you didn't mean it but it felt like you did (03/22/24)
when will sorry be enough?
it won't really take all those years back.
and i don't think you are.
sorry, i mean.
maybe because i didn't tell you or anything.
it all just feels so unfulfilling.
it always feels like there's a hole leaking out, and i'm starting to think it's impossible to fix.
i can't get rid of it or hire anybody to fix it.
of course i tried! i tried to fix it myself, too.
but the words and effort never amount to anything!
there's still a leak, and it pours out even more than ever.
you won't say sorry.
but even if you did, it won't ever make a difference.
i never felt normal, i've always felt like i've been half of me.
no amount of sorries can ever fix that.
i want to put all the blame onto you, as easy as it is to say it's your fault.
don't say you're sorry, don't apologize.
because i don't think i'll ever forgive you.