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How to Change Your Diet Once and for All

Two words will make you fail your fitness goals every single time: “Diet” and “Exercise!” Until you change them to nutrition and training as past of a healthy lifestyle, no health change you make will stick. –Healthy Dad

Look at weight stats from around the world, most nations could stand to lose more than a few pounds. Unfortunately though, the reward for eating those foods you should avoid is immediate and powerful (i.e. immediate gratification), but the reward for eating well is hard to see in the short-term, even though amazing in the long run. It’s easy to tell yourself that you’ll start eating better tomorrow or next week.  As the saying goes, “Just wait and see, I will stop procrastinating tomorrow.”

I have personally made some huge health and weight-loss changes over the last 3 years, so no one can tell me about the focus, discipline and tenacity it requires to stay on course and lead a better life a midst a seemingly global obesity crisis. So, let’s be real from the start, Changing any habit can be a challenge. Changing your eating habits is even more challenging.  

BUT, changing your eating habits don’t need to be dull, boring, complicated and short-lived.  You CAN eat healthily AND well at the same time.  So, let me share with you a few ideas that might help you lose weight and get healthier while leading a normal life in 2016 and onward.

You can change your nutrition intelligently with these tips:

Focus on the benefits. Make a list of everything you’ll gain by eating a more healthy diet. It’s easy to find the advantage to eating a candy bar – you’ll feel great for a few minutes. The advantages of eating a carrot are far less pronounced in the short-term. Remind yourself of how much healthier and fitter you’ll be in six months.

Make small changes. If your goal is to become a vegetarian, make the transition slowly. Try having a single vegetarian dinner this week. Shoot for two meals next week. Continue until you’ve successfully made the switch.

Follow the same process for dropping unhealthy foods. Suppose you currently drink six sodas each day. Try drinking five each day for a week and then reduce it to four. In several weeks, you’ll be soda-free.

  Focus on the most significant changes first. It’s more beneficial to your health to remove bacon from your diet than it is to make the switch from regular to organic apples. If you’re going to put your time and effort into changing, make the change count.

Avoid perfection. Studies have shown that following a diet 90% of the time is nearly as good as following it 100% of the time. It’s not necessary to live and eat like a monk.

Allow yourself to get a little crazy one meal out of ten. You’ll receive the same benefits, and your compliance will be much greater.

Take it one day at a time. The thought of following a new eating plan for years can be overwhelming. When the urge to stray occurs, tell yourself that you can cheat tomorrow, but not today. Then tomorrow, tell yourself the same thing.

Get all non-compliant foods out of the house. You’ll eventually eat any food in the house if it’s something you like. No one’s willpower can survive forever! Get it out of the house before you suffer a weak moment. Give it away or throw it in the trash.

Go food-shopping while you’re not hungry. You’re much more likely to buy junk food if you’re hungry. Have a healthy meal and then go to the grocery store. You’ll buy the food you need, rather than the food you want.

Notice the times and situations you eat poorly. When are you most likely to reach for those foods you’d like to avoid? Is it after dinner? While watching TV? When you’re feeling blue? On the weekends? Try to avoid succumbing to your urges during those times. Take a walk instead of watching television. Call a friend if you’re feeling down.

Bad habits have triggers. What are yours?

At the start of a new year it seems like everyone is trying to eat better and move a tad more.  That’s awesome.  The stats however are against us.  The vast majority of people would have gone back to old habits before mid to end January.  Discouraging I know.  But it doesn’t have to be.  Improving two things, nutrition and moving purposefully (i.e training), are one of the best ways to enhance your health. Dietary habits are especially tough to change. Eating poorly has immediate rewards, but you may not enjoy the benefits of healthy eating right away.So my advice is to take baby steps when making changes to your eating habits and change your diet once and for all.  Also, when you fall of the band wagon don’t worry and give up completely – one “bad” doesn’t mean you’ve failed.  Just dust yourself off and get back into it tomorrow, or even with the next meal.  You can do this!

To help you even more, here is a guide that shares some ideas on how to eat clean and lose weight.  It’s simple and easy and will cost you a damn side less than heart or cholesterol meds.  Get it now here.

Always cheering you on!

Gideon

a.k.a Healthy Dad

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Expand Your Familiar Zone and Experience Real Change and Results

Personally I don’t believe we have comfort zones.  We only have familiar zones.  We will stick to something familiar even when it’s uncomfortable. Real change and results lie beyond what is familiar and uncomfortable.  Gideon Hanekom

I have found that people tend to stick to what is familiar rather than comfortable.  We will often remain in the situation is even uncomfortable, as long as it is familiar.  We will pay higher rates but at least we know what service we will get.  We will drive a bit further but at least we know where the location is.  We will keep hanging out with the same people even when we know their influence isn’t great, but at least it beats the fear of meeting new people.  The list goes on and on.

Whether we like it or not, most of us rarely venture from our familiar zones. We perform the same actions and create situations that are comfortable and familiar to us. Unfortunately, life doesn’t change until our actions change.

In fact, we will have to expand your familiar zone to experience real change and result in your life.  That requires doing something new.  As the old saying goes, if you keep doing what you’ve been doing you will keep getting the same results, or it least something close to.

But, we know that new actions often fall outside of your current Familiar and Comfort zones. Since humans naturally seek familiarity to stay as comfortable as possible, this is quite the conundrum. It seems that one has to choose between familiarity, comfort and growth.  it’s a simple question really — what do you desire most?  Why do you desire most for your life in the next 3, 6 or 12 months?

I’ll be brutally honest here — Personal growth and stepping up are for the brave and require some guts — it ain’t for the spineless and whiners.

So let’s look at ways to Expand Your Familiar Zone and Experience Real Change and Results in in the next couple of months.

Try these tips to take new actions and see positive changes in your life:

Make a change from your common media. Read a different type of book than you normally read. Listen to a new type of music or Podcast. Watch a movie or TV show that you would’ve never considered before. Shake things up a little bit by watching and listening to something new.  You never know, you might actually learn something that could change your life, relationships, or business.

Try new foods. Have you ever had Korean or South African food? Pick up the yellow pages and find a new restaurant. It’s uncomfortable to try new foods. That’s precisely the point. Learn to deal with a little discomfort.  Do something that unfamiliar for a change.

Shake up your other routines. Try being a vegan or go Paleo for a week or get up two hours earlier and work out. Take the bus downtown instead of driving. Meditate each evening for a month. Avoid procrastination for a week. Take on some new activities.  Spend some time reading a book in the evening instead of watching TV or YouTube.

Take a comfort zone challenge. This has become a popular idea, and I think it was pioneered by Tim Ferris (4-Hour Work Week, 4-Hour Body, 4-Hour Chef).  The only purpose of a comfort zone challenge is to increase your resistance to social judgement. You build your courage and confidence, but never put yourself in any real danger. A few examples include:

Lie down on the sidewalk for 30 seconds in a busy city.

Ask for 10% discount on every purchase you make during the day.

Sing or whistle your favorite song aloud in the grocery store.

Walk through the mall with your shirt on backwards.

Start a conversation with a very attractive man or woman.

Draw a smiley face on your forehead and walk around town.

Walk up and complement a stranger in a cafe.

Be completely different in your marketing ( if you’re in business) — think a weird, bold, and memorable.

Start a blog and share your ideas with the world.

Make small changes. Big changes are scary. Make a small change in your life and take things a little further each week. If you’re afraid of heights, look out a second story window. Next week, try the third floor. Several small changes are as effective as a single, larger one. This is easier than a comfort zone challenge, but much slower.

Understand the benefits of getting outside your Familiar zone. Studies have shown that maximum productivity and performance happen during times of low to moderate stress. Stress helps us focus and perform. Being too comfortable in familiar situations actually creates challenges.  You’ll learn to deal with stress and uncertainty. By stressing yourself a bit on purpose, you’ll be better able to manage stress when it naturally arises.

Visit somewhere new. Spend the night in a new town. Try camping in the mountains. Rent an Campervan for a week. Or just try the family owned grocery store on the other side of town instead of the big box store down the street.

Learn to deal with being uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable isn’t always a good reason not to do something. Learn yoga, meditation, or another stress reducing technique. In fact, anything that can improve your breathing is good.  Apply it whenever you’re feeling stressed. It won’t be long before you can confidently do and experience new things.

Bust out of your Familiar Zone and live your life from a new perspective. Your Familiar Zone will trap you if you let it. It’s possible to live beyond your current habits.  I’ve actually created a 30 day course called, Accelerate: 30 days to creating and breaking habits, that could help you with this.  As this is a new course so you can get in for free right now.  Once it closes after the first round, you will only be able to get in for $67.   A little bravery can completely change your life.  So take this time to make use of this opportunity. 

