As a space nerd and Brandi Carlile superfan who has sung this song WITH Brandi, this is one of the coolest things I've ever learned.
we're not kids anymore.

tannertan36

Love Begins
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

★

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$LAYYYTER

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Today's Document

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Origami Around
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@gillifan
As a space nerd and Brandi Carlile superfan who has sung this song WITH Brandi, this is one of the coolest things I've ever learned.
listen i’m an avorah girlie too but reading some people’s posts about the finale makes me feel like we’ve been watching a different show. that finale was emotionally devastating but so, so good.
ava and deborah are ride or die for each other at this point, the writers have said so, but the finale always sets up the emotional atom bomb we’ll spend several episodes of the next season unpacking and BOY did 4x10 deliver on that. because even though deborah can do these big scary gestures when emotions are running high and she needs someone to understand how much she loves them, she is still a deeply, deeply traumatized person, and that doesn’t just go away by magic.
like, deborah wasn’t just an ice queen bitch in earlier seasons for fun. it’s a defence mechanism covering her very fragile sense of self. these massive emotional wounds that she feels she can’t let anyone see, and would not know how to process even if she wanted to. of course she isn’t going to ride off into the sunset with ava and have an idyllic honeymoon in singapore, because accidentally barring herself from doing the one thing that keeps her devastatingly low self-esteem afloat (and let her take some degree of control back after frank betrayed her) is going to be terrifying and traumatic. yes, instead of a betrayal causing the show to be taken from her it was a choice she made, but that doesn’t make the sudden loss of control any less scary. that contract thing showed her that she’s still vulnerable in a lot of the same ways she was when she was younger. so she regressed into her worst coping mechanisms, because of course she did.
the question is what ava does with it. she’ll go with deborah to write new material eventually, i’m sure, but we never get a view of ava’s face after deborah says they’ve gotta go back and start writing and i think that’s deliberate. she’s still hurt and upset, she said so, and i think the whole singapore thing was a pretty big wake-up call for her. the problem was never “deborah doesn’t love me”, the problem was “deborah protects herself from emotional damage in ways that hurt the people she loves”, and ava being terrified that she was dead didn’t stop that from being true. ava loving her doesn’t stop that from being true. and i think ava has matured enough that she knows how to (gently, lovingly) hold her accountable for it.
so i don’t think the finale is supposed to be a comment on whether or not ava and deborah are endgame or whatever, it’s a comment on what deborah still has to do — not just to maintain her relationship with ava, but with everyone. it was such a good character study episode and i will be thinking and talking about it for the next 3-5 business decades.
learning that addiction is a progressive narrowing of the range of things that make one happy was kinda life changing for me. i apply it to everything not even just addiction i am always checking to ask if i am narrowing my range of happiness or widening it
Actually, we're gonna see if I can do this line by line, because I'm that obsessive. Here we go:
“Was your smile always crooked?” / “She’s fair and she is quiet, Lord, she doesn’t look like me”
“Was the freedom ever free?” / “All my rowdy friends are out accomplishing their dreams, but I am the mother of Evangeline”
“Do you kick the rocks between your feet after all this time with me?” / “You’ve been spinning around for hours, the band have all gone home”
“You can listen to your own records now” / “It’s hard moving on from the things you’ve done wrong when they play in your head like an old fashioned song”
“Decide what you believe” / “Some people get religion, some people get the truth”
“You can pray on stars and skip the gods like stones across the sea” / “If there’s a God in heaven, you can show me, then I guess I should admit I lost the bet”
“But I would know you anywhere, I lost myself in you” / “If the blind can lead the blind, then baby I’m just like you”
“Heavy are the hands that you are free to slip right through” / “His heavy hands hang at the ends of my arms and my colors change like the sea”
“Do what you have to do” / “He taught me how to walk the best that I can on the road I’ve left behind”
“There you are, my morning star” / “She made me love the morning, she’s a holiday at sea”
“I wondered when you’d show” / “No one tells you when it’s time, there are no warnings only signs”
“Give me just a quick thumbs up, a wink before you go” / “Say it’s over, say I’m dreaming, say I’m better than you left me, say you’re sorry, I can take it”
“I never heard that voice before today, I remind myself to breathe” / “I haven’t heard my mother’s voice in a while, but her words are always falling out my mouth”
“There you are, it’s just you without me” / “I love you whatever you do, but I got a life to live too”
“I’m late to another game” / “It’s a game, you know, it’s okay to lose a game”
“I guess I never learned the rules” / “This curse a gift from my father’s kin”
