Since I need an outlet, lemme share my story here, where no one can read what’s on my mind.. 😂
I am a bit hesitant if I should, but I will.
Years ago, I left my church for a reason of “kung saan makakapaglingkod si Mommy ng maayos, I will give way” I thought, I was being a good child, cause I know my mom wants to serve. I also believe of “makakapaglingkod ka pa din naman kahit hindi sa church” and yes, it’s true.. but the past year were all tragic stories happened, I was shaken.. I believe my faith is shaking, or maybe, God is shaking me.. I didn’t loose my faith, I didn’t stop attending to church, worshipping and praying. I equipped myself to a relationship were God wouldn’t forget that I am still existing. Many if my prayers were answered, and I thought of “God is still with me naman” and it’s true..
But don’t get me wrong, I am not into “don’t serve to church na cause you can serve naman kahit hindi doon.” I was wrong of thinking that, only the grace of God sustained me.. I guess, because it works both ways, I promise myself not to loose myself in the presence of God because I can’t live without Him, but At some point, I felt the need to serve.. the way I serve before.. the “on fire service”. I miss singing for Him, I miss Him accompanying me whenever I stand. I guess, I missed Him so much, and He miss me that’s why He calls me again.
Last November, I heard Him clearly say “I miss you!” That small tiny voice. I know it’s Him. I know He wants to touch me. I cried, pray and speak to Him saying “Lord if anong gusto mo, wherever You would call me, I will follow.”
Days passed and I still feel Him calling me, upto now writing this actually.
One thing I am thankful is that, instead of loosing my faith, He used my husband to show me that His Grace is still with me.
When I prayed for a lifetime partner after a tragic history of breakup to my 3year ex, well almost 9years together including the ligawan stage, I asked God, give me someone I can fall completely head over hills. 😂 and there come my hisband, but He is not a believer, I asked God, “Lord kung hindi mo will, hatakin mo na ako agad, hirap magmove on eh. Pero kung will mo, makakakilala sya, without me forcing Him” and then the story happens 😂 so I said, Lord your grace.. I am overwhelmed, and now He is not just a believer but also a tither, but that is not my story to tell. 😂
Anyways, back to my story (where no one can read) 😂 I am asking God now, “Lord ito nanaman if will mo, susunod ako! Kahit anong mangyare, kahit sa anong paraan, (Kahit kinakabahan) basta Lord isama mo ang mister ko na maglingkod.” Praying! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
How could it be possible? The Lord has His ways. And just this new year, God gave me a word “and as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15”
The Lord has His ways! Amazing!
Qnd as I am still finding what would be my part, or in what way I can serve or we can serve Him, I am still praying that as He called me, may His presence be with me!
Still praying and Hoping 🙏🏻
But now, let me say To God be the Glory! 🙌🏻 kahit wala pa. Kasi alam ko, He will make a way! 🙌🏻
