AUTODIDACT.

i must find my own way.

[giantsreach]

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❛  𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 — i am so much more than i was. this is what i was meant to be. ❜

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐄. he had a stare like a templar, drive like a warden, and more skill than sense. and i’ll not say a bad word more than that, because i'm still here and ruddy kings aren't. — and that's because of men like him trying.

⌈ about … full dossier … rules below ⌋

o1. this is an indie, selective, and 18+ carver hawke ( dragon age 2 ) roleplay blog. interactions will be solely for people i am in mutual follows with. i will not be following non-rp blogs or blogs without some form of rules, nor will i interact with gender bends/cis swaps or duplicate muses. i'm unfortunately very opinionated about carver and i'd hate to nitpick another person's interpretation.

o2. before he is hawke’s brother, carver is his own character. i usually follow the decisions i choose for carver. within my main verse, carver is a warden on the friendship route; his templar verse is to be used at my discretion.* 

( *templar muses may assume carver’s templar verse as the default for ease of interaction. ) 

o3. please do not use super small text with me. my eyes are bad with a real gnarly astigmatism. on that note, i know it's extremely popular right now, but i'm not interested in writing with those double- or triple- spacing their posts. i struggle to read it and won't force myself through trying.

o4. if you ask for a starter and i write one for you, please like the post so that i know you’ve seen it. if you don’t, i’ll probably send it to you via im, you’ll say you saw it, i’ll mention my rules and just generally have a lowered opinion of you. same goes for ask memes.

i don’t really care about reblog karma. send memes only if you want replies. i’d rather not waste my time because the common convention is that it’s polite to leave something in someone’s ask box before you reblog. 

o5.  tag your nsfw, ooc, and vagueblogging. don’t follow otherwise. 

i’m a qmoc who’s been in darp for years and i know how this fandom gets about its white male faves and white elves and white mages. uwu i’m tired of white roleplayers co-opting radical language to post uninformed cold takes for a fandom which revolves around some eurocentric fantasyland written largely by and for white audiences. 

tl;dr if you’ve got #magerights in your about but hate vivienne, don’t follow me.

o6.  i am non-exclusive and tentatively multi-ship, but i will likely only with one of any character and prefer mutual ship exclusivity.

more information on ships/shipping here!

o7. if you have triggers that should be tagged, please let me know. the tagging system on this blog boils down to subject tw / cw. i tag the essentials such as nsfw, gore, death, etc. as they occur, if they do at all. 

o8. thank you for making it through my rules! i’m thomas ( he/him/his ) and i’m really not that much of a stickler, i promise. i’m twenty-seven, engaged, and operating as a legal assistant by day, no-skill gamer by night. i pull some wacky hours, so expect low activity.

 ⋙      𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

on warden carver vs templar carver.

on malcolm’s absence in carver’s life.

on carver and his views on mortality.

on carver’s mundane aspects.

on carver’s attitude towards the templars, especially in act i.

on carver’s dislike of anders. 

on carver’s attempts at befriending fenris.

on the potential carver and merrill had.

[giantsreach]

hm.

[giantsreach]

oh mine god, i accidentally hath posted a plotting call . . . ! prithee scroll past it!! 'lest . . . thou desirest to plot? haha i jest, ignore it . . . but should thee crave . . . haha nay, banish it . . . 'lest? 👀

[ansburg]

CHATEAU HAINE — & BONUS.

[ratfuck]

me and my big stupid cock... 😞 *kicks a tin can down the street with my head hunched over*

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR THE ROMANCE OF HANDS & TOUCH *  include 'reverse' for the reversal of the prompt

[ table ] sender reaches for receiver's hand under the table

[ knowing ] sender has been holding receiver's hand all this time without realizing it and hurries to let go

[ cling ] sender scrambles to grab receiver's hand in a hasty situation

[ tangle ] sender carefully knots their fingers with receiver's

[ thumb ] sender starts gently caressing receiver's knuckles with their thumb

[ squeeze ] sender reassures receiver with a squeeze of their hand

[ aligned ] sender lays their hand flat against receivers, lining up every digit to compare sizes

[ pinky ] sender hooks their pinky finger with receiver's

[ ring ] sender admires a ring on receiver's hand

[ desperate ] sender is in pain and squeezes tightly to receiver's hand to channel the agony elsewhere