But whatever you choose to do, I’m challenging you to try some new activities in the next month and see what happens. It’s okay to be uncomfortable.  It’s okay to be scared.   You’ll expand your Familiar zone in ways you never thought you could, and by doing it, create results you never thought you could.

I would love to hear your thoughts and comments below.  Please post them below

Live Strong, Live with Passion, and Go Make a Difference for Someone Today!

Get Accelerate: 30 Days to Creating and Breaking Habits now!

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How to Create the Life that You Want

We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.  ~Tony Robbins

This guy’s transformation is simply mind-blowing and super inspirational.  Have you ever heard the saying, “If they can do it, I can do it?”  Well, in this case Arthur (man in video) shows us just how true that it.

Many of us are going to create exactly the same results in 2016 than we have this year and the year before … for most, that’s NOT a good thing.  Arthur shows us what is possible if we commit, act and persist.  We can either buy the stories and fate other assign to us, or we can choose to step up and ran towards a new life.  One where we are actually happy and at peace.  One where we love life.  One where we sleep well, get up with excitement and live with energy.

(continue reading below video)

To create new results we must make a new decision today.  And once we’ve made the decision we must act on that immediately.  Arthur did both.  However, part of his success is thanks to another guy, and ex-Pro Wrestler in fact.  Diamond Dozen decided to help Arthur out because everyone else turned him away.

In life, we too need good people around us that can help us get to the results we desire.  Yes, we can go at it alone, or we can be wise and take the help offered.  That’s why I put this FREE course together for my coaching clients.

I know that many of them are already thinking of 2016 and what they want to achieve, create and experience next year.  So I started putting a 30 day course together to help them make 2016 the best year ever.

Now, you can too as you have free access to this like my clients.  I add a new training video and action step every day for 30 days and you can take all the time that you need to work through the content.  Right now, the course is open, but once it closes it will only be available for $67.

So get in now.

Hope to see you on the other side.

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7 Natural Strategies for Boosting Your Energy

If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine. It’s lethal. Paolo Coelho

One of the most common complaints I hear from my coaching clients is that they don’t have enough time during the day for everything they want to achieve.  Now, obviously we can’t create more time but I do believe we can manipulate time somewhat.

When you study top achievers and high performing people, they all have 24 hours in a day just like everyone else – yet they achieve a lot more.  The question is, how do they do that?   I believe the issue is not so much the amount of time they have, but rather what they do with the time they have.  A different way of putting it is, they get more out of the time they have than the average Joe.  So, the next question is, how did they do that?  Well, personally I believe there are many factors that contribute to this, but the one standout factor is no doubt the ability to focus their energy towards their outcomes.  Whereas most of us use our energy on things that are of little or no value, most high performing people use their energy on things that actually move the needle in their life or business.

So, what can we learn from this and what changes can we make to also get more from the time we have?

Here’s what I think – we need to learn better ways for creating the energy needed to achieve the goals we want. In this post I want to share 7 natural strategies for boosting your energy.  These are natural methods that will help you feel better all over and increase your energy levels dramatically over time.  But like anything in life, we need to give it time and effort.  You don’t expect bigger biceps or a firm bootie after just one training session in the gym.  Many of us have become so reliant on artificial things to lift our energy levels and moods, like coffee, energy drinks, pills and supplements, that our bodies aren’t used to creating the energy that we need naturally and healthily anymore.  We need to turn that around and condition ourselves again to create the energy we need, through natural strategies.

In the long run, you will feel better for it and it will be more lasting.

Try these healthy, natural energy-boosters:

Exercise.  It may be difficult to stay motivated and exercise while you’re tired. However, the energy boost you will receive can last for a long period of time.

Exercise increases your heart rate and blood flow, so your body is able to get more nutrients and oxygen. This has a direct impact on your energy levels, and you begin to feel more animated.

Vigorous and intense exercise isn’t necessary (even though they’re great and effective) to boost energy levels. You can benefit from slower and calmer types of exercises, too, such as walking and yoga.  If you live in a place with nice, safe or popular trails, go for a walk first thing in the morning.  You’d also be surprised how doing something like skipping rope (in case you don’t have much room or time) can energise you.

Eat more whole foods. Foods like vegetables, nuts, seeds and fruits can help you raise your energy levels in a natural way.

Health experts recommend avoiding energy drinks and bars because they’re considered a second-rate choice compared to whole foods. Focus on eating whole fruits, grains, vegetables, and other items.

Check your calorie intake, especially if you’re on a low-calorie diet. If you’re not getting enough calories during the day to sustain your lifestyle, then you’ll feel tired. It’s important to evaluate your food intake and keep a diary to ensure you’re eating enough.  Conversely, eating too much and constantly can leave you feel lethargic also.

Laughing can bring you a sudden boost of energy.

Do you have an online video that always makes you laugh? Can you text a mate who is always ready to share a joke? YouTube is a great resource.  Just avoid “browser-blackout” and lose hours watching video after video.  That will defeat the purpose.  Just watch something funny first thing in the morning and give yourself the kick start you need.

Add small breaks to your day. Working without breaks can lead to fatigue.

Short breaks scattered throughout your day can help you fight stress and reenergise. These breaks can last a few minutes or 10 minutes. They should leave you feeling calmer and more energised.  We are more productive with short intervals of rest than without.  The myth of go-go-go without stop all the time for better productivity is exactly that, a myth.

Avoid negative people. If you’re surrounded by negative people, you’re more likely to suffer from stress and fatigue.  It is called Emotional Contagion – the idea that emotions are contagious just like a cold.  We transfer our emotional states onto people around us, and vice versa.

Studies show that your body’s reaction to the stress response can leave you feeling drained. Negative people can make your stress levels go up, so it’s important to surround yourself with positive people who don’t make you tired.  The Law of Association states that we become like the people we surround ourselves with.  In the self-help world there is a rule of thumb that we typically become the average of the five people we spent most of our time with.  Make sure that those five people are conducive for achieving your goals and outcomes in life and business.

Take a nap. Napping may seem like a counterintuitive idea, but researchers have found it can help increase energy levels. Short naps can help you feel refreshed and empowered to take on new challenges.

Research from the National Institutes of Mental Health reveals that taking a short nap can help your brain and body recover from stress and other activities.  Short typically means 10 to 20 minutes.  In addition, when taking a short Power nap, try sitting slightly upright as this will give you all the benefits minus the temptation to fall into a deep sleep.  Btw, naps won’t help that much if you’re not getting enough sleep at night anyway.  We need to 7-8 hours of deep sleep to function properly over the long run, and even stay healthier and younger for longer.

Stay hydrated and avoid alcohol. Water can help you prevent dehydration and fatigue.  One of the best tips I’ve ever learned in my life is having water first thing in the morning.  Thinking about it logically, your body would be in need of hydration after 6 to 8 hours of sleep and no water consumption.  However, when caffeine (a substance that dehydrates further) is your first drink in the morning yet the effects only last for a little while before you need another cuppa as fatigue returns, this might explain why.

In light of this it’s important to note that nutritionists have found that even the beginning stages of dehydration can leave you feeling tired and weak. Therefore, it’s important to drink water throughout the day and ensure you’re getting enough.

Furthermore and caffeine aside, alcohol can also contribute to fatigue, so you may want to avoid excess consumption and on a regular basis.

Alcohol can mess with your normal sleep schedule and make it more difficult for you to get a good night’s sleep. This can lead to more fatigue in the morning and feelings of weakness.  Needless to say, alcohol first thing in the morning is obviously not a great idea.  And if you do crave a glass of wine or beer first thing in the morning, you might have a bigger issue on your hands and might want to consider seeking out help.  Just saying.

Natural energising methods and strategies can help you increase your energy levels without relying artificial substances.  This is the only sustaining way for creating long term high energy levels.

I encourage you to rethink some of your habits and how they might be impacting your energy levels throughout the day.  Maybe your issue is not so much time management, but rather energy management.  I have found that without the appropriate levels of energy, competency and good intentions don’t matter that much.  Without energy you can’t put any of it into practice.  So, for me managing my energy is vital for achieving any goals I have for today.  I’m guessing it will be the same for you.

So try some of these natural strategies for energising yourself and I would love to hear from you.

PS. Please Leave Your Comments and Questions below and I Will Personally Respond to Them.

