The Mind of a Ginger

How life is perceived by a single 30-something..

[gingerrkidd00]

Soooo...

I deleted my pof account for a couple months...was just sooo tired of the same stuff over and over and over again. But then I did remade it 3 weeks ago. In the first 2 hours had 2 almost identical messages about my mouth. It was terrible. I had the account for a full 2 weeks without any kind of regular conversation from anyone. It was so lackluster. It was such a waste of time and space on my phone. I had to get rid of it again. I did get to blow up facebook with some posts of the fuckery and nonsense. 

[gingerrkidd00]

Are you serious...

So I’m pretty good about making sure when asked “what am I looking for?” on dating apps that I’m very transparent. I know saying “a relationship” can tend to make prospects run the other way and that there is no way to just jump into a relationship. So I feel like “dating with the plan to find someone to build a relationship with” shows my intentions are long term but open to dating in hopes of finding someone who I enjoy and share common interests with to build up a relationship. I honestly just want to find someone who I can share my day with that I don’t share a blood relation to(my mom has to be getting sick of me,) and that can scratch my back in the middle of the night(the door jam sucks.) Whats even better is when I say that it typically gets the response of “same” or “right, it’d just be nice to share with.” But never do any of them stick around long enough for any of that to happen. I don’t understand how committing to someone has become so terrifying for most anymore. Everyone wants someone to connect with. Everyone wants to have someone to enjoy their time with. But no one wants to put in the effort. No one wants to attempt to put themselves in a vulnerable. It becomes hard to find anyone if you don’t want to put yourself or the time in. 

I guess maybe cause I am so open and honest with my intentions that when someone says they want the same or that they have an interest in me I begin to explore that more. I’ve had 2 different guys here in the immediate area say they’re interested on different platforms than I initially met them on. On the initial platforms I met them on we had just small talk. One I added from tinder onto snapchat. Our conversation on snapchat never really went any where. He posted snaps, I posted snaps. A little under a year goes by and we see each other on plenty of fish and said hi. He then tells me he’s had a crush on me for some time. I then attempted to talk to him more on snapchat since I already have that info. I ask questions and get one word or close ended responses. Never got any questions back or even had an attempt to ask me how my day was. I even asked twice if he was sure he was actually interested. He’d say yes and then nothing else. The other guy and I started chatting on plenty of fish. That chat was just basic small talk, nothing crazy. I posted on the app whisper. He responded saying he’s interested but didn’t think I was interested in him. When he showed me who it was we began chatting more on both apps. We then added each other on snap chat and began chatting on there quite a bit. Then he dropped of the face of the earth. He did tell me he can’t really chat much at work, that’s perfectly fine. I normally can’t much either. But this wasn’t just at work, this was all the time. He disappeared for a couple weeks. He just got back in touch with me and said he phone got broken at work and he had to wait for insurance to replace it. But since then he’s been pretty quiet. I just can’t tell if when I start to talk more they lose interest or if they just have an idea of who I am when they start to learn more they get quiet. 

[gingerrkidd00]

Down another

Well clover maybe lasted another day or two after my last post. I wasn’t having any luck from it. 

I’m still dabbling with the others. I do have Facebook dating up on my phone and came across a Jonah Hill-esque guy. He legitimately was a normal looking guy that’s face was shaped and looked like Jonah Hill. But now thinking back on it I should have realized this guy was off. His profile was under a name that wasn’t his as he’s frequently in Facebook jail but he had his dating profile under one that he used specifically to interact with his family(that was his only info on the profile other than his pictures, should have seen that red flag.) We chatted for all of a day and then when he asked at the end of the day if there was anything else to his profile that I liked other than he put out those Jonah Hill vibes. Well as there wasn’t much more to it I said “it just made you seem interesting.” He took the “made” as since it’s in past tense that he was no longer interesting. I then had to reiterate that the bio is what had drawn me in. Again took it as past tense. At this point it had been late enough in the evening that I wasn’t going to try and reason with him. I had a fairly eventful next day with stuff planned with my dogs and had an event to attend that evening. Since I didn’t respond to his other “past tense” statement he just simply messaged me saying “hope it all works out :)” and I can’t exactly tell if he deleted the profile itself or just our match. 

It’s crazy how just a short 10 hour span over a night(when people are sleeping) can have people all up in their feelings about a response. If a message had been sent in the morning and it’d been 10-12 hours and we’d been talking consistently for days or even weeks, I believe I could understand getting a little testy. We’d spoken for a day. I went to sleep after the last message I sent. I checked the message in the morning while I was in the car with my dogs at the vet and honestly spaced off I had a message to respond to. Has the world of need it now really made all of our egos so damn fragile we can’t even let people sleep without demanding a response from them? Fuck I hate this shit,

[tinderventure]

Not all bedtime stories have happy endings

[tinderventure]

We -burp- found a keeper Morty!