[ let go ] after holding onto receiver's hand for a while, sender finally, reluctantly releases their grip

[ swing ] sender holds receiver's hand and starts swinging their hands back and forth in a playful way

[ promise ] sender performs a pinky promise with receiver

[ piano ] sender begins tapping their fingers along receiver's back like they're playing a piano

[ shoulder ] sender sets a hand on receiver's shoulder and leaves it there

[ strand ] sender reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind receiver's ear

[ fix ] sender gently fixes receiver's hair

[ boop ] sender lightly taps the tip of receiver's nose

[ clean ] after eating, sender reaches up to clean something off receiver's face

[ napkin ] sender uses a napkin to tidy receiver's face

[ chin ] sender takes receiver's chin between their fingers and holds it

[ lips ] in the midst of an intimate exchange, sender smooths their thumb back and forth over receiver's lips

[ play ] sender plays with receiver's hair

[ knead ] sender gives receiver a much needed shoulder massage

[ accidental ] sender and receiver reach for the same thing and their fingers brush unintentionally

[ pat ] sender pats the top of receiver's head

[ thigh ] sender begins caressing along the receiver's thigh

[ smooth ] sender strokes up and down across the receiver's arm

[ comfortable ] sender picks the receiver's legs up and drapes them over their lap

[ straddle ] sender guides the receiver over and coaxes them fully onto their lap

[ shirt ] sender slips a hand up the receiver's shirt

[ hem ] sender plays with the hem of receiver's shirt

[ loop ] while standing behind the receiver, the sender hooks a finger in the belt loop of their trousers

[ pocket ] sender slides a hand into receiver's back pocket

[ guide ] sender uses both of their hands to guide the receiver into a kiss

[ push ] in the midst of a dangerous situation, the sender pushes the receiver out of harm's way

[ shield ] the sender drags receiver behind them to keep them safe

[ remind ] sender sets their hands on both sides of receiver's face and tries to get them to look at them directly

[ pressure ] sender sets a hand on the small of receiver's back

[ neck ] sender sets a hand around the base of receiver's neck and gingerly kneads the muscles there

[ braid ] standing behind the receiver, sender starts braiding their hair

[ undo ] sender takes receiver's hair out of their updo/ponytail

[ clasp ] sender helps receiver put on a necklace

[ zip ] sender assists receiver in zipping up or taking off a difficult piece of clothing

[ wave ] sender waves goodbye to receiver for the very last time

[ both ] sender takes both of receiver's hands in their own and guides them close to one another

[ hug ] sender slides both arms around receiver and clings to them

[ handshake ] sender and receiver shake hands and hold on to each other a little longer than intended

[ behind ] sender hugs receiver from behind and tucks against their body

[ sleep ] sender is asleep and reaches for receiver in the middle of the night

[ spoon ] while spooning, sender tangles their hands with receiver

[ tap ] sender appears behind receiver and taps their shoulder to let them know they're standing there

[ patch ] sender patches up a wound on receiver's body

[ propose ] after a successful proposal, sender slides the engagement ring onto receiver's finger

[ paint ] sender applies body paint to receiver's nude form

[ undress ] sender takes their time removing receiver's clothes piece by piece

[ cover ] sender shoves a hand over receiver's eyes, preventing them from witnessing a terrible sight

[ pillow ] sender pats the pillow next to them, encouraging receiver to climb in bed beside them

[ gift ] sender offers a wrapped present out to the receiver

[powerbottomblake]

toxic dysfunctional complex sibling relationships will always always be IT it'll always sweep it'll always top romance you can't undo a blood bond it'll always exist you can't unmake it it lives it lives you both breathe it and it lives even long after one or both parties are dead

this is why stories with compelling sibling arcs will always fuck you up irreversibly and in very specific way. it's like, you are my mirror you are my opposite you are my foil you are my blood i see myself through you i recognize myself because you exist and no one can ever destroy me quite the way you can.

