I’ve been thinking a lot about my old cleaning job lately so here’s a list of dumb shit I saw in rich people’s houses:
motion activated toilets - every time you so much as looked at them the seat would lift and it would start spraying like, disinfectant or smthing
A two-story walk-in closet
an on-suite home movie theatre located between the master bedroom and its bathroom
separate his-and-her on-suite bathrooms. As in two different bathrooms, one for ‘him’, one for ‘her’.
the literal ugliest decoration ie; a huge ass piece of quartz just. chained to the wall. Like industrial chained to the wall.
so many marble countertops with coffee mug rims (fun fact! marble is extremely porous!)
a single woman in her 20′s living in a 3′000 sq ft house which was always already clean because she only used three rooms- rec room, bedroom, and the second bedroom which acted as an extended closet, and the kitchen is not on this list because instead of cooking her mother, who lived across the lane in a 6′000 sq ft house, would just send the private chef over with meals for her.
the aforementioned 6′000 sq ft house which had 6 different sitting rooms, two of which used to be what looked like a gorgeous patio and balcony which some fucker enclosed because for some fucking reason they thought this house needed more fucking sitting rooms.
many, many children’s rooms that were clearly designed more for aesthetic than for children to exist in.
a broken smart home system that wouldn’t let anyone open the blinds.
A half furnished vacation apartment we had to pretend to clean every month for its absentee owner
an apartment absolutely fucking covered in animal furs and horns. Like almost wall to wall dead animal skins. Zebras, goats, wolves, I think a caribou, beavers, so many fucking bears, including a polar bear cub. Anything that could be made of horns was made of horns. There was literally a wreath made of dear antlers. So many fur coats. I had to vacuum a bear and I’ve never been the same.
a shelf full of vegan cookbooks, in the apartment mentioned above.
Anyways, skin the rich and vacuum their sins away; godspeed to any cleaning staff in this trying time.
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