Strums and Drums: Part 1
(Rewrite one of a previous draft.)
September 17, 2011 - Chloe took a deep breath of the early autumn air. She loved this time of year. School aside, it was the perfect weather to comfortably wear her favorite denim jacket with her lovingly applied patches. The upcoming Halloween was awesome too. Standing outside the garage, the light wind tousled her wavy red hair and blew some fallen leaves across the grass. She raised her pick and brought it down across the strings of her electric guitar, feeling the subtle vibrations resonating throughout her form. The teenager smiled to herself as she enjoyed the moment; a perfectly tuned guitar, space to practice, and passion bubbling from within. She'd almost forgotten who she was practicing with. "Are you ready yet?" the taller blonde teen growled.
Chloe let out a sigh. Danny... why did she always wind up cooperating with that jerk? "Did you not hear that perfect strum? Of course I'm ready!" she snapped back. Danny replied with a roll of her eyes and a "Finally." With a few clicks of her drumsticks, the two were practicing their chosen song. As they played, the atmosphere around them began to change; the thick fog of reluctant tension parting in favor of a bright electric harmony. Chloe never understood why the two of them performed so well together. Danny was always so antagonistic towards her, seeming to hate her to the very core. She had all this disdain despite their shared interests in music, singing, and all things punk. Maybe, in another life, they could have been friends. "At least you're not a fuck up in every aspect." But not this one... "I'm not a fuck up at all!" Chloe snapped. Given the song had ended, reality had unfortunately settled in once more. "It was a compliment; jeez. Don't gotta be a bitch about it," Danny rolled her eyes. "You know, you could stand to be a little nicer to me," the redhead huffed. "It's my house where we practice and it's my house where we keep your drums!"
"Hey! I was being nice to you! I gave you a fucking compliment!" "You insulted me, dumbass! "So?! Who gives a shit?!" Danny barked before scratching her forearm. Chloe scowled before her eyes widened, then narrowed. Did she really see what she thought she did? When Danny's sleeve went up a bit, she could have sworn... In an instant, the redhead grabbed the blonde's wrist in a vice-like grip. "What the fuck are you doing?!" Danny sputtered as Chloe lifted her sleeve up to reveal fresh scars across her arm. Her suspicions confirmed, Chloe could feel her heart sink and the blood drain from her face, leaving her a ghostly white. Her shock was soon replaced with a panicked rage. "Why would you do this?!" she spat, shakily clenching Danny's arm. Danny looked down at the shorter teen with a sneer, looking for a reason to not answer her question. "Get off of m-" Danny's words were cut off when she got a good look at Chloe. Was she... crying? "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Danny spat, trying to pull her arm back. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Chloe retorted before her anger started to fizzle out. Her grip on Danny's arm loosened and she was quick to yank her arm back to her chest. "I mean," Chloe continued softly, "what is going wrong for you to do that?" "Nothing," Danny grumbled, fumbling for an answer. "Blood is cool." The shorter teen narrowed her eyes as she craned her neck to look the other in the eyes, tears still falling. "You're lying." "How the fuck am I lying?!" Danny exclaimed. "Blood is cool!" "Blood is only cool when it's fake and shooting out of a body in a horror movie!" Chloe argued, but she soon slumped her shoulders with a sigh.
