GIAN'S-THESIS

"Words can break someone into million pieces but they can also put them together again"  🥀 - Taylor Swift

[giansthesis]

Listen to the truth — Voices of the Youth

(https://bit.ly/3ldtFH3 )

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"Only the young can run"

-Taylor swift ( Only The Young )

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This Generation's youth or Generation Z is seeing the world falling apart and we need to make a change, we're experiencing different kinds of calamities such as 9/11, forest fires, the pandemic, and school shootings, but there are other problems too like unequal rights, racism, homophobia, sexism, and more.

(https://bit.ly/3Ag6iAE)

Studies shown that due to homophobia, 4.2 million lgbtqia+ youth experiences homelessness each year. (source: https://truecolorsunited.org/our-issue/

https://youth.gov/youth-topics/lgbt)

How are we supposed to develop and thrive as a society if hate crimes still exist even in the 21st century? The youth knew there's something wrong with today, So we will fight for tomorrow for the equal rights every living person deserves right now. But we wouldn't be able to do that, can we? because there are countries right now that criminalizes being LGBTQ+ (source: https://www.humandignitytrust.org/lgbt-the-law/map-of-criminalisation/)

and if we aren't smart about who we vote for the next president of the Philippines, many closeted teenagers who couldn't come out as who they because of possible homelessness or abuse. They're scared that they might get hate-crimed because of who they are or because they loved who they want to love but not who the society wants them to love (e.g. lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer)

(https://bit.ly/3iyJEh6)

We all deserve equal rights and that includes women no matter what anyone say, but why are they still afraid to walk on the street alone or at night thinking that it isn't safe and that they always have to carry pepper spray or any type of self defense weapon? Why do they get stereotyped and get told "stay in the kitchen" whenever they speak about equal rights? I always see these types of stereotypes especially in the internet and the commenter is usually men, and it just angers me that we have to stereotype people because of their gender. According to the ONS ( Office for National Statistics ) that almost a lot of women feel unsafe walking at night, alone or not. (https://bit.ly/2YoF3Hs)

Not only that, even at the day time, women get catcalled on the streets while they're minding their business. Whats worst is that little girls up to teenagers get catcalled in the streets as well but that's not the sick part. The sick part is that they aren't even catcalled by boys their own age but by men who are on their 30s.

(https://bit.ly/2ZVnkaJ)

Me knowing this information is really upsetting because of how normalized it is.

We are all human and we deserve equal rights. Women shouldn't be treated like they exist for the pleasure of men or be treated like objects.

(https://bit.ly/3Bl7e8f)

It's time to make a change for our future and the future of many other people, we have to spread awareness and change the views of people to whats right.

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Closeted - Closeted and in the closet are metaphors for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, LGBTQ+ people who have not disclosed their sexual orientation or gender identity ⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓⋅⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄⋅︓︒︑∘∗✧∘︑︒⚬∙︓⋅⠄✯∘⠄✧⠄

Thank you to Ate Roxanne from the arts club for inspiration :)

https://roxxaanne.tumblr.com/youth

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[giansthesis]

Self Worth

(https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/932878510283353938/)

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And I know no one will save me I just need someone to kiss Give me one good honest kiss And I'll be alright

-Mitski ( Nobody )

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Every time I do something, I always feel like I'm not doing my all or I can do better but I can't. I always wanted to shout all of my anger towards someone else but the only person I can blame is myself. All my life I was always, all my life I've gotten praises from my family because of all my skills but it feels like they're fading away. My stepfather always tells me that I'm nothing and that I'm just "brains" but I'm still useless. Observing his behavior towards me and if you read my other blogs, he likes to treat me as his personal servant. Even if my original father did cheat on my mother, If you compare the both of them, It's quite obvious that who's the much better dad. But back to the topic, when he said that, my mother heard and they were arguing about me. I was thinking that maybe, it was better when I wasn't in this world and it would made everyone's life much more better. He was I think having mood swings because for a second, he'd start screaming, and then the next second he'd talk to my mother calmly. What I noticed though is that my brother who was also there during the argument was siding with my step father, he'd shout to my mother as well, and to no surprise, My stepfather had no reaction. That's when I figured everything out. He always said that he had no favorite child, but looks like his true colors were showing. When we go to where it all started, he'd always tell me that I've "changed", he couldn't accept the fact that I don't want him controlling my life anymore, but always remember that even if I don't have any worth to anyone, There's still people who are willing to love you even if someone finds you "not worth their time" and you should remember that too.