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How to overcome naysayers and create the life that you want

“Those not chasing their dreams should stay out of the way of those who are.” ― Tim Fargo

Let’s get rid of the monkey in the room right now and just say it — the world is full of naysayers. It doesn’t matter what your dreams or goals are, there’s always someone trying to bring you down. Many of them are trying to be helpful, but it doesn’t always feel that way. Allow me to be frank with you and say, if you allow naysayers to discourage you or force you off track, your life will be much less than you deserve.  To live life in your terms and create the results that you desire, you must learn how to deal with these negative people once and for all and move on.  I totally agree with Tim Fargo who said, “those not chasing their dreams should stay out of the way of those who are.”  It’s time for you to start focusing more on your own life rather than what other people are saying.  Let’s talk about how to overcome naysayers and create the life that you want, and hopefully you can take something from this post to move the needle in your life a little bit closer to the results that you want.

1. Keep your aspirations to yourself. It’s commonly suggested that you make your goals public. in fact, I’ve personally endorsed this on many occasions.  The principle behind it is that the fear of embarrassing yourself is supposed to be motivating. However, several studies have also shown that announcing your goals isn’t always a good strategy.

• The bigger your goals, the more likely you are to receive negative comments. If you’re sensitive to the criticism of others, this type of feedback can derail your efforts.  I think the important word to emphasise here is, sensitive. If you have a thicker skin than most and don’t really care what other people think of you, go ahead and announced your goals of the world.  In that case it will serve you.

• Of course, you can inform everyone when you’ve accomplished your goal!

2. Remind yourself of your positive qualities. If you’re starting to doubt yourself, remind yourself of your best qualities. Make a long list and focus on it until you’re feeling capable again. If you need help, get help from a supportive friend or coach.  The sad reality is the moment other people start questioning our goals or dreams, we follow suit and start focusing on all our weaknesses and flaws.  That’s the worst thing you can do.  It’s absolutely paramount that you focus on and keep reminding yourself of your best qualities.  I can almost guarantee you that they do outweigh your shortcomings, but it is ultimately up to you what you’re gonna focus on.  It doesn’t really matter what I say you should believe — it really comes down to what you choose to believe.

3. Avoid taking it personally. When others are unnecessarily negative, it reveals more about them than it does about you. No one knows enough about your personal business to have an accurate opinion anyway.  Stop giving people your power.  Take responsibility to stop taking it so personally.  And for goodness sake, quit sweating the small stuff.  At the end of the day, it’s all small stuff.

4. Keep your vision in mind. It’s easy to become discouraged when you’re on the receiving end of discouraging comments. Go back to the big picture and remind yourself of your goals. See in your mind how great the results will be. Imagine how satisfying it will be when you’re proven correct. Nothing is quite as sweet as achieving your goals in spite of opposition and resistance.

5. Consider the source of the feedback. Are you trying to launch your own company? Criticism from someone that’s always had a corporate job isn’t valid. Unless the other person has accomplished your goal, consider their advice worthless. You wouldn’t take stock tips from a man living on a park bench. Most of the advice we receive is similar in value.  Take most advice with a grain of salt.

• However, a mentor or credible coach can be a valuable addition to your life. The right mentors will have accomplished your goal. Perhaps they even started from a similar point as you. Ideally, they’ll also be supportive and encouraging.

6. Make a list of your greatest achievements. Write down every experience you’ve had that makes you feel successful. You’ve already done some amazing things. The naysayers in your life don’t know about most of those things. That’s just another reason why their opinions are irrelevant.

7. Learn to ignore the noise. Have faith in yourself and avoid allowing others to control your thoughts or emotions.  If you allow them to do that it is on you not them.

8. Smile. When you show others that you won’t be affected by their unkind words, they’ll eventually stop. Smiling will also improve your mood and lower your blood pressure. Smiling is also free. So smile and just keep moving forward.  Every naysayer in your life can seriously just go stuff themselves.   You don’t owe them anything and you deftly don’t have to give them your power; let them know this fact with a smile on your face

9. Rely on supportive people. We all have that friend that seems to think we can do anything. Instead of dealing with the naysayers, surround yourself with people that support your efforts and believe in you. The difference is staggering.  getting the right people around you will absolutely supercharge your results.  Make sure you have the right people around you and keep listening to them.  All the rest … well, they can go jump in the ocean.

I need you to be prepared — the naysayers will always be there. It doesn’t matter how much we wish them away, they will keep appearing in life.  However, every great achievement was preceded by numerous naysayers giving their two cents. You can’t allow others to derail your plans. Be confident that you can accomplish anything. Project your success into the future and remind yourself of your past successes.  Surround yourself with the people and keep going.

This is your time.  Make it count.

Please Leave Your Comments and Questions below and I Will Personally Respond to Them.

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11 Tips How to Self-Motivate

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation.  –A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

To achieve any result in your life or business you need a four important “contributors” to make that happen.  you can still achieve a lot by just having one of these, but the chances to create more increases exponentially when you have all four working for you. Here are the “4 Achievement Contributors” is I see them:

If I got you to write down any result or goal that you would like to achieve within the next couple of months, I would also get you to reflect on these:

How focused are you?  What are you focusing on?  What are you NOT focused on that you need to be?

How motivated are you to achieve your goals?  What motivates you most about that?  What do you need to increase your motivation even more? How do you self-motivate? What will rob you of your motivation to follow through?

How much energy do you have most of the time?  What gives you energy? What robs you of your energy? What do you need to improve, change, or do away with to increase your energy levels?

What actions/habits do you need to put in place to achieve your goal? What habits do you need to get rid of?  What action will be the hardest to take and sustain?

  In this post I won’t cover all four of these “Achievement Contributors,” but will focus on self-motivation only.  What I’ve learned is that you can have all the focus you need, but without the appropriate levels of self motivation or drive you won’t achieve much.  What will end up happening is you sitting down writing out your focus/goals on some paper or a whiteboard, but you won’t do anything about them.  To achieve our focus and move closer to our goals, we need to learn how to motivate ourselves, or self motivate.  The truth is, even the most experienced and successful achievers can use a little help getting motivated from time to time.  Motivating yourself is a learnable skill. Everyone procrastinates at times. It’s human nature. Fortunately, several tactics and strategies can lift your motivation to the critical level necessary to get yourself moving again.

In this post I simply want to share with you is 11 Tips How to Self-Motivate.  Try these techniques to motivate yourself and get things done, and see how you go.  I would love to hear from you after you’ve given them a try.  So please leave your comments after this post, below.

Choose happiness. It’s much easier to motivate yourself when you’re in a positive mood. Focus on the wonderful things in your life that fill you with gratitude. Cleaning out the garage won’t seem quite as daunting. Keep your mind on the positive things in your life.  If you wanna read an absolute awesome book about how success and high performance are in fact driven by happiness, read “The Happiness Advantage” by Sean Achor.

Learn how to be a finisher. A trail of unfinished projects can dampen anyone’s enthusiasm to start another. Avoid quitting before a task is 100% completed. You’ll be more interested in taking on new tasks when you expect to be successful. Success breeds success.

Expect mistakes. The only people that don’t make mistakes are those who never do anything. The more mistakes you make, the more you’ll learn. Mistakes can be very positive. Use them to your advantage.

Keep yourself grounded in the present. If you’re worrying about the future or beating yourself up over the past, it’s challenging to get anything accomplished right now. Focus on your breathing for a few minutes if your mind is running wild.

Focus on the result. You’ll find it difficult to get started if you sit around and think about all the work that needs to be done. Focus on the result and you’ll feel much more motivated.

Give yourself a reward. You go to work every day because you know that a paycheck is coming your way. You wouldn’t go otherwise. Give yourself a small, but meaningful, reward when your work is complete. Determine the reward before you get started.

Use a timer. Decide how long a task should take and see if you’re right. Set a timer and see if you can beat the clock. A little time pressure will help to keep you focused on your work. There are many timer apps and programs available at no cost.

Read inspirational quotes. Reading inspirational quotes by those who have achieved great success can be very motivating. Spend a few minutes reading these great quotes and you’ll be sure to experience an enhanced level of enthusiasm. Consider creating a list of quotes that you can keep nearby in case of “emergency.”

Consider the price of failure. What is the price of failing to follow through? Make a list of the negatives. Some of us are more driven by pain then we are by reward. Using both to your advantage can be powerful.

Get some exercise. If you’re felling stuck, go for a brisk walk, a short run, or skip rope. Taking a short break every 60 minutes has been shown to increase productivity. Keep your breaks short so you don’t get off track.

Measure your progress. Big goals or projects can takes years to complete. Measuring your progress along the way is a great way to keep your spirits high. Set short-term goals to keep you focused.

To achieve any result that you want in life or business, it’s important to be able to motivate yourselves. Focus, energy, and action are all important, but without the ability to self motivate and get you to the place where you actually want to do any of it, it will be hard.  The most successful people are able to harness the power of self-motivation.  Let me put it differently – successful people (whether are a supermum or CEO of a large corporation) do whatever it takes to get the job done even when they don’t feel like it.  They are willing to suffer short-term discomfort knowing that the result at the end of the day will be totally worth it.  Most people avoid discomfort and shy away from what needs to be done.  A higher level of motivation will ensure that your work gets done and done well and as quickly as possible. It’s time to get crackin!

