Girls Are the New Boys

Like a pair of Christian Louboutins and fresh-out-the-box Js all in one.

[girlsarethenewboys]

hell has no fury like a woman scorned. And then the sky turned orange and it looked down on us. Muffled by the smoke it whispered, "I warned you".

[girlsarethenewboys]

Redefinition.

Everyone always asks me how I feel, and I always tell everyone I’m … “OK”. And for the first time, I’m not lying. I’m just scared. Scared to say the words outloud. “OK” may not sound like much, but when not waking up in the morning sounds like a better option than the pain of living another day – “OK” is a luxury.

Truth is, I’m OK. A normal person would feel relieved, but not me. I feel…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

In Her Purpose.

It’s true when they say that behind every great woman are other great women. In my case, they’re all screaming, “Yassssss girl, get ittttttt”. And that’s exactly what I did when Jennifer Redondo-Marquez and Rose Buado’s book In Her Purposedropped and became #1 on the Amazon Asian authors bestseller list. I don’t know either one of these women or the 40 women featured in the book, but as an…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

Effortless.

I’ve spent most of my blogging existence documenting my quest to fall ridiculously, inconveniently, and agonizingly in love. So does this mean you’re settling if you simply just love someone?

First, we have to consider what being “in love”even means, but I assume it’s different for everyone. Even Google didn’t have a succinct answer. Common descriptors however, included words like: yearning,…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

The Countdown.

T – 31 Days: The Lease.

I knew this time would eventually come. Something to break my heart and make it real. I didn’t need to sign it until the 6th, but I signed it on the 2nd. I purposely scheduled it for Thursday when he would be out most of the morning and afternoon. I’ve been signing leases with big property management companies for the past two years, so this was cake. I signed. I had a…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

The Truth and the Lies of Therapy.

The Truth and the Lies of Therapy.

Not everyone needs therapy, but all of us could use it. Yet, those could benefit from it the most refuse to go. And that’s OK. One shouldn’t be shamed or forced to go to therapy. I had the fortunate and unfortunate privilege of being put in a situation where I almost had no choice. In other words, I was depressed and desperate, but it still felt like MYchoice. However, if you are interested and…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

i know i shouldn't, but i do.

i know i shouldn’t, but i do.

I know I shouldn’t do it, but I do – compare. From the flatness of her stomach, to the curves on her hips – I am lacking. The cleavage, the light eyes, the dimples, the curly hair. But I have the crooked teeth, the wrinkles, and the dull skin. When I want the long legs, full lips and perfect complexion. It doesn’t end there. I think I suck when I see them – snowboarding, riding motorcycles, and being…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

i know i shouldn't do it, but i do.

i know i shouldn’t do it, but i do.

I know I shouldn't do it, but I do - compare. From the flatness of her stomach, to the curves on her hips - I am lacking. The cleavage, the light eyes, the dimples, the curly hair. But I have the crooked teeth, the wrinkles, and the dull skin. When I want the long legs, full lips and perfect complexion. It doesn't end there. I think I suck when I see them - snowboarding, riding motorcycles, and…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

0 to 2 real quick.

0 to 2 real quick.

When we’re starving, we want to eat. When we’re thirsty, we want to drink. So when we’re sad, we of course want to be happy. But it’s never as easy as stuffing our face with a burrito or chugging a tall glass of water when it comes to satiating our feelings.

Instead, we take drugs and drink alcohol. We start a new gym regimen or take up yoga. We immerse ourselves in a new project or find our…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

Apples and Trees.

A friend of mine started sharing random videos of cute babies doing cute things after she realized I held the same affinity for them. During one of our ovary kicking conversations, she expressed that she wanted to have a baby soon. However, she was scared to bring one into this crazy world. From as far back as I can remember, “I’m scared to bring a child into this crazy world” has been a common…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

you're a bird.

you’re a bird.

The other day I was sad. Not sad, sad. Just little kid sad, pouting and stuff. It was 79 degrees and we don’t have a deck, or a balcony, or a backyard, or nearby beach or park to lay out in and we’ve been in purgatory for 53 days. You were waist deep in work, but looked at me sulking long enough to say, “You’re a bird, you need to be free”. And for a second, I loved you like it was the first time…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

QuaranTime.

It is now officially Day 40 of shelter in place (SIP), although technically Day 48 for me. I suppose it’s now appropriate to call whatever the fuck is going on “the new (but don’t forget temporary) normal”. While I never thought shit was a joke, I initially and naively rescheduled a March 14th dinner reservation to April 19th with an overzealous optimism. I’ve since cancelled it as well as the…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

Day 68 - The Isolation Journals: The Unlearning

Day 68 – The Isolation Journals: The Unlearning

Your prompt for today: Reflect on the first time you became aware of race—either yours or someone else’s. What meaning did you make of it then? How has that meaning evolved?

I was lucky/privileged/blessed – whatever you want to call it, to have never experienced racism growing up. At least not knowingly. No one ever called me a “chink” and I was never hit on by men with “East Infections”. I was…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

Dear Black Kings and Queens,

I am embarrassed. I want to be there for you, but I don’t know how. I want to ask you how you are doing, but feel like that’s a dumb question. I’ve reposted, I’ve donated, I’ve cried, I’ve questioned, I’ve checked privilege in my family and myself, I’ve informed, I’ve researched, I’m empathized out of my comfort zone, and I still feel as if it’s not enough. Yet, this…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

Feel Me.

I used to pride myself in being able to write what other people felt or thought, but could never quite articulate. I struggled for a while to find validity in my writing, wishing I had real talent. Something quantitative, like being able to play the guitar by ear or effortlessly snowboarding down a black diamond. No one tells the room to quiet down, so people can gather around – eyes gleaming as…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

Murder She Wrote.

She is a writer and she is a warrior. Carrying a machete full of metaphors and shield of similes. With her pen, she can blow minds and slash tongues. Make men rub their chin, make women clutch their heart, and make black hearts bleed Blood – black and blue, spilling my guts and my heart out to you. Staining coke white lines darker than doubts. With her fingers on the keys, she can start fires or…

View On WordPress

[girlsarethenewboys]

How A 3-Day Juice Cleanse Landed Me in the ER.

How A 3-Day Juice Cleanse Landed Me in the ER.

After eating a dozen cookies and having a conversation with my friend about eating the dozen cookies, she gave me the “great” idea to go on a juice cleanse. Unbeknownst to me, when most people say they’re detoxing, they usually mean only for a day. I honestly think it was an adverse effect from being all sugared up and under quarantine for so long, because nothing else could explain why I was so…

View On WordPress