Girl Ctrl

jules | she/her

[girlctrl4eva]

im actually insane when im not with him im barely a person why cant i not be insane about a man

[girlctrl4eva]

i feel so suffocated when im by myself i feel like i cant breathe

[girlctrl4eva]

i feel so lonely, giving my all to be the kind of girl he can love unconditionally, and i feel like a failure and a liar all at once.

i feel like im pretending to be the kind of girl he can take home, show off to his friends, the kind of girl that can push him to be the best man he can be. the kind of girl that a man could truly love forever and always.

i want to be, but in reality i am not.

i feel guilty that im not enough, or that my obvious flaws are causing problems between us, and he pretends its okay, and i don think it is.

ive learned to cook, because i want to cook for him.

ive never eaten so much homemade food in my life, even when he isnt around.

i feel like im inadequate.

[girlctrl4eva]

i found out about something bad my bf did early on in our relationship and i forgave him but im still hurt and i have no friends like at all like literally nobody to talk to about anything and i feel so lonely and gross and trapped

[girlctrl4eva]

my boyfriend said im r@pe meat😵‍💫😵‍💫

[girlctrl4eva]

i wish my bf would get me flowers

[girlctrl4eva]

i drank half a bottle of bacardi last night and i dont really get hungover but i am experiencing an unbearable kind of nausea

[girlctrl4eva]

i got drunk and angry at my boyfriend because my dog is sick and then i sobbed and he calmed me down idk what id do without him

[girlctrl4eva]

i havent eaten all day and i normally go to bed at 3 but its 2 and im literally having troubke standing up

[girlctrl4eva]

it feels like torture to keep my feelings and fears to myself

but to put that on someone else feels like im torturing them

[girlctrl4eva]

i have everything the littlest me ever wanted, and im still so sad

[hauntingnarrativequeen]

how has life sounded lately

[girlctrl4eva]

the uncertainty of potentially losing someone you are extremely close and attached to feels very life threatening

[dollfacedelirium]

oh she knows

[stargirl1l]

[kiricumber]

[girlctrl4eva]

i lowkey got too high and had anxiety attack on the phone with my boyfriend while we were playing minecraft