PAIRING. sure thing!haechan x sure thing!fem!reader
GENRE. smut, mild humor
CONTENTS. oral (receiving), overstimulation, creampie, breast play, nipple sucking, dirty talk, ear play
WORD COUNT. 9.3k
SUMMARY. after the events of sure thing, you and Haechan proceed to dance around each other, with you getting into a small number of situationships and flings in the meantime. however, you’ve always known that you and Haechan could be something real, and you’re not in the mood to deny it for any longer.
“I know you kinda can’t help it, but can you take it easy on the turns? Haechan’s drink is lowkey dripping and I’m sure you don’t wanna ruin your upholstery.” you call out from the backseat, and Jeno nods, shooting you a thumbs up. upon further inspection of you from the rearview mirror, Jeno sighs.
“you’re gonna show up at Haechan’s house like something out of a wet dream with that little skirt of yours and a complimentary Baja Blast and we’re gonna sit there and watch him paw at you like an animal until someone caves and we witness the beginning of a softcore porno. yippee. fun times with friends.” Jeno mumbles, and you freeze, looking at Jaemin for support, but Jaemin’s just as stunned as you are, mild amusement on his face as he regards your now suddenly candid friend.
“I don’t even know where to start…” you stammer, blindsided. “we were twenty minutes late to see him because of the Taco Bell fiasco, so the Baja Blast was like an apology… and he does not paw at me like an animal—”
“he definitely does when he thinks we’re not looking.” Jaemin interjects, and you wince.
“okay, fine.” you relent. “but I attempt to use discretion!”
“I’m sure you do,” Jeno says with a heavy sigh. “he’s just… whipped.”
“don’t say that like it’s a bad thing!” you retort defensively, and Jeno rolls his eyes.
“of course you don’t think it’s a bad thing. you wear short skirt, Haechan glitches and does whatever you want.”
“what is it with you and my skirts, sir?” you laugh. “this is the second time you mentioned it!”
“it’s tempting! how’s the poor guy gonna keep his head on straight if you’re not even gonna give him a fighting chance?” Jeno exclaims incredulously, and you roll your eyes. “plus, it’s summer, but the night time is not as warm as the daytime… the sun is gone.”
“I’m not, like, dumb, Jeno,” you scoff with a roll of your eyes. “I’m not cold, and Haechan has heating in case I do get chilly.”
“of course he’ll turn the heat on for you in the middle of the summer. but I almost freeze my ass off in december, and he leaves me for dead! I had to huddle my bong for warmth!” Jeno mutters huffily, and Jaemin sighs sympathetically.
“he’s whipped for her; what do you expect?” Jaemin says, and you splutter, turning to Jaemin.
“it’s sweet!” you argue.
“‘it’s sweet,’ she says,” Jeno remarks bitterly. “the man’s down bad with no chance of recovery, and she thinks it’s sweet.”
“hey! stop that, I think it’s really cute that he’s so attentive.” you grouch, and Jaemin rolls his eyes pointedly, turning to look at you fully.
“he’s basically professing his love to you with every little privilege you get, you know that, right?” Jaemin says plainly, and you balk.
“well…”
“well?” he presses with a raised eyebrow.
“I mean, it may have crossed my mind that there’s a reason for the special treatment.” you say slowly, and Jaemin nods just as slowly, making you feel a bit like he thinks you’re dumb.
“so are you gonna stop messing with his mind and give him a chance? or are you gonna let some loser like Jason come in again and prolong the inevitable?” Jaemin says, again, just as slowly and with the patronizing hypnotic nod, but stops at the last question, chin tucked down to regard you through his impossibly long lashes.
“the inevitable is crazy,” you mutter to yourself, but Jaemin hears you. and he is not amused.
“were you gonna lead him on forever? that’s what that’s called, you know.” he scolds you with all the gentle firmness of a friend advocating for both sides.
you frown deeply. “I’m not leading him on.”
“so you like him?”
“well, yes.” you reply bluntly, as if it was obvious; because, frankly, you thought it was. “why do you two think I keep wearing the short skirts? he loves them.”
“aha!” Jeno exclaims triumphantly. “man, I wish we recorded that.”
“second time today you boys should’ve been filming,” you remark drily, inspecting your reflection in your phone and fiddling with a stray lash. “can’t keep lobbing you easy ones like this, fellas, you gotta start catching ‘em.”
“you’re really a piece of work,” Jaemin sighs with a fond chuckle. “well, your backseat intervention has come to an end; we’re here.”
“oh, yes!” you hiss victoriously, moving to exit the vehicle as soon as Jeno parks. Jaemin calls out loudly and sternly, and you freeze, frowning in confusion until he exits the car and opens your door to help you out. “oh. thank you.”
“I’m not your man, but my mother did raise me right, and Haechan’s not here, so.” Jaemin says with a shrug, and you nod slowly, mildly impressed.
“ladies should be beating down your door.” you remark, confused.
“I have high standards… and none of them pass the cat test.” Jaemin explains, and you nod again, now with more understanding.
“I see. well, we’re wasting time out here; let’s go.” you announce before marching into Haechan’s apartment complex and making a beeline for the elevator, pressing the button and waiting with your foot tapping impatiently.
“you’re definitely the ‘he asked for no pickles’ go-getter queen Haechan always dreamed of having,” Jeno chuckles as they come up beside you, and you chuckle.
“are you trying to let me know I’m his alpha?” you joke, and Jeno scowls.
“that… is cursed. don’t ever say that again.” he says sternly, and you frown.
“tough crowd, damn.” you mutter petulantly, and Jaemin rubs your arm comfortingly as the elevator door opens.
“I thought it was funny,” he assures you, and Jeno huffs as you perk up.
“don’t encourage her,” Jeno chides Jaemin, and Jaemin shrugs indifferently.
“I’m on the side of the funniest bit in the room.” he announces plainly, and there’s a moment of silence as the three of you let that sit.
“so if I’m his alpha, should I be pegging him and stuff? I don’t know if I’m into that.” you remark curiously, and Jeno chokes violently on what you would presume to be air or spit while Jaemin bursts into laughter and doubles over in delight.
“that was so deeply unhinged, I’m not sure if we should even tell Haechan you said it.” Jeno mutters, massaging the spot between his brows.
“you have a headache? I have Advil in my bag.” you supply helpfully, and the doors open just in time for you to dodge Jeno’s lunge for you with a tickled yelp of surprise and glee. “my favorite thing about pissing Jeno off is that I know some part of him wants to try and ground me so bad, but he can’t.” you sing to Jaemin, and he just chuckles, shaking his head.
