SUKI'S PARADISE

{ 𝚜𝚑𝚎 / 𝚑𝚎𝚛 | 𝟷𝟿 } - { 𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗'𝚜 #1 𝚏𝚊𝚗 } ╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱

[gh0st-app3ars]

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . 𝐁𝐢𝐨

⏝꒷︶ ͡𑁬⁠♡໒ ͡ ︶꒷⏝

|⟢ Name : 𝐀𝐝𝐲𝐧 / 𝐀𝐉 / 𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢

|⟢ Age : 𝟏𝟗 (𝟐𝟎 𝐢𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫)

|⟢ Sexuality : 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐛𝐢𝐚𝐧 / 𝐛𝐢 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬

|⟢ pronouns: 𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲/𝐢𝐭

───•⋅⊰༻༺⊱⋅•───

|⟢ Interest ! 𝐅&𝐅 / 𝐎𝐋:𝐁𝐀 / 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 / 𝐃𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐫𝐭 / 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

⤹

|⟢ Extra ! 𝐈 𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 / 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ! 𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!!

⋘ 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡... ⋙

𝙼𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘 / 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚘

⤹

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

[angel--cassie]

[angel--cassie]

[clleanlliness]

yes diva ignoring all your messages is peak self care keep isolating yourself queen

[gh0st-app3ars]

Backread all my blogs lmfao

Sorry guys. Didn't realize how emo I've been

Might post some fishing pics tmmr or something

# i need a tan I'm so fucking pale

Also I may be working on some cool new ocs that are outta this world ☀️🌘🌠

[pinkpalmdrive]

[de-activated-offical]

Heartbreaking: The worst person you know is actually the victim.

[l1zzygrxntt]

I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane I’m insane

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[dearxalia]

[gh0st-app3ars]

When i grow up...

|| ramblings of a 19 year old girl about how everything fucking sucks||

# might be spiraling # what ifs

As a kid everyone is asked "what do you want to be when you grow up"

Pretty stupid question to ask a 9 year old since they have NO CLUE what the real world is like but its whatever.

Now 9 year old me wanted to be a fashion designer, oh how I loved clothes and drawing out dresses and outfits. My mom even got me a sewing kit so I could make some dresses for my dolls (not very good ones though ofc). People giggled when I told them, I was so serious about it but being a 9 year old it passed QUICKLY

|| Time moves on and I turned 12

The wonderful world of cartoons and animation enter my life, I knew from right then that I wanted to create characters for these shows. It was so beautiful how they were so complex and the idea that so many people worked on one project to create something so cool. I pursued art throughout the next 4 years like my life depended on it, looking back at my old art it was so cute remembering how little me was so proud of my skills (even though half of it looked like shit)

|| Time moves on and I turn 16

Sophomore year , im still doing art ofc but im not quite sure what i want to be, art has becomea hobby and art school was a bug in the back of my brain. Now looking back i think I matured (mentally) faster than the rest of my peers so I was trying to look more logically into careers, money was more important.

"What can make me money and still be fun?"

Cosmetology! Oh how i loved doing hair and nails, my highschool had a class for it and I immediately jumped on the opportunity.

The universe laughed in my face though, stuck me with the most misogynistic female teacher that I've ever met. She told the class I was a great example of HIV symptoms because I was overweight and exhausted.

My mom pulled me into homeschool the next day. I dont want to be a stylist anymore.

|| Time passed and I turn 17

At this point I was so exhausted and isolated that I just wanted to finish highschool, but then I did research and I found out about art history and restoration.

And i found out about a wonderful school called Belmont that has a pretty good art program. I put my all into graduating.

Then I found out that the one class I flunked in freshman year tanked my GPA from a 4.0 to a 3.6

Probably wasnt that big of a deal at the time but my whole life it was so easy to get A's and it tanked my confidence so bad. I feel so dumb for thinking I was smart.

