I don’t believe you need to be totally dominant or spend your whole life cracking the whip, but you should at least be cognizant of how you’re allowing men to treat you, especially when you’re not in an exclusive relationship. I’ve found that having a no nonsense attitude when it comes to my relationships does more for me than passivity or indifference. I have no interest in wasting my life with someone I can’t stand or have to whip into shape, someone I have to carry on my back or force to be ambitious, or someone who can’t handle the realities that come with being an adult and interacting with women and the real world.
Strictness, standards, and self awareness are all essential; life and dating become so much easier when you’re willing to use all three to your advantage, and the right man will understand. If you don’t want to have your time wasted, you have to be willing to put your foot down and keep it down; women have been conditioned to be kind to spare the feelings of inadequate men and to deal with an endless onslaught of bullshit from partners who bring nothing of substance to their relationship. Men, on the other hand, have been taught that taking advantage of women and their kindness is normal; they’re shocked when things don’t go their way or they’re turned down by women they view as easy to manipulate or targets.
I was raised by a woman who brought me up to have no patience for men who were wishy washy on me, manipulative, childish, unable to hold a job, or careless with me. I swear by the way I was brought up, and I honestly believe that putting up with less, expecting more, not settling for any treatment I feel is unsatisfactory or demeaning, and cutting men off before they can start to play their games with me has done me a lot of good. Know that you shouldn’t be begging for attention, breaking your back to get a man to treat you appropriately, or going out of your way to get a man to see you and appreciate all of your efforts.
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