“you’re a brat. Haechan’s got his hands full.” he confirms, and you smile sweetly as you all come to a stop in front of Haechan’s door. Jaemin reaches out and knocks, and there’s a faint rustling from inside before footsteps get closer to the door and it opens to reveal Haechan standing there, looking delectable and tan in his white t-shirt and gray sweats. “hey, man.” Jaemin greets, and Haechan grins at him, pulling him into a hug before letting him inside.
Jeno steps up next and he and Haechan stare each other down before cracking grins and hugging each other briefly. “get your brat,” Jeno remarks over his shoulder with a thumb jab in your direction as he heads inside, and you gasp in offense.
“I don’t need ‘getting,’” you huff, and Haechan nods in agreement.
“you don’t.” he says sincerely, and you smile, already comforted by his words because you can tell he means them. “you look gorgeous, as usual.” he compliments, and you smile wider, doing a little twirl at Haechan’s behest, and he lets out a wolf-whistle that makes you giggle, Haechan grinning at the sound.
“I got this for you.” you say, handing him the Baja Blast, and his brows raise before he reaches out and takes it, your fingers brushing lightly.
“I was wondering what took you guys so long to come,” Haechan laments, ushering you inside with a hand resting on the small of your back. “I saw your stories on Instagram about Taco Bell.” he pouts.
“I was craving a Baja Blast,” you say apologetically, and Haechan waves you off immediately.
“that’s totally valid,” he agrees. “one, because you wanted it. and you should get everything you want.” (you refrain from jumping his bones right then, impressively enough.) “two, because it was a Baja Blast, and, three, because you got me one, too.” he finishes, and you nod, pleased, wrapping your arms around his neck for a hug. he wraps his around your waist and you two just stand there for a moment, letting the other’s scent and aura envelop you both until a sense of serenity overtakes you and you gently extract yourself from him.
“see! Jeno lectured me for the sudden detour,” you pout. “I can’t stress how important it is to find people that match your energy,” you state, and Haechan nods firmly in agreement, shooting a glare at an unbothered Jeno who is more focused on his phone than the conversation at hand.
“and your freak.” Haechan adds, and you nod without really hearing him.
“right! and your— excuse me?” you say, blinking rapidly and turning to look at him, and he and Jaemin laugh.
“speaking of freaks,” Jaemin pipes up, “do you want to share the exciting life update that happened before we got here?”
“well, now I have to, because you spoiled it.” you huff, and Jaemin snorts.
“it would’ve come out eventually.” he replies with a shrug.
“what would’ve come out?” Haechan asks, confused as he looks between the two of you.
“yeah, speaking of freaks and relevant life updates,” Jeno chimes in, “Jason just swiped up on my story to tell me that he misses you and to please unblock him.”
“Jason, this, Jason, that; when are you gonna dump that schmuck and get with me?” Haechan huffs, and you laugh but find it more pressing to address Jeno’s statement.
“wh— how did he know I was with you?” you ask, bewildered, barely registering Haechan’s groan of irritation and frustration to your left.
“he recognized your nail set in the background.” he replies, and you roll your eyes.
“he’s pathetic? I’d pray for him but frankly I don’t care to find the time.” you sigh, and Haechan turns to look at you with growing realization.
“are you two on the outs again? is it my lucky day?” he asks hopefully, and you snort loudly in amusement.
“yes, today’s your lucky day, apparently,” you answer casually and relish in the comical way that Haechan freezes and fixes his gaze on you. “we broke up before I got here.”
for once too stunned to speak, Haechan forms half words and introductory syllables before finally spluttering out, “you–?”
“well, I dumped him. loudly.” you explain, and his eyes flash with glee.
“truly a spectacle, actually. I think you should have recorded it.” Jaemin chimes in.
“someone did. like 3 different people were filming.” Jeno pipes up, and Jaemin winces while Haechan sits forward in his chair.
“that’s incredible—that’s so hot—he—people filmed—?” Haechan stammers, and you shrug indifferently, inspecting your nails.
“I have a natural dramatic flair,” you explain naturally, patting Haechan’s knee before standing up. “it tends to turn heads.” you finish with a lingering glance at Haechan over your shoulder before heading to the kitchen to get some water.
from inside of the living room, you can hear Jaemin and Jeno intermittently filling Haechan in on the dramatic breakup speech you delivered to your ex-boyfriend, and Haechan’s cackles of glee with each brutal line delivery. it’s not long before you hear Haechan mutter something about hearing from you, the sound of furniture rustling, and footsteps approaching before you sense him watching you from the doorway of the kitchen. he doesn’t speak for a while, and you’re not even sure he knows you’re aware he’s watching you.
“you having fun staring from over there?” you call out with a small chuckle, setting your glass down before turning to face him.
“time of my life, actually,” he calls back, and you snort. “would love if I could get a little closer, though.”
“no one’s stopping you,” you say with a playful shrug and a glint in your eye that doesn’t go unnoticed.
immediately drawing closer, Haechan drums his fingers on the countertop before he speaks. “you know, it’s not easy to get rid of a leech like that,” he remarks matter-of-factly, and you shake your head slowly in agreement.
“you’re right. he started crying.” you reply off-handedly, and Haechan’s eyes look like they might bulge out of his head.
“what did you do to him?”
“things I will not repeat because I am a lady first and a crashout second.” you reply demurely, and he snickers loudly with a respectful nod.
“I see. well, for what it’s worth, I’m proud of you.” he says sincerely, and you blink up at him with a sweet smile, making him wince and grip the countertop. “careful, now.”
“what do you mean?” you ask, brows furrowing in confusion.
“Jaemin has so unkindly informed me that we’ve received one of three possible strikes for fucking during the hangout.” Haechan murmurs with a small scoff, and you bite your lip to suppress a laugh. “so we need to be on our best behavior.”
“did they really say that? he was behind the first one, really.” you remark, surprised, and Haechan scoffs.
“I know; he’s such a hypocrite.” Haechan huffs, and you snicker, patting his cheek gently.
“noted. so we need to really mind our p’s and q’s.” you say with a curt nod and a stifled giggle that has Haechan focusing in on you. “well, you, specifically, given that you got the warning and I didn’t.”
“mhm,” he agrees, eyes drifting to your chest.
“Haechan?”
“minding my p’s,” he mumbles, winding an arm around you and pulling you closer.
“alright…”
“and my q’s,” he murmurs, trailing his free hand down from your cheek to your chest.
“you’re so strange,” you chuckle to yourself, but the stirring sensation you feel in your abdomen has always been better at telling the truth than you.
“and dotting my t’s,” haechan mumbles softly, finger now reaching out to press against both of your hardening nipples, persisting past your gasp of surprise to say, “and cross my i’s,” his finger dragging down towards your belly button with intent to venture lower before you stop him with a hand gently wrapped around his wrist. he blinks up at you slowly with an air of impatience and you damn near forget what you were going to say in the first place.