"You're hurting," she uttered quietly, gently placing a hand on Danny's upper arm. "That's why you're so mean all the time, isn't it?" Danny recoiled slightly at the touch, but didn't remove her hand. She didn't want to show any sort of fear towards Chloe, of all people. She simply stared at the hand on her arm as she tried to reorient herself in the situation. The longer she stood there, the more she noticed the care Chloe was showing. Her grip was soft with just a bit of firmness, enough to show both kindness and conviction. Chloe cared about her. For whatever reason, she cared. Genuine concern was such a foreign concept to her, but maybe it didn’t have to be… “Whatever it is, we’ll find a way through it,” Chloe softly assured. “I won’t let you go at it alone.” Why did she want to help? It was so baffling. Could she even do anything to help? There was a long silence between the two before Danny spoke up. “You could never make my bible thumping, bigoted, hypocritical, slap across the face for back talking, have to earn their love, PIECE OF SHIT parents to truly love or accept me,” Danny finally admitted, red in the face and growing increasingly frustrated with each word. Chloe was stunned silent, bringing her hand down, eyes wide as she watched Danny shudder with each breath. That was… a lot to take in. “I’m sorry. I never knew your parents were that bad.” Her gaze fell to her feet. “Well… they are. Now you see why I can’t,” she took a deep shaky breath, “be me…” Chloe brought her gaze back up to Danny’s. “That’s a lot to unbox and I swear we’ll get to it, but you’ve gotta get your breathing under control before you pass out.” “I’m fine,” she claimed as her shoulders raised and fell rapidly. Chloe gently wrapped her arms around the other. “You will be fine, but you aren’t right now. I swear I’m here for you.” She let Danny go and gently guided her to keep her focus on her. “Look at me. Just focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath through your nose, hold it, then let it out through your mouth like you’re blowing out a candle. Like this.” Danny didn’t want to calm down. She was finally letting out her frustration at the truth of what her life was.
At the same time, she felt compelled to listen to Chloe. Something about her just managed to convey that she knew what she was doing. She followed Chloe’s lead, taking a deep breath and letting it out; in, out, in, out. “Alright, Now you’re okay.” Chloe placed her hand on the other’s shoulder. “So, who areyou?” Danny took another deep breath as tears pricked her eyes. “I’m a BOY; god damn it!” This declaration was meant to come out as an unarguable fact, but it had been choked out as a sob. Chloe’s hand went limp, sliding off Danny’s shoulder as she took everything in. Things were finally clicking into place. That’s why Danny was always so angry, so resentful. It’s why he went by Danny and hated being called his full name. It was the reason he hated her, her brother, her cousins… They all went against the cisgender heterosexual norm… but were still loved and accepted all the same. He wasn’t. He had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t just to be tolerated by his parents. He had to be called the wrong name everyday by his parents, his peers, his teachers, and everyone else. He had to use the girls’ bathroom, dress with the girls, and play sports with the girls. And he couldn’t correct them. As Chloe reeled from the realization, Danny took the opportunity to retreat into the garage and slump to the ground, burying his face in his knees. He didn’t want any passersby to see him crying like this. “Don’t look at me,” he sobbed. “Okay,” Chloe took a seat next to him, eyes forward. “I’m not looking at you, but I’m here for you. And I will be from now on.” Danny raised his chin above his knees long enough to ask, “What good will that do?” “Okay. First off, ow,” Chloe half-joked. “Second; you’ll have at least one person can be yourself around. Whether anyone else knows or not, I know. I know you’re a man.” “Some man I am,” he croaked. “You are!” Chloe declared. “You’ve had to live with zero support for I don’t know how long! That takes balls! And your vocal range? That’s some Meatloaf shit right there! That’s a man!” Danny let out a small, but genuine laugh and finally looked at Chloe. “What about everyone else?” “We’ll figure it out. In time. But, for now, you’ve got me. And you’ll have the support of my family, should you come out. You’ll have a whole support system who knows who you are! What do you say?” She stood and held out a hand to help the young man up. “Will you let me help you?” Danny was quiet for a few moments, mulling the idea around in his brain, before uttering a quiet, “Let me sleep on it.” “Oh,” Chloe slumped. She should have known he wouldn’t commit to anything right away. Hopefully, he would ultimately taker her offer. “Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.” Was he singing? “Let me sleep on it,” he sang a bit louder with a small grin, taking her hand. “And I’ll give you an answer in the morning!” As he stood, Chloe smiled and began singing right along with him. “Let me sleep on it! Baby, baby, let me sleep on it! And I’ll give you an answer in the morning!” Danny began to chuckle, as did Chloe. “This is because I mentioned Meatloaf, isn’t it?” she joked.
