๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
โโด ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐!๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!๐๐๐๐๐๐
โโด ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐
โโด๐๐ : ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Youโd pictured your wedding ever since you were a little girl. People loved pretending they didnโt care about marriageโloved saying it was just a piece of paper or an outdated institution. Maybe there was truth in that. But if you were honest, youโd always wanted the white dress. The confetti. The kiss. The fireworks.
There was always someone whoโd roll their eyes when you admitted you couldnโt wait to get married. Someone whoโd laugh and say, โYouโre just like every other girl.โ
You didnโt mind being like the other girls.
What was so wrong with being like the other girls?
Your father basically knew everyone in town, which explained why, after only being back in Richmond for a few weeks, youโve already received a wedding invitation. Family friend or friend of a family friendโyou couldnโt rememberโbut it didn't matter. You were just excited to dress up.ย
Your mom knew how much you loved to dress up, especially when you were little. Sheโd invite all of your friends over, do your hair and makeup, let you rummage through her closet, and youโd dance to whatever mix she had made up for that night. You learned how to walk in heels at age six. Your father hated it, your mother said it was a good skill to have. You loved that, no matter how old you got, you could still have those moments with your mother.ย
โHoney? Can you help me zip up my dress?โ Your mom says from across the room. She looked beautiful, dressed in gold with her hair up.
You tug the zipper until it settles at the nape of her neck, your eyes meeting in the mirror. Her eyes meet her reflection again, head tilting, smoothing out her dress, chewing on the inside of her cheek.
โYou look fine, Mom. This dress is beautiful.โ
โAre you sure I donโt look like Iโm trying to be young?โ
It didnโt matter how beautiful a woman was. At some point, sheโd stand in front of a mirror and wonder if she looked older than yesterday.ย
Your Dad was an awful driver. Ever since you could remember, your Momโs hand was tightly grasped around the carโs grab handle, yelling, โTheyโre breaking!โย
He drove every single time, nonetheless.
You pull into the parking lot, the gravel crunching under the tires, and you can feel it already. There is always such an energy that comes with a wedding, like a vortex that sucks you in and makes you forget all your problems, as if everything will work out in the end.ย
You could tell the brideโs mother had endless nights that ended at three a.m. with sore fingers from making sure the flowers looked perfect. You knew the bride had meticulous Pinterest boards that outlined every single thing she dreamed of. There isnโt a single blade of grass that is out of place. Each chair has white bows, and candles line the walkway. The bride and groom decided not to choose sides, letting everyone pick where they want to sit. You liked that.ย
Older couples sit together, reminiscing about their wedding day fifty years ago. Little kids get shushed by their mothers and their hands swatted when they reach for the candles. Single men and women scan the crowd for potential dance partners during the slow songs. You wondered if you had any potential takers.ย
The tears start immediately when the music swells. You get to watch the people loved the most by the bride and groom walk down the aisle. The parents who canโt seem to comprehend that this day has already come, that their babies are growing up and starting their own families just as they did. You watch friends of theirs walk down the aisle, all from different parts of their lives. Some knew them when they were in diapers, or when they got their first pimple, or their first heartbreak; others met them later in life, when they felt like it was impossible to make friends as an adult, until you meet someone who makes you wonder how you ever lived without them.ย
You clap along with everyone else as the groom finally kisses the bride, smiling ear to ear, salty tears running down your cheeks, the taste lingering on your tongue. You donโt care that you donโt personally know these people. You just know that everyone deserves love.
Chairs scrape as champagne is popped and the music resumes. You watch two people walk into their new life together, leading everyone to their next chapter.ย
Someone refills your glass with Riesling as you settle against the bar, your limbs pleasantly light, your attention drifting from one conversation to the next.
It could be any Chris. Chris is a popular name, but you canโt mistake that laugh. Boyish but still deep somehow.ย
Your stomach tightens before you even turn around.
He knew weddings were always reunions. Old coworkers, high school friends, distant cousinsโeveryone suddenly pretended they remembered your name. It wasnโt that he didnโt like weddings; he wasnโt that cold-hearted or boring, but they were different nowโa reminder of what couldโve been, what shouldโve been. He had made peace with the life heโd chosen years ago; it wasnโt a fresh wound, but he couldnโt deny that sometimes something took a stitch out.ย
The beer sweats in his hand, and he adjusts the top of his suit, nodding along to whatever story heโs being told about something that happened twenty years ago. He knows he needs to shake himself out of it. Drink his beer. Catch up. Stop thinking.ย
โOh, sheโs good, man. She still gives my dad hell, even though heโs on the other side now. Still blames him for the dead grass because he set off fireworks once in the front lawn when she didnโt want him to. She complains every Fourth of July. Then I catch her smiling.โ He grins.