“you said it backwards,” you point out stiltedly, and he arches an eyebrow in amusement, slowly and subtly moving to cage you against the counter.
“did i?” he muses, eyes flashing with triumph when you move to wiggle free slightly and finally realize you’re pinned in place. “how’s it supposed to go?”
“um, you’re supposed to cross your–” you start, words trailing off as Haechan leans in to tuck his nose between your ear and shoulder, inhaling so deeply, so indulgently, you’d almost swear he was getting another type of high from it.
“my what?” he mumbles, lips grazing your shoulder, and your responding whimper makes a wicked little chuckle leave his lips before he tilts your head out of the way with gentle nudges to allow himself better access to your neck. “c’mon,” he teases, tapping your thigh gently, “talk to me, baby.”
“cross your t’s,” you mutter out, words twisting into a gasp of surprise when Haechan’s hand slides to your inner thigh, your legs reflexively closing around his hand in response.
“mhm?”
“and dot your i’s,” you finish, giggling slightly when Haechan wiggles his fingers stuck between your legs.
“okay, but didn’t you say ‘cross your t’s’?” he asks curiously, and you pause to think before nodding in confirmation. “right, yeah… so why are these crossed now, hm?” he murmurs, twisting his hand between your legs so they’re separated by the width of his palm—simultaneously letting you know that your little leglock had no effect on him—and looking pointedly from his hand up to your eyes. “uncross your legs.”
“you don’t need me to do that,” you point out, gesturing to where his hand has forced your legs apart slightly. “you could uncross them yourself.”
“well, that wouldn’t be very polite, would it, baby?”
“since when are you worried about manners?”
“since a very pretty girl told me to cross my t’s and dot my i’s,” he replies smoothly, and you snort in amusement, pushing at his chest as you both laugh. “and mind my p’s,” he continues, lips back at your ear with such a resonance from the sudden proximity that it makes a shudder travel down your spine, your gasp of surprise ragged with desire as he trails his unencumbered hand up your body to wrap gently around your throat. “and my q’s,” he breathes, tilting your head out of the way to allow him space by your neck as the hand between your legs twists back to being “trapped” between your legs.
“damn, she must be real pretty, then, if she’s turned you into such a gentleman.” you chuckle, but it’s a thin veil obstructing your blatant need for him.
Haechan doesn’t care about any of that. he never has.
“mhm,” he moans against your neck, and the sound alone has you about to cave, unbridled lust turning his mannish groan into a whimper at the end. “so fucking pretty,” he mumbles, pressing heated, heavy kisses down your neck and chest. “and…”
“...and?”
“and I heard she just broke up with the last loser to ever get in my way.” he finishes, pulling back to look at you.
“wh– huh?” you stammer out, voice raspy and confused, and he just chuckles fondly, brushing hair out of your face.
“you think I enjoyed seeing you date those idiots? liked seeing you tote them around like your charity case of the season—”
“hey!”
“don’t ‘hey’ me when you know good and well I could have been better to you from the beginning.” he huffs, and you roll your eyes but remain silent. “right. I don’t come with nearly as much emotional baggage as those guys did, and you know that.”
“well, no, but–”
“but?” he arches an eyebrow with a devastatingly handsome expression daring you to prove him wrong.
“but you come with the risk of fucking up our friend group if we started and ended anything.”
“who says it’d end?” he blinks at you, on the brink of bewilderment and slightly offended.
“haechan.” your response is flat but amused.
“yes?” he fails to see the humor in it all, actually, now eyeing you expectantly as if waiting for you to explain what seems very obvious to you.
“do not make a marriage joke to me. i just got out of a relationship and getting married would be the wildest—”
“revenge story? comeuppance? you dumped that loser and got married in less than 12 hours.” he points out, and you snicker.
“well, I’m a semi-traditional girl,” you huff, pouting slightly.
“yeah?” he chuckles.
“yeah. I want a ring. and a proposal, and a bridal shower, and a pretty wedding and reception—I want the fanfare of it all.” you sigh dreamily, and Haechan doesn’t say anything for a moment, prompting you to look over at him in confusion that only doubles when he’s just gazing fondly at you, eyes soft and warm. “why are you looking at me like that?”
“because I wanna give you all of that, baby.” he says sincerely, and you blink in surprise, shifting so you can observe him carefully. “the ring, the dress, the wedding, the reception—I could make that happen.”
“in less than 12 hours?” you snort in disbelief, and he narrows his eyes at you but chuckles.
“hey—if you needed it that quickly, I’d move the stars myself to make it happen.” he promises, and your gaze softens when you see nothing but sincerity twinkling in his eyes.
“yeah?” you say, voice soft, coy, and teetering on playful.
“yeah.” he affirms, nodding as he winds his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to gaze into your eyes openly. “but you’re also the type of girl that deserves to get to take her time.”
“most definitely,” you agree, a smile playing at the corners of your lips as your hands stroke up and down his arms and chest.
“and before I make all of that happen, I’m gonna prove to you that you should have been with me from the beginning.”
“oh, are you?” you’re toying with him verbally, but truthfully, you’re falling, fast, and you hope he can’t see just how hard.
“absolutely. and when I propose, you’re gonna have the prettiest tears twinkling in those eyes, but I won’t be able to wipe them until you say ‘yes,’” he says gently, and your heart clenches with a longing you’ve been ignoring for far too long.
“you…” you say carefully, taking in a deep breath to calm yourself. “are too smooth for my own good.”
“oh, yeah?” he chuckles, a shy smile pulling at the corners of his lips that makes your heart lurch with the exciting realization that his words were a beautiful display of sincerity and vulnerability.
“yeah,” you confirm with a giggle. “you could be a real ladies’ man.”
“i’m trying to be one specific lady’s man, if you catch my drift.” he says with a playful wiggle of his brows.
“I do, and that was a test, and you passed.” you laugh, delighted, and his face lights up.
“so you’ll go out with me?”
“I might if you ask me better than that.” you say with a playful shrug.
“you’re on.” he murmurs, leaning in close so his forehead presses to yours, nose bumping against yours gently.
there’s a moment, a breath, maybe, but you two just exist in the space it provides, not kissing, barely moving, just… being. and Haechan almost seals the moment with a kiss, the male looking at your lips for a moment before leaning in, but—
“are you both aware of the implications posed upon you two when you exit our sight and get very, very quiet?” Jaemin’s voice calls from the living room, and you snort loudly as Haechan sucks his teeth.
“we’re coming out!” you call back, and Haechan grumbles indistinctly under his breath.
“they’re no fun,” Haechan mutters, and you laugh, gently pushing him back. “don’t know why we hang out with them anyway.”
“free weed and camaraderie.” you reply succinctly, and he barks out a laugh, allowing you out of his embrace long enough to maneuver himself behind you with his hands on your hips. “um?”
