CSB is a space where not only do I help you with your work journey, but also with being in touch with your feminine side - to enjoy being a woman. Therefore, I share information I wish my younger self knew regarding health, beauty, mentality, etc.
Iâve realised that mental + physical + spiritual progress combined will make you successful. I work on incorporating that in my life everyday, and I want to help you too.
Disclaimer: Iâm not a doctor, therapist or any person of that kind. Iâm sharing what worked for me, and could work for you potentially. For medical advice, please visit a doctor.
This list is constantly updated. Press on any keyword below to see its index.
To access my answers to the questions I get in my inbox, search for #q/a.
I meet with my mentor as and when heâs available. He manages my familyâs money and heâs very good at what he does - his firm manages about $5 billion, and I have great conversations with him.Â
I donât want to talk too much about him, but he came from a lower middle class background and today is wealthy beyond comprehension. He could buy a plane or two in the middle of the night if he wanted.Â
Today we focused a lot of personal growth in my career.Â
He gave me two books - The Inheritors by Sonu Bhasin and Fortuneâs Children by Arthur Vanderbilt.
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Here are some brief takeaways:Â
Work backwards from the outcome you want.Â
Define the outcome of where you want to be and plan it backwards to your current position.Â
2. Eliminate, eliminate, eliminate.Â
Life is all about elimination. Donât focus  on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. Eliminate all the things you know youâre not good at, you have no interest in and that make you depressed.Â
3. Intellectual honesty.Â
Be honest with yourself about things you are good at and are not.  The easiest person to fool is yourself.Â
4. Read one business biography a week.Â
Everything youâre going in life, thereâs a 99% chance someone else has gone through it and come out of it victorious. He also mentioned this article.
5. Outline 3 strengths and 3 weaknesses.
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6. (In business/ corporate careers) Youâre either primarily an investor (youâd rather fund companies and start ups than start them), an operator (youâd rather build something hands on), or a manager (youâd rather periodically manage something hands off. Like for instance you could have your own franchise bakery chain where you donât need to exercise minute control over every franchise but you still ensure that thereâs some managing done from your part).Â
7. Do not have extreme ideologies at this age.Â
Not when it comes to religion, politics, etc.Â
8. Emotions, money and your time are something you need to be ruthless about. Absolutely ruthless.Â
Be careful about the friends you have and the influence they have on you.Â
what my finance mentor, who manages a billion-dollar portfolio sent me this morning
Iâm going to start sharing the resources heâs been sharing with me. You can find everything on my pinned index post, under âMentor recommendations.â
Three quick tips to gain an instant charisma boost in conversation:
Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences. Reduce how quickly and how often you nod.
Pause for two full seconds before you speak.
The very next time youâre in a conversation, try to regularly check whether your mind is fully engaged or whether it is wandering elsewhere (including preparing your next sentence).
Expensive clothing leads us to assume wealth, friendly body language leads us to assume good intentions, a confident posture leads us to assume the person has something to be confident about. In essence, people will tend to accept whatever you project.
when you can project both power and warmth together, you really maximize your personal charisma potential.
charismatic behaviors must originate in your mind. Knowing how to skillfully handle mental discomfort is even more important than knowing how to handle physical discomfort. Anxiety is a serious drawback to charisma. First, it impacts our internal state: quite obviously, itâs hard to be fully present while youâre feeling anxious. Anxiety can also lower our confidence. Anxiety, low presence, and low confidence can show up directly in our body language, as well as reduce our ability to emanate warmth.
 The single most effective technique Iâve found to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty is the responsibility transfer. Pick an entityâGod, Fate, the Universe, whatever may best suit your beliefsâthat you could imagine as benevolent. Imagine lifting the weight of everything youâre concerned aboutâthis meeting, this interaction, this dayâoff your shoulders and placing it on the shoulders of whichever entity youâve chosen. Theyâre in charge now. Visually lift everything off your shoulders and feel the difference as you are now no longer responsible for the outcome of any of these things. Everything is taken care of. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever good you can find along the way.