โGood to hear sheโs doinโ alright.โ
Their beer bottles clink.ย
Chris smiles and takes a sip of his beer, his Adamโs apple bobbing.ย
His eyes drift, scanning the room before they stop.ย
He wouldโve known if you were going to be there. Surely your father would have mentioned it.ย
His eyes leave yours for a second before finding yours again.
Fuck, youโre already walking over, and his suit suddenly feels entirely too tight on his neck.
This shouldnโt be anything.ย
This is his best friendโs daughter walking over to him at a wedding. This is normal. This is okay.ย
It didnโt matter that heโd never seen your hair pinned up before. It didnโt matter that heโd gotten so used to seeing you in denim shorts and old t-shirts that the sight of you in a dress like that feltโฆwrong. He could tell that youโd been crying. Your cheeks were still a bit pink from crying, the tip of your nose matching them.ย
He wasnโt stupid. Of course, you were beautiful. Look at your parents, for example.
Youโre smiling at him.ย
Fuck itโs fine that youโre smiling, youโre just happy.ย
He needs to open his mouth.ย
โI had no idea that you were going to be here. This place is fucking nuts, open bar too.โ You grin widely.
His eyes catch on your lips first, still damp from the wine in your glass.
Youโd done something different around your eyes.
He swallows, trying to remember where he usually looks when he speaks to people.ย
โUh,โ he rubs the back of his neck, โyeah, they really outdid themselves.โ
You smile like you always do.
His stomach tightens anyway.ย
He needs four more beers.ย
โSo did you come with your dad or?โ
โNo, Chris, I moved here a few weeks ago and already got close with someone who invited me to their wedding.โ
He rolls his eyes and lets out a little chuckle.ย
โSmart ass. Just surprised he didnโt tell me you guys would be here.โ
โHm, maybe the world doesnโt always revolve around you, Christopher.โ
That is completely appropriate to sayโฆ
โฆbecause that is his name.ย
โSuch a mouth on ya.โ
โYup.โ You emphasize the โPโ while he pretends not to notice how your lips look when doing that.
He watches you look around the room. Heโs always noticed the way you watch the way you absorb the world around you like a sponge.ย
โLove them. Donโt you?โ
His eyebrows raise, and the bottle stops at his lips, and he shrugs.
โOh, please donโt tell me youโre one of those people.โ He watches your eyes roll.
โIโm not, Iโm not. I like โem too.โ
โYou never got married.โ
He knows youโre just making an observation. He knows you donโt realize youโve pulled at one of those stitches heโd spent years tying back together.ย
He can tell that you notice the surprised, slightly hurt look on his face.
โ-Not that there is anything wrong with that.โ
โGod, kid. Iโm just an old guy who gets no pussy to you, huh?โ
He watches you choke on your wine.ย
โProbably shouldnโt have said the P word.โ He blushes, shaking his head, clearly embarrassed by how his mouth is getting away from him. โIโm a little drunk.โ
You roll your eyes. โWas just a little surprised, but Iโve heard the word pussy before, Chris. Iโm an adult.โ
His eyes dart around the room. โOkay, we have to stop saying pussy.โ
He jumps out of his skin when he hears your mom calling you over for a family picture.ย
โUgh, gotta go. Donโt get too drunk.โ
โWonโt make any promises and tell your dad I said fuck off, since when doesnโt he tell me shit?โ
He watches you giggle before his eyes follow you as you walk away. A smile is plastered on his face, and his cheeks feel hot.ย
His head turns, and the floor underneath him is no longer there.ย
His smile disappears before he even realizes itโs gone.ย
Something deep inside him pulls tight.ย
Another stitch comes loose.ย
โIโm so sorry Iโm late! My flight got delayed. God, you look stunning.โ
He watches her hug the bride.
His legs reach the bar, but his head is a few feet behind him.
She still talked with her hands.ย
Still tucked her hair behind her ear when she laughed.
You feel your heartbeat finally start to settle as you finish taking pictures with your family so your mom can post them to Facebook for all of your great aunts to see.ย
Chris lookedโฆdifferent.
Youโd gotten so used to seeing him in worn T-shirts, faded jeans, and work boots that the black suit almost felt like it belonged to someone else.