“lead the way, pretty girl.” he murmurs in your ear from behind, and the surprise of his words and sensation of him being so close has you reacting before you know it, your body leaning into his and your back arching in arousal with a gasp which only makes him slip an arm around your waist and pin you to him, whispering in your ear, “actually, I think we should get out of here before you get us in trouble.”
you can barely hide the sheepish giggle that bubbles in you as you feel his length pressing against your ass, a clear sign of your effect on him.
“I think you already are,” you tease with a sing-song lilt before leaning back and pressing a kiss to his cheek, lunging forward just quickly enough to dodge Haechan’s anticipated attempt to grab you and rushing into the living room with a laugh.
as you take your spot on the couch with a secretive series of giggles bubbling out of you, Jeno clears his throat pointedly, drawing your attention.
“you are incredibly giggly for someone who just got out of a relationship.” Jeno remarks suspiciously, and you roll your eyes but Jaemin beats you to a response.
“I’d argue she’s incredibly giggly because she just ended that relationship.” he counters, and you nod emphatically.
“period.” you agree, and Haechan plops down beside you—if you can even call it that. “sir.”
“hm?”
“...must you sit right in this very position. on me and my leg?”
“I mean, I wanna sit right here.” he says, with that twinkle in his eye that tells you he’s about to be so difficult about this.
but you are too. “I am not moving and that is on feminism.”
“on feminism?” Haechan’s eyes practically bulge out of their sockets, and you grin, pleased you caught him.
“you’re manspreading!”
“oh, he definitely is, actually.” Jeno remarks.
“full on manspreading techniques being deployed right there, folks.” Jaemin comments, and Haechan huffs, glowering at your friends.
“whose side are you all on, anyway?” he asks gruffly.
“the bit.” Jaemin answers, Jeno nodding in agreement.
“fine! we can share.” Haechan grumbles before moving you around—so quickly and firmly that it’s a bit arousing—so he’s sitting on the couch and you’re perched on his lap.
all you can do is blink several times in surprise. “oh.”
“that was my goal, by the way, but thank you for putting your little bratty spin on it as usual.” he murmurs in your ear, and you snicker mischievously.
“you’re welcome.”
the responding growl he lets out in your ear sets your body alight with desire, and you curl back to get more comfortable in his embrace, trying to hide that some part of you is now craving more of his touch.
whether he sees your need or not, he meets it head on, pulling you closer until your ass is directly on his lap, his length stirring in its confines at the sudden stimulation. the sigh of contentment you let out sounds dangerously like a purr and it’s almost like it awakens something in Haechan, the male humming lowly in his chest, almost like a warning to you, and the message is clear—don’t push it.
but you love to push it. so much so that every time you or Haechan shift or move in any way, you subtly shift or roll your hips downward so you rut against him in the most agonizingly miniscule way possible. and it only takes about four or five of these before Haechan’s fingers are digging into your hips as yet another warning grunt sounds from his throat, your toes curling at the danger laced in the sound.
“what do you think you’re doing?” he murmurs in your ear slowly, carefully.
“getting comfortable.” you reply as innocently as possible. “why, are you not comfortable?”
“you could say that,” he grunts before—
“did you make it twitch like that?” you gasp softly, and he nods, grinning.
“it does other tricks too. wanna see?” he wiggles his brows and you gasp, smacking his chest and falling into laughter.
“you’re unwell.” you snicker, rolling your eyes.
“at least i tried to behave. you’re on straight demon time.” he grouches, and you shrug with a soft hum. “look at you—not even trying to deny it.”
“in my defense, you started it in the kitchen.”
“you started it when you said you dumped that schlep.”
“you started it when you said to get with you instead.”
“you started it when you walked in my life looking and talking all sweet like you do.” he snaps back, and you’re stunned into momentary silence, blinking rapidly as you try to come up with a response. “right.” he finishes with a know-it-all smirk, and you huff, frowning.
“it’s not my fault; I didn’t do it on purpose.” you complain, and he purses his lips in a sympathetic pout that mirrors your own before he chuckles and shakes his head in defeat.
“you’re right, baby, it’s not your fault. you’re too sweet for our own good.”
“our?”
“mine because I can’t help but want a little taste every time you’re nearby,” he purrs in your ear, and delight drips down your back, tingles and tremors following in its wake. “and yours because you’re gonna have to put up with me all over you,” he stresses the syllable so deliciously that your eyelids flutter, “just for being so damn sweet.” he finishes with a patronizing pout in his voice that both thrills and instills challenge in you.
“fuck,” you breathe out weakly, and you hear his grin before he laughs, teeth playfully nipping at your earlobe.
“you good?” he teases, and you narrow your eyes slightly in challenge before nodding resolutely.
“never better.” you reply back in a murmur.
“we’ll see about that,” he says in a half-grunt, half-chuckle. “you know I love a challenge.”
“do you, now?” you hum softly.
“mhm,” he sighs dreamily in your ear, fingers fluttering gently up and down your side, not to tickle but to tease. “love when my pretty girl gives me a hard time.”
“yeah?” you ask, half-goading him on, half-engrossed in the melodic, sultry cadence of his voice.
“yeah,” he agrees with a breathy chuckle. “makes it even better when I make you fall apart.” his voice shifting towards the end to a slight rasp, you breathe in sharply in surprise, and he licks his lips. “on my fingers… on my tongue… on my c–”
“say no more words right now!” you whisper-yell, eyes wide as you cover his mouth. “at once!” you urge when he pushes past your hand to speak, eyes bright and glinting with mischief. “you’re crazy for that.” you mutter, cheeks aglow with heat. he wiggles his brows at you playfully before he moves to speak again and you point a stern finger at him. “behave.”
he rolls his eyes but nods, prompting you to drop your hand from his mouth. “all I know is you loved that.”
“you don’t—what do you—how could you possibly know that?” you splutter, and he just shoots you a smug little grin in response. “say more words! right now!”
“it’s all in your eyes, baby. they never lie to me.” he informs you, and you balk, blinking rapidly to collect yourself. “the way they widen when I say something that shocks you, the little glint of excitement when it turns you on, and the way your eyes focus on my lips after—like you don’t even know you’re doing it.” he says slowly, speaking with clear lip movements. “like right now.”
you sit up straight in a huff and cross your arms, turning to face Jaemin and Jeno, who have thankfully taken up conversation amongst themselves in the meantime.
“hey, friends, what are we talking about over here?” you ask.
“Jeno got a delivery order just now and it’s from his little boo thing—ow!” Jaemin blurts out before Jeno smacks him on the arm.
“Boo thing? Jaemin, say more right now.” you press, and Jaemin rubs his arm while glowering at an equally sulky Jeno.
