Ginger Llama

24, dream job: cat cuddler!!

[gingerllamalove]

Narc mother #8

So again these wedding invites are causing me problems!! I stupidly agreed to help print out the text she wanted for her invites. I told her on Thursday I won't be able to do it tonight as I'm knackered and I need a nap. The guilt tripping then begins and I said I'm sorry but I need sleep. So then she gets her friend involved also which isn't helping. So then when I get home I said that's it, you get 20 mins and that's it. So i design the text she wants etc. And the whole time she's not interested she's too busy watching tv. So I'm pissed and I turn around and say do you want these or not. I then send the documents to her via email so she can edit them to her liking ie font size and so she can edit the print detail... not hard. She then says she will get my step dad to print them. Cut to Saturday. My step dad then acts like an idiot now your telling me a man whom has just turned 40 who frequently changes jobs and writes cvs doesn't know how to print something off or change the font size... I call bull. I then get woken up during my sleep because yanno I sleep during the day due to working on the night. Only to help this twat. He then says he tried to print it out but he doesn't have the document..... So first he's making out like he tried to do the invites when he didn't even ask for the bloody document from my mother.... lazy bastard so I send it to him again and he just looks at the computer and says it won't work after one try. And then starts critisizing the font size after I told him he might need to change the size to make sure it looks good on the card. Anyhow problems keep happening and I tell him how to do it as yanno these are life skills for you and then he said he's giving up for today so I said fine and went back to bed. Then I'm at work at at 2.20am I get a text saying about me saying I would do the invites blah blah blah so my step dad has blamed me for not getting shit done when he had a day off and it's his bloody wedding like I'm not gonna hold his hand when all he needed to do was print the bloody things out. I didn't do it because I haven't had time and he had 24 hours completely free to do it when it would take max 20 mins to do. And now guess what im gonna have to do at 8am in the morning. Print out fucking invites even though I've got to be at work at 7pm tonight due to stock take ..... arseholes

[gingerllamalove]

Day off with a narc mother

So wanted to spend my last normal day off studying and instead of that I'm stood in range looking at bloody ribbons for my mum's perfect wedding invites which she also has a friend tagging along with her to help her make these boring decisions. So now... I'm stood in range being ignored so what is the whole purpose of me being here?? All because she wants all this bloody attention

[gingerllamalove]

Narc mother returns

So her behaviour has returned, everything has been tolerable considering she's crazy until now. She's been stealing my shit and trying to over control me again. And today she's just turned into a cunt again. I work nights and I came in from work late because I went shopping, the night before she asked me to be quiet when I come in because she wants a lie in which is fine hence coming in late. I come in and quietly feed the cats and let the dogs out for the toilet while I make myself some breakfast. An hour later she comes down having a go at me because I haven't cleaned the trays when they aren't my cats and also it was clean before hand. She then has a go at me because a plate fell which I cleaned up. Then she starts having a go saying I'm a disappointment and I should be ashamed of myself due to my room. Then she tells me to put headphones in as I was watching something on my phone because she has a headache and she hasn't slept well. Now she wasn't even in the same room and it wasn't bothering her. So yet again I went and hid in my room.

Later on I wake up, let the dogs out for the toilet again and then go and have a bath. I get out the bath and my mum's back from work to which she starts having a go saying how many times have I told u to not let the dogs out. To which I said I was up and I let them go for the toilet (she locks them in the kitchen all day... I think it's cruel). She then says you didn't let them out they have pissed everywhere and then starts going on about the broken plate again. She then says if I don't like it then move out and then we can all have a party because we will finally have a tidy house. So again I'm upstairs in my bedroom hiding away from that fucking bitch. Whom is depressed in her life and because I'm the only fucker here and also seen as an easy target she takes it out on me. And get this... I was the only one to get her something for mothers day and instead of saying thankyou I hear her shout for fucksake I'm never gonna lose weight why has she bought me this. Ungrateful much. Seriously September can't come any quicker!!!

[gingerllamalove]

So my other brother who just joined the navy came to visit yesterday.

So he comes and visits and within 20 minutes I find out he's sleeping with my childhood Best friend. Only for him to go off telling me don't be a bitch and ruin it for him when they have been dating for a week. All that happened was I was shocked and then the whole family is making out like I shouldn't be shocked and I shouldn't feel this way when my brother is fucking my best friend like wtf. Can't I have friends of my own? Before my dad would chat up my friends when I was younger and they were like 14 ... Yes pedo I know and now my brother years down the line is fucking her..... pissed off and I know she's bad aswell as dude that's my brother. But I'm not close to my brother. I was more disgusted because before I found out I was thinking this man child is an arrogant , self righteous arsehole whom keeps trying to mansplain things to me yet he's younger than me and he was bragging about this 3 night stand and how amazing he is and how he is so much more mature than me and has his life together more than me. To which I answered little boy shut your mouth. You might think your mature but you have a lot to learn! My whole family was looking at me like I'm the arsehole and I'm fed up with it. I have a job, yes I might still be at my mum's but I chose to move back. I've moved out many times, I've gone to uni, I've worked for many years and I pay my bills. I have more life experience in my little finger than he will ever have yet I get treated like the twat. I can't wait to leave on September and never look back. I'm done with this toxic family... Just done!

