Cleo sits next to Scott, her head in her hands, and says—
—“I really thought it’d be different this time.” BigB sighs. He kicks his foot. Ren is, at least, a sympathetic ear. He understands these things, or at least he understands that it’s hard to be alone. “I mean, I know you don’t trust those guys…”
“But they reached out, man. And I thought, well,”—
—“I could always bury the hatchet, you know?” Cleo says. “It’s been what, how many games? How many years? And I can recognize when I’m as much of the problem as someone else.”
“You had a reason to be a problem. I love that you’re a problem,” Scott says supportively. Pearl snorts in the corner.
“I’m good at being a problem!” Cleo says
“I know, you are,” Scott agrees.
“But it’s like—I don’t know. Maybe I was ready to be done being angry! Maybe I…”—
—“…just wanted a change.”
BigB is quiet. He lets the thought sit in the air. Ren, normally a man determined to fill silences, at least understands the value of a dramatic pause; he doesn’t say anything yet.
Martyn, however, has grown a bit more impatient over the sessions. "What kind of change? You two have been weird about each other for years."
BigB is quiet a moment more. "Did you know that—Ren, did you know that you were the first and last person to show me trust?"
"Uh, thank you, dude," Ren says.
"But like, the thing is, people, they stabbed us then, man. And it's just..."—
—"...he didn't have to! That's what gets me! He could have like... said anything to me? I don't ask much! I offered him my hand! I said, sure man. I'm gonna forgive you, just this once. We can try again. And he just—he tried to kill you! Why?"
"I mean, Scott is one of the people with the most lives," Impulse says reasonably. "And he didn't betray you."
"That's not how teams work, Impulse," Cleo says. "You can't just get rid of the teammate you don't like. The team is only as strong..."—
—"...as weak as it's component parts."
"Jesus, BigB," Martyn says.
BigB looks away. "Yeah, um, well. I don't think that's that stupid. It's not about you two, really. And this is a death game, right? I didn't attack her. It's just... I wasn't going to, really. I wasn't..."—
—"...he was going to, that's the thing. He's always going to do... this!"
"Maybe that's what you get for reaching out to a traitor," Scott says lightly.
Impulse looks away. Pearl snorts again. Cleo sighs.
"Look, I have a long memory, but if I let that decide everything I do forever it would eat me. And people have their reasons. Impulse, look Scott in the eyes, he's not even the reason you have that reputation. Pearl, you're a part of the team. That's the thing. People can change. People..."—
—"...can't change, really." BigB shrugs. "She should know better by now."
"Uh, dude, should we know better?" Ren asks.
"Nah. I mean, Martyn's worse than I am," BigB says cheerfully.
"Martyn," Ren says, sounding vaguely disappointed. Martyn crosses his arms.
"What? You're the one who said I had evil in me. If you take in a snake, you can't be mad if it bites you. If you take in a scorpion..."—
—"...you can hope it learns not to sting you. I don't know. Maybe it's just in his nature."
Pearl makes a strange noise. "And what's in my nature?"
Cleo sighs. She steps over and throws an arm around Pearl's shoulder.
"As long as you don't bite me? I'm willing to learn." Pearl leans into Cleo's arm slightly. Cleo can't help but wonder, some days, how much of the way she flinches back again is her fault. BigB isn't the only one that Cleo hopes can change his nature. Otherwise...
"I'm not actually a traitor, despite what everyone claims," Impulse says, apropos of nothing.
"You know, you should pick better friends," Scott says.
"Nah," Cleo says. She doesn't elaborate. She just—
—breathes. BigB just breathes.
"It was never going to work, anyway," he says.
"Sometimes I wonder if everyone broke while I wasn't looking," Ren says quietly, sadly. BigB has no answer for that.
