Ack

Cassius — i spam pls dont hate me — determined — intj-t, choleric, slytherin — multi fandom

[causeimdanjones]

Sorry

[krudman]

I queued this up for the first of october. I probably forgot about this by now.

[krudman]

I queued this up for the first of october again. I probably forgot about this by now.

[radish-kun]

Festival

[kellkyy]

Glowing mushroom witch

[mienar]

“we open at sunset.”

[wellbutrinboy]

how many times have i licked the salt lamp in my room since i got it? well that is just my own sweet and sexy secret

[tapewontfixit]

[nosdrinker]

i need constant attention and love because i’m four years old

[bifacts]

Fact: When you have a crush on two people of different genders, it’s a bilemma

[tailornorata]

I see less of a bilemma and more of a poly-bi-lity

[jamiemarierose-deactivated20260]

“What do you want?”

“I want… glory. And fame. And riches, riches beyond my wildest dreams. Oh, and beauty. Great beauty, the kind that inspires songs and art. I want to love and to be to loved. I want to travel the world and see all of its wonders. I want children, lots of them. All happy and healthy, of course. I want to grow old, to the ripe, old age of one hundred, and to die peacefully in my sleep. I want to be happy.”

The demon hardly suppressed a sigh. It was baffling, really, just how much these starry-eyed mortals thought they could get for the meager price of one soul. This job was tiring on its best days and utterly vexing on its worst… not to mention that the benefits left much to be desired.

But the ancient creature was nothing if not professional. A thin smile graced his lips as he rested his piercing gaze on the ignorant, blessedly ignorant human before him.

“Pick one.”

[redlipstickresurrected]

9Jedit aka 제딧 (Korean, South Korea) - 133/365 from 365 Days of Daydream, 2017 Digital Arts: Paintings

[one-little-leaf-deactivated2023]

[books-and-cookies]

I spent at least 10 minutes watching this on repeat. I cried so much. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in a long time.

[billieyoarmstrong-deactivated20]

External image

[moonkitty]

ive had this queued this march

[tibbare-deactivated20190307]

but have y’all seen the sequel

[opusbrain-deactivated20170614]

A video posted by Eh Bee Family (@ehbeefamily) on Dec 31, 2016 at 9:06am PST

[nemfrog]

“Each dot represents 5,000 hogs.” World Geography. 1948. 

[boingoalive1988]

untapped infinite hog supply in the ocean

[sketchmagetch]

Each state is lined with an impenetrable wall.of swine. We are trapped

[egirlbutternubs]

We’ve lost canada and mexico to the hogs already

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

The five types of canon.

Canon: What actually happened.

Headcanon: What you think happened, based on the characters, settings, storylines and all reasonable extrapolations thereof.

Heartcanon: What you feel ought to have happened, quite divorced from rationality or sense.

Soulcanon: What you know happened, deep down in your soul, regardless of what anyone says. Including the creators of canon, themselves.

Crotchcanon: What your gonads wish had happened, or, alternatively, what turns you on.

[nuevayor]

contact lenses are really just bras for ur eyeball titties

[garurururuurur-deactivated20170]

i can’t do this anymore this is the post that will make me leave this website. i cannot live knowing this and i will never wear contacts again. thank you for ruining my life

[formlessdemi]

The legend actually fucking did it

[nuevayor]

My impact

[prince-aziraphale]

I’ve seen a handful of AUs where Harry is deaf and I love it but it also makes me laugh because I just imagine Tom Riddle monologuing in the Chamber of Secrets and finally turning to a confused Harry who just signs “I’m deaf” and Tom is just like ??????

Voldemort isn’t present Harry’s 3rd year because his spirit is too busy learning sign language because god forbid he can’t monologue to Harry Potter come 4th year when he finally has a body.

[andantegrazioso-deactivated2018]

[equikage]

This is the funniest thing I have ever read

[elliottheamericanbulldog]

Omfg this is…interesting…

Also, my mom has said plenty of times that she’d rather dog sit Elliot than watch a baby for me so I think my parents are going to live if I never have kids.

[fjordfolk]

idk man, my mom keeps telling me i should get another dog.

[ladycyon]

Reblog if you also want to chase down something in the woods and rip its still-beating heart out, together with your replacement child fur baby.

[accioturtur]

I’ll tell you what G. Shane Morris. When I no longer have to face the thought of having to explain to my toddler about how they cannot get a job that will actually support their future without a college degree and they cannot get a college degree without taking out student loans that they will literally spend the rest of their life paying back and they’ll have to do so while living in their parent’s home which is actually their grandparent’s home because buying a home is no longer an attainable goal…

Then I will have a whole herd of human babies.

Until then I will content myself with a pack of fur babies I can raise with no guilt over what kind of future they’ll be faced with when they grow big and strong and toothy and fluffy and beautiful.

[turtlepated]

Do not speak to me or my four legged meowing daughter ever again. Good day to you.

[firebirdscratches]

When will Boomers realize that we are fucking POOOOOOORRRRRRR DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE KIDS ARE??? FIDO DOESN’T OUTGROW HIS REEBOKS EVERY MONTH, I DON’T NEED TO PAY HIS TUITION DEBORAH.

[manicpixiesdreamdragon]

If we don’t have kids how can they tell us we’re raising them wrong?