[gingerllamalove]

Toxic mother part #5

So the joys of christmas has just happened, and that meant prime time for my mum being a cunt! Oh yes the narcissistic, control freak returns. Literally the whole of christmas I just wanted to sleep away, literally couldn't breathe without her say so. My brother has been getting the brunt of it only for him to turn things around and say I've been shit stirring and causing drama between them. All because my brother has no balls to speak the truth to the cunt and would rather blame me , when all I did was try and make peace. Seriously done... counting down the months till I fuck off out of here. I can't take this indenial, mentally ill, control freak whom only is interested if things are her way and only about her... byee bitch. When I leave I'm taking the cats and starting afresh

[gingerllamalove]

Wicked Game cover By Abbie Lammas

[gingerllamalove]

Toxic mother post #4

Something weird just happened in the house ... Golden boy and mum had an argument!!! Well she was being a bitch to me first saying that I disrespect her house and that my room needs sorting when it's literally tidy just got some clothes on the floor. And she was saying that I need to clean it as it smells like a tip when it doesn't at all! So I reached a point of realisation... Without getting into an argument I said I just wanna ask u a question. I then asked, 'So with me living in ur house does that mean I lose all my rights to privacy?' She then answered 'It's my house.' She then said she checks my room weekly... so ladies and gentlemen I've officially gone back to living life as a teenager, except now I'm using this negativity and toxicity to motivate me to get the fuck out of here!

[gingerllamalove]

Toxic mother post #3

Wednesday 8.30pm

Put remainder of stuff in slow cooker to try and make a few meals for a couple of days.

Mum comes in drunk starts going eww what's that so I said it's what I had left in the freezer as I'm skint till Friday.

Side point she threw out my sweet potatoes (full bag) without even asking or telling me.

Anyhow she makes a look so I said joking well u still owe me money for those chickens, I finish washing up and then she says well u can afford 150 pound a month for tattoos. So i reply not knowing that knarked her off, I said well i earn the money so why not and then start to go upstairs and then she goes crazy. Screaming at me throwing money at me saying I'm an arsehole and that I think i rule the roast and that she's ashamed to have birthed me. And that it's her house yet I won't have an 11 year old sleep in my bed. (Side not , to me that's my space but I said about her having a blown mattress next to mine). And then starts saying that it's my fault she spent £350 on a caravan and it's my fault why she had to break into her wedding fund to get it because I'm such a selfish arsehole and that I take the piss out of her and make her out to be a cunt. She then started crying and then went out for a fag and then came back shouting at my brother and step dad about me saying fucking 4 quid after everything we have done for her , we took her in. And then repeated everything she said 5 times.

I stayed away the whole time sat behind my door incase she tried to come up and attack me. I put my headphones in to fade out her shouting. The weird thing is earlier in the morning we had a normal conversation and now this.... joys of living with a toxic mother. Cannot wait to escape this hell hole I call home!

[gingerllamalove]

check out my video

[gingerllamalove]

Mother post #2

Cannot wait to get out of this hell hole , she's now trying to dig at me when it comes to the washing up. Yesterday morning i finish my food and she then gets on at me about washing up which I was gonna do and then pulls a spoon away and says oh but this is mine. Like how pathetic, and now this morning, I make myself food , and then when I finish I'm about to wash up and see the sink is full of dirty dishes so I leave my bowl and tray by the side ready for me to do when I wake up. Yet she starts having a go saying about how I can't keep relying on her to wash my stuff up as it's her house and she won't be changing the way she lives for me. She's starting because obviously I didn't wash her shit up for her. I then come downstairs and go to wash my shit up and she's already done it, I then say to her about the sink being completely full and suddenly it's like she's forgotten about this and goes into denial to which again ladies and gentlemen I'm just the annoyance whom just gets in the way

[gingerllamalove]

Stuck

So I've had to move back home and been living here for about a year and a half and its getting the point where it's unbearable now. I'm 24 yet I get treated like a child and more importantly I get treated like I don't matter and I'm just here to serve.

I pay rent , buy my own food , do my own laundry and spend most of my time either working, sleeping or locked in my room. I'm no bother I'm like perfect tenant but my mother doesn't see that. She believes in no privacy, she won't have locks on doors and that includes the bathroom!! She believes she can walk into my room whenever she wants because it's 'her house'. She puts me down whenever she gets a chance , she's over bearing , a control freak and also an alcoholic whom turns very nasty at times. I'm stuck at the moment because I'm having to live her, but being around her is toxic, she's never in the wrong and I'm just this person that she's disgusted to have given birth too when ever I stand my ground. She always puts my other siblings first and I'm just some irritation. Seriously am so sick to death of this. And I've already abandoned a relationship with my father because he too is a control freak as well as a manipulator and an abusive parent. I know some people don't have parents and they would kill to have what I have , but having my parents is toxic and being around them is doing my harm but I can't get out

[gingerllamalove]

Having a pity party for one atm lols not having the 'look' when it comes to women liking me can suck at times. UK is a large place yet no fucker wants me Hahah feel like moving to America as yanno bigger place maybe on weirdo will take me lols

[gingerllamalove]

Latest episode

Omg the latest episode made me so happy! Seriously such a funny lovely episode! My favourite show now for sure! But doesn't anyone else think that Janet rebound is so much like Jason it's unbelievable

[gingerllamalove]

Single

[gingerllamalove]

Janet is defo glitching due to being jealous and unhappy with the tahani and jason relationship as am I!! Great episode though

[gingerllamalove]

A couple of my tattoos so far ... sleeve is half way done :)

[gingerllamalove]

Being a lonely wolf can take it's toll sometimes