If you only fight for other people but won't raise a hand against being disrespected, people notice. "All Bark but no Bite" is how the sinners at Angel's and Kaire's favorite bar would describe the short demon. Playful quips and pokes to get them angry slowly turn sour, and even the confrontation avoiding Kaire needs to bite sometimes. Their teeth are sharp and their curses are worse.
"Get Cursed" is a song in the style of "Beg for the torture" and "No Respect" by Destroy Boys (only in style, not lyrics). In this song Kaire details exactly how they can destroy a person and curse them to fates worse than death all tied together with an underlying message of "Yes, I'm nice, but don't push it".
Notice the small detail of two of their usually stitched closed eyes opening, showing that they are using their true power more.
More Works: Kaire intro, Kaire pt.2, Overlord!Kaire: Fortuna, Oneshot 1, "So, Do we have a deal"
Fortuna, the Fortune Demon, offers a deal few ever refuse. Will you accept? Is knowledge of the future really worth the price they ask?
"Do we have a Deal" is the introduction song to Fortuna. Taking inspiration from "Friends on the other side" and "Poor unfortunate souls" this song is made to bewitch the listener. A jazzy number filled with illusions and sweet promises.
More Works: Kaire intro, Kaire pt.2, Overlord!Kaire: Fortuna, Oneshot 1
(I may start offering art commissions, if you're interested either comment or write something in my Asks)
Trans: You disgust me but now we're friends - sounds bad Ik but it's a reference on the text
This is the story of how Angel Dust and Kaire started to become friends, and of how the Hotel found out about Kaire's demon form.
More of Kaire: Kaire info, Kaire pt. 2, Overlord! Kaire: Fortuna
And remember, my Asks are open. Might offer some x reader and maybe some more Kaire stuff
~~~~~~~~
Charlie had called the Residents of the Hotel down to the Lobby again. The activities she set up always varied and attendance wasn't mandatory but almost no one dared not to show up. As much as sometimes it could be a bit ridiculous, Charlie meant well, so no one wanted to let her down.
"So..." She started, sinners sitting all around her, "Today we will share what our main sins and problems are and how we are trying to better ourselves towards redemption. I thought since we have had a couple new faces, this would help everyone get to know each other better."
The tall spider sinner Kaire knew as Angel Dust scoffed dramatically. He took up a whole couch on his own. Kaire sat on the ground opposite to it. Husk, a sinner that looked like a winged cat, who was the bartender of the hotel, shoved Angel's legs off the couch and set down, grumbling something.
Kaire had come to learn those two were somehow close, although they didn't know exactly what their relationship was. In the three weeks of living at the hotel Kaire had often seen them sat at the bar talking about something Kaire didn't care enough to listen to.
The round started with the people that had been here the longest. Getting clean from drug addiction, alcoholism, the works. Other residents spoke, some who Kaire hadn't gotten to know yet. Dread started welling up in Kaire's stomach. Their turn was next. They saw the quick glance Husk and Angel shared, the latter with a little smirk.
"Kaire, it's your turn." Charlie whispered from the couch next to were they were sitting on the ground.
"Oh... Well I don' know," Kaire trailed off, "Not really anything in particular, I guess."
"Aw, c'mon yer in hell, ya must have done somethin'," Angel spoke up, now propping his face on his hand as he looked at Kaire, "Don't worry, we don't judge."
Kaire shrugged, their nails raking against the wood floor.
Charlie butted in quickly, "If Kaire doesn't feel comfortable sharing that yet it's fine as well. They are new to hell after all."
Angel spoke up again, "Lemme guess, ya did drugs. Not hard shit tho, ya don't look like the type." He shot another look to his feline friend.
"Nope. Never got into that shit. Didn't get the hype," Kaire replied simply and shrugged again.
Husks finally spoke up with his gravely voice, "Gambling, then. Or alcohol, that's always the one."