Please Leave Any Comments and Questions below and I Will Personally Respond to Them.

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How to Give Yourself a Mental Makeover

I think anything is possible if you have the mindset and the will and desire to do it and put the time in.  ~Roger Clemens

Having a healthy mindset will ultimately help you get the results you desire in life.  Over the years I’ve coached numerous people who had all the “resources” and talent to create pretty much any result they wanted, but because they lacked the mindset to support their goals and dreams, they struggled to achieve anything.  If you’re like most people I know chances are that you might be taking great care of your body right now, yet you may not be giving much thought to your mental self. Your psychology is just as important as your physiology.  It’s time to ask yourself, “What do I do to take care of my mind and keep it in excellent shape?” In this post I want to share with you a couple of ideas on How to Give Yourself a Mental Makeover.  You can try some of them out and see which work best.  If one doesn’t work that well, move on to the other.

1. Know what makes you happy and do it every day. Take time each day to immerse yourself in something that brings joy to your life. Watch a movie, take a walk, exercise, do some crafting, build a shelf, or paint a picture. Make it a point to derive some pleasure from every single day.  It’s absolutely astonishing how many unhappy people that I meet also give very little time to what they love in life. There’s a reason why we love to do certain things; if you keep yourself from doing them the result can only be unhappiness or a sense of frustration.

2. Laugh a lot. Read jokes online. Make up funny stories. Watch comedy shows on Netflix.  Call a friend that always makes you laugh. Spend time with children and babies. Experience humour as often as you can. Laughter has many healing qualities.

3. Cultivate new interests. To keep your mind working on several different levels, try new things often. Learn a new language. Visit museums. Study a topic of interest on the internet. Make it a personal goal to learn something new each day. When you expand your reference base, YOU end up expanding which is a good thing.  This will cause you to look differently at things and as we know, the moment we change how we look at the world the world changes.

4. Play some healthy mind games. We’re talking about the ones that put your brain through some mental calisthenics. Do word searches. Work some Sudoku puzzles. Get into crosswords. Work a few math problems occasionally.  Play online chess.

• Encourage your mind to get exercise by trying out different kinds of interesting, challenging mind games from time to time. Find some new apps for your smartphone that will challenge you and make you think.

5. Recognise your own stress responses, inside and out. Knowing yourself will help you identify how you behave when exposed to stressors. Maybe you get a fever blister on your lip, eat too much, or become grouchy.  Recognise your trigger and prepare yourself with a constructive response plan once stress is triggered.  Preparation in this case is much better than cure.

• If you can train yourself to recognise when you’re stressed (early in the process), you can then proactively take steps to abolish the source of the stress or to beef up your coping strategies.

6. Express yourself. Although it might be difficult for you, do what you have to do to express your feelings to others. Whether they’re happy and fun feelings, or sad and scary feelings, develop ways to share your emotions. Holding in how you feel is rarely the path to a calm and secure mental state.  As guys we sometimes have to work hard on this one, but I believe talking about crap in your life with someone you trust is much more a sign of strength than weakness.  Cowboys do cry and need to accept that and get over ourselves.  Seek out a coach or counsellor or better, a friend.

7. Stay on top of your feelings. In the event you’re in a situation where you can’t express your feelings to someone else for a good reason, employ your writing skills to write down on paper or in your computer how you’re feeling.

• Expressing your feelings through the written word can be both freeing and effective. Keep a journal and write regularly in it.

So to summarise — Take part in activities that bring joy and laugh frequently. Constantly find new interests and play games that give your mind a work-out. Know your own reactions to stress and do whatever’s necessary to express yourself.  When you concentrate on following through with these suggestions, you’ll give your mind a fantastic work-out. And when your mind is in peak condition, so are you!  Like I said earlier, choose one of these tips and apply it for a while.  If it works, awesome, but if not simply move on to another.

I would love to hear from you.

Please leave your comments and questions below and I will personally respond.

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Top 10 Habits to Eliminate if You Want to be Happy

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.   -Dalai Lama

What a powerful idea –the fact that happiness is not something ready made, but rather something that I can experience through my actions and what I choose to do.  Mahatma Gandhi once said that happiness is when what you think, say and do are in harmony.  If we buy into the wisdom of these great teachers and leaders, then it seems you and I have the power to be happy at will.  All we have to do is choose to be happy.  And the best way to choose to be happy, is by doing things that create happiness within us.  We don’t have to wait for anyone or something else to make us happy.  We can experience happiness every day if we build habits into our life that create it.  This is a truly powerful idea.  The reality however, is that many of our habits make happiness elusive and not certain.  we have to understand that habits were both ways and can create happiness as well as unhappiness.  Now, I’d be the first one to admit that changing your habits isn’t easy, but it can be done if you’re focused and committed.  So in this post I want to share with you the Top 10 Habits to Eliminate if You Want to be Happy.

If you want to be happy you must be willing to challenge the status quo.

Avoid these next 10 habits and you’ll be well on your way to enjoying greater happiness in your life.

1. Concerning yourself with the opinions of others. You could be perfect in every possible way, and someone will still criticise you. There’s no possible way to impress everyone. Instead, focus on making yourself happy and surround yourself with those who are happy for you.  Plus, who cares what others think of you anyway.  The only opinion about you that matters is your own.

2. Engaging in negative self-talk. There’s no reason to make life even more challenging. Negative self-talk is destructive and will program your mind in a way that will only bring more unhappiness.  You must learn how to reframe things and replace any negative self-talk with something positive and constructive.

3. Always wanting more than you have. If you’re living under a park bench, it’s natural to want a home. But as long as you have what you need, wanting more can be a source of stress and frustration. Strive for more if you like, but be reasonable. No one needs a personal jet or a $10 million home.  I’ve lived in a “free” house and a $600k one, and been in a mutli-million dollar house – at the end of the day they all consist out of walls and a roof.  Nature is my gym and the ocean my swimming pool, so I don’t need those.  Studies have also shown that once your basics needs are taken care of, there isn’t much difference in terms of the happiness money can provide you.  So money is important, don’t get me wrong, but perhaps the amount is smaller than we might think.

4. Comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own unique strengths, weaknesses, past, and challenges. If you want to make a reasonable comparison, compare your current situation to your situation 5 years ago. If you’ve made progress, celebrate. If you haven’t, figure out why and get busy.  We’re all on our own journey so don’t confuse your own with someone else’s.

5. Beating yourself up over mistakes. Mistakes are a daily part of life. Learn from them and move on toward a brighter future. Has torturing yourself ever provided any benefit?  Has hanging onto shit every improved your life?  My guess is, no, it hasn’t.  So let it go.

6. Blaming others. Believing that someone else is a cause of the difficulty you’re experiencing is harmful, because you lose control. If you believe that your situation is your own doing, you have the power to fix it. Regardless of whom is to blame, it’s still your responsibility to handle it.  If it is to be, it’s up to me.  Own that!

7. Saying “yes” to every request. Most of us need a little down time to regenerate. By saying yes to everything, you rob yourself of this important time. You’ll also find yourself spending time on many activities that you simply don’t enjoy. Learn to say “no” when necessary.  I wrote a post on how to say “no” more often, so check it out here.

8. Waiting for perfect conditions. Whether you’re waiting for the perfect time to get married or have children or start your own business, that perfect time will never arrive. Get started right away on the activities that mean the most to you. Time is ticking away.  There is no tomorrow.  Only this moment.

9. Avoiding new experiences. What’s the point in living the same day repeatedly? You only have so many years on Earth. Get the most out of it and live a life of many experiences.

10. Trying to change too much at once. Humans are remarkably adaptable in the long term. However, it’s very challenging to make major changes in the short term. Make smaller changes in your life and build upon them. You can’t change much in a week, but you can make major changes over a year or more.

Ask yourself, Are my habits adding to my happiness or robbing me of it?  We must realise that our habits create our life.  There are no two ways about it.  We can argue as debate as much as we want but ultimately life comes down to what we do.  If we do something long enough we WILL get a certain result.  The only question is, what will that result be.  One we like or not.

I challenge you to evaluate your habits right now and determine which are negatively affecting your ability to enjoy life and which are good to keep. Now is the time.

Now is the time to live life on your terms.

Please leave your comments and questions below and I will personally respond to it.

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Essential Tips for How to Age Well

We are not victims of aging, sickness and death. These are part of scenery, not the seer, who is immune to any form of change. This seer is the spirit, the expression of eternal being.

