[ghost-inmyhead]

sweats profusely bc ash called me her girl like, i rlly wanna be her girl

[ghost-inmyhead]

ashley held my hand today n i’m. 🥺

[ghost-inmyhead]

i spent the day with ash in paris and i’m coming to terms with the fact that i’m starting to like her. my feelings for tegan are changing and yeah, i do feel a little guilty but i can’t seem to over look her making my emotions feel irrelevant... and going by from what rina has told me about how she treats her and her brother... i’m just anxious about letting myself get into that. like, what if it wasn’t off?

i just know that i’m happy to be europe with ash not having to worry about nothing else other than what we’re gonna eat and getting ready for shows on tour.

[ghost-inmyhead]

i won’t lie, when chiara told me that ash has been low-key trying to flirt, i couldn’t help but blush.

[ghost-inmyhead]

why am i getting the vibe that you’re not really that into me anymore ....

[ghost-inmyhead]

i’m really really heart broken that tegan doesn’t seem to care that i’m hurt right now, and that she’s much rather run off to a bar instead of saying good bye.

[ghost-inmyhead]

awkward moment when the girl i like doesn’t like one of my best friends... and there’s not even a valid reason as to why.

[ghost-inmyhead]

i kissed a pretty girl n she’s also into me so i guess that’s kinda cool

[ghost-inmyhead]

why do i feel so sad leaving you behind? it’s like i’m leaving a little part of me....

[ghost-inmyhead]

being told to d*e even just as a joke always leaves a chill over me and i don’t really understand why because it’s been years since i’ve hit that low in my life

[ghost-inmyhead]

i’ve missed you more than i’m willing to admit.

[ghost-inmyhead]

a good week. the wedding was beautiful, i might have cried a little (a lot). i’m trying to avoid wallowing in any kinda sadness. i’m keeping myself busy and not really letting myself sink any lower. i’m glad to be back in la for a short while, i kinda missed it and i think i’m looking to pack up my boston apartment and move over here. until then, i can’t wait to see marisol when she gets home. my heart has been hurting for her and more than anything i just wanna give her a big ass hug because i’ve been so worried.

[ghost-inmyhead]

i’m not so much sad that i’m no longer in a relationship, i’m sad because i don’t understand what i did wrong

[foreverimthatgirl-deactivated20]

me: *literally about to burst into tears for no fuckass reason*

me to me:

[ghost-inmyhead]

ngl i’m a lil upset that chiara forgot to invite me to her bachelorette, like i get it, she’s busy and she’s stressed but i feel a little ... forgotten. like i can’t mean /that/ much. y’know, worthless. but i don’t have the heart to tell her that it hurt a little.

[ghost-inmyhead]

you haven’t talked to me in months n now u want me to help u with ideas for ur gf???? charming

[ghost-inmyhead]

why am i falling back into such a dark place when my life is great atm. i can’t fully explain how i feel. i feel sad n afraid n alone when i know i shouldn’t feel any of those things esp not alone. idk mb it’s all temporary n it’ll pass...i just don’t want to admit to any of my friends (or cris) as to what’s going on bc i feel rlly stupid.