Golfer Jack Nicklaus said that he never hit a shot, even during practice, without visualizing it first. For decades, professional athletes have considered visualization an essential tool, often spending hours visualizing their victory, telling their mind just what they want their body to achieve.
âThere is good evidence that imagining oneself performing an activity activates parts of the brain that are used in actually performing the activity,â Professor Stephen Kosslyn, director of Stanfordâs Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences, wrote me. Visualization can even physically alter the brain structure: repeated experiments have shown that simply imagining yourself playing the piano with sufficient repetition leads to a detectable and measurable change in the motor cortex of the brain.
Silvia recently confided that visualization is one of the secrets to her success. Before key meetings, sheâll imagine âthe smiles on their faces because they liked me and they are confident about the value Iâm bringing them. Iâll imagine as much detail as I can, even seeing the wrinkles around their eyes as theyâre smiling.â She visualizes the whole interaction, all the way through to the firm handshakes that close the meeting, sealing the deal.
A twenty-second hug is enough to send oxytocin coursing through your veins, and that you can achieve the same effect just by imagining the hug. So the next time youâre feeling anxious, you might want to imagine being wrapped up in a great big hug from someone you care about.
Self-confidence is our belief in our ability to do or to learn how to do something.
Self-esteem is how much we approve of or value ourselves. Itâs often a comparison-based evaluation (whether measured against other people or against our own internal standards for approval).
Self-compassion is how much warmth we can have for ourselves, especially when weâre going through a difficult experience.
Itâs quite possible for people to have high self-confidence but low self-esteem and very low self-compassion.
Types of charisma:
Focus: Focus charisma requires, of course, the ability to focus and be truly present. Good listening skills are nonnegotiable, as is a certain degree of patience. To develop focus charisma, cultivate your ability to be present.
Visionary charisma makes others feel inspired; it makes us believe. It can be remarkably effective even though it wonât necessarily make people like you. We assess visionary charisma primarily through demeanor, which includes body language and behavior. Due to the fact that people tend to accept whatever you project, if you seem inspired, they will assume you have something to be inspired about.
kindness charisma comes entirely from body languageâspecifically your face, and even more specifically your eyes. Kindness charisma is primarily based on warmth. It connects with peopleâs hearts, and makes them feel welcomed, cherished, embraced, and, most of all, completely accepted.
Authority charisma is primarily based on a perception of power: the belief that this person has the power to affect our world. We evaluate someoneâs authority charisma through four indicators: body language, appearance, title, and the reactions of others. youâll need to learn how to âtake up spaceâ with your posture, reduce nonverbal reassurances (such as excessive nodding), and avoid fidgeting. You may need to speak less, to speak more slowly, to know how and when to pause your sentences, or how to modulate your intonation. Look expensive.Â
Avoid holding a drink in your right hand, especially if itâs a cold drink, as the condensation will make your hand feel cold and clammy. Before shaking someoneâs hand, whether you are a man or a woman, rise if youâre seated. And keep your hands out of your pockets: visible hands make you look more open and honest. Make sure to use plenty of eye contact, and smile warmly but briefly: too much smiling could make you appear overeager. Keep your head straight, without tilting it in any way, and face the person.
Ask people open ended questions, focus on questions that will likely elicit positive emotions. With your questions, you have the power to lead the conversation in the direction you want. In fact, even when youâre speaking, the one word that should pop up most often in your conversation is not I but you. Instead of saying âI read a great article on that subject in the New York Times,â try âYou might enjoy the recent New York Times article on the subject.â Or simply insert âYou know...â before any sentence to make them instantly perk up and pay attention.
Another way to exit a conversation with grace is to offer something of value:
Information: an article, book, or Web site you think might be of use to them A connection: someone they ought to meet whom you know and can introduce them to
Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak
Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for
When someone has spoken, see if you can let your facial expression react first, showing that youâre absorbing what theyâve just said and giving their brilliant statement the consideration it deserves. Only then, after about two seconds, do you answer. The sequence goes like this:
They finish their sentence
Your face absorbs
Your face reacts
Then, and only then, you answer
The next time youâre given a compliment, the following steps will help you skillfully handle the moment:
1. Stop.
2. Absorb the compliment.
3. Let that second of absorption show on your face. Show the person that theyâve had an impact.
4. Thank them. Saying âThank you very muchâ is enough, but you can take it a step further by thanking them for their thoughtfulness or telling them that theyâve made your day.
