Rip Open My Heart And Hear It Speak🔪🫀

🫣

[girlinthewall]

I know what your doing and it's not gonna turn out well bc I've been through the same thing

Very targeted towards one specific person I just wanted to have a place to say it😣

[girlinthewall]

I feel like the thought of having a bf is better than the actual reality of having one at least for me cs it's honestly so romanticized to the point where some of the expectations in a relationship are not even realistic cs being wholeheartedly devoted to someone is js something I don't see possible for me cs a relationship can't be my WHOLE life but honestly what do I know I've never been in one so I could be wrong

[girlinthewall]

Ew I keep looking back at my old photos where I was like 7lbs skinnier honestly might die rn. ts diet going unsuccessful I never even started I actually gotta lock in tmrw cs school in a week and my face lowk a moon, might js be bc of my sodium or carb intake I need to eat more protein and fiber definitely🙏🏾

[girlinthewall]

Dude I relapsed again🫩

[girlinthewall]

Yea I’m going on a diet I feel so bloated fat sluggish and heavy I have two weeks b4 school starts wish me luck 👌🏾👌🏾

[girlinthewall]

Well now I know why I’m so tired my body doesn’t seem to want me to get off my phone I legit js stay up til it’s like 1-4 in the morning it’s around 10 rn I might have to force myself to sleep now since my brain feels like it’s eating itself

[will-770]

every single time sm1 is upset with me i think abt relapsing and it makes me feel even shittier

[girlinthewall]

I am insanely insanelyyyy tired I feel so exhausted I have to wash dishes rn and that’s gonna take up the %25 of energy I have left no matter how I sleep I can’t seem to actually sleep good😞

[girlinthewall]

Jake was THIRSTY omg he wanted that cookie so bad😭

[girlinthewall]

I would never leak my tumblr to anyone omg that's like dissecting my heart and pouring it out on your face. I don't like being vulnerable abt my feelings with people I would rather js say it online to this void so that it won't be used against me or anything like that

[girlinthewall]

Two photos from early freshman year/summer before freshman yr I was around 111.3lbs I look back at these pictures and wish I could go back to this weight omg I was sm slimmer😞 ignore the room it’s so very messy

[girlinthewall]

My scale literally stopped working this morning omg I'm going crazy I haven't weighed in a while i know I've gained like 7 lbs or so I need to lock in ughhh I don't like how I look and how much I weigh if I'm like 110 for the rest of my life I would be way happier I was originally 108 when freshman year started but now I'm probably around 113-115 lbs I'm 4’11 1/2 btw but I literally get bloated all the time so I basically look like how I've looked when I was 140 lbs before the €d hit If anyone know how to get rid of bloating or at least minimize it a lot that would help sm 🙏🏾🙏🏾

[wayba3]

Did you look?

[girlinthewall]

A poem I made. Back in 2024 I would make poems to express how I felt. I didn’t make them all the time but it felt like it was something I could tell all my feelings to that no one would understand. I made this one just now in the span of 3 minutes they were easy to put into words but I know I could never say it out loud to another living being

[girlinthewall]

I need to relapse I need to show that I never got completely better I was just less worse

[girlinthewall]

TW: ed/sh

Ik this is gonna sound horrible but ik I’m not the only that gets like this. I’m gonna try to keep this as vague as possible but there’s someone in my life that the signs of them going back to their old ways are showing again. Mainly sh and possibly disordered eating but it just reminds me of when that completely took over my life. It honestly makes me feel that I need to relapse to prove that I can be sicker/unhealthier I don’t know what’s wrong with me but it’s so bad. At the same time I don’t want to relapse because that past was the worst but it feels like I have to…

[girlinthewall]

I’ve been eating so much since school ending I feel so stuffed and full I genuinely get less than 700 steps a day now since I’m not even let out the house I would usually excercise this summer but after a few weeks I stopped I feel like I’ve gained sm weight I have to lock in😞