And somehow that made it worse.
Had his fucking sleeves rolled up, too.
You finish half of your glass in one sip.ย
You make your way to the dance floor, dancing with your mom just like you did when you were little. You feel light and free, giggling and tripping over your feet a bit, even though you know how to walk in heels.ย
Your eyes scan for Chris in the crowd. You know he wouldnโt come up to dance with you, but you secretly hope he does. You hope that he spins you away from your mom and gives you that cheesy smile he always has. You wonder what it would feel like when his hand settled at your waist.
You see your dad over at the bar with Chris, your Dadโs hand on Chrisโ shoulder, but somethingโs off. It doesnโt look like heโs giving your dad shit for not telling him you guys would be there. His forehead is creased, and his lips turned down into a frown. Not a cheesy smile. He looks pale, like he saw a ghost. Your dad is whispering in Chrisโs ear over the loudspeaker, but Chris isnโt saying anything.ย
Your eyes follow Chris as he pushes the doors out onto the back patio.ย
โIโm gonna go get some air.โ You yell to your mom over the music.ย
Before you realize youโre doing it, your feet are already carrying you toward the patio doors.ย
You see him before he sees you. The same beer hangs loosely from his hand as he stares out into the dark.ย
โHope you didnโt take me too seriously when I said donโt get too drunk.โ The words coming out of your mouth sound far away. Not confident.ย
He jumps a bit before turning to look at you. He exhales out of his nose. โDonโt see ya with a drink either.โ
โYou okay? You look like youโre gonna be sick.โ
โSomething like that.โ
You can hear the rustling in front of you as the crewman sets up the fireworks.ย
You watch Chrisโ fingers work on the beer bottle. Peeling back the damp paper. Heโs stopped making eye contact. Just staring out.ย
โSeemed like you were having fun before.โ Foreign, again.
Chris closes his eyes briefly.ย
โJust saw someone I didnโt think Iโd ever see again.โ
โSomehow my ex is in that room even though she moved thousands of miles away from me.โ
Your heart thuds against your ribcage.ย
He pinches the bridge of his nose. โItโs not even that I want her back or anything, I donโt. Itโs justโฆ I donโt know-โ
โ-You just feel whiplashed.โย
Chris lets out a dry laugh at that. โExactly.โย
โWhat happened?โ It comes out before you can stop it.ย
Chris takes a long sip of his beer.ย
โShe wanted more from life. Work was important to her; she wanted to move, and I didnโt. I grew up here, I love it here, this is my place, ya know? And I wanted it to work, hell, I wanted it to work, but I couldnโt give her the life she wanted. So she left after years together. One day I woke up, and she was packed up, and that was that.โ
โI donโt think wanting different things means you werenโt enough.โ
Chris turns his head to look at you.
Chris can feel his chest open up when he sees your face, only being lit up by the lights behind you.ย
You should be dancing with your mom.
Instead, youโre out here with him.ย
The music sounds muffled from the inside now.
Little feet pitter-pattering while they run inside the venue with glow sticks.ย
The fireworks are still being set up, wheelbarrows weaving through the grass, carrying explosives that are too heavy to carry.ย
Chris feels sick. Not from the beer. Not from his ex.ย
The realization hits hard enough that he has to steady himself against the railing.
He watches you rub your arms as you try to gather some heat.ย
This wasnโt just about tonight.
This wasnโt just seeing your hair up or seeing you in that dress.
Itโs been the smile on his face every time his phone lights up from your name.ย
Itโs been the flea market.ย
Itโs been the fishing trip.ย
Itโs been every Saturday.ย
His hands move before his brain catches up. He wraps his jacket around you to warm you up, and he watches your eyes lift to his face.ย
He feels your hand on the collar of his shirt.ย
He canโt get his feet to move.ย
He feels your lips on his and his eyes flutter for a second before itโs over.ย
He watches your eyes search his face like youโre waiting for him to tell you youโd made a mistake.
Every decent part of him knows he should step back.
He should tell you this canโt happen.ย
He should walk through those doors right now and confess to your dad.
Instead, heโs leaning down to kiss you again.
The fireworks explode in front of you, and the doors break open, letting out a swarm of people who are completely unaware that his life had just changed.
Chris pulls back immediately.ย
He lets the crowd take you back.
There was no stitching this one back together.
๐๐๐๐๐๐'๐ ๐๐๐๐โฆ oooo i hope that the pov switching was not confusing !! also is this like too long or