“Jeno’s totally into this girl; friend of a college friend, they work together, yadda, yadda. She always hits him up super late and they smoke some of the stash together and flirt it up—oh, shut up, there’s no way she’s not flirting, dumbass.” Jaemin elaborates.
“Yeah, it definitely sounds like she’s flirting.” you agree, and Jeno perks up hopefully.
“or she’s in it for free weed.” Haechan counters, and you turn and glower at him. “I’m just saying!”
“does she get free weed?” you ask Jeno, and he frowns slightly.
“she gets a discount.” he answers slowly, and Haechan groans while you and Jaemin nod encouragingly.
“that’s good! that’s promising,” you assure him. “do you guys talk about, like, regular stuff when you smoke?”
“well, it always starts out regular and then it gets deeper; I don’t know if it’s the weed or the fact that it’s at night or that I just feel so comfortable with her, but we start talking about the craziest, deepest shit.” Jeno sighs, and you coo fondly.
“that’s so sweet,” you lilt, and Haechan chuckles. “hush, you. Jeno, you should ask if she wants to hang out sometime. do the delivery tonight and ask her!”
“you think so?” Jeno says, eagerness creeping into his voice, and you nod encouragingly.
“definitely. when you guys get hungry, offer to take her somewhere to eat; your treat.” you suggest, and he nods slowly, eyes rapidly moving like he’s committing your words to memory.
“okay… okay. I got this.” he mutters nervously, quickly sending off a message in his phone before locking it and standing up, tucking his phone in his back pocket.
“good luck! let me know how it goes!” you cheer excitedly as he heads out the door and he shoots you a brief thumbs up as he grabs his jacket before the door shuts behind him.
“and then there were three.” Jaemin remarks slowly.
“then there were three.” you echo, and Haechan whistles awkwardly, only stopping with a wince when you pinch his leg.
“I can read the room; Haechan wants me to leave so you two can suck face and do all sorts of things I don’t want to think about because it would defile my memory of you both.” Jaemin sighs dramatically, and when you go to speak to comfort him, Haechan shushes you, gesturing for you to let him continue. “I just realized I need papers for my shit anyway, so maybe Jeno can give me a ride to the smoke shop where I get deals.”
“I’m sure Haechan has papers here—” you start.
“I have none; I’ll call Jeno right now and tell him to come get you.” Haechan interjects, his finger already pressing the dial button on Jeno’s contact page.
you look over at Jaemin, who has a knowing smirk on his face that lets you know that he’s very aware of what’s occurring right now, even if you previously weren’t.
“...okay, great. he’ll be out in a second.” Haechan finishes the call with Jeno and looks at Jaemin expectantly. “he’s downstairs.”
“thanks,” Jaemin chirps, waving goodnaturedly. “now you two can suck face without assaulting my eyes and getting a second strike.”
“thanks,” Haechan drawls with a roll of his eyes.
“good night, Jaemin.” you say sweetly, and he grins at you.
“have a good night,” he says in a playful lilt. as he’s exiting, he calls out, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” before the door shuts behind him.
“y’know what’s funny?” you chuckle, and Haechan hums distractedly but attentively enough to let you know he’s listening. “I don’t think there’s much Jaemin wouldn’t do.”
“yeah, he basically just told us to go crazy.” Haechan muses, and when you look over at him, he seriously looks like he’s considering it.
“don’t get any ideas?” you laugh incredulously, and his gaze shifts to you so slowly, predatory, almost, that a chill runs down your spine in a deliciously tingling sensation.
“can’t help it. we’re all alone, finally… and you look as good as you do… and you’re all pretty sitting here on my lap… I could just do this,” he murmurs, tilting your chin down to ghost his lips against yours. “or this,” he hums, dotting soft kisses down your jaw to your neck.
you sigh, content, and tilt your head to allow him better access. he wastes no time kissing as much of your neck as you’ve revealed to him, lips reverently tracing patterns over your skin that his tongue brings to life.
“what if I did this?” he murmurs, one hand moving to your lap to slip between your thighs, and he chuckles when your knees shift to part instantly, his fingers venturing further to stroke at the dampening seat of your tights and underwear. “you know something?”
“hm?” your voice barely squeaks out in time, but you need to hear him speak, so you persist until it does.
“I love when you’re a little challenge for me,” he muses softly, fingers rhythmically stroking against the seat of your tights. “but I love just as much when my pretty baby just offers herself to me.”
your breathing quickens when you look up at him to see he’s already watching you, eyes intense and fixated on your expression.
“so difficult to get ahold of, so tricky to pin down, but when you finally give in just a bit and give me a little taste?” he pauses, looking down at the space between your bodies and, when you follow his gaze, you’re surprised to see your hand clutching at his shirt to pull him closer, the body part seemingly having acted on its own. you look up from your hand to meet his gaze at the same time that he looks up at you, and the fire blazing in his eyes has a heat of your own brewing in your cheeks.
he leans closer, head tilting slowly to the side, lips gently parting to whisper, “why would I ever stop?” before your lips connect. a small whimper of relief sounds out when your lips part to take his tongue between them, the muscle stroking into your mouth gently and playfully with lingering flicks and pulling back to trace and lick at your bottom lip. he groans, the sound laced with desire, and pulls you to him, gripping you firmly enough to maneuver you so that you’re straddling his lap, and his hands drop down to where your ass and your thighs meet, cupping the flesh there and kneading with an intentionality bred from reverence.
he pulls you back down for a kiss by yanking your body forward, letting you topple clumsily onto his waiting lips, the both of you giggling on impact, but his hands move up your body slowly to caress your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks fondly as he deepens the kiss, a soft sigh leaving him as his fingers curl at the back of your neck and pull you closer to him, his lips devouring every moan and whimper that you let out with insatiable greed, an almost blinding need to consume, to indulge in the taste of you.
you let him indulge, of course, and you do so happily, as every kiss, every breath he steals from you adds fuel to the flame burning bright in your belly. he pulls you in endlessly, even when you think you might not be able to breathe—his kisses are ensnaring, all-consuming, mind, body, spirit, and you’re wound up helplessly at his mercy, but you can’t say you mind.
he’s just begun kissing down your neck when a moment of clarity hits you, and you have to make something clear.
“I just realized something.” you say, sitting up and looking at Haechan. with his desire-driven dizzy expression, it almost breaks your heart to shift his gears like that, but he recovers quickly, blinking several times before speaking.
“shoot.” his voice is bordering on husky, unused from the time spent kissing, and almost too arousing to continue with the initial line of questioning.
“you said it was lame that Jeno gave his boo thing a discount on weed.”
“I did, yes.” he says, nodding.
“but, Haechan… you gave me free weed. literally every time.”