Itâs not just metaphors that can paint the wrong picture. Some common phrases can have the same effect. When you tell someone, âNo problem,â âDonât worry,â or âDonât hesitate to call,â for example, thereâs a chance their brain will remember âproblem,â âworry,â or âhesitateâ instead of your desire to support them. To counter this negative effect, use phrases like âWeâll take care of itâ or âPlease feel free to call anytime.â
You can deliver value to others in multiple ways:
Entertainment: Make your e-mail or meeting enjoyable.
Information: Give interesting or informative content that they can use.Â
Good feelings: Find ways to make them feel important or good about themselves.Â
The longer you speak, the higher the price youâre making them pay, so the higher the value ought to be.Â
If your goal is to communicate power, set the pitch, tone, volume, and tempo of your voice in the following ways:
Pitch and tone: The lower, more resonant, and more baritone your voice, the more impact it will have.
Volume: One of the first things an actor learns to do on stage is to project his voice, which means gaining the ability to modulate its volume and aim it in such a targeted way that specific portions of the audience can hear it, even from afar. One classic exercise to hone your projection skills is to imagine that your words are arrows. As you speak, aim them at different groups of listeners.
Tempo: A slow, measured tempo with frequent pauses conveys confidence.
To emanate vocal warmth, you need to do only one thing: smile, or even just imagine smiling.
Charismatic people are known to be more âcontagiousâ; they have a strong ability to transmit their emotions to others.
The most effective and credible compliments are those that are both personal and specific. For instance, instead of âGreat job,â you could say, âYou did a great job,â or, better yet, âThe way you kept your calm when that client became obnoxious was impressive.â
Hereâs one specificâand surprisingly effectiveârecommendation for phone charisma, courtesy of author Leil Lowndes: Do not answer the phone in a warm or friendly manner. Instead, answer crisply and professionally. Then, only after you hear who is calling, let warmth or even enthusiasm pour forth in your voice. This simple technique is an easy and effective way to make people feel special. I recommend it to all my business clients whose companies have a strong customer service component. The gains in customer satisfaction are impressive.
Charisma takes practice. Steve Jobs, who appeared so masterful on stage, was known to rehearse important presentations relentlessly.
Retain at least a certain measure of equanimity. Most charismatic leaders are known for their ability to remain (or appear) calm even in the midst of turbulent circumstances.
Whoever recommended Queen Of The South when I asked for level up films you are so pretty. Your nails are on point your hair is glossy your skin is glowing your bank is banking and you have never ever ever everrrr been wrong. May you collect money on your way home and bag a million and a hot dude that worships the ground you walk on, particle by particle.
When I say Stoicism, this is exactly what I mean. This girl is how you do social climbing. This is how you take what you are given and do something with it. This is power games, people. This is Thatbitchism, at its finest. Teresa the woman that you are đđ§ââď¸10/10 no notes.
FINANCE 102 (?). EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE TO MAKE THIS MUCH IN ONLY A YEAR IN PASSIVE INCOME
& this time I even brought receipts.
Apart from the not even subtle flex, this year has easily been one of my most successful financial years yet. When I say passive income we are not counting investment returns (that financial statement isn't out yet and does not matter, it's automatically reinvested. Not even for flexing purposes, there are a few things I need you to understand about me and these numbers:
First, none of this is salary. I work a medium wage job that pays in four figures monthly. It also does not include other income sources that require my involvement. Passive is the key term.
Second, apart from right at the start, I've had no personal involvement in any of these sources. None. Not even calls or texts or emails, fully automated.
Third, it is all tax free. It all belongs to me. One of them is after tax but the rest are 100% what I've made.
