fucked up!chan x f!reader
synopsis ⋆˚꩜｡ after growing close with your new neighbor, you begin to realize his lack of identity.
genre ⋆˚࿔ in all parts there will be angst, smut, fluff, crack, lit all of above. in this there is slight angst, friendship things, and smut. (only a heavy makeout sesh)
cw: little mention of loneliness, make out, soft biting, dry humping, implied anxiety attack?
It’s been a week. A week since Carson moved in next door, and every day you’ve dedicated at least an hour of your time to dig up any information on him. Such as his school, college maybe, commercials?, literally anything???
Not even a social media account. It’s like.. really disturbing. Either he’s a creep and an offender or he’s extremely down to earth and wise. No in between. When you told Hannah about it, she found it extremely funny and interesting.
“Cool… a mystery guy. So fun. Maybe you can crack him open and get the mystery to spill” She said. You are uncomfortable.
You slam your laptop shut in annoyance at once again another empty search. How? Genuinely how. Not even any school records. He can’t be real.
You glance toward the front door, your eyes squinting in suspicion. You stand up, and another knock comes. You open the door to see Carson.
He stands there in his black cap, a white, tight, tank top (damn what the fuck) and gray baggy sweats. He looks up once you appear in the doorway, and smiles.
“Hey, Y/N! Sorry to bother, but I just need some help. I know you work in that cafe, could you possibly help me with my coffee machine? It’s making a weird noise and nothing will come out.” He chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
You blink, a slow grin forming. “Sure, Carson.” You chuckle.
Entering his house, you’re shocked by the amount of boxes. A couch, table, and a tv that sits on a small dresser. The rest of the house are boxes. Except from the kitchen, there sits a microwave and a coffee maker. You smile at him, and approach the machine.
“I know, it’s a mess in here. I’ve got no motivation,” He chuckles awkwardly.
You nod and shrug, beginning to inspect the machine, removing the lid. “No big deal. I get it. Plus, if you need help i’m always available. My life is pretty boring.”
“Ah, thank you. Much appreciated.” He replies gently.
“Yeah, don’t mention it.” You smile, glancing at him. You bend down and look at the coffee machines spout, then hum. “Oh, it’s just clogged, Carson. All you gotta do is clean out the spout.” You smile and step back from the machine, then turn to face him.
He laughs and sets his forehead on his palm, “Makes sense.” He crosses his arms, “That’s embarrassing. I promise I clean my stuff.”
“I believe you,” You laugh, raising your hands in surrender. “I feel honored that you asked me for help, though.”
“You’re my only friend currently, so.”
“Sorry! Not to make you uncomfortable,” He defends, shaking his head.
“No, no! It’s okay! I was just caught off guard, don’t worry about it.” You mutter, “I’m glad i’m a friend.”
You smile and begin to walk toward the front door, but you halter. Then sigh, “Hey, question. Did you go to school?”
He looks over from his coffee maker, and meets your gaze. He blinks, then smiles innocently. “I was homeschooled.”
You nod, smiling as you purse your lips tight. You click your tongue, “Makes sense.”
“Whys that make sense?” He replies curiously, cocking a brow.
You blink, and a noise escapes your throat, kind of like a broken ‘uh’, “I don’t know, sorry! Just talking to talk.” You giggle, and nod again. “Talk to you later!”
You escape his home before you can embarrass yourself any further.
You noticed it when you first saw him at the cafe, but now you’re really noticing it.
Carson is beautiful. Plump lips, a big (but hot) nose, light brown eyebrows that contrast his bright blonde hair, brown eyes with a loving sparkle in them, pale clear skin, and a fucking hot body.
It’s truly infuriating. He is big. He is a big boy, yes. Large biceps, even bigger shoulders, a toned back, and you can’t even imagine the abs if you were to ever see them. It’s weird, this man is so mysterious, but so hot. This is some book trope shit.
You’ve honestly caught yourself analyzing how his teeth catch between his bottom lip when he lifts the boxes in his home, it’s embarrassing. No, you do not like him. But yes, he’s hot as fuck.
“Y/N?” He says quietly from behind you, and you flinch. His hand shoots forward to gently set on your lower back, “You okay?” He laughs.
You blink, your back unintentionally arching in his hold. Once realization kicks in, you laugh and step back with a nod. “Sorry, I’m a mess. I didn’t get much sleep.”
His expression visibly frowns, “Why not? You need sleep.”
“I—“ Can he stop. “I got home late, I went out.” You end up lying, smiling with a shrug.
He chuckles, “Okay, reasonable. It’ll slide. But you need sleep. Sleep over fun, always.” He smiles, and then turns to approach the box that sits outside of his bedroom door.