"I don't like to drink, alcohol tastes like ass." Kaire's claws were starting to leave marks on the wooden floor, "I do enjoy a good game of Poker but I don't play with money. Do y'all wanna keep interrogating me? Have you been entertained enough yet?"
Angel basically cut them off, "Oh no I get it, Sex addict. It's always the innocent ones, ya know?" He chuckles.
Kaire stiffened, their close stopped scratching the wooden floors. Their gaze dropping to the floor.
"Oh. My. God. Don't tell me, yer a virgin?" Angel spoke with a smile a bit too big, sitting up slightly.
There was a silence, then a laugh.
"Fuck, man. A virgin? Ya don't drink, don't smoke or anythin, don't gamble, don't even get laid and end up in hell." Angel laughed some more, "Shiiiit. Can't believe it. Ya must have been one boring bitch when ya were alive."
Kaire tried to chuckle with him. The wood creaked as their claws sunk deeper into it.
He didn't stop laughing, "Fucking hell, that's some shit. A fucking virgin bitch in hell, that's a joke."
He kept talking, Kaire's nails kept digging. Charlie had started her attempt at making Angel stop laughing. Kaire's heart was racing, teeth clenched and grinding against each other. They tried to keep it together but his laughter filled their brain like fog. Then something snapped, they stood. They suddenly felt different. A yellow smoke filled the edges of their vision.
"Fuck you! You bitch! You find it funny? Ti fa ridere, heh?" (Trans: Does it make you laugh, huh?)They clenched their fist and stepped closer to Angel.
He stilled, the whole room did. Everyone was looking at them, differently than usual. Even Charlie shut up.
Kaire's heart was pumping, they opened their mouth to say something, then they closed it again, not sure exactly how to express what they were feeling.
"Mi fai schifo!" (Trans: You disgust me!)Was the last thing they said before walking away. Storming towards they stairs they noticed something in the shadows, eyes and whispers, they stepped closer and disappeared. Swallowed by the shadows.
All they wanted was to get back to their room and that's what happened. Kaire popped out of a shadowy corner of their room.
Kaire was not ready for what they saw in the mirror when they turned around. Another set of eyes on their face, Nine eyes floating around their head like a crown, four of which were sown shut, all glowing yellow. A yellow smoke emanating from their hands. It took some deep breaths but the extra eyes and smoke soon disappeared.
They had told them that some sinners have different demonic forms but they couldn't have guess this is what theirs looked like.
Kaire threw themselves on their bed, "Fuck Angel. And fuck Husk too, I'm sure those two must have been talking about me behind my back at some point." Kaire mumbled into their pillow.
~~~
A few days had passed and Kaire refused to go down in the lobby. Charlie came to knock a few times a day to make sure Kaire was doing fine and that if they needed to talk, she was there for them. Sometimes she brought food and left it in front of their door.
Today they heard whispers from outside. Multiple times. Once Kaire was sure it was Charlie and Alastor. All the other times it was harder to tell. It was later into the day that they could tell someone was pacing in the hallway outside of their room. Always stopping near their door, then going again.
Kaire scoffed, letting their pencil clatter onto their desk. "I swear on the nine circles of hell, whoever it is I'll cut their legs off," they sighed, contemplating whether or not they should open the door and see who was causing all this noise.
Then, someone knocked. "Kaire. Can we talk?" The accent gave it away immediately.
"Fuck Off, Angel," Kaire replied.
"C'mon, at least open this fuckin' door. I just wanna talk."
Kaire stood up, "What part of Fuck Off do you not understand?" They swung the door open, "I don't wanna talk to you, Angel." He looked... Oddly miserable. Not in a way that's easy to notice. More in a 'I know what he usually looks like and that's not it' way. "You have one minute," Kaire rolled their eyes.
"I'm sorry, ok? I don' do the whole apologizing shit usually but I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made fun of ya, I was being a jackass." Angel rattled off in one breath.
Kaire raised a brow.
"It's just that... I dunno. We all have shit to work through and then ya just say ya don't really struggle with anything and that's kinda weird too, ya know?" He kept on rambling.
