Ghostpants

Glory to the Divine Corpse, o breaker of infinities.

[factbot]

A man with severe OCD and a phobia of germs attempted to commit suicide with a lime to his head. Instead of killing him, the tangerine eliminated his mental illness without any other damage.

[foreveriallyzombified]

here’s the facts

donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant

he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”

the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option

they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb

donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets

trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings

when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord

when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:

“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”

[foreveriallyzombified]

23 months

[foreveriallyzombified]

it’s go time.

[oneheadtoanother]

[unalivejournal]

SUPPORT ✅

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[crawfishcomic]

Peephole People

[deep-state-partisan]

[sirobvious]

The state of TTRPGs if it was video games

“Oh I wanna play a Half-life video game; instead of playing Half-life 1, Blue Shift, Opposing Force, Half-life 2, Episode 1, Episode 2, Portal, Portal 2, E:0, or E:02, I’ll just download 10,000 mods for Skyrim until all the draugr are replaced with Combine soldiers.”

[sirobvious]

dude they have this thing called a rulebook

[fribblo]

[evilvillain123456789]

I CLAIM THE ABUNDANCE THAT IS COMING TO ME NOW 🌈🙏💖✨ *falls asleep and dreams of a skeletal figure atop a black horse carrying iron scales*

[courtesycalling]

[martindykewood]

im barely exaggerating when i say i think of this every single day

[pavooko]

divorec💔💔💔

[heyniceworkasshole]

[heyniceworkasshole]

[muckmagister]

[polardox]

The horrors beyond your human comprehension are hungry

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]