Oh yeah. You were helping him put the boxes in the correct room. Shit.
You push your own assigned box, following him into his room. It is dead empty, literal crickets.
“Not even a bed? Where do you sleep, Carson?” You say blankly, shocked.
He chuckles, pushing his box further into his room. “The couch.”
“No shot you can fit.” You laugh, turning your head toward him with widened eyes.
He genuinely cackles at that, “I’m not fat!! I’m just toned, I fit.”
You blink, shaking your head. “More than toned, respectfully.”
He chuckles, his ears turning red. He glances away, very clearly flustered. You giggle a little, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to like… disturb you. I meant it in a friendly way.”
“It’s alright. Much appreciated.” He hums, moving past you casually to his living room. “Welp, that’s it. Now i’ve just gotta unpack it all. Thank you for your help, that went much faster with company.”
“You’re always welcome over, anytime. You’ll have to come for dinner some day. Get to know each other. As friends.” He says kindly, leaning against a wall that is placed near his entrance door.
You approach the door, beaming at his words. “Thank you! Yeah, for sure. It’s been really nice meeting you, Carson. Bye.” Then you leave.
Whew. Fresh air. Jesus, the air in there is sexy air. I need some innocent air.
Approaching your house, you sigh. Your phone dings as you turn the doorknob, pushing open the door as you grab your phone from your back pocket.
Hey! Come by your place tonight? I’m in town with my parents! They had to go by the house, and my manager let me come.
You smile at your phone, shutting the door with your foot. Approaching your couch, you type back.
Always! Maybe you can finally meet Carson☺️
“It’s so relieving, and genuinely makes me feel like i’m gaining brain cells back.” Carson laughs, talking about music. His forearms are set on your counter as he leans forward, his face level with yours as you sit across from him on a chair.
“Makes sense. My best friend is an artist, I really enjoy her music. Other than that, not too big a fan.” You chuckle, setting your jaw on your palm, elbow resting against the counter.
“Hey, speaking of best friend, she’s supposed to be coming by. Are you up for meeting her?” You smile as you reach beside him to adjust a decoration, asking casually, as if you only asked him to grab something for you.
You blink, leaning back into your spot with a smile. “Hello? Earth to Cars— Carson?” You say softly, staring at his expression.
He’s quiet, and he truly looks like he’s seen a ghost. The sparkle you’d noticed in his eyes before, gone. His lips are tight. You stand up, “Carson, you’re scaring me.”
He looks up at you quickly, his harsh expression falling slightly to one of hurt.
“I’m sorry, I have to go. I can’t. Maybe another day, Y/N.” Is all he says, and he’s gone. He’s just gone.
What the fuck? Truly, what just happened? He looked like he just had a silent panic attack. Your heart is tight.
Plus, that hurt expression looked almost too much like—
“Y/N!!” Hannah calls from the entrance, smiling as she enters your house. “Wow, it is beautiful in here!” She chuckles.
You give a soft smile, approaching her. “Thank you, Hannah.”
She smiles, furrowing her eyebrows as she steps in for a hug. She wraps her arms around you, pulling you in. “You good?”
You hug her back, and smile softly after she lets go and steps away. “I’m okay, yeah. I don’t know— Carson just rushed off after I told him to meet you.”
She hums, nodding as she approaches my counter and lifts herself up, sitting on the end. “Ah, so a case of avoidance? Maybe he got nervous cause you wanted him to meet someone important to you.”
You shrug, and smile. That makes sense. “Yeah. Most likely. I’ll have to talk to him about it later.”
Hannah smiles, then gently nudges your arm with her foot. “It’s okay, babe. You guys have only just met like a month ago. Plus, you’re only friends right now.”
“Come on, sit up here with me. Let’s talk about it all. I’ve missed my best friend.” She coos, and you laugh as you follow her action and lift yourself onto the counter.
You approach his front door the next day, sighing as you make it to the top step. You feel so bad about last night, you just practically forced that. It was last minute, and random as hell. You want to apologize.
So you knock. Knock knock
You stand there silently after the knock, shifting your weight back and forth from your heels to your toes. Your lips are pursed together, as you stare off into space.
With no response, you lift your hand again to knock without looking at the door. You push your knuckles against the wood, only to find them meeting fabric that covers a stiff surface. You blink quickly and turn toward the doorway to see Carson.
You yank your hand away, “Sorry! I wasn’t paying attention!!”
He smiles, and steps aside to invite you in. “It’s fine, no worries.”
