there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

titsay

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@ghostie-gang
there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you
my evil chalice came in but its so fucking small. goddamnit. they're going to make fun of me at the wizards circle tonight
loser
FUUUUUUUCK !!
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
Yes, come on in!
Yes, yes, come in to my cabin, watch your step please.
You Have A Lovely Hombe
Thank you, Horace. Sit, make yourself at hombe. Or would you like to play a game of Billiards in my special room over here?
Oh I Just Love To Play Balls
We’ll get along splendidly, then.
Some wine?
Oh Enough Chit-Chat And Lets Talk Creams.
Well I Just Love Creams. Well They Taste Good. And. Oh The Texture An-
…
*Shrnf…*
Smells Of Steel.
*All pretense and friendly affect is dropped, eyes fixing coldly on the boar*
*Advances*
Well I Simply Knew All A Long
*And Horace Delivers A Series Of Funny Kicks And Rageful SMACKS To The Assailant’s Solar Plexus And Hip Bones*
AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! DEFL…AAAA…a.aa….aaating….
Hm Hm Hm That Aought To Teach You Scoundrel
*Horace Turns His Handsome Snout To Face YOU*
Rememboar: Dont Go In A Strangor’s House Or Something I Forget
if you're not 26 years old right now you will be soon
you think you’re going to have a normal field trip and she shows up wyd (cw *slight* flashing images)
✦ find me on instagram @the.flightless.artist ✦
[image description:
Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus series, holding her pet lizard, Liz. Her dress cycles between different patterns: a desert scene with cacti with heavy oranges and a moon in a purple sky; a pond with lily pads and dragon flies (in a teal-green theme); a beach scene of sand with some encroaching cerulean waves and scattered crabs and shells; a bunch of different species of beetles on a field of green; various microorganisms including cells and neurons on a golden yellow background; a sky that is stormy near the hem of the dress, breaks into a rainbow, then clears into a sunny sky near the neck; and a space vista on an inky background including stars / suns, moons, and a planet with rings.
/ end image description]
no no i think it’s extremely cool that you brought your 90 pound working breed with you to this breakfast restaurant while you get atlanta drunk at 11:30am
Poor girl broke her favorite sitting basket.
I’m sorry but this is the funniest thing I have ever seen ever in my fucking life her PEETS are STICKING OUT
the way ppl talk about latinas is kind of very gross if I'm being honest
they're like reverse Asians bro they're all stacked and they're fiery mamacitas who you can break like a horse and make into domestic servants who love family
"bro I need a big booty latina" bro I need you to kill yourself
what a privilege it is to come home to a little animal that loves you like you're their whole world.
Pointe Skirt by Darinika Atelier
nurse: doctor... the patient is flatlining... we dont have nearly enough yuri to sustain them!
doctor: tch... i guess theres no choice...!!
*doctor pulls in nurse for a tender embrace and a beat passes before they kiss passionately*
*pulse starts again*
nurse: i cant believe it...! doctor youve saved yet another patient through your unorthodox methods!
doctor, looking out the window to avoid the nurse's adoring gaze: suppose i have...
doctor, thinking: sigh... will i ever get to approach her not out of obligation but out of ...love...;!
nurse, thinking: i hope she doesnt realize ive been manufacturing the yuri shortage to engineer these kinds of scenarios
moral of the story: the doctor was a woman
Get real.
tumblr glitched while loading this, so instead of "dude get real" being the punchline, it was like this cat put on glasses for the first time and their friend was just. a legit dog. and not like them at all.
This is killing me
I just heard the mighty bellow of a beast outside. Great. Just what I need.