[outofcontextbonappetit]

[giantsreach]

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 | @skysaved

"have you considered that your head exploding might be a good thing?" he's half-jesting with her, and yet his expression lounges at a cool — almost earnest — curiosity. carver holds a brow aloft, as if to say what if? and shrugs. "you'd cut out a good deal of ruminating, at least. maybe even some pondering while you're at it. can't have a leader doing too much of that, eh?"

carver scratches idly at his jaw. commits, with a near-bratty enjoyment, to feigning nonchalance as he appraises the state of her, head-to-toe. "who knows? people might even stop talking at you once they realize you haven't the ears for it anymore." a pause. "though i suppose it depends, doesn't it? if they'll look past your arm long enough to notice."

[doortoanotherdoortoanotherdoor]

with my brain small, my meat huge, my pain endless, i tread onwards

[idkhowtopickausername]

I hate when you love a character who’s like a kid or a teenager and they so perfectly capture the flaws and struggles of being that age and not understanding everything fully yet or necessarily making the best choices especially when they’re in a very painful or complex situation and they feel so real and human because of it and then you go online and there’s someone who’s like “they’re DUMB and EVIL and SELFISH because of [important moment in their character arc when they messed up and learned from it or broke under pressure or didn’t have the courage to do an incredibly difficult thing or responded realistically to their truly horrifying circumstances]”

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

dialogue  prompts  taken  from the script of  everything  everywhere  all  at  once  (2022),  directed  by  daniel  kwan  and  daniel  scheinert.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit.

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ stop changing the subject. ❜

❛ every day i fight, i fight for all of us. ❜

❛ what are you doing? what is wrong? ❜

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

❛ you may be in grave danger. there is no time to explain.❜

❛ we can make our own way. please, come with me. ❜

❛ don't even talk to me about this because i won't remember.❜

❛ i am not your husband. at least not the one you know. i am another version of him from another life path, another universe. ❜

❛ i’m here because we need your help.❜

❛ sorry, very busy today. no time to help you– ❜

❛ all those years of searching have brought me here. to this universe. to you. ❜

❛ i’m here to tell you every rejection, every disappointment has led you here. to this moment. ❜

❛ i'm not ready to fight yet. ❜

❛ maybe we don't have a choice. ❜

❛ now, you can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences. ❜

❛ i... want to lie here. ❜

❛ how often do people literally die laughing? ❜

❛ my husband won't even kill a spider. how are you the same person? ❜

❛ we are talking about infinity. if you can imagine it, somewhere out there, it exists. ❜

❛ how did i die? ❜

❛ i've seen you die a thousand ways. in a thousand worlds. in every single one, you were murdered. ❜

❛ what!? who wants me dead? ❜

❛ you’ve been feeling it too, haven’t you? something is off. your clothes never wear as well the next day, your hair never falls in quite the same way, even your coffee tastes... wrong. ❜

❛ maybe we would have been better off if we had never gotten married. ❜

❛ i never said that. ❜

❛ you didn’t have to. it’s the way you look at me. ❜

❛ can’t you see it? how wonderful it would be if you came with me? ❜

❛ i saw my life without you. i wish you could have seen it. it was beautiful. ❜

❛ shhh, you're not thinking straight. ❜

❛ what is worse than death? ❜

❛ i saw your face on a billboard and — this is silly — i wondered if you remembered me... ❜

❛ is it that i can’t be here, or that i’m not allowed to be here? ❜

❛ there is no good, there is no evil. there is only “goovil”. ❜

❛ if you can imagine it, you have fucked it. ❜

❛ do not be so closed minded that you blind yourself from the truth! ❜

❛ don’t make me fight you. i am really really good. ❜

❛ you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. ❜

❛ you can't remember anything because your bodies were under the control of other universes. ❜

❛ you were like puppets. and you could do things you normally can't do. you were like, what's that movie... raccaccoonie? ❜

❛ how can you defeat her in every universe, if you can't even kill her in one? ❜

❛ the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. ❜

❛ i cannot lose another loved one to the darkness. ❜

❛ i know you have feelings. feelings that make you so sad. that make you just want to give up. that is not your fault. ❜

❛ i'll see you again soon, somewhere out there in all that noise. ❜

❛ just think happy thoughts. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ i'm the one you've been looking for. ❜

❛ i’m the one who will defeat you. ❜

❛ you’re finally free, like me. ❜

❛ you don't have to choose anymore. between loving me or hating me. you can do both at the same time. ❜

