ghosten's dark isle

[ghostenbrooch]

mid-exam thoughts: about growth

Give yourself time. Something you should tell yourself daily, every morning or evening, when you can't control things you want controlled.

Growth takes time. Consistency is key, that's what everyone says, but how consistent? I worry that if I don't do enough, I will never grow, and I worry how much is even enough––is the current progress "enough"?

These problems arise not more than once. For me, it was from last year, hoping that my essays get better and they return, marked, with an average 60. Well, that's not too bad, but it wasn't enough.

The easiest way to tackle with it is to observe. Write journals, keep up with what you have done, retrospectively judging the things you did in a day––how much time spent on social medias and on studying, what you understood from your study sessions, new methods of studying? Or perhaps new note-taking methods. Or just plainly your feelings. Actively observe yourself, your tendencies and motivation "triggers".

Sometimes days pass without anything done. You might too, but never judge yourself on that. Improve, give yourself chances, don't scold yourself. It demotivates you. You don't learn from "pain", you learn from "belief". It was a major mindset change, now that I reach the second final paper.

Saying, "You can do more if you want to," was better than saying, "You should've done more."

But it's true. Everyone can do more if he wants to, a desire that's supplemented by a belief and faith in one's capabilities. That's really what matters.

Now that I think about it, yes, I did grow. From the point I started my degree, until now, my writing definitely got better. I know it. I keep my written essays somewhere and once in a while I compare them. After you know what you did at two points in time, measure the time you took to grow from that point to this. Well, it was long for me––it took a good six months to get to a better but not perfect stage.

Was it enough then?

Of course not. I know what I have not been doing, and the reason I took so long to improve was the inaction, the inconsistency, and the slacking-off.

I start from this point, now, and keep track again. I'm striving to improve. I know how to do it now, it's just a matter of time.

ghosten xx

[ghostenbrooch]

how to even read a public law textbook

I need to write this down. I'm so frustrated that I want to have a set of rules, written down, to keep myself on track. And I'm so fed up with all the Youtube videos that tell me how to read actively.

––especially when they say, "SKIM."

I'mma skin you instead.

Questioning.

Usually, at the beginning of a chapter, objectives (or subheadings) are written down. If you have your lecture notes and know generally what you're dealing with, write questions that you don't know about those topics. (Make it into a small list.)

e.g.: when textbook gives a rule or doctrine, ask, "Is it useful? How is it effective?"

But if you are reading before your classes, ask questions on "What is this?" or "how does this work?"

2. Now read.

Read, as fast as you can, you don't want to drag because you might lose your interest. Especially for a dry subject like public law. Hell naw I'm lingering on every word.

3. Set timers.

Breaks, timers, Pomodoro, 10-hour ultra-focus, you get me. Use the way that's most suitable for you. Be efficient. Know your ways.

4. Write a report.

Limit yourself to one page on Word, or 200 words, to write a summary containing all the important points that answer the questions you've listed out in the beginning.

Extra tip from Letters to A Law Student, be aggressive. This is my aggressive questions before reading an article.

"What the point of it all? Oh, yeah, he argued for this? Okay, why? What does he wanna prove? Okay, does he even prove it? He does? How does he prove it then?"

I have not figured out a way to be "critical" yet. Now, all I need is for me to retain the information (which are the basics) before I can even THINK ON MY OWN.

(slightly frustrated and angry, that's all. Hope this helped anyone who's taking a look.)

Kudos to those actually taking a look :'>

[ghostenbrooch]

the definition of my life

It does not consist of just "studies."

That is the sole point of me writing this.

My life can consist of a lot of things. I read books, I draw and paint, I have friends, I have family, I study a new language and write fiction. I have things yet to be done, like finishing the book of philosophy, or becoming a journalist. I can be a lawyer – in fact, I want to be good at lawyering, but that does not mean I want to throw away my other ambitions and goals in life.

Whoever reading this should know too. Take breaks, breathe, do something you love, and then come back to study. Don't let studying turn you into a machine that lacks meaning.