-Deepak Chopra

One of the greatest complements someone can give me is, “it seem like you’re just getting younger and younger the older you get.”  I love it.  3 years ago I was fat, unhappy and my health was in trouble, but getting old before my time was of no concern to me.  I ate and drank unhealthily like there was no tomorrow.  Looking back now, especially at photos, I cannot believe how nutrition and lifestyle can affect your “age.”  Here I am 3 years ago at my heaviest (115kg / 253 Lbs),

and here’s a photo of me earlier this year (2015)

Getting older is a part of life and takes a toll on the body, mind, and spirit.  No doubt about it.  However, you can age well and stay happy by following some simple advice from “experts” and people who are actually aging well themselves.  I completely believe the idea that for every result you want to create, someone else has already done it.  All you need to do is learn what they did (are doing) and replicate it for you own results.  So in this post I will share with you some Essential Tips for How to Age Well. 

1. Reduce the stress. Stress can sap your energy and affect your mood. Stress releases the hormone cortisol which is an emergency type hormone and isn’t supposed to be in your system for extended periods of time.  Living with stress will keep cortisol levels high which can age you before your time.  Experts recommend reducing the stress in your life by analysing the causes and doing something about them.

• What are the biggest causes of stress in your life? Is it an annoying relative or a difficult coworker? You may want to examine your life and look for the sources of stress. Once you find them, you can work on eliminating them or reducing contact with the people or things that create stress.

• Stress can affect you on a cellular level and age you.

2. Keep your mind active. One of the key factors to aging well is to have an active mind. From doing crossword puzzles, playing chess, to reading new books, you can keep your brain cells active.  Avoid the belief, I’m too old.” In fact, avoid people who talk like that, whether they’re 30 or 80 years old. They’re bad for your health!

• Try new activities that work your mind. This is an essential way to avoid boredom and find new experiences to share with others. For example, try learning a new language or cooking a different type of cuisine.

3. Exercise and stay in shape. Exercise is an essential part of aging well. It keeps your body healthy and helps the mind.  This includes and assumes eating and drinking healthily, and staying away from crap like cigarettes or too much caffeine.

• Exercise has multiple benefits including increased flexibility, improved circulation, and better muscle tone. Researchers have found that exercise can help reduce the risk of chronic health issues that make aging a difficult process.

4. Explore the world around you. As you age, it’s important to stay curious and involved in the world around you. Avoid boredom and depression by being involved.

• Travel is a popular hobby for retirees, but it’s not the only way to explore the world. If you’re on a limited budget and can’t travel, then consider taking a class about a different country. You can also read books, visit local community centers, and interact with immigrants from various countries.  Join some sports club and get involved with Masters competitors.  I had a guy take up sprinting (track and field) at age 55 recently. I’m coaching him before he competes and also prove the point that age is not a factor … unless you make it one.

5. Stay socially engaged. Isolation is one of the biggest issues of aging. As you get older, you may interact less with friends and family.

• Isolation is dangerous because it can have a negative impact on your health and lead to depression and anxiety.

• It’s important to stay involved in your community and social circle. Attend parties with friends, throw family reunions, or visit others. Your social network will help you stay engaged and happy.  I know people happy and healthy in their 90’s and they’re also quite incidentally some of the most social and involved people I know.

6. View aging from a different perspective. Your thoughts about aging can affect the quality of your life. Although aging involves changes, it also presents opportunities for growth and learning.  My uncle taught me many years ago that silver hair is a sign of wisdom and should be something to aspire to, not avoid or scoff at.

• Researchers note that senior citizens who have positive attitudes toward aging are less likely to have chronic health issues. Your attitude can affect your mind and your body, so pay attention to your thoughts.  Like I said earlier, people who complain about being too old are bad for you health … literally!

• Aging can bring the loss of loved ones, retirement from work, and other life transformations. However, the way you view these changes can have a great impact on your life. Instead of accepting limitations, you can search for ways to overcome them or get past them.

Aging doesn’t have to mean the end for fun or happiness in your life. You can age happily and successfully with a few adjustments, starting with you mind and habits.  This is your time to get out there and live the life you desire.  Why wait?  No one’s coming to get you. You need to step up and step out.  Stop using excuses and start creating results.  What can you do today to get off the couch and get back in the game?  I ask you whether you’re 30, 40 or 90 years old.  Remember, somewhere out there, there is someone just like you living the life and doing the stuff you’re only dreaming or talking about.  This is your time.  Make it happen.

Please leave your comments and questions below and I will personally respond to them.

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5 Ways To Be A Better Partner

Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone.  –Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Let me be clear from the start here – I decided to write this post not because I’m by any means perfect but rather because I needed to remind myself of what’s required to make a great marriage or relationship.  I also needed a scapegoat because I know my wife will read this :).  The truth is marriage can be the greatest blessing of your life, but it takes a lot of work to maintain a close, intimate relationship for a long time.  Chuck some kids and pets, a career or business demands and/or general life curve balls in there, and marriage becomes a real juggling act.  I think people who genuinely manage to create a great marriage are something to look up to.  As Rocky said, it ain’t all sunshine and rainbows, it will knock you down and keep you down if you let it.  Reality is, sometimes it seems as though the odds are against the success of marriage, but I believe and know there are many things we can do to keep building the relationships we desire in order to climb in bed at the end of the day feeling truly fulfilled and happy.  I pick being married over being single every day of the week -assuming of course both my partner and I belong together and make a real attempt to create something beautiful that’s enjoyable and lasting.  So, in this post I  will share 5 Ways To Be A Better Partner – that’s right – a great relationship starts with YOU, not you partner.  What I’ve learned is that in order to be happily married you need to work harder on yourself than your marriage.  Do that and the rest will follow.   By taking these simple steps, you can continue to experience the intimacy and fulfillment you crave within your marital relationship:

Accept your spouse’s faults. Your spouse may be perfect for you, but they will make mistakes.  YOU, will make mistakes.  Everyone has their faults, and a healthy marriage relationship is built on forgiveness and an environment of safety where you can be who you are without fear.  You need to learn how to let go and fast. Seek to create that type of environment and watch your relationship blossom.

Remember that having different interests is healthy. Celebrate your differences. Seek to enjoy the things your spouse is interested in, and your spouse will likely show more interest in your passions. Show that what’s important to them is important to you also, and your significant other will have no doubt that you love them.

  Be willing to compromise. In marriage, it’s important to pick your battles wisely or at all.  Some of the things you do will annoy each other, but it’s important to provide the grace and compassion that makes the other person feel valued. Be willing to give up your way on the small things, and your spouse will likely reciprocate.  Don’t sweat the small stuff or the small stuff will destroy you.

  Ensure both parties contribute. Marriage is a two-person system. Having just one person run everything will make things challenging for both of you, and your frustration and anger levels will erupt eventually. Whether it’s the bills or chores around the house, divide the tasks so that you make it easy for both of you.  Division of chores are one of the most common reasons couple fight or get annoyed with each other.  “I did this and you only did that”-type of thinking is a killer if allowed to run free.

This is also true for recreation. When deciding how to spend your time together, take turns choosing what to do. If you have a movie night, make it a double feature so that each person is guaranteed a movie that they enjoy.

The 50/50 rule is a good basis for this. With this set-up, both partners play their part in the relationship and no one is superior to the other. As it should be, both become equal partners in the relationship.  Also realise that there are times when 50/50 doesn’t apply or work.  Life is strange and interesting at times, and there might come a season where you need to do 80% while your partner can only contribute 20%. And that’s OK.  Seasons change, just make sure you were there for them when they needed you in their winter time.

  Show them that you care. A lot of times, when a couple has been together for a long time, they settle into a routine and forget the little things. Each person in the relationship assumes that the other knows how he or she feels. Instead, date your spouse like you did when you first got together. You’ll be shocked at the results.  I love the saying, treat your partner as in the beginning of your relationship and there won’t be an end to it.

Show your appreciation and love for your spouse in small, everyday ways. When you do this consistently, you will notice a dramatic improvement in your marriage almost overnight. Small, inexpensive, thoughtful gifts throughout the year say more about your affection than one large gift on your anniversary. Say: “thank you” and “I love you” often.

  Common courtesy is king. When in doubt, use the golden rule. Treat your spouse how you wish to be treated. Be considerate and thoughtful. Always be looking for new ways to express your love.  What I’ve learned is, small and consistent beat big and occasionally.

Be supportive of your spouse. When he feels down, do what you can to let him know you stand behind him. When she’s had a rough day, pamper her and show her through your actions that she matters to you more than anyone else in this world.