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END

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[giansthesis]

Sorrow

(https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/935622891306015495/)

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"So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe

Please don't say you love me,

胸がはち切れそうで (My chest is about to burst) "

-Mitski ( First Love / Late Spring )

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Ever since I was young, I never really had that much of a choice on what I want. My older relatives is always "Pick this", "Pick that", but I can understand how they only want what's best for me since I was really, really young back then. They'd always show their affection towards me and even if they're like that I know that they still love me. It was okay back then until my step-father came because of how my original father left when I was atleast grade 1. We were really close when I was grade 3 until Grade 5 but I never really noticed how he mentally and emotionally abused me until I was grade 6. He'd always keep me up at night or wake me up in the dawn just to lecture me. He'd tell me that there's a lot that's wrong with me and tell me how I never do nothing right. Every day, my stepfather will always demand for me to wake hours before class just to clean, around 5:00-5:30 everyday. He'd also threaten me and my mother, he always say how he'll "speak loudly", well that's how he atleast likes to word it. He also likes too shatter some appliances as well.

(https://www.pinterest.ph/MadamJae33/twitter-header-aesthetic/)

Just like I said on my previous blog, he always call me selfish for not "thinking of other people's happiness" and "I always think about myself". I always think he's doing these things to me just because I rarely join him at his religion, because of how it takes so like 4-5 hours, he doesn't want me doing anything in the process either, he just want's me to sit there until the end, not caring if I'm cold or uncomfortable with where I am, and plus, I couldn't do any of my assignments and projects as well. but that's only my theory, but what I've notice is that he's never like that too my brother who coincidentally likes to join him during church hours. He'd always make up some kind of excuse for him or whenever he'll make some sort of "punishment", he'll make sure that I'm also getting affected as well. Although I forgave him but I'd never forget what he did too me.

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END

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[giansthesis]

Someone To Talk To

(source: https://weheartit.com/articles/335268418-my-friends-as-aesthetics )

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"It's nice to have a friend"

-Taylor Swift

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Having someone to support you, hang out with, someone to trust, is the best feeling to have. Friends are like your pillars whenever you grow up because you're growing up at the same time, you can relate to one another. Unfortunately, I used to have a friend group and we were really close but I left them because we just slowly grew apart from each other. We always used to play together, learn together, and rise together, but because of how I always loved being friends with my friends, I haven't noticed how toxic they've become overtime. We always talk to each other but for some reason, they just started ignoring me. Is it because we aren't from the same school? I'm not sure but it would be nice if I get even a simple "How are you?" from them. Every time we play together, they always tell me to shut up. Is it because of me? I'm not sure as well. But recently, I just left the group chat because it's like I'm just glass for them, It's as if I'm see through. It's very unhealthy for me to hang out with people like those. I also had 2 other friends who was also part of that friend group who also left months ago. I asked them why and both their reasons is that the group chat was getting too toxic, they were also getting ignored just like me, although I still talk to the two, I highly doubt the people in the group chat still remembers me or still remember them. It's just like this, in every friend group that has an odd number of people, it's very inevitable for one person to be left behind. Only 4 of my friends acted like actual friends and 3 of us were left behind. Toxic people are very unhealthy for you because they treat you like trash and you shouldn't expose yourself to them.

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[giansthesis]

HAPPINESS

https://cutestwitterpacks.tumblr.com/post/118785450851/random-words-meanings-twitter-headers-credit-to

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"There is Happiness because of me"

-Taylor Swift

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We've all been in that place where we thought that we need someone to make us happy or be the reason why we're happy, and when we lost them, it felt like whole portion of yourself was gone. Or in other cases, you're told that you should be happy with someone else because happiness with yourself is just "fake". I always thought that I can't be happy by myself and that it's better to be happy with someone else instead with yourself and my father always told me that I was selfish because of how I only think about my own happiness and not the happiness of others, and he believed that that's the best type of happiness. Because of this, I became too "clingy" to other people just to reach that other people's standard of happiness, I was always bored to be with myself, to do what makes me "happy" and it made me feel guilty whenever I'm happy for doing what I love. It made me feel guilty every time I'm being happy by myself, It made me feel like what I was doing was wrong. When this toxic mindset was finally removed from my head, it made me shy. I forgot how to start a conversation, makes friends, and more. Ever since my father told me these, I always feel resentment towards him, but I always follow the saying "forgive but never forget". What I believe now is that it's no ones fault you want to become happy and that it doesn't make you selfish because you're not following what people's beliefs on what's the "best type" of happiness and on how you are supposed to feel happiness. You are who you are and you decide what and how you become happy.

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