These are three completely different streams, and these are between November last year to date. One year.
No it's easy or simple or fast.
(sidenote) I take my financial statements in Nov and plan for the new year bc i don't count dec as even part of a productive year.
My passive income (including investments) is my largest source of income and will always be.
(because I will always bring the receipts)
I am no financial guru so I can not directly give you financial education, but I can tell you what I do and if you get it, good for you.
Soo then, steps I've taken to be able to get to this financial position at 24 (I turn 25 next month btw;) ) from, well, since as far back as I can remember. It's a process.
-> First, Investing heavily in financial education. What has this looked like for me?
I've probably gone to 30+ finance seminars and workshops centered around investment, asset management and wealth distribution. I went to my first at 19 and last in March. If i have to pay I will. If i need to skip town, I will. I go, i listen, I ask questions, I make connections. I make a plan of what I want to learn and focus on that, not haphazardly consuming content as long as it's finance related.
Finance bros (is a gender-neutral term pls). It is a finance bro that told me to buy my first ecommerce business before covid hit. It was a finance bro that got me to buy the business that has made me the last screenshot for less that 10k. It was a finance bro that taught me to work low wage and make my bank in assets so I don't overpay in tax. It was my finance bros to teach me what to invest where and how to keep my banks offshore and to set up my trust fund (plus law girlies ofc mwah) and get my LLC. Finance bros save lives. I'm not good with money. I have people that are good with money.
-> Second, i tied up my loose ends early enough. Loose ends? Yes, the financial vampires that had no return on investment.
First is societal obligation aka giving back to the community. Wrapped that up in mentorship and volunteering (a lot because I'm not giving my money to people that have more than me that's wild.
Second- my family. Shout out and huge fat thank you to my extended family for being extremely sh!tty openly to me and my nuclear family when we were younger so absolutely no one faults me for cutting them off amen. For my nuclear family it is kind of obvious whoever is the most financially advanced provides for the family and that's fine if it means a set amount every month not calling me whenever you want some baby shower or whatever. Loose end. Set up investment accounts for each of them and invested monthly up from my third year of high school to second year of uni (Three- four years) while teaching them how to make money work for you then just- pulled back. No one can say I abandoned them and every four months if I want to instead of sending money home I send it to their accounts. Tied up that loose end bc they can reaally reallllly bankrupt you if you're not careful.
-> third, always focusing on the ROI and what is important to me. If it does not have a higher return on investment what do I even need it for? What does this mean?
It means befriending the kids at Fashion and textile faculty in uni and having them teach me how to work clothes and make up into my body and into achieving the lifestyle i want through them and then finding my ROI.
Having my eyeliner tattooed for <50$ in my home country so I don't need to buy eyeliner and reapply every ten minutes. It means getting my bags made for <50 each in my home country too instead of buying a high quality bag for God knows how much in my Country of residence.
It means buying stocks not bags and dresses because one appreciates and the other depreciates and dresses are not important to me.
It means perfecting my thrift game because i value quality, not price tags.
It means moving to a higher end area although rent is higher because the security, the gym, the people, the amenities, all things that are of value to me.
It means investing in things that I know will give me a high return in investment and using my money to buy value, not things. Before I even touch my money for purchase I am already calculating its value vs my value system vs return on investment.
-> Fourth, Building discipline. I have invested the MOST in this area. I can not even stress this enough - discipline is the highest value skill you can ever learn. According to google discipline is "the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience". And that is exactly how I did it, used punishment to correct myself.First, deciding the rules and code of behavior I wanted to follow. Second, making myself follow it using the nacient learning method, reward and punishment- where reward is normalcy and punishment is just :).
In high school, running for double captainship because that would force me to work and work hard. The pressure of the expectations just one captainship demanded was hell, make that two plus having to keep my scholarship and yeah. One wrong move and I'd be stripped of them both, and that forced me to never make mistakes. And it was really, really hard to not make mistakes.