You hum in embarrassment, stepping inside his house. You hear the door slam shut behind you, then turn to face Carson. Immediately, “I’m so sorry, Carson. I didn’t mean to force you into meeting Hannah. I was just excited cause she’s my best friend and you’re my best friend here and I just knew she’d like you and, yeah. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
It’s quiet for a moment and you stuff your face in your palms, groaning in embarrassment. Then you feel warmth against both sides of your waist, and a finger gently rubbing on each side.
You open your eyes to find Carson a few feet infront of you, and he smiles as your gaze meets his own. “It is okay, Y/N. I shouldn’t have freaked out. I just got nervous.”
You smile, and awkwardly laugh. “Okay. I’m glad it’s cleared up.”
It’s quiet for a moment as you guys hold eye contact, and you glance away with a huff. His smile grows. He lifts one hand from your waist, gliding it carefully up your torso and to the side of your neck. He pushes a strand of hair back, his palm resting against your, now red, cheek.
“I don’t talk to my family, nor have any friends as I mentioned days ago.” He starts quietly, “So i’m not great at socialization. I’m lucky I made it far with you.”
You blink once, then twice. Turning your gaze back to his own. Your lips are tight, and you chuckle softly.
“Yeah, you’ve about scared me off a few times. But i’m a brave person.” You tease.
He grins at that, scoffing, “Damn. Aren’t I a lucky man that got an unexpected chance?”
You giggle, and nod, your gaze shooting between his features. His beautiful, and unfairly handsome features.
It’s quiet now, but comfortable, as you guys hold each others gaze. Usually, this would be so awkward. But right now? With him?? You feel weirdly safe. So safe, that your face is involuntarily trying to meet his own.
It continues its path, until the warmth of his breath is felt against your lips. The heat drowning the cold that has lingered against your mouth due to the unusually low temperature of his house.
The warmth is so strong, it feels like your lips are already covered. But you know they aren’t, not when his lips push forward and finally hug your own. The heat of his mouth finally is at its max against your own, and he hums. His hand drifts from your waist to your back, pulling you closer with an arch of your back.
Your hands guide up his arms, holding gently onto his large biceps. Your palms not even being the full size of his bicep, his realization of that causes the kiss to deepen. His mouth parts cautiously, then continues once you do the same. You step back, his feet following you. The steps continue, until the back of your knees hit the couch.
You giggle and pull away for a moment, glancing back at the couch as you lower down. He smiles, staying on top of your body. His muscles pin you unintentionally, and he leans down once again. Your lips meet, and immediately begin to move in their own shared rhythm that you both have already picked up on. His tongue darts out gently, and your lips part, allowing it to enter. He groans at that, his fingers tightening against you ever so slightly as his hand drifts back to your waist.
You hum gently, your legs parting further to wrap around his hips. You interlock your ankles behind him, and his breath hitches.
“Shit, Y/N.” He whispers against your lips. He drags his mouth to the corner of your own, then your jaw, your neck, the nape of your neck, then to your collarbone. He nips there slightly, and that encourages a soft whimper to slip out from between your lips. He hums against your collarbone, then drags his tongue along the subtle teeth mark. He places kisses along where he did before, moving back up.
You tighten your legs around his hips, and he groans unintentionally against the corner of your mouth. You feel a stiffness grow against your thigh, and that causes a heat to pool in your lower belly. You move your hands from his biceps, setting them to the sides of his neck. He presses his lips back against yours with a hum, and you return the favor. You feel the stiffness against your thigh continue, and gasp at the feeling of his hips rocking once.
The heat in your lower stomach grows stronger, and you whine as you continue to kiss him passionately. His tongue or your own slipping in the other’s mouth occasionally. He rocks once more, the sound of both your whimper and his groan filling your ears.
It was as if the sound of both of your pleasure snapped you back into reality.
You cannot do this. You’re not this type of person, this means something to you.
Your whimper defies you as he rocks once more, his mouth losing his pace. He instead drops his face into the nape of your neck, licking gently as you whimper once again.
He rocks. Your grip tightens, “Fuck,” you whisper.
Then, you both stop. It was like that sound allowed both of you to realize what was going on. He lifts off of you slowly, and you allow your legs to drop.
He runs his hand down his face, “Shit, Y/N, i’m so sorry. That got so out of hand—“
“No, it’s okay, Carson. It wasn’t just you.” You say softly, your panting slowing down significantly as the coldness from his home begins to swallow you again.
You stand up, and he sighs as he adjusts his body to sit normally against his couch. You can’t help but notice the bulge in his sweats, the bulge that you’re gonna have to leave unattended.
But, it was a mutual thing.
“I’m sorry, again.” He mutters.
“It’s okay, really.. I’ll— talk to you later.” You say softly, watching him nod. You walk toward his front door.
guys i truly love this story:>
tags: @tpwkzoey101 @skzswife @irikara @scarlettsblog @matchaafterhours