[ghostenbrooch]

positivity and a calm mental state

Breathing in and out for one minute doesn't calm a person if the person does not want to be calm in the first place. If you don't want to, nothing you do works.

Reading has pained me before. Being good sort of became a burden, but a burden I so willingly took upon my shoulders, on which forced my own slavery. It was trudging in mud, towing on an infertile ground.

I decided then, as the world quietened down after classes ended, to find an answer. I stayed at home, occasional cookings and preparing food for my family and rest made me think a lot. My ways were never wrong––as opposed to what I think when I get influenced by the outside world, i.e. my friends and lecturers––my study method has always been so. I tried changing it, no matter how many times I tried telling myself it wouldn't be too bad for me if I stuck to it until my graduation.

If you can't dissolve in water, try dissolving in ethanol. (No elaborations, because I forgot how I came up with this sentence, I place it here merely because it sounds witty... and nerdy.)

I have my materials, textbooks and guides. One of them is a book called Legal Writing Skills by Steve Foster. It has a lot of examples, near-distinction essays with notes for improvement. After reading those, I knew that I had to start with the basics before I could proceed to the next level, to become on the level of "good" I always wanted. The basic would always be a textbook. Research comes last, a week before an exam. That's when you summarise all the notes––a second revision of everything. Articles should be read perhaps two weeks before an exam, along with case judgements. Every chapter has one "key case," which is the most important case you should look into. (In my lecture handouts, they do provide that.)

Dwelling on envious thoughts will not help me. Thinking about new methods won't help. Asking the provost students on "studying tips" won't help either. It's all about myself, and how I make use of my own brain. No one will answer my question because I don't even understand what I don't understand. When I understand it, I no longer need to ask. It's funny, question-asking seems to be an art on its own. Asking the right question, that is.

Set a timer, drink some water, play some music that makes you feel at ease, and get to work. It is only the fourth day of the fourth month. Twenty three days left to go. Be the best version of yourself now, be the "good" you dream of, because no one is going to take you there except yourself.

regards,

ghosten xx

P.S. to anyone out there who has their finals coming up, good luck to you <3

[ghostenbrooch]

a month before finals, motivation?

sometimes when I feel burdened by the thought of exams, I would just stop in my tracks, a short moment, and I'd wonder, "What's the point of exams?" Most of the time, I'll get answers such as, it's there to test your abilities and understanding of the subject. It is then possible for me to switch from "studying to get higher grades" to "understanding".

I have a strange inclination to tweak the structure of a sentence until it is perfect. Perfectionism. It sometimes become so unbearable that I forget how to write. All the "perfect sentences" come to my mind to tell me I'm wrong. It is like an addiction to style; I restrict myself just so I can write with "clarity." I do not know how to change that, except for restraining it, holding it back when I am trying to write something.

Studying is not supposed to be a difficult thing. In fact, it is perhaps the easiest step to doing anything in general. You have guides, lecturers, books, to tell you what to do––but why is it so difficult for you?

That, perhaps, represents most parents' ideas about our studies.

Methods matter, then, if we want it to be not difficult. What is "understanding"? How do you know whether you understood something?

1. Short notes.

I usually take a very long time getting through the first reading, either with my textbook or journal articles. Sometimes it becomes dull, and the words run through my mind without staying. So, I'd advice myself to read while taking very short notes.

It may look like a mind map with only several words to guide the mind, or using several flashcards to note down the important terms or rules or cases. For me, I have not found the most efficient way of taking short notes because the more notes I write, the easier I forget. I'd think, "Oh, I wrote it down," and dwell in the feeling of security as I move on. So I forget. However, without notes, the chunk of text would be too overwhelming and when I forget, it would be the literal death of me.

Notes are important, but finding the right way of taking notes that suits you is even more so.

2. Write paragraphs.

When it requires critical analysis, better start practising with short paragraphs. Take a question and dissect it into perhaps five parts, for each part, try to fit 200 words in on your own opinions before searching for other sources and materials (like articles and commentaries). Or you may try to fit in 500 words at first try, combining what you've researched and what you understood.

