“Gon…sometimes you’re too radiant and I can’t see the immediate truth, but…can I still stay…by your side…?”
As in, Gon is an optimistic fool. (He’s called that several times throughout the manga…especially in the GI arc)
Killua knew he was too optimistic. But didn’t care and wanted to stay with him.
Gon’s self-realization is his demise at the end when his reality is shattered in half: his reality of truly believing Kite to be alive and believing that Pitou was nothing but a merciless monster (so to see Pitou care about another human flew Gon over the edge even more so). Gon had a mental breakdown, (when his mind was arguing with himself before he transformed) and reached a despair “event horizon” after all of his beliefs came crumbling down; reaching a breakdown level/point of no return. He was like 13/14 yrs old, his mind and emotions not fully matured. Give the kid a freakin break.
Also, the darkening of Gon’s soul (realization that Gon is not pure light aka: happiness/positivity) that Killua witnessed, along with feeling helpless that he couldn’t help bring back his light (positivity) and the fear that Gon wanted his help as a teammate vs a friend, was his breakdown during the arc. To some, this could be considered canonically in love because he’s a bit toooooo upset over it…you can say platonic, of course! My personal opinion (my ship aside) is Queerplatonic: relationships that are not romantic in nature but involve very close emotional connections that are deeper or more intense than what is traditionally considered a friendship. Though it’s still good to remember that Togashi is an LGTB activist and he actually referred Gon/Killua as small Sensui/ Itsuki’s from his manga YYH, who were an official couple. In fact, the personalities of the two pairs are quite similar. And if Killua were a girl, people would not question the fact that he may quite possibly be in love with Gon. (Just some food for thought)
Also, they way Togashi handled Killua’s emotional development in the chimera ant arc just reeks of something deeper than friendship from Killua’s side. I could honestly see Togashi intending it to be one-sided romantic feelings, maybe a bit toned down considering both of them were only 13/14 by that point. I do agree that Killua was jealous of Palm; he outright admitted to stalking them on their date and becoming distracted from his “real purpose” of protecting Gon while he couldn’t use Nen. It’s also significant that Killua broke down in front of Palm. He felt helpless to do anything for the person he cared about most and reached out to Palm to try to do what he couldn’t, completely insecure and vulnerable like we had never seen him before. He was devastated and desperate to help Gon, but was still willing to pass it on to someone else that he felt could do the job better, which just so happened to be Palm—a person he was visibly jealous of before and who was romantically interested in Gon. I can understand a friend being upset by a comment like Gon’s, but not quite to the extent that Killua was. It really is a powerful scene.
There’s a plethora of moments beyond that: Palm conceding and telling Killua that it’s not her, but Killua, that is most important to Gon, especially when Palm was romantically interested in Gon and previously saw Killua as an obstacle. Killua’s lover’s suicide comment (which we can take as not a joke, especially with Killua’s habit of considering the worst outcomes), worrying early on in the arc if he was worthy of staying with Gon, the fact that Gon’s comment even led him to that level of despair to begin with, the comment Killua makes about only wanting to be with Gon when he and Gon were discussing dates, and even into the election arc when Hisoka and Illumi were discussing the conditions to Alluka’s ability and all the examples of people affected by the fallout of “the wishes” were lovers.Â
Togashi isn’t the type to be afraid of revealing the homosexuality of his characters. However, Hunter x Hunter is published in Shônen Jump and we’re not sure that it would be acute paranoia to state that Shônen Jump is not the most open-minded publisher on such matters. Togashi even stated in an interview that he argued very often with Jump magazine.
Now back to Gon: the anime completely fucked the relationship up with Kite & Gon vs. in the manga. Kite is first introduced in Chapter 1. He’s the one who told Gon about the existence of Hunters & gave Ging’s hunter license to Gon to hold onto; instilling a trust and bond between the two. Mito-San originally told Gon that both his parents were dead & she was so confused when he wanted to apply for the Hunters exam because she never told him about it. And when Kite and Gon meet up again, (in the manga) it’s actually a very happy reunion, they know each other right off the bat. The first thing Kite says to him is “Gon-chan!”, and continuously calls him by the term of endearment throughout their time together. He’s very, very kind to Gon in the manga and teaches both he & Killua HOW to be a hunter, how to fight, what to do and what not to do. Kite was the father Ging should have been. Also, he continuously informed Gon and Killua to not go into the NGL unless they were absolutely certain they were ready…which they continued to tell him they were. Then Kite died because they didn’t run when he told them too and Kite protected them. Gon felt extremely responsible for his death. Plus, weakness had always been Gon’s greatest fear…and to believe that his mentor died because he couldn’t fight along side him just aided in his brutal revenge of proving his strength to Pitou.Â
He. Could. Not. Forgive. Himself.
WHY DIDN’T ANYONE SEE THIS? Why didn’t anyone talk to this poor kid before they were in the middle of an actual war and in front of the person he was trying to kill? Yes, Gon is stubborn. But look at the time/place Killua actually tried to stop him. It was too late. It really was. He was in the middle of despair and rage. From a personal perspective, I’ve said crappy things that i felt extremely guilty about after I was done raging. You don’t think clearly, your mind is not right. Killua knew this and stuck by him because one shitty remark isn’t enough to negate their entire friendship and all they’d been through together and all the good. Killua was mature enough to understand that. But Gon should have never been left alone with Pitou, regardless.
Just figured I’d inform those who only watched the anime and were kinda like “wtf?” about Gon going crazy over Kite. And stop thinking Gon was a shitty friend and a shitty person. STOP.
He is more than his mistakes. Gon was the only one who beat a royal Chimera Ant other than the god damn president of the Hunter’s association. He beat Greed Island (and in fact was the winner of the last written test of the game….sayyyy what? he’s not a fucking moron? no way.) He beat Genthru, lost a hand and his vocal cords, and walked away like a mutha fuckin boss. AND, yes, he’s fearless to a fault…but he’s not intentionally a selfish person. He’s just stubborn. He would never, ever, ever, intentionally put a loved one in danger. He and Killua COULD KEEP UP WITH EACH OTHER. He did not view Killua as weak. I mean, even in the beginning Killua was interested in Gon because not only were they the same age, but they could keep up with each other. And Gon hated when Killua talked about dying when they were captured, he flipped out during the dodgeball game when Killua almost got hit by the ball that could have killed him. And I truly believe that Gon would’ve died along side Killua without hesitation if the roles had been reversed.Â
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