has done anything to wrong you
Iâm gonna say this point blankâ youâre a tar pit if you think this way
Your suffering does not make you special, you are not granted brand new permissions to be belligerent and cruel because you have been treated poorly, straight people arenât an oppressed class, no, but theyâre people who are entitled to the same amount of basic decency that you, yourself, are entitled to
It feels good when youâve been treated like shit to then go forward and treat other people like shit. Thatâs what youâre admitting. Does it make you feel good to do harm? Are you proud of that? Are you comfortable with being that kind of person? Because I dunno about the rest of youâ but I realized I wasnât, and it turns out itâs pretty fucking easy to change