[sweetgamber]

Anyone trying to swipe in the south but all the men have dead animals and serial killer vibes in their pictures or think that they are hot enough to risk my health but arnt even cute enough for a "southern car wave" ...nah I don't wanna see you shirtless I wanna see the meals your mom and grandma are gonna make me I wanna see how you are gonna make my life easier put a picture up of you washing dishes or being productive not hurting small animals or being a douche at a party your friend had to get you into

[tinderventure]

…a poem of success.

[agentamy]

Entry 275. I’ve stopped actually trying to flirt with men and have decided to just amuse myself

[gingerrkidd00]

Ohhh trying new..and it’s old.

Well I decided to delete my Plenty of Fish account with all the fun I’d been having on it lately. I then decided yesterday to download a few different dating apps to try. 

Started with WooPlus which is a dating app for people on the BBW/Plus size scale. It’s ok. Then tossed Bumble, Hinge, and Clover on there.

So WooPlus is nice for the fact that when you’re in the same body bracket as me the guys you’re talking to know what they’re getting(huge fear for most plus size individuals.) And it kind of implements a time window so you can’t abandon the app and then come back and hope to start a convo with an old match. Now I’ve chatted with a few guys from it but it’s fairly chill as it’s not over run with obnoxious people.

Bumble is ok. Have a few matches and only a couple who are actually talking. Since my profile is so new I know they’ve been active lately. One guy chose to answer the question “what have you been filling your time with lately?” with just the word “food.” So when i asked “just food?” he just simply said “yes” I mean my answer was “played in my sprinkler like i was 6.” but hey dude if you’re a one word person you ain’t for me.

Now clover is a very different beast. When a lady wants to send a message it’s suggests a question or make your own question. After a smattering of messages it’s very clear that guys are suggested to send a pick up line. They’re all cheesy but humorous. And I honestly would have never even realized they were obviously generating them for the guys to check had I not received the same one from two very different guys. Also realized a lot of those guys have to be bots. Again the profile is very new(if I’m ever over an app I make sure to fully delete my profile so I can start from scratch with fresh matches if I decide to give it another go) so I’ve responded to 85-90% of those messages and have received a total of maybe 10-15% in responses when I replied rather quickly.

Ok Hinge, you’re a real mother fucker but I appreciate that. This app makes you select what you like about someones profile, instead of just swiping by fast and just being an ass about it. Now with that being said guys are clearly just liking posts as a way to get your attention for you to message them. One guy liked my photo, so I sent a simple “thanks” and he thought it was cute to respond with “you can say that after I use your thighs as ear muffs” I flat out told him he’s ruined any chance of that happening, and asked if he’d say that in person. He then thought it was cute to ask “well did you want me to ask you to marry me?” I said “uhh no” and he throws back “FWB?” Said no again and he fucked off.

I’m still attempting to be open minded about some of this but as someone who’s been single a while and truly enjoys my own company I’m not rushing or settling. It’s crazy to think people think you’re rude for wanting basic human decency and respect and when they are disrespectful and you stand up for yourself you become the one with the problem. 

I think I’ll get their eventually. 

[gingerrkidd00]

It’s been a bit

My page always ends up falling stagnant as it never seems to generate any traction but I’ve realized I need this for my own sanity sometimes. This morning I had a 40 year old man in Houston(I’m in northeastern Kansas) message me asking when we could talk. I said very simply “No thank you.” He messaged again showering me with compliments. I said “ok. bye.” He came back at me saying I was being rude and needed to calm down. I again told him “I’m just said ok. and Bye. I don’t need to say thank you after I already told you no thank you. It seems that you think showering me with compliments is going to convince me to give you another chance. It won’t. I said no. I meant it. Please leave me alone.” He tries to tell me that this is all in fun and to chill out. I could tell by his messages he wasn’t going to lay off until I got nasty. It came to that. The jist of that message was “I’m not playing a game with you, I’ve asked you to leave me alone. Now leave me the fuck alone. Your profile says you’re years old yet you act worse than some of the guys younger than me. Grown the fuck up” He came back at me with how he was just trying to make my day and he wasn’t coming at me with get those clothes off and how I need to check myself as I’m too cocky for my appearance and then insulted me. I told him I didn’t want him to make my day I wanted to be left alone. I had to report him twice and then block him. I posted all of the conversation to my facebook. And even after I posted about the 40 year old, I got a new message from 33 year old who had a single picture on his profile and all he said was "damn sexy are those all natural?" I asked "what the fuck was wrong with you?" and he tried to turn it on me for being rude. I asked is that how you'd approach me if you saw me on the street. Would you walk right up to me with absolutely no context and say that exact phrase? He said he was just tryin to compliment my lips and it wasn't perverted. I said well every message I get on here from strangers that refers to my lips ends up being perverted. He tries to tell me that just cause I’ve gotten just one message that was perverted that not all of them were. I said no 100% of the messages I receive that mention my lips are sexual in nature, He just said Oic. No boy I don’t think you do. The second a woman on any dating platform wants just simple basic respect, the same you’d give them in a public setting we’re cocky and rude. But the unwanted messages about our appearance and sexualizing us right away is cocky and rude. You think I want that from you with your profile that has one photo and its grainy and far away. Or the profile with the guy who’s 25 with his senior pictures as his profile photos. Boy you are at a minimum 7 years older and could looks significantly different. Shit I looked significantly different from 17 to 25. What makes you think I want to see an old ass picture of you and just think you still look like that. At this point I’m certain I’m going to remain alone and if that means I don’t have to deal with stupidity I’m fine with that. 