“well, yeah, but guys typically aren’t supposed to be that down bad in the plug industry. it could have been really bad for business so it was actually a personal testament to how whipped I am for you.” he explains casually, and you can’t help but giggle, tickled by his candor.
“as well as to my personal integrity that I didn’t take advantage of the free weed or the adorable bleeding heart that came with it, free of charge.” you reply playfully, and he laughs, nodding before his gaze drops to your lips and he wets his own slowly, leaning in just a bit closer.
“aren’t you just the sweetest?” he muses.
“you know I am,” you reply, feigning confusion. “why even ask me that?”
“mm, maybe I need a little reminder,” he murmurs, hands moving to your hips and repositioning you faster than you can process; one moment you were on his lap, and the next, your back is against the arm of the couch, your legs are splayed apart on the cushions, and Haechan is seated perfectly between your knees.
“oh, shit.” you mumble, dazed, and he lets out a low chuckle as he gazes up at you.
“why don’t we get these out of the way, hm? as sexy as they are, I think you’d hate if I ripped them.” Haechan says, pinching at your decorative fishnet tights, and you snicker with a nod.
“I would definitely hate that.” you agree, shifting to lift your hips, and Haechan pulls them down and off, turning the fabric over in his fingers curiously.
“you sure? I think they’d look kinda sick.” he remarks thoughtfully, and you suck your teeth in amusement and mild impatience.
“we can play Fashion Designer later,” you say with a patronizing pat on his cheek, and his eyelids flutter closed before they reopen to reveal his darkened gaze trained intently on you.
“I think we’ll be busy later.” he dismisses you offhandedly and settles onto his stomach, tucking your thighs over his shoulders.
“busy doing wha—oh.” you ask, voice cutting off into a gasp as his tongue swipes over your puffy lips through the thin fabric of your underwear.
“guess.” his reply is throaty but clear all the same, all authoritative, barely any teasing lilt; this was no playful remark—it was an order. his lips attach themselves to your clit through the fabric, sucking and kissing and nipping, and your moan catches in your throat, a choked gasp emitting from you instead as his tongue enters the mix, swirling and flicking at the perking button.
“shit, Haechan—” you swear under your breath in surprise, propping yourself up on your forearms to watch him better.
“yeah, you like that, baby?” he grunts, looking up at you before flicking at your clit rapidly with his tongue and laughing wickedly when you cry out. “mm, yeah? feels good when I flick it like that?”
“yeah,” you whimper, and he grins.
“I should do that again, then, huh?” he muses, and before you know it, he’s pinning you down to the couch with a forearm braced over your hips and his tongue is ravishing your core, effortlessly teasing and touching your clit so much through the thoroughly damp fabric of your underwear that a climax bubbles in your abdomen surprisingly quickly.
“holy–I think I’m close,” you gasp out in a warning, and he looks up at you, eyes alight with desire.
“come on, baby.” he urges you gently before returning his mouth to your core with a muffled, “I know you wanna.”
with your climax building to a crescendo of ocean waves in your ears, you let go, the dam bursting, the coil springing loose—and Haechan rides with you through every wave, every undulation of ecstasy, mouth held fast on your core and tongue flicking so rapidly, so incessantly, that you barely get a moment of reprieve. it’s not until you’re shoving him off with a shudder of overstimulation that you get a second to breathe, throwing an arm over your face and sucking in large gulps of air.
in your recovery, you fail to notice Haechan gently—or surreptitiously—lifting your hips to pull your underwear, now soiled with arousal and spit, off of your legs and drop them beside you two on the floor. it takes Haechan kissing up from your inner knee to your core once more and feeling the unhindered warmth of his breath on your slick folds to realize the layer’s been removed, and by then, Haechan’s mouth is exploring your bare core and you can’t seem to think about much else.
“fuck—Haechan, not there—!” you cry out as he teases your clit again with the tip of his tongue.
“mm, no? thought you liked that,” he mumbles back cheekily, words muffled with a mouthful of you.
“not right now!” you half-whisper, half-shudder, and he laughs.
“want more gentle?” he hums patronizingly sweetly, and you nod. he stops flicking at your clit and lies his tongue flat on your clit, gently rolling it around and massaging it.
you let out a shaky sigh of relief and nod in approval, the tensing in your abdomen lessening somewhat. his tongue keeps massaging at your clit, taking small breaks to drag up and down your folds with heavy, wet strokes, keeping your core slick with a mix of your arousal and his saliva, and to top it all off, he’s groaning and moaning into your folds like he’s getting closer to cumming than you are from all of this.
slowly, your body gets accustomed to the pleasure and starts to match his rhythm, your hips rolling down just as Haechan’s tongue pushes up to make a kaleidoscopic burst of pleasure streamline through your body. “that’s it, baby,” he urges you. “ride my tongue, pretty girl.”
“fuck, baby, I’m gonna—again—” you gasp out, and he nods eagerly, arms locking around your thighs in preparation.
“that’s what I want, baby, give it to me.” he grunts, and a crescendo of breathy moans and desperate pants fills the room as your next high builds to a peak. “fuck, all of it, baby, keep going—” he urges you, coaxes more from you as your hips lift off of the couch and your fingers curl around the nearest pillow. “don’t hold back—”
“can’t—”
“don’t say that, baby, you can give me a little more—”
“can’t—”
“yes, you can—”
and it’s not long after when you tap out, but it is after your body slumps to your legs dangling off of the couch haphazardly as Haechan shifts to his knees on the floor to continue.
and it is shortly after you proceed to release all over Haechan’s tongue in a gush of arousal (which Haechan will later proudly coin “your first squirt”).
your body lies immobile, legs slumped and chest heaving as Haechan licks his lips slowly, indulgently, and far too sinfully for you to lay eyes on without having to look away.
“think you can give me one more?” he asks hopefully, but the way his brow raises in challenge as he palms at his length tells you he fully intends to find out.
“yeah, I can,” you exhale slowly, a breathless laugh leaving you as you push yourself up to prepare yourself for the next round. you stop when you realize Haechan’s staring at you with a shy-bubbly-feeling of awe and admiration that makes you falter, looking at him in confusion “why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m trying to figure out if it’s too early to say I love you.” he admits plainly, and you gasp in surprise, eyes widening. “too soon?”
“Haechan—we didn’t even start dating—” you can’t help but laugh, the dizzying post-climax high making it all funnier than it is.
“I’ve known you well before we started dating, though,” he points out in a huff, and you pause, your brain struggling to process his words fast enough to respond.
“baby, we haven’t actually started dating, though.” you say gently. “I told you I might say yes if you asked me better than the first time you half-asked, half-assumed.”
“well, damn.” he frowns. “I don’t take it back, though. I meant it and I’ll say it again when I think you’re ready to hear it.”