“I showed up with a broken name and handed it to you” / “But I still care enough to bear the weight of the heaviness to which my heart is tethered”
“I’m not sure if you can fix it now” / “We just carry on hoping it’ll change, but we know it’ll never change”
“But if you wanted to” / “Leaving would be easy, I understand why you’d stay”
“I would follow you around and carry all your tools” / “Won’t you promise me you’ll be the one, my silver bullet in the gun?”
“I would know you anywhere, I found myself in you” / “If the blind can lead the blind, then baby I’m just like you”
“Heavy are the hands that hold the changes you’ll go through” / “His heavy hands hang at the ends of my arms and my colors change like the sea”
“Do what you have to do” / “He taught me how to walk the best that I can on the road I’ve left behind”
“There you are, my morning star” / “I never met a morning I could get through with nothing on my breath to hold the night”
“I wondered when you’d show” / “And you’ll learn who you are even if it doesn’t take your life”
“Give me just a quick thumbs up, a wink before you go” / “Say it’s over, say I’m dreaming, say I’m better than you left me, say you’re sorry, I can take it”
“I never heard that voice before today, I remind myself to breathe” / “I haven’t heard my mother’s voice in a while, but her words are always falling out my mouth”
“There you are, it’s just you without me” / “I love you whatever you do, but I got a life to live too”
“As predictable as time and age but comforting in some strange way, time makes every one of us an absolute cliche” / “Nobody leaves here alive and nothing holy comes from being right”
“But when I met you face to face, none of it was true” / “The past of least resistance is catching up with me again today”
“So who am I if I’m not you?” / “Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind”
“There you are, my morning star” / “She made me love the morning, she’s a holiday at sea”
“I wondered when you’d show” / “And you’ll learn who you are even if it doesn’t take your life”
“Give me just a quick thumbs up, a wink before you go” / “Say it’s over, say I’m dreaming, say I’m better than you left me, say you’re sorry, I can take it”
“I never heard that voice before today, I remind myself to breathe” / “I haven’t heard my mother’s voice in a while, but her words are always falling out my mouth”
“I’m ever just a thought away if ever you need me” / “But darling I’ll be here, I’ll be the last, you’re my letter to the past”
“You’re gonna live a lot of life” / “You know I may not be around this time tomorrow, but I’ll always be with you”
“You’re gonna see a lot of years, God willing, just you without me” / “Oh but all the wonders I have seen I will see a second time from inside of the ages through your eyes”
“There you are, it’s just you without me” / “I love you whatever you do, but I got a life to live too”
horrible and insane. thanks I hate it (complimentary)
every time i complain about being single and having no hoes i want everybody to remember that i intentionally and strategically sabotage any opportunity i have to open myself up to a romantic or sexual connection because i’m a pussy and an idiot
gerri looking around like she's doing something wrong after texting roman a pretty inocuous thumbs up is so specifically batshit because truly there is nothing there to be guilty about until she treats it like there is, GOD
j smith cameron’s facial muscles deserve an emmy nomination alone
they weren’t lying age gap yuri really can take over your brain like a virus
Just letting you know, if this week is any indication: I will be unbearable when BCB eventually releases new music. You will have to block me.
Also, how am I gonna survive waiting two months for this gd album
I'm going to become so insufferable I'm scared
too many emotions
(The shoot they did for the album also looks fantastic and she looks like a lesbian rockstar dream)
The power I feel now that I'm sitting on the entire mothership 2025 lineup... I feel feral
You ever think about how In These Silent Days lost album of the year to Harry’s House and explode just a little?
I’m so sorry, but it’s been over three years and I am still continuing to unravel the complicated themes and lessons of ITSD. Not to mention, it absolutely F*cks, musically.
Forever stuck thinking about how Throwing Good After Bad and You and Me on the Rock are on the same album, and the joy of gentle devotion and fulfillment contrasted with the desperation of ambition.
no I actually can't think about that thank you so much <3 I never even listen to this full album in order the way I do her other ones cause I Can't
turns out I’ll always carry my 15 year old self. silly me
this isn’t about hating her this is about recognizing there will always be a small part of me a little hurt and a little scared and it’s my job to care for that part in the way she needed at the time
Deborah Vance and Brandi Carlile have very similar sparkly/sequin-y black suits for wearing onstage and I just thought you would appreciate me pointing that out
HAHAHHA yes of course I appreciate that. thank you so much. it's sick that I immediately know you're talking about Brandi's MSG outfit
Thank you, Quinta Brunson, for this amazing Melissa quote
Mark my words, she is going to figure out how to write a musical. She does not like musicals but she is going to do it anyway. Brandi Carlile first lesbian EGOT agenda
Also, if she actually fucking writes Fried Green Tomatoes I will cry for about ten years because that is my favorite movie/book of all time
she's absolutely gonna write a fucking musical cause I know that woman wants to egot so bad probably against her will. her bff brandy clark did it like