[gingerrkidd00]

Thursday thoughts

My pof messaging hss slowed in the last few days. Then again I’ve been very out of it. Had an accident in my work van first thing Monday morning and when I say first thing I mean I normally go in at 9. I had to be in by 8 that morning. I wrecked the van at 845. I luckily had Tuesday off so I spent Monday and Tuesday relaxing my nerves after my hyper charge of adrenaline that fine morning. I’m still recovering, even though I wasn’t harmed in the wreck, the airbag hit me perfectly square in the shoulder so my left arm has been killin me since so now I’ve been back to work and am trying to get my arm not so tender but it’s taking a lot.

[gingerrkidd00]

Fuckery at it's finest

I would say that I'm no longer on the quest for love more as on the quest to find a companion that does not suck like everyone else out there. I have had 2 of the more annoying experiences with online dating happen this evening. My current plenty of fish account is pretty new, I've had a couple accounts in the past but have deleted them in hopes of fresh starts. Now I started a conversation with a guy just last night and we seemed to get off just fine talking about how much we both liked the office and then on to our love of movies. Then this morning he started to ask about politcal affiliation. Which I would say I'm very middle of the road on a lot of things. But I would really rather never discuss politics, especially with a stranger. Just tends to cause tension. So after I tell him that at 145 he proceeds to ask my thoughts on the issues which when I asked what he meant, he said politics, social issues, anything really....that happened at 930 so I shared the only pro and con list about our current nominees. Pretty simple I didn't side with either candidate at any point. But apparently it's not left-sided enough for him to want to continue a conversation even though he's spent the whole day saying how open-minded he was. Now I can understand that people like to share dialogue on these topics, its just not one I'm all that interested in or one I understand all that well so I choose to stay away from it. But I always enjoy good conversation where we can discuss each side. I'm someone who always tries to sees both sides. So for someone who's so "open-minded" to just end conversation doesn't show me you're open-minded, it shows me you don't want to hear anything but agreement with you. Then on to my lovely second conversation. I had a guy who has apparently messaged me before on an old profile of mine. I did not respond to him on my old account. In this world no matter how many times someone says looks don't matter, that person is lying. Now looks are not a 100% deal breaker for me but I would like to be attracted to the person I'm trying to connect with. I was not interested in this man the first time I saw his page, and I still wasn't. So he messaged me this evening at 850. When I didn't respond at 925 he sends back "so you're gonna be like that." At this time I didn't realize he had messaged me before so I snap back with "I was busy, if you can't wait for a response within 30 minutes then I do not want to talk to you period." He then proceeds to try to I guess calm me down with "I'm just trying to talk to you cause you're cute," but I am so annoyed with his attitude from message 2 I can't even begin to fathom having a conversation with him. So when I tell him no, he tells me to not be so stubborn like I need to talk to him. I go off on a tangent of "I don't owe you a conversation just cause you messaged me. There is no requirement on here that I have to respond to every message i receive." And so his only response then is how I'm a bitch. At this point in the night I don't really care what either thinks I just had to get thus out there cause I know I'm not the only girl dealing with fuckery online.

[gingerrkidd00]

How my friend and i talk about #JurassicWorld

[gingerrkidd00]

View this post on Instagram

I for some reason remember hearing this phrase when i was a kid while making a real sour face. So naturally i say it to Stella. #frenchbulldog #frenchie #frenchbulldogsofinstagram

[gingerrkidd00]

Strangely enough this is what I'd call beautiful weather for my #birthday

[gingerrkidd00]

Get ready #JurassicWorld Imma coming for ya. #needafewmoredrinks #leopardtattoo #leopard #greeneyes #ginger

[gingerrkidd00]

Ready for this #JurassicWorld fiesta. #needafewmoredrinks