“that’s a good plan,” you assure him, and you pull him down to face level to press a kiss to his forehead. when you release him, his cheeks are a lovely shade of red, and a sweetly dumbfounded look is on his face. “you’re so cute when you blush.” you say fondly, and he rolls his eyes with a scoff that fails to hide his bashful laugh.
“don’t call me cute, I just made you squirt.” he mumbles petulantly, and you barely stifle your chuckle in time.
“my bad,” you concede, hands up in surrender. “I’m excited to say it back one day.” you say sincerely, and he blinks at you, momentarily stunned. “what?”
“you can’t just say things like that,” he mutters under his breath as he pulls you closer, lower bodies entwining eagerly as his tip meets your folds and, with gentle probing, your arousal-slicked entrance. “fuck, you’re gonna be the death of me.”
“that’s rich coming from the guy who just dropped the L bomb real early in the almost-a-relationship stage.”
“I can’t wait to wipe that little smirk off your face,” he groans with a little growl of frustration that has you fluttering internally.
“yeah?” you taunt him, and he chuckles, locking his eyes on you as he slowly pushes into you, a wicked grin on his face as your jaw drops open and you gasp loudly.
he leans over you, lips pressed to your ear to grunt, “yeah,” with all the smug confidence and audacity of someone who just proved their point. “now be good and take this dick, alright?”
“uh-huh—” you manage to get out as he builds up a rhythm of deep, fluid strokes into you.
“that’s right,” he coos sweetly, chuckling darkly. “just take it.” his thrusts speed up slightly until his hips are slapping against yours at a rapid pace that has your head spinning with each inward thrust, and all you can do is hold on for dear life.
his hands roughly jerk up your body, shoving your shirt out of the way to reveal your breasts and he groans at the sight of them in your lacy black bra. “god, I love these,” he grunts, thrusts slowing as he lowers his head to shower the swell of your breasts and your cleavage in heated, sloppy kisses.
you hum softly, pleasantly surprised by the attention. “they love you, too.” you say playfully, and he looks up at you with a brow raised.
“yeah?” he asks, and by the way his chest starts to rise and fall deeper and more heavily, you suspect your comment was far from innocuous and playful to him.
“mhm,” you say with a small nod, and his eyes flash with something that stirs excitement in your belly.
“then maybe I should give ‘em a kiss, don’t you think?” his voice is almost husky with desire, and you’re momentarily stunned into silence by how quickly his words stir something in your core, your walls clenching around him so forcefully that he hisses in surprise before chuckling darkly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
he pulls your breasts out of the cups and immediately latches onto one nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud slowly while looking up at you with an intent gaze. you whimper softly and shift under him, and his free hand finds your clit, starting to toy with the button as he sucks and licks at your breasts.
even through the occasional jolts of sensitivity when Haechan’s fingers hit your clit just the too-familiar way from a couple of minutes ago, you feel more pleasure building in your abdomen and tensing throughout your body. his tongue laps and flicks at your nipples in the most ravenous, lewd way and something about his raw unbridled attraction to you has you at the edge before you expect it.
“oh, shit, I’m close—” you whisper, surprised, and he chuckles, following after you as you reflexively start to shy away from his touch.
“where you going, baby? don’t you wanna cum?” he teases, body pinning yours in place as you cry out weakly as the pleasure builds.
“yes, but—” you start to babble, but Haechan kisses you, lips stealing the words from your mouth and distracting your mind completely.
“before I make you cum, answer this for me,” he proposes, and at your sound of coherent confusion, he looks you directly in the eyes and says, “will you be my girlfriend?”
your jaw drops, and your eyes widen, your brain blanking so suddenly that words completely fail you, a giddy smile overtaking your face as you nod eagerly.
“yeah?” he says with a grin, fingers still working at your clit in that mind-melting manner that makes it hard for you to string words into proper sentences. “need to hear you say it, baby.”
“yes,” you gush immediately, and he nods encouragingly, still looking at you expectantly. “yes, I’ll be your girlfriend.”
“again,” he insists, “just the ‘yes,’ part.”
“yes,” you cry out when his lips latch onto your neck. “yes, yes, yes, right there, yes—”
“you’re mine?”
“yes—”
“all mine?”
“yes, fuck, fuck—!”
“you gonna cum all over my fingers?”
“mm—fuck—yes—shit, I’m gonna—”
“cum, baby, let it go.” he urges you as you fall apart around him, body melting into a puddle of pleasure that he continues to lap at like you’re made of ambrosia and nectar. dotting kisses up from your belly button to your chest to your neck and jaw and then, persisting past a very ticklish giggle from you, your ear.
“stop—it tickles—” you attempt to squirm away, but he holds you in place with a low chuckle that has your toes curling.
“yeah, but it feels good, doesn’t it?” he teases before flicking his tongue over your ear. you squeal and wriggle away to the best of your ability, but he holds your jaw in place and brings his lips to your ear before starting to resume slow strokes into you. “I know it does,” he coos teasingly.
“shut up, fuck—” you cry out, and he laughs, trailing his tongue along the shell of your ear. “a fucking menace.”
“takes one to know one.” he retorts, and you gasp, surprised but amused. “you’re my menace and I’m yours.”
“mm, I like the way that sounds.” you coo sweetly, and he groans, his head tipping forward to rest on your shoulder. “you’re mine, and I’m yours.”
“fuck, say that again.” he all but whimpers, and you nod immediately.
“you’re all mine, and I’m all yours.” you say slowly so he can hear every syllable, and his thrusts speed up inside of you as he starts to chase his high. “you can fill me up, baby,” you assure him, and he lets out a choked cry of pleasure before biting down on your neck and pistoning his hips into yours quicker.
“shit—fuck, you’re perfect—shit—gonna fill you up, baby—” he groans, and you nod encouragingly, tracing patterns on his back with your nails.
“mhm,” you hum sweetly, “it’s okay, baby, go ahead.” his thrusts slowly come to a stop as he stiffens inside your walls and releases into you. his mouth finally seems to remember what to do, teeth releasing your skin and instead pressing loving kisses along your neck and shoulder.
“y’know something?” Haechan mumbles against your skin. “if Jeno and Jaemin got girlfriends, maybe they wouldn’t be so miserable and up our asses all the time.”
“Haechan!” you laugh, surprised. “why would you say that?”
“because now that you’re my girlfriend, I can’t imagine ever wanting to be a dick again.” he admits, and you burst out laughing.
“so, before we started dating—”
“I was voluntarily a dick at times to people, yes.” he nods, and you laugh harder, pushing at his chest to let you up for air. “I was yearning, it’s not my fault!”
“everyone knows you can’t be held legally reprehensible for anything that occurs while yearning.” you say matter-of-factly, and Haechan looks at you with wonder in his eyes. “what?”