"Just cause y'all didn't guess my shit correctly doesn't mean I'm pure and don't have my reasons to be here." They said flatly. Then they sighed, and stepped to the side to let Angel in.
He hesitated for a second to long.
"Come in, mi sembri un anima in pena così in piedi fuori dalla porta." (Trans: You look like a tortured soul, standing outside of my door like that)
Angel finally stepped inside. He sat down in a bean bag Charlie had gifted to Kaire to liven up their room since they had no possessions. Kaire sat on their bed. There was a long since which Angel broke, "So you speak Italian, what a coincidence."
"I'm Italian so... Kinda my thing."
"How did you know I'd speak Italian too?" Angel tried to keep the ball rolling, sitting stiffly.
"You cussed someone out in Italian, so I guessed," Kaire said, "You don't have to be so stiff, Angel, I don't bite... Unless you like that... Actually on second thought you're very much not my type so don't ask for a bite."
The slightly dirty innuendo seemed to both surprise him and put him at ease.
"Maybe ya don't bite, but those eyes and the weird smokey shit and disappearin into shadows doesn't really help the friendly persona, ya know?" He chuckles a little.
"Did Charlie send you to apologize?" Kaire changed the topic.
"I mean not only Charlie. Husk and Vaggie got on my ass too. Tho mostly Charlie"
Kaire hummed in agreement, looking off to the window.
"Tho I do feel like shit. I didn't just do it for them," Angel added.
"Don't worry you're fine..."
"Kay, but really, Kaire, why?"
"Why what"
"Why in hell, ya seem... Nice enough"
"That's for me to know and for you to find out."
"Ah come on. Yer being mean, toots"
"Toots?"
"I call everyone toots"
Kaire hummed again.
There was a short lived silence between them.
"So is the virginity thing a choice?"
"Angel..." Kaire said in an admonishing tone.
"Just curious, it's not every day we get someone like ye down here."
"Not a choice"
"Then why? Like ya seem... Ok."
"You don't fuck people cause their 'okay', love"
"Love?"
"I call everyone that, sarcastically." Kaire finally looked back from the window to Angel. He was now looking out too.
"Whatever. I mean why not then."
"Just didn't go out much. People like me don't do the partying and the clubbing and the hooking up, I guess."
"Wait wait wait, ya never went to a club?"
"No."
"A bar?"
"Like not to hook up."
"A house party?"
"No." They replied, "Ma che è, 'n intervista?" (What is this, an interview?)
"Nope. We gotta fix this." Angel completely ignored their question.
"Fix?"
"Yes. We're going out. Me, you... Husk and maybe Cherri." Angel stood up from the bean bag.
Kaire's hands raised in front of them, inching backwards on their bed, "Whoa whoa whoa, calm it Spidey. I never said- Hey!"
Angel was much stronger than Keire had anticipated, or maybe it was that he was 8 feet tall. He grabbed their wrist and forced them to stand, walking to the chest Keire was using as a closet.
"Ya comin' and yer gonna have fun. End of discussion." Angel was now rummaging through Kaire's few possessions, "Toots, ya need some clothes, stat. Like what is this? Two shirts, three pants and a pajama? Nah, this won't do."
Kaire didn't know what to say, or even if they should feel offended. They hadn't been here for long, of course they wouldn't have clothes.
Angel slammed the chest closed, "Well, since ya have nothing nice and since ma clothes would neva fit on ya," he sighed, "we'll have to get ya somethin to wear before I bring ya to experience life."
[To be continued?]
BONUS:
(Ik angel is missing a pair of arms but this is a doodle and I'm lazy)
In this version, Kaire arrived in the middle of Alastor's absence and did not know about the Hotel.
Check out other works about Kaire: Kaire info, Kaire pt. 2, oneshot 1
(My Ask Box is open! So if you want to ask anything, ask away!)