  Marriage can be a complicated road sometimes, but it can also be the source of tremendous happiness and joy for both of you. I know many frustrated and unhappy couple thinking of cashing in, but I also know many truly happy and content couples who love what they have in each other.  If we want to have the type of relationship, it starts with us as individuals.  You have to start today to take small steps, commit to loving your spouse with all your heart, and savour a marriage filled with passion, excitement, and a fulfilling journey through life together.  You can’t wait for you partner to do all that no matter how much you feel justified in feeling that way.  Make the first step and you might be surprised by the results.  And if they don’t respond, well that just tells me you haven’t tried something that really presses their buttons. Change your strategy until you get the result and reaction you desire.

Hope this served you today.

Please leave your comments and questions below and I will personally respond to them.

[gidzstuff]

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How to use love languages to strengthen your relationship

“Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.” ― Gary Chapman

Years ago I was introduced to a book that changed my life and view of relationships forever. It was “Men are from Mars, Women and from Venus” by John Grey.  It blew my mind and even though the information in it was so simple and almost common sense, really made me look at the female energy completely differently.  Years later I was introduced to another life changing book, this time by a guy called Gary Chapman who wrote about what is now widely known as “The Five Love Languages.”  The premise of this book is also very simple, but like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, profound in every sense.  It basically states that everyone needs to feel loved.  This is a basic intrinsic human need.  And in order to experience love in the most intimate level it’s vital to know how you enjoy being loved, but also how to properly love others.  In this post I simply want to show you how to use love languages to strengthen your relationship.  I work with coaching clients all the time who come to me for relationship “advice” and support, and I have to say that 9 times out of 10, poor communication of affection and love due to ignorance is the major culprit.  Even in my own marriage and relationships with my kids, I know when I’m operating inside or outside their love languages.  How do I know?  Well, results tell me.  When you “speak” someone’s language they understand and respond – when you don’t, you get frustration and poor results.

There is a basic breakdown of five different love languages to make it easier for us to identify how to express ourselves to our loved ones. Once you’ve figured out what your partner’s love language is you’ll be able to show them how you feel in a way that is fulfilling to them.  This is a simple but powerful premise.

For example, let’s say that your partner likes to hear the words “I love you” often. Even though they know that you love them, just hearing the phrase can brighten their day. But perhaps you thought that you should express your love by buying little gifts. Your loved one likely appreciates the gesture whenever you show your love, but at the same time it’s not their personal preference of how they like to receive love.  This would be like speaking in Italian to someone who speaks Spanish.  Some sounds might be familiar but overall, you’d be communication past each other. Do this long enough and communication becomes a hindrance.

The Love Languages Explained

Verbal Lovers. Like the example above, some people just like to hear gestures of love such as “I love you” and “I appreciate everything that you do.” For this type of person, you’ll want to provide constant encouragement, never letting things go unsaid.

Try verbalising your appreciations in some way each day.

Don’t assume your partner knows what you’re thinking and feeling – speak up!

Time Well Spent. One of the love languages has to do with spending quality time with your partner. This doesn’t mean just casual conversation; it means the times where your partner is your main focus. If your partner enjoys quality time, here are some things to consider:

Choose a certain time each day or week where you’re completely dedicated to your partner. This means that you need to shut off the TV, put down the phone, and take some away from the kids.

Think of activities you can do together to really connect.

Make sure you have a good relationship with yourself; it’s the only way you can truly connect with your partner.

The Gift Giver. Another love language is one where your partner may enjoy giving and receiving gifts. This isn’t because they’re greedy; it means they’re visual people who enjoy seeing proof of your deepening relationship. If you’re with this type of partner, try these tips:

Even if you’re a big saver, make the effort to spend at least a little money or make some homemade or handmade gifts.

Leave loving cards and notes for them.

Don’t give gifts everyday, but give gifts that are meaningful.

Acts of Service. We can’t forget acts of service when it comes to a language of communication between partners. Since there are many things that need to get done around the house, it often causes problems when you try to figure out who’s doing what. Keep these tips in mind:

Everyone has different acts of service or chores that they deem important.

Figure out which ones your partner doesn’t enjoy and do them.

Chores involve thinking ahead, which your partner will certainly appreciate.

Physical Affection. The physical affection love language can get complicated. Expressing your love physically doesn’t only mean lovemaking. It involves simple touches too. Each partner will usually have some kind of opinion when it comes to this language:

Figure out which kinds of touches your partner enjoys, it may be a gentle rub of their shoulders or some cuddling while watching television.

This is equally important, figure out which touches irritate your partner.

Get to know your partner’s moods so you know when to express physical affection.

The Combination

Your partner will likely speak a certain combination of these love languages. As your relationship deepens, you’ll get to know your partner better and better. It may even help to outright discuss the topic of love languages with your partner to better understand each other.

If you completely in the dark about any of these, there is a way to help you get started.  Since the love languages have become a very popular thing, many online tools have been created to help you assess your specific love language and also that of your partner’s ( and children’s).

You can click on this link and fill out the quick online test to discover your love language (and typical combination).  You can also get your partner to fill out theirs, as this would make a great topic of conversation at the next date night

I did mine and here are my scores:

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

Words of Affirmation

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

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Two Strange Questions That Might Change How You Live Life

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.  –Bruce Lee

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by life. It’s even easier giving up saying, “Stuff it all!” But, it there is a better way.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that we all have the inner power to change our lives and create our own destiny.  And it can call happen with something simple as asking yourself some new questions.  You might actually be surprised at how much you can benefit from asking yourself just a couple of new questions! Your questions have the ability to help you determine if you’re on track to reaching your goals or make you see things for what they are.  They can enable you to make action plans that will get you from A to Z instead of just worrying about things.  In this post I want to give you two strange questions that might change how you live life.  Ask yourself these two questions regularly:

1. “If an invisible person followed you around all day, what would they see?” Would they see you wasting a lot of time? Would they see you working at your goals? Would they see someone that is just going through the motions?

• Our lives are largely the result of the actions that we take each day – the sum if our daily habits.  Are you taking actions that move you forward to the future you desire or are you engaged in time-wasting, worthless activity?

• What would that invisible person logically conclude about you, your life, and your future?

2. “If you lived that average day, every day, for the next 5 years, what is the logical outcome?” So if you kept living your average day over and over, where is your life likely to end up? Now compare that logical conclusion with the life you’d like to have. How close are they?

• Are you likely to end up where you want to be financially? Are you currently taking consistent action to have the financial life you desire?

• Are you likely to have the body that you want? Are you eating healthily and exercising regularly? Or are you waiting to start tomorrow, or Monday, or the first of the month, or the first of the year? Getting the body you want will take while, so you might as well start today.

• Are you likely to be enjoying the type of relationships you desire? If you want to meet your dream wife, how many new women have you spoken to in the last week? How many have you asked out?

• Are you likely to be advancing in the career you seek? For example, based on your performance over the last year, do you think it’s probable that you’ll get that manager position anytime soon? Are you any closer to having that small business running profitably?

Now you can make some reasonable plans and create some good habits. What do you need to do on a consistent basis to achieve the life you hope for? If you want to lose a few centimeters off your waist and weigh 30kg less, then your daily actions need to reflect that.

People largely fail to end up where they wish to be for two reasons:

1. They have no idea where they’re going. You can’t get there if you don’t know the destination. If you don’t have a plan, you must live by default, sitting around until something goes wrong and then spending your energy fixing the issue. Alternatively, if you spend your energy driving towards something, you’ll eventually get there.

2. They don’t do the things each day that will create the life they want. In spite of what many gurus seem to claim, you can’t wish your way to success. Success is the result of making positive decisions and taking actions that reflect those decisions.

Ask yourself the two strange questions above. You might be shocked when you really look at your average day and realise where you’re likely to end up as a result of doing those same things every day. It doesn’t take a lot to be very successful, but it does take consistency.

For instance, imagine if you did 1 pushup every day this week and added 1 pushup a week. In 5 years you would be doing 250 pushups a day and you would never struggle for a minute.  I used to add 1 push a day until I maxed out – in the end I did about 700+ per week.  Some might look at this and go – that’s nothing! I disagree!  It’s more than what I used to do and I was moving toward my goals, instead of sitting on the couch.

In the same way, establishing daily habits that move you forward toward achieving your goals will result in your success. So which habit will you start today?

PS. Please leave your comments and questions below and I will personally respond to them.

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8 Unhelpful Thought Patterns That Limit Your Success

Change your thoughts and you change your world.  ~Norman Vincent Peale

What a powerful idea.  Our thoughts are the key to unlocking the life that we want.  Our thoughts impact our actions, and ultimately, the level of success we achieve. Our thought patterns influence our emotions and perspective of the world.  Earl Nightingale once said, we become what we think about most of the time.  Many of us often make the mistake  to look outside of ourselves when we want to improve our lives and the results were getting. Yet, the answer to better results lies a lot closer than we think.  In fact, it resides within us. What we think and how we think determine everything  our life.  Therefore, it is only logical to come to the conclusion that if you can identify your unhelpful thought patterns, you can correct them and develop new ways of managing yourself and the world.  In this post I want to give you 8 Unhelpful Thought Patterns That Limit Your Success.  Become aware of them and make every attempt to get rid of them as quickly as you can.