Knowing my ADHD brain has an extremely hard time being consistent, I learned pretty early I need external help to keep myself in check. Realized that help has to come from someone I respected after trying to make it work with friends and failing. My first mentor cost me a good 5000$ every month (not so high it would paralyze me but high enough i felt the pressure) and when I slipped up i owed them 500$ on the floor. Missed something on my to do list with no good excuse? 500$. Failed my exams? Ate junk? Bought something without considering the ROI? Did not reach my health goals ? 500$. On the spot. No stories no argument no nothing. You mess up six times and the seventh you just automatically cry even before you think of messing up because damn. Reward and punishment. After a while (One year to be exact) it gets so deeply programmed its part of my ADHD.
Accountability partners. Exclusive. High functioning. A pretty 1200$ every month but I don't mind, it's worth it. Extremely high ROI.
-> Heavily investing in myself because I will always give myself the highest ROI.
Blood checks every quarterly because my health is everything. (Chinese herbalists, extremely cheap).
Educating myself heavily in all the fields that are important to me. Communicaton. Languages (Learning my tenth if we count sign language as a language and eleventh if we count braille). Gut health (Filthily educated in this bad boy. PHD level). Psychology and human behavior. Using fashion, beauty and styling to work for me. Violin. Equestrian. Everything I like. Double bachelors and a weird number of accredited certifications.
Therapy. I'm no longer in therapy but this was probably the best thing I ever did. Worth every dime. Went through six therapists until i found my stoic reality-based gem that was not trying to make me feel better but get better and survive the world as is.
My social life and friendships. Not even for social climbing, more for having friends and building my community and tribe. I'm not a lone wolf or sigma I'm a social person that's also part of a social species. Pouring into my friendships and networks has had a super impressive ROI and has been worth the trouble.
My reputation and social / public image. Nothing I guard harder than this, not even my money. I am not an idgafer i will never be. A good name is better than riches. I actually care what people say about me and carefully manipulate them into saying what I want.
Skill amassing especially in areas in consider essential. Home keeping. Sewing. Personal finance. Health and nutrition. Social skills. IT. Music. &c &c.
(will probably add as I remember. will also probably delete there's something really cringy about bringing receipts)
If you havenât started already, start archiving/downloading everything. Save it to an external hard drive if youâre able. Collecting physical media is also a good idea, if youâre able.
Download your own/your favorite fanfics. Save as much as you can from online sources/digital libraries. Recipes, tutorials, history, LGBTQ media, etc. It has been claimed, though I canât find the exact source if true, that some materials about the Revolutionary War were deleted from the Library of Congress.
Itâs always better to be safe than sorry and save and preserve what you can. Remember that cloud storage also is not always reliable!
Library of Congress - millions of books, films and video, audio recordings, photographs, newspapers, maps, manuscripts.
Internet Archive - millions of free texts, movies, software, music, websites, and more. Has been taken offline multiple times because of cyber attacks last month, it has recently started archiving again.
Anna's Archive - 'largest truly open library in human history.â
Queer Liberation Library - queer literature and resources. Does require applying for a library membership to browse and borrow from their collection.
List of art resources - list of art resources complied on tumblr back in 2019. Not sure if all links are still operational now, but the few I clicked on seemed to work.
Alexis Amber - TikToker who is an archivist who's whole page is about archiving. She has a database extensively recording the events of Hurricane Katrina.
I'll be adding more to this list, if anyone else wants to add anything feel free!
I grew up with the myth that it will happen. The body, the career, the love life, the house, the car, the friends, the experiences.
"By the time you're 20 you'll have things figured out. You'll know better. You'll be better."
"By the time you're 30 you will be married and have a beautiful family, a career, you will be accomplished."
Maybe you have been told so too. Or maybe you actually believe this.
Sorry...let me burst your bubble.
It won't happen....
unless you work for it.
The perfect body at 20 starts with exercising and eating well at 15.
The career and journeys at 30 start with studying in high school and uni. They start with that assignment that you are procrastinating on.
The wisdom and knowledge at 40 start with reading books and taking risks.
Everything starts now. Things don't happen. YOU MAKE THEM HAPPEN!!!
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