When Kaire arrives in Hell, they immediately know they are fucked if they don't find a way to get above the rest
Stealing a tarot deck from the old demon that runs the antique store was easier than they liked to admit, their giant hands coming in clutch
"Readings! Find out your Fortune for just Five bucks! Best tarot readings in all of pentagram city!"
Thus, Fortuna was born
A few months in they found that setting up near casinos was where real money was made, filled with people willing to give anything to know the winning numbers or when to bet
Soon they made a reputation and they started asking for more: "I take 5% of all your earnings" "One favour for a reading"
From a little stand to a proper store, from 5% of earning to 10%, 15%, 20%, they grew and grew until one day:
"Welcome, what can I do for you," Fortuna asked when their heard the bell at the door ring. The small room was dimly lit and filled with the smell of ash and something woody. Fortuna leaned back in their plush seat, yellow eyes seemingly glowing, rifling and shuffling through their cards.
The demon that had just walked in sat down opposite to them, eyeing Fortuna wearily, "Yer the demon that can tell the future are ya not? Ya can tell folks' secrets and shit, right?"
Fortuna smiled, leaning closer to the table, interested, "For the right price, yes," they chuckled, it weirdly echoed in the room, "I can tell you anything you want: past, present or future, known and unknown."
"Whatever ya say," the demon replied gruffly, "I got someone I gotta get rid of, competition ya might call it. Tell me how to get ahead, take em out of the game."
"Oooh I see, rivalry," Fortuna's smile spread wider, "And what are you willing to give up for this knowledge, sir?"
"Anthin ya want"
The room was now clearer, illuminated by the yellow glow of Fortuna's eyes, not only the ones on their face, other nine had appeared like a crown, floating around their head. The demon gulped at the sight, the eyes seemingly all laughing down at him.
"Anything?" Fortuna asked in a sing song voice.
"Yes, anythin, I want that fucker gone!"
"What about..." In the blink of an eye (or 9) Fortuna was gone. The demon all but shrieked when he felt a hand on his shoulder, "your soul"
He turned but Fortuna wasn't there, once again sitting at their usual place, playing around with their cards, smile as big as it had ever been.
That was the first soul. The demon did in fact beat his enemy, but at what cost
After that, striking deals for soul became much more usual as word spread of just how good Fortuna's divinations were
Fortuna didn't really know when they became an overlord, but one time as they were strolling around the city, they heard people whisper: "The Fortune demon" "the overlord of fate"
Obviously, due to their occupation Fortuna did know a lot about Hell, but not many details about the other Overlords, they really didn't care for that
Fortuna also didn't quite care about their status as an overlord, all they wanted was to be financially stable and not be bothered
Carmilla was obviously the one to reach out, calling Fortuna for a meeting that honestly was a waste of time. They discussed what Fortuna's territory is, mostly having carved out a place near the gambling houses and what they planned to do with it
The second overlord to approach them was Vox. Asking if Fortuna wished to ally with him and the other Vees. That created a tentative cooperation, mostly consisting of Fortuna saying what the next successful trends would be and the Vees offering enough money to not make Fortuna regret their decision
Fortuna doesn't really use the souls under their possession much. Here and there they may ask for a favour or some Intel one of them might have, but for the rest, they leave them be
When they find out about the Hazbin Hotel and the Radio demon Alastor, they are quick to check in with their cards
Fortuna is extremely opportunistic in this version so when they find out it's convenient for them to join the princess of Hell, it doesn't take long for them to be knocking at the Hotel door
But the rest is for another time since this is getting long. Hope ya liked it, more is coming!
Please tell me if you want more Kaire content! My Ask Box is open!
Angel finds out how they died because when Ozzie came over to the pride ring to visit Kaire, they mention how they were killed
"So basically I was having this horrible depressive episode, you know how it is," they say nonchalantly, leaning back on the plush couch, "And I was about to throw myself off a bridge. Then my brain was like: 'Oh my god you're being so cringe right now'. So I didn't jump... But then this fucking drunk ass bitch decided to slam his ugly ass Toyota into me!