3. Refresh memory in your sleep (um)

This is something I am trying to do, well, not literally. Basically, it is to go through the notes and cases before you sleep, and pray that you dream of yourself studying again and again the things you just read. Jokes aside, I think I've seen somewhere that this is one way to boost your memory on certain topics.

Once again, these methods may not be useful for some people. Truth be told, it probably won't be effective for me in a few months. (Hopefully not.)

Today marks the end of March and the end of the second term. All presentations and school work done, it's time to get into extensive studying.

regards,

ghosten xx

P.S. Covid, I'm warning you, leave me alone.

[ghostenbrooch]

compilation of advice given by my tutor

i) be consistent

When you do it, do it every day. It does not matter if you study for two hours, or three, or four––you get the idea––it just has to be a daily thing. Come back every day to do that task, no excuses. Of course, in those hours that you spend, you have to invest 100% of your concentration. Do not be distracted. Set a timer. Switch on the airplane mode.

ii) start from past year papers (method limited to pre-examination revisions)

Make notes, not from textbooks, but from the past year papers. Analyse questions, put down what you know about the topic, then research enough resources to support your answer.

After you have all the materials, try writing the essay. You may submit it physically to the lecturer so he or she could give you some comments about your answer.

iii) balance in life

Make sure your life is not just about studying. It is also about making relationships with people and ensuring a healthy mind and body. Allow yourself break times; little gifts to reward yourself after a one-hour studying session, grab some ice-cream from the nearby convenience store; watch a movie after a long weekend, go out with your friends to have lunch.

iv) group studies

If you are a person who cannot concentrate for long hours, have group studies. Decide on what to research on beforehand with your friends, then decide on a date for the group meeting, and do the research. Split the workload between the members. For example, A student is better or more interested in theories by A.V. Dicey, he could research that part. Then in the group study, each person will present their findings.

note to self: I find this way interesting as I am actually a "listener," meaning that I study better with my ears, but I can't find a "group" that can actually fit in group studies in their schedule.

v) note-taking methods

Take notes in the form of "skeletons." Draw diagrams. Use colour. Draw out what you have studied, what you already know. There can be boxes drawn, where short summaries are given of different cases (or judgements), articles, or key principles.

Note-taking is one thing, memorising or keeping it fresh in your mind is another. Always refresh the memory by reading through your notes. That is why the notes have to be short and succinct, like a "skeleton" of the topic.

vi) miscellaneous on research

For a topic, find two to three journal articles for further reading, take notes, make summaries of those journals. As mentioned, always refresh the memory. What is important about research is that it grants you a more in-depth overview of the subject matter. Narrow down your topics by first starting with an article that is wider in its scope, then choose the next article according to the subsections in the first article. (It is optional, as it depends on what your topic of research is.)

note to self: strictly follow these methods because your own methods suck.

[ghostenbrooch]

"Make your notes in the form of a story."

My father said that.

"Narrate a legal person's life, be it a lawyer's or a judge's. Resources you use should only be the law that you're studying. Put judgements, cases, and interesting theories in it, as spoken by this protagonist of yours."

I pondered on the fact that I am a complicated person who complicates every single plot I've ever thought of, but I kept those thoughts to myself.

So, my father continued, "The greatest people, the geniuses, ever existed on earth have their own ways of memorising things. Even with the great athletes, their methods are unique and probably start from storytelling too. And here you are, a fiction writer. You must take advantage of what you do best."

[ghostenbrooch]

first day? first post?

no reason. no questions, no answers.

I don't decide those. I only decide what my eyes can see, and what my eyes see is cluelessness. I am needing a space, free of constraints in terms of language, and free of peers.

I want no rules. I am a person who nitpicks on the style, the language, and strives for excellency –– to the extent I wander from the real purpose of writing.

For the time being, I keep track, jot down some notes, think about life and philosophy, talk about bad coffee, and if you, whoever reads this blog, find it helpful or interesting, you're welcome to stay.

stay safe,

xx ghosten