“you make me sound smart.” he says happily. “you’re so hot and I’m the luckiest boyfriend in the world.”
“either you’re lovebombing me or I just stumbled into the best relationship of my life.” you chuckle, and he grins.
“definitely the second one.” he agrees, and you smile widely as you meet his lips for a kiss.
—
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yn wakes up next to a baby that looks suspiciously like her boyfriend
s_fw, wc1286. crack. i couldn’t help myself!!! it’s so cute tho sorry
You wake up to the feeling of someone brushing your nose.
It’s featherlight and soft, tender in a way your boyfriend typically isn’t, and it causes you to sleepily smile as you cuddle into your pillow. “Haechan, baby. Isn’t it early?”
He doesn’t reply beyond another small touch, one you can only assume is his pinky across your cheek. You manage a few more minutes of sleep before you hear the gabbering of a baby. It’s so close that it jolts you awake, causing you to sit up instantly.
There is a baby next you, small and cute as he blinks at you. He pushes himself up, too, crawling closer as your mouth opens in wordless surprise.
“Wha— Haechan! Why—!”
It’s only then that you realize that you’re very, very alone in your boyfriend’s studio apartment. It’s just you and a baby. A baby wearing your boyfriend’s pajamas. A baby that looks like your boyfriend.
“D-Donghyuck?”
He blinks at you again, curiously this time, very obviously recognizing his own name, and you can’t help the laugh of disbelief that comes out of you. This absolutely can not be happening!
“I told you” —you point your finger at him— “I told you, baby. I told you to stop buying spells off of witches on Etsy or else something bad would happen!”
He frowns, eyes moving from your face to your hand before he reaches forward and wraps his little fist around your finger. At your sound of surprise he offers you the sweetest smile.
“This can’t be happening.” You say, resisting the urge to swoon over the way he drags your finger to his mouth. “Oh my god. What the hell am I supposed to do with you?”
He bites you, causing you to jerk your hand out of his grip, and he looks at you in surprise before falling backwards into the bed and starting to cry.
“Oh my god,” you say again, leaning over to see genuine tears in his eyes. “You’ve gotta be kidding me, Haechan. You did this to yourself and now you’re crying. I should be crying!” You scoop him up in your arms and sit back against the head board. “My boyfriend is a baby. A baby with a big ass head, at that.”
You begin to laugh, holding him to your chest and patting his back as he continues to cry. “I know, I know. I shouldn’t have pulled away from you, right, baby?” You question, hoping you sound soothing. “But, you bit me. And not even in a cute way. You’ve got a few teeth coming in, bud.
“And, I’m in shock, you know? It’s not everyday that you wake up and realize your boyfriend is a big-head baby.”
You begin to laugh again, smiling when he looks up at you. “Ohhkay, ohhkay,” you coo, wiping his tears away. “None of that, yeah? We’re in this together. Just like everything else.”
Baby-Haechan sniffles and rubs his face into your chest, his little fist gripping your t-shirt like a lifeline. It’s sickeningly cute.
“How old are you, anyway?” You ask, trying to remember photos of him you’ve seen at his family home. “You have to be nearly one, right?” You pat around on the bed for your phone, holding it out of his reach when he tries to grab it. “Chill, babe. You need diapers. And clothes. Jeez, and formula. This is crazy.”
You take a gamble on the sizes before choosing same day delivery. Before you set your phone to the side, you slide your thumb across the screen to open the camera and take a few selfies, laughing at the way his head looks extra big on camera.
“You’re never going to believe this…we were supposed to meet Mark for lunch, you know? What are we supposed to do now, huh? I suppose we could still go…but I can’t take a baby to a bar.” You swipe out a quick text to Mark telling him to meet you at poppop instead of BOOM before securing his t-shirt around him as a makeshift onsie and dragging yourself and baby-Haechan out of bed.
“Breakfast first. Right, lovie?”
He responds in garbled baby talk as you somehow manage to make you both some porridge and mash a banana for him without putting him down. You eat in bed, within the walls of a makeshift pillow fort and talk him through it until the bell rings.
“And you’ve been so good for me, hmm?” You ask him as you grab the bags from outside the door and drop them unceremoniously on his couch. “Let’s get a diaper on you. Ha. I cannot wait to tease you about this, baby.”
You quickly get his shirt off and wipe him down with a washcloth before getting him squared away. “Look at this tummy, huh? What a chunky boy…” Despite the fact that you’re completely disturbed by your boyfriend turning into a baby, you can’t help but zerbert him before picking him up off the floor as you share a laugh.
“So tubsy and cute. Oh my god— is it child abuse if I bite you?”
He only giggles in response, rubbing his face into your chest sweetly.
“Sleepy?” You ask as you get comfortable on the couch and turn on the television. He curls into you, arms folding under him and fist once again gripping your shirt as you begin to rub his back. “That’s ok, lovie. I’ve got you…”
“Hey Mark.” You pull him into a hug, ignoring the way he stares wide eyed at baby-Haechan. It isn’t too far off from his normal gaze, anyway. “Sorry we’re late. Especially after changing the spot. We’re going through it this morning.”
“It’s…fine?” He leans closer, looking his friend in the eye and laughing nervously as he seems to realize that the baby is, in fact, Lee Haechan. “Oh my god. Yn-noona.”
Baby-Haechan reaches for Mark. “Oh, thank god he recognizes you,” you say, all but shoving him into his arms. “I haven’t been able to put him down since I got him dressed. I guess it’s fair, he’s so little and probably confused. But, shit, so am I, you know?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And, he weighs a ton. I’m not built for this. Also, don’t ask because I don’t know. Well, aside from, y’know—”
“CIA code or Etsy witch?”
“He got a package yesterday so my bet is the latter. We woke up like this, though. I assume the spell will wear off in 24 hours. That’s how it works in movies, right?”
“…right.” Mark laughs, letting baby-Haechan touch his face as you walk into the restaurant. The hostess walks you all to your table and Mark gets baby-Haechan settled nicely into his high chair.
“Wait until you see him eat. He does the little head shake thing. It’s so stinking cute.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
You draw your fingers through his hair, ruffling it a bit when he offers you a smile. “Why are you calling him an it? He’s a baby not an object.”
“The” —Mark glances around before leaning in and whispering— “spell.”
“If it doesn't, what?”
“Wear off…”
Oh. You pull the high chair closer once he looks as though he’s going to start fussing. He takes your hand, his little fist wrapping anxiously around your finger as he looks at Mark and glances around before looking at you. “It’s ok, baby. Mark-hyung is just being an alarmist—”
“Yooo,” he laughs. “That’s crazy, noona. This is crazy.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” You stroke your thumb over the back of baby-Haechan’s hand before cooing at him. “Can you say alarmist?”
(He is, in fact, not back to normal the next morning.)
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