Angel is slightly weirded out by how Kaire jokes about their death
Kaire is revealed to be a clingy and a sleepy drunk when they accidentally drink Angel's drink instead of the one Husk made for them.
Kaire is a light weight, they get drunk immediately
One day Charlie asks Keire to set up some magic barriers around the hotel to keep it safe, thinking it smarter than asking Alastor cause he for sure would ask for some outrageous price.
"Yeah sure... For a price."
Kaire proceeds to go on a rant about safe deal making and favours
"You see, I'm a witch and I was taught by my amazing teacher that you should never do something for nothing. A deal has to be mutually beneficial. That's why you need to know your worth. Also bartering for favours is nice and good but make sure to pre establish WHAT the favour is going to be. Otherwise I could ask for anything."
"Anything?"
Kaire nods, "Do me a favour... And give me your soul"
"ooooooh... Shit"
"Yeah."
Kaire ends up putting up sigils so that no uninvited guests may enter the Hotel. In exchange Charlie promised to never again make a vaguely worded Deal (let's be honest, Kaire needs the hotel to be safe to live there so they would have done it purely for their own benefit)
It's very important to note that while Kaire is a nice person, abrasive and sarcastic as they may be on occasion, they are not a saint and won't hesitate to manipulate people to get an advantage
Kaire is also fiercely loyal to the people they hold dear and would not stop at anything to see them safe
While they might put up a confident front, Kaire cannot flirt for the death of them and if flirted at will internally panic
Yes, Kaire is a sub, shocker
Angel Dust and Kaire often talk about kinky shit, they call it Hoe Hours (it's mostly sleep drunk Kaire being horny and Angel finding it funny)
Kaire hates being called a slut. One time at a bar a demon called them that after being rejected and they nearly clawed his dick off were it not for Kaire's friends stepping in (Cherri was bummed out, she wanted to see it happen)
As you might have guessed Kaire has a short temper
Kaire is also quite short for hell, only being about 5'4
They died in the 2020s at age 25, they were run over by a drunk driver although the exact circumstances of the incident are not yet known
Kaire was a witch that worked with Asmodeus while alive and was also an artist
They use they/them pronouns and are a lesbian
They come to hell after the events of EP 8
At first they are skittish but soon they become more a costumed to Hell and the Hotel
Kaire thinks Alastor is cool but their also freaked out by him
Kaire and Angel Dust become friends after Kaire blows up at him for some hurtful jokes. They soon find out they have similar humor and both speak Italian
Kaire has the ability to teleport through shadows. They thinks it's because of a spell they put on themselves while they were alive, it took a more literal meaning now that they're in hell
They reveal to not really drinking or doing any other "bad" thing and also to being a virgin which confuses people on why they are even in hell
Alastor takes an interest in them after they show off their magic abilities, proposing a deal that Kaire promptly refused.
"I am a witch with a demonic mentor, Al. The first lesson was 'don't sell your soul and don't make deals with strange demons'"
Their magic presents as weird yellow smoke and eyes
Some of the eyes that appear in their demonic form are sewn shut. This is to indicate that Kaire is not using their full power/potential yet
The first time they see Valentino and Angel interact they offer to curse Val with impotence (Angel is torn on whether or not to accept)
They mention that if they had their grimoire and tarot cards they'd be much more powerful but those are stuck in the human world (hmmm... Wonder if someone could get those)
At some point they reveal that they used to work with Asmodeus and that he probably doesn't know they died and are in hell and they somehow have to send a message to him
While Kaire doesn't like getting drunk, they still talk to Husk about their problems... He just has that vibe yk?
Kaire is scared of bugs and will scream for Niffty to come and save them when a big tries to attack them
Fun fact: Kaire used to be scared of mothes in life so when they see Val they have a visceral reaction at first... Then their disgust becomes only more justified
Scar is an unlucky pirate, drifting in the sea on his small raft.
Grian is a lonely merman who just happens to look exactly like Scar's long-lost best friend huh
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