1. Making assumptions. This is the old, don’t judge a book by its cover idea.  The fact is, good decisions require information. Too many of us jump to false conclusions because we don’t have all the facts. Before you reach a negative conclusion about a situation or person, delay your judgment. Gather all the available information and make an informed decision.  Jumping to conclusions and making decisions based on assumptions, are the best way to set yourself up for some humble pie later on.  I’ve learned this lesson the hard way in recent weeks … again.  This is an unhelpful for thought pattern that will limit your success, because it makes you close minded and closed off for possible opportunities and new experiences.

• How many times have you made a decision too quickly and regretted it? Give yourself the chance to be right.

2. Applying the past to the future. The most beautiful girl in high school might have ignored you, but that has nothing to do with your ability to appeal to the woman of your dreams today. The past doesn’t have to equal the future.  This thought alone can transform your life.  So many of us have an internal story (belief system) that we tell ourselves.  Unfortunately, if you do this long enough, after while you’ll start believing it and live up to it.  It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  The past is good to learn from, but that’s about it.  We shouldn’t be ignorant about the past, but we need to be careful to define the future by the past.  The Ancient Scriptures say that there is nothing new in this world, and what was will be again.  I believe this.  However,  I don’t believe it means we can use the past as a perfect blueprint and prediction of the future.  If you do this in your personal life, you will severely handicap yourself and any potential result you are capable of.

• The truth is that we’re too quick to believe we’re “experts” regarding our own abilities and potential. Unfortunately, we often use failures as indicators for our ability and potential. Therefore, allow me to say this very bluntly – one failure isn’t enough to prove anything – it doesn’t mean sh!t.

• Let me ask you this – would you believe that a flipped coin would only land on “heads” in the future after flipping it once or twice and getting that result?  Of course not.  So, why do it to yourself?

• Even if you lack natural skill in one area, you can always learn. You weren’t born knowing how to walk or do algebra. In fact, some experts believe that learning how to walk is one of the hardest skills to master.  Yet, most of us thought nothing of it when we were toddlers. We simply tried because it was part of a natural process to get further in life.  However, somewhere along the line as we grow older,  many of us lose this in a inner drive to keep pushing the boundaries of what is possible, and we buy into this idea that we are limited in our potential.   You can learn to be a great public speaker, salesperson, or social butterfly, too.

Tony Robbins once said, The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.

3. Focusing too much on the positive or the negative. Strive to be accurate. Consider when you start dating someone new. At first, you’re too focused on their positive traits. As the relationship is failing, you’re too focused on the negative. Neither is accurate.  One of the greatest skills we can teach ourselves, is awareness.  The more awareness we have in any given situation, the more options we have. And the more options we have, the more power we have the correct results we want.  When we live on autopilot, with out any form of awareness, we limit our ability to be truly impactful and successful.  Think of it like this – if I took someone from the country who knew very little of the city, and place them in the city asking him/her to get around – how would they fare against someone from the city who had greater awareness of city life?  Who will have the most power to exercise the better choices in that environment?  But, what of the roles were reversed?  What if you put the city slicker on a farm – who would have the most awareness in power in that environment?  Generally speaking, each to their own of course.  We also need to develop awareness within our own situations and environments, in order to function optimally and create the results that we want.  How do you create awareness?  Easy.  Learn to slow down and pay attention.   

4. Giving things too much or too little relevance. Do you give your failures too much attention? Do you give your successes too little? Have a balanced view. Just because your boss ignored your morning greeting doesn’t mean you’re about to be fired. Give yourself the credit you deserve.  A question that I have taught many of my clients that has served them well is, “is that really true?”  Reading something into nothing is a common but limiting thought pattern.  We need to learn how to take a breath, stand back, and ask ourselves what is really going on here, before we react.  Getting into the habit of paying too much attention to our failures, and too little attention to our successes, will make it very hard for you to be happy and live life freely.  You need to realise that as with most things in life, this is only a perspective that you choose to apply to your life.  And since you’re the one applying it, you can also un-apply it.

5. Taking something personally that has nothing to do with you. People do and say things for many reasons that don’t include you. They might be having a bad day or dealing with a personal issue. Your car breaking down doesn’t mean the universe is out to get you. Others have more on their mind than just you.  To put it bluntly – the world does not revolve around you.  So get off your high horse, and get on with things.  Or as Richard Carlson says in his little gem of a book, don’t sweat the small stuff … it is all small stuff.   Let go of being overly sensitive.

6. Focusing on the past. I call this one, being a garbage collector.  As already mentioned the past can provide powerful lessons. However, most people don’t use the past constructively. They focus on the missed opportunities and mistakes. They live in the past.  They gather and hoard garbage from the past, and then live in it.   I know this is a crude image, but living in the past is worse.  When used this way, the past creates feelings of regret. Let go of the past and avoid allowing it to limit your future.  Here’s a big idea that might set you free if you’re a “garbage collector” – no matter how much you choose to focus on the past, nothing will change it.  No amount of worry or stress or self punishment will change what has happened.  The only thing that will create a new future, is a new decision in the present.  Let go, and move on. It really is that easy.

7. Focusing on the future. I call this one, being a fortuneteller.  Having goals and plans is great! But many use the future as a source of worry, so they never act.  These are the people that live as if they have some crystal ball in which they can see the future while others can’t.  They live under the yoke of the “what if’s” and are paralysed by fear.  They call it something else of course, but in reality it’s only fear.  Here’s a simple solution – stay focused on today. Today is the only time you can change your life. This moment as the only moment that is real.  There is no yesterday or tomorrow.  It is the decisions we make in each moment that ultimately determine our destiny.  We can make decisions only in this moment.   So if you want to do something, do it now.  Let go of the worry of what might happen.  Rather concern yourself with the question, what if I choose not to act and this is my last moment?  Allow the future to arrive at its own time. It will come soon enough.  You don’t need to help it along.  Focus on living in the present and let the future unfold as it will.

8. Putting things off. This unhelpful for pattern is much the same as number seven.  Life is unpredictable at the best of times.  therefore, putting things off is a useless exercise.  Let me ask you this – is it easier to have your muffler replaced when you notice it’s getting louder and louder or to wait until it falls off in the middle of the highway? If you wait until you’re forced to deal with things, your solutions will often be less elegant and less effective. That is of course best case scenario.  Worst case scenario, is that you never get the chance to do the things that you wanted to do.  If there is something major and important you need to do, I encourage you to finish reading this post and go into it now.

Well, I hope I served you today.

Spend some time and reflect on some of the unhelpful thought patterns that you might have in your life.  This list of eight is by no means exhausted, there are many other limiting thought patterns.  Yet, these are the most common in my experience and you are bound to relate to at least one of them.  So have the awareness of what’s going on in your own mind, and make the changes needed today to move yourself closer to success in your life.  It is time to get rid of these unhelpful thought patterns that limit your success.

PS. please leave your comments and questions below, and I will personally respond to them.

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The Lies You Tell Yourself Limit You To Enjoy Life Fully

“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Let me ask you a question – if you had to guess, what would the absolute best way be the guarantee that you do not achieve any of your goals in life?  Now, I’m not sure what you answered, but I am sure that if you wanted to you could come up with many ways that guarantee you from not achieving outcomes you want in life.  True?  I know it is for me. He gave me sometime and I had to make a list, I could come up with a very long list and many ways they would guarantee 100% that I want to achieve life that I want.  But, I do believe there is a way that beat all else.  if you do this one, your chances to achieve any of your goals are really between slim and none.  And it is this – lying to yourself.

The moment you cannot tell yourself the truth and face it head-on, you stacking the odds against yourself.

Now, the truth is that we lie to ourselves on a daily basis.   This is just what we do. Let me give you a few examples – we lie to ourselves whether we are really hungry not, whether we really need a new shirt or pair of shoes, whether we can really afford something, whether we really like job or not, whether we have time and energy to do the things there are important or not, and so on and so on.  I believe we tell ourselves lies to protect ourselves, or at least create the illusion of protection, but this is a misplaced intention with dire consequences in the long run.

What I learned in my research in psychology and altering human behaviour, is that our ego doesn’t like rejection and falling short and so it avoids it at all cost.  And so it does everything in its power to keep us “safe” and out of harm’s way.  The only problem with this is, all the good stuff lie beyond discomfort and so-called “harms way.  Our ego gets us to start telling ourselves stories about what’s really going on in our lives.  And these stories usually take the form of lies and the main character is fear.  Our ego uses fear to paralyse us into inaction.  And these lies furthermore aim to cover up our perceived shortcomings and prevent us from taking risks, which ultimately limit our lives and our ability to enjoy life fully.