And because I went to homeschool I wasn't offered any scholarships or taught how to apply for anything like that. I got overwhelmed and tossed belmont out the window. I'd rather give up entirely than get a rejection letter from the one thing that I had any drive to do.

|| Time passes and I'm now 19

Is it possible to hit rock bottom before you turn 20? Cuz it feels like i have.

It feels like the universe decided that I was the scum of the earth and dropped tons of shit on me.

• broke up with my boyfriend

• bff moved in with me

• my parents are pissed at me constantly

• I work a dead-end job that makes the months blend together

• I eat to cope with stress, developed "BED" or wtv its called idk.

• I dont know what im going to do with my life and i can't see my future past 25.

• lowkey have an addiction to weed and nicotine to de-stress

• i buy things i dont need to fill and empty hole in my chest.

What the fuck is the point? I was told constantly as a kid that america is the birthplace of freedom and opportunity! The only glaring opportunity I see right now is a bullet to the back of the cranium, old yeller style.

Genuinely how the fuck do people live? How do people get apartments and live by themselves? Im so lonely that I word vomit to every person I meet and drive people away, I apologize constantly just for existing. It feels like I should because even I get exhausted of myself sometimes.

I wonder sometimes that if I had just chose something else to play with as a kid if my life would be different. Like if I picked up a kids engineering set as a kid would I be a better, more productive, well adjusted member of society? Or if I had just been born into a well-off family would I be able to attend the school i wanted?

I keep telling people that im trying to be better, that im making progress. I dont think i am though, every step I take forward i fuck it up and end up 40 steps backwards. I just want to fix myself

I want to be normal, to think normal, to behave normally.

Is that too much to ask for? Can whatever god hear me just this once and take pity on me? I just don't want to be a lonely loser working 24/7 to make ends meet.

It's fine though, I'll be ok tomorrow. And the next day. And the next month. It'll blend together and I'll just disassociate, I'll become a husk. A background character in everyone else's lives. Maybe that was my purpose, a supporting character, there to take the emotional blow so other people can better themselves.

I'll be fine. I always am.

[gh0st-app3ars]

Guys now my FATHER is sending me a GODDAMN LETTER .

A LETTER BRO.

I havent talked to this mf in 2 years

I need 7 days of pto and a pound of weed cuz I cannot with this shit rn

[gh0st-app3ars]

From now on im willingly ignorant bc istg if another fucking thing happens to me rn I will lose my

FUCKING

MIND

IM ONLY 19 WHY THE FUCK IS MY LIFE SO FUCKED ALREADY

[gh0st-app3ars]

The universe fr saw me and said

"Yeah fuck this girl in particular"

[gh0st-app3ars]

Bio dad that I haven't heard from since I was 6 months old hmu

Life couldn't POSSIBLY get worse

What is it with deadbeat dad's assuming everything is all fine and dandy after their kid turns 18/19? Just because im an adult now doesnt erase what you did to my mom.

Like what do I even say? Ofc I have questions but I dont even know what they are yet.

What was mom like?

Why did you do that to her?

Why couldnt your family accept me?

IM SO TIRED OF MEN SHOWING UP UNANNOUNCED JUST TO FUCK UP EVERYTHING I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO FIX FOR MYSELF

First my adoptive dad, my ex boyfriends, my stepdad, and now this motherfucker.

Im so done.

[gh0st-app3ars]

"Oh yeah Bro shes probably still thinking of me"

Yeah unfortunately I am.

Fuck you. Fuck your small dick. And fuck your

BUSTED ASS RUSTBUCKET OF A TRUCK

Hes a parasite in my head that I can't get rid of. Its not that I miss him, Its that I'm PISSED at myself for being that desperate.

Last time I ever date a man that thinks a "girlfriend" is a girl who's there to love and serve him without getting anything back.

[hazelingmist]

I’m so afraid of someone perceiving me incorrectly

[gh0st-app3ars]

I swear im gonna make a resume to give to people bc im not about to have people think im someone im not.

[piinkcheesse]

olba wedding dlc my beloved 🥲🌊

i just realized never posted this drawing of Cove i did back in the ancient days of february