❛ before, you were asking about "our daughter". it's crazy, but it really got me thinking. what if you had come with me all of those years ago? ❜

❛ all of this time, i wasn't looking for someone who could defeat me. i was looking for someone who could see what i see, feel what i feel... ❜

❛ oh, good, you're here too. ❜

❛ i'm sorry about ruining everything, i– ❜

❛ we're all stupid. small stupid little humans. it's like our whole deal. ❜

❛ everything is going to be okay. ❜

❛ you think i’m weak don’t you? ❜

❛ when we first fell in love all of those years ago, your father would say i was too sweet for my own good. maybe he was right. ❜

❛ please! can we just stop fighting! ❜

❛ you tell me that it's a cruel world and we're all just running around in circles. i know that. i've been on this earth just as many days as you. ❜

❛ the only thing i do know is we have to be kind. be kind. especially, when we don't know what's going on. ❜

❛ i know you go through life with your fists held tight. you see yourself as a fighter. well, i see myself as one too. this is how i fight. ❜

❛ in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you. ❜

❛ you know what i say? cold, hysterical, unlovable bitches like us make the world go round. ❜

❛ you aren’t unlovable. there is always something to love. ❜

❛ even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we’d all be very good with our feet! ❜

❛ in a universe where we both agree that no one could love you, if we look hard enough, something will prove us wrong. ❜

❛ we are all useless alone. so its good you're not alone. ❜

❛ maybe you win in this universe. but in another, i beat you. or we tie. or we eat crepes. ❜

❛ i don't want to hurt anymore. and for some reason when i'm with you, it hurts both of us. ❜

❛ out of all of the places i could be, why would i want to be here with you? ❜

❛ i still want to be here with you. i will always want to be here with you. ❜

❛ i will cherish these few specks of time. ❜

[giantsreach]

from here | @fen-dwxller

he should be grateful for the scouring cold; the chill whips a wicked lash this deep into the frostbacks, but carver's cheeks burn nonetheless at the assessment of his social niceties, and the howling wind feels almost gentle by comparison.

"right," says carver, in some cowed acknowledgement of the rift unbridged between them. he focuses on his footwork through the thick-packed snow and tries to shake the sense of jamais vu — or whatever the orlesians call it — settling in with each plodding step:

the nostalgia of being back home in ferelden, its bright snow crunching cosily under foot, covering the pentimenti of slogging through the sea-bearing heat of kirkwall with friends of his brother's. there's something sour about this blend of memories, like lemon and cream in his tea, but carver swallows it down anyway. more important things to worry about, after all.

"shouldn't be much longer," he points out eventually. a hazy silhouette darkens the patchwork of low-slung clouds on the horizon, perhaps a mile away, its crenellations indistinct but unmistakable. "so, that much closer to getting back to whatever it is you were doing before."

[giantsreach]

carver dealing with his bi feelings before joining the wardens and after, colorized

[giantsreach]

❝ you proved you can handle yourself. ❞

resident evil: 4 remake starters | @vhenann

it's almost embarrassing, how quickly a warrior might be undone by words alone. he's prided himself a bulwark, unshakeable in the ranks, and in the muck and filth and heat of the battle, but his frontage buckles at the hint of recognition — as if his labors are so brittle that even the act of being seen should leave fault lines in its wake.

part of this, naturally, is a matter of source. few have the honor of working with the hero of ferelden; the privilege is one carver is still getting used to. he clears his throat — or tries to (the knot within is, much like himself, stubborn at the worst of times) — and nods. it feels like a silly gesture immediately, one that says yes, i have rather than i'm glad you noticed.

carver hems again, shifting his weight overfoot, and manages a serviceable steadiness for the occasion. "i . . . thank you, warden-commander."

[finalgirlabigailhobbs]

a loving relationship between a guy who says “wowza!” and a guy who says “hm. intriguing.”

[antigonick]

“I dreamt that you had died, and in my dream I said, But if you are dead then there is nobody to catch me if I fall. And then in my dream you came back from death, you were tired, your feet hurt, but you were happy to come back one last time, and you said: Then don’t fall.”

— Miriam Toews, Women Talking