In the end, our lies serve the purpose of making us feel better in the short-term, but miss out on the good life in the long-term.

The challenge I want to pose to you in this post is very simple – make a conscious decision to become aware of how much  you like yourself every day, and then choose to cease lying to yourself and aim to start living in the truth.

Here are a couple of lies that we tell ourselves.  Read through them, think about them, and challenge them if they come up in your life.

1. “I don’t have a choice.” We all have an unlimited number of options available to us at any time. You might not feel brave or capable enough to consider them all, but you do have options. Consider what advice you would give a friend in a similar situation. Or determine what your most capable friend would do. Can you do the same?

2. “If I do X or say Y, people will think less of me.” Thought it’s hard to believe, no one really cares. Everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives or else wondering what your opinion is of them.

• If you believe you’re worthy, you won’t have these types of thoughts. You’re good enough to do and say what you want.

3. “It’s too late for me.” People have graduated from medical school in their 60’s. An 80-year old successfully climbed Mount Everest. Do you still think it’s too late?

• Many things become less convenient as we get older. For example, it’s more challenging to go back to school when you have a family and a full-time job compared to a single, 20-year old. But challenging and impossible are two completely different things.  Make sure you know the difference.

4. “Anything short of perfect is failure.” If you have to be the best at something before you’ll try, you’ll never get off the couch. Most of us don’t have the potential to be the best at anything, but we can all be pretty good at just about anything. However, it requires time and effort.

• Do you really need to be the best? That’s another sign of feeling unworthy. There’s no reason to be competitive with everything you do. Enjoy yourself without worrying about how well you’re doing.  Challenge yourself as much as you like, but keep it in perspective. There will always be someone else who comes along and beat you.  This is a fact of life.  So push yourself, but don’t stay on the couch because you worried about not being the best.  And even if you absolutely do want to be the best, you still have to make a start somewhere and work for it anyway!

5. “I’d be happy if I had more money.” Studies have shown that happiness and income are only correlated up to a salary of roughly $70,000 per year. That means that millionaires are no happier than those that make $70,000 annually. If you can pay your bills each month, money isn’t limiting your happiness. I would also challenge you to sit down and do this next exercise.  Take a piece of paper and a pen and start listing your expenses every month.  After that, list the things that you would like to do  every month.  My challenge is to stay real  and don’t be unrealistic like, “I want to buy an island every month.”  That’s just ridiculous.  So after you have your expenses and your monthly desires written down, also write down the one or two big things that you would like to do per year.  Now, add it all up. Just make a rough equation and get to some estimate number.  If you’ve done this truthfully, chances are that that number is much smaller than the one you’ve imagined.  And if you don’t believe me, you can go one step further, and research the actual cost of everything that you wrote down and add it all up.  You will probably find that it’s still a small number than first imagined.  To give you good example, I did mine, and if I did absolutely everything that I wanted including visiting family overseas once or twice a year, that number is still under $20,000 a month. Break that down, I have to find a way to make roughly around $666 per day to make that a reality.  Break it down even further, and that comes down to roughly about $83.25 per hour if I worked for eight hours a day.  Suddenly, my dream life doesn’t seem that unattainable.

6. “I can change him (or her).” Unlikely. Think about how hard is to change yourself, even when you want to change. Now imagine how difficult it is to change someone else. And that other person probably doesn’t want to change. It isn’t going to happen.  also, you need to realise you’re “competing” with a central nervous system nine amino acid peptide in your brain called Oxycontin.  Oxycontin plays a major role in our bonding with other people.  Consequently our attachment to people can be unrealistic and “blind” and we need to realise when it is time to walk away.  What I’ve learned about human transformation is that people often do more for others they care about than for themselves. If he or she is not changing  for you now, chances are it will never happen.  People need to want to change before they do.  You can stick around and wait and hope that he or she finds that reason quickly, or you can equally ask yourself, whose happiness is most important in this situation right now, and move on.

7. “I’m limited in my ability to accomplish anything.” It has been said that learning to walk and talk are far more challenging than anything else anyone has ever accomplished. You’re probably saying to yourself, “Well, everyone can walk and talk.” Exactly. You’re infinitely more capable than you need to be.

• You may have a few issues to resolve, but your inherent capability isn’t one of them.

You need to realise that we are masters at deluding ourselves. We lie to the person in the mirror in order to protect ourselves – to make us feel better.   That’s just a fact.  It’s nothing to get negative about or stress over.  You just need to learn how to deal with it.  Choose to avoid giving up your future in order to appease your emotions in the short-term.  This is a simple choice you and I can make.  Ultimately, the lies you tell yourself limit you to enjoy life fully.  It could be argued that the purpose of all self-help is to learn how to lie to ourselves less frequently. Well, if that’s the case let’s try it.  You could be the next great thing since sliced bread

PS. Please Leave Your Comments and Questions below and I Will Respond to Them Personally.

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How to Raise Your Standards to Change Your Life

“If you want to change your life you have to raise your standards.” ~Anthony Robbins

One of the most powerful things you can do to change any aspect of your life or result that you’re getting, is make a new decision.  Make a decision  and commitment to raise you standards.  Mike Ditka, the great football coach of the Chicago Bears, has often said, “You get what you tolerate.”  True words.  If your life right now is less than you’d like it to be, it is most possible your standards are too low.  What you demand of yourself is feeble.

As an example, one of the reasons Donald Trump makes so much money is that only making $1 million per year is totally unacceptable to him.  In fact, he associates so much pain with under-achieving that he pushes himself to the limited. Granted, the man has made some mistakes and doesn’t have the greatest hairdo in the world, but you have to admire what he demands of himself and his business.  He knows how to create results at a massive scale.

If you want to move the needle in your life, you will have to get very real and honest with yourself before you can create new results.  Let’s answer a question or two first.  Are you comfortable with only making $50k per year? Are you OK with being 20 lbs. (10kg)  overweight? Are you satisfied with a marriage without much intimacy and playfulness?  Are you okay with marrying someone that hits you a few times a year and verbally abuses you the rest of the time?

Whatever applies to you and your situation, the same principle goes for us all – If you don’t raise your standards, you’re stuck and will remain so until you change something. Ask yourself – What is the outcome of that standard?

You’re likely to end up with whatever is acceptable to you and little more.

Some ideas how to raise your standards and enrich your life:

1. Your standards determine the lower level of what’s acceptable to you. What’s the least you’re willing to accept in your life? What do you really want? You won’t sink below your standards, but you won’t rise too far above them either. When your standards have been violated, you’ll get busy in a hurry to change your situation.

2. You can raise your standards at any time. Your standards are entirely up to you. You have the right to thrive. You weren’t put on the planet to just exist and scrape by. Determine your own destiny.

3. Your most important standards deal with your own conduct. Are you willing to tolerate being late again? Procrastination? Letting your family down? Not speaking up for yourself? Making changes in this area will have the greatest impact because all aspects of your life are influenced. Become a more effective person by raising your expectations of your behaviour.

4. Determine a standard you’re committed to raising. Perhaps you’d like to make more money or take more calculated risks in life. What would impact your life the most? How would your behaviour change if you adopted that new standard?

5. Visualise success in that area. Imagine yourself in that high-paying job or enjoying time with better friends. Focus on the feeling it generates. That feeling will draw you to your new standards like a magnet.

6. Take aggressive action. You’ll know when your new standards have taken hold because your behaviour will change. If you’re still stuck, your standards haven’t changed enough.

7. See your new standard as a fundamental shift, rather than as a goal. See yourself as the person that makes health a priority. This is much more powerful than having a goal of losing 25 lbs. When you change who you are, many of your results will change, too.

8. Recognise when you’re living up to your new standards. If you’re trying to save more money, make note of all the times you’re behaving congruently. You might buy less expensive food at the store, skip your morning latte, or carpool to work. Point out your progress to yourself and feel excited.

9. Consider what could happen if you fail to live up to your new standards. Keeping with the money-saving example, you might not be able to pay your bills on time or you might have to work at 65 instead of retiring. Make a list and understand the pain you face if you don’t stay on track.

Tony Robbins has said that raising his standards was the most important factor in turning his life around. It’s important to set a baseline for what you’re willing to accept in life. You don’t get what you want in life, you get what you’re willing to tolerate. Have high standards and your life will rise to meet them.  I hope you take the challenge and rise to the occasion.

PS. Please share you comments and thoughts below and I will personally respond to them.

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How to Stop Negative Behaviours Before They Stop You - Gideon Hanekom

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