I’m working on transitioning this stray cat to indoors only (she only comes in when it’s cold right now) and I decided you guys need to see her
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@glanceart
I’m working on transitioning this stray cat to indoors only (she only comes in when it’s cold right now) and I decided you guys need to see her
Velvet Crowe / Tales of Berseria
What’s going on with me now?
CW: Cancer, medical
There’s been a few things happening with my situation, good and bad. TLDR; I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer back in October, and I’ve been getting treatments since then.
As always, please don’t feel like you need to subject yourself to the details if this kinda thing bothers you. It just helps me just to talk about it, and I think it helps some people who are going through a similar situation if I am honest about it.
Last time I updated, my liver wasn’t doing so well. Thankfully, that’s improved a lot. It’s not 100% cancer-free, but the cancer in my liver shrank enough for it to heal a little, and now I have a healthy level of liver function.
Thanks to that, I’ve been able to handle a lot more chemo, and it’s been effective so far. The cancer masses in my bones have all reduced in size quite a bit. Stage 4 cancer can’t be cured, but at least it isn’t spreading.
The bad news. Some of the lesions did significant damage. My doctors say they’ve done everything they can, and the rest is irreversible. I can do my best at exercising and getting lots of healthy food to regrow some of the bone density and muscle mass, but they wanted me to have realistic expectations.
The pain is manageable with drugs. It never completely goes away, but I am comfortable enough most of the time. Physical activity aggravates it and makes it flare up really fast though, so my mobility is severely limited. I can walk for a few minutes at a time, and sometimes I can sit up at my desk for a few hours before it’s really killing me. But most of the time, I’m stuck in bed.
Hopefully that’ll improve as I get stronger, but it’s likely I won’t be able to go back to work. I will have to adjust to living with this as a permanent disability.
Understanding that has helped me balance what kind of medications to take, when I can push myself, and when I shouldn’t. I’ve been able to draw a little more lately. That’s a big deal for me, it makes me feel a lot better.
Hopefully I can stay on chemo for a good long while, since it’s working. My doctors said that eventually it won’t work anymore, that’s just how it goes. They cant tell me how long. It could be months or years. They put me in touch with another hospital that specializes in the next stage of treatment, so I can have it all set up before I get to that point.
The second stage treatments look like they have good results, so I could be doing good for years to come. I hope so, at least.
And who knows what kind of medical advancement they might have by then? Maybe it could be a lot better.
There’s no guarantee, but I choose to be optimistic about these things when I can.
That’s all I can do for now. If you’re reading this and keeping up with my journey, thanks so much for your care ❤️. Regardless of how healthy I am, I hope I can get back into the swing of doing my art soon.
Sending my love to all of you! Take care of yourselves out there, and take care of each other.
Mint, Tales of Phantasia
I drew this one to celebrate Lifebottle Productions’ new Phantasia patch! It’s one of the earlier Tales games I never played, and I’m having a lot of fun with it.
If you want to try Phantasia and other older tales games, I really recommend Lifebottle! You can find out more about their translations and mods on their website: https://www.lifebottle.org
Volunteer group dedicated to the Tales franchise
A few people have asked where they can contribute to helping me out, so here are some links!
GoFundMe
Hi, my name is Steph. This fundraiser is for someone very important to me who has … Steph Bassett needs your support for Support Jamie's Bat
I’m so blown away that my gofundme has raised over $14k. Thanks to this, I am not on the street, I am not starving. The money definitely does help, but I am asking only donate if you yourself are financially stable and prepped for your own emergencies first.
Most of it is going to savings in case I need to continue treatment after my Medicaid expires in a year (likely) and in case I’m still unable to work and I am not approved for disability etc.
Amazon Wishlist
Check out my list on Amazon
This is a list of things that I need on a day-to-day and it really helps cut down how much of my savings I spend on personal items.
If you’d like to use a different service than Amazon, I can give you an address. It was simply the easiest site for wishlisting.
Donate Unwanted Items
If you DM me, I can send a mailing address where you can send any items that you don’t use.
I am good on wigs right now! If you have extra wigs to get rid of, I’m sure someone else out there could use one.
What I use the most are comfort items like hats and head covers, blankets, candles, shelf stable snacks, tea, etc. Entertainment items like books or subscription cards.
Handwritten Correspondence
I like to receive well-wishes and some people find this easier to do indirectly by written mail or cards. I save all these and it’s nice for encouragement! DM me for an address.
DM Messages are Welcome
Of course, I appreciate regular online wishes, even just a like on my posts feels seen.
I’m so thankful to everyone who has helped me out so far, so much I don’t even know how to express it in words.
My doctor said the chemo reaction was no big deal, they’ve got a non-reactive version they can give me. The only reason they don’t start with the safer chemo is because it’s more expensive and insurance is stupid like that. You have to prove you’re allergic first even though it affects over half of people who try it, I think?
Anyway, so I had my chemo and I feel a lot better. My hair started coming out and I look like Weird Barbie m, but I’m keeping my food down and I don’t itch all over, so I’m definitely okay with this.
We talked about long-term plans I’ll have to think about in two months to continue treatment. There’s a treatment study group that shows a lot of improvement on people with my condition, but it’s in an other city and I’d have to relocate. My extended family was really sweet and happy to put me up, but we haven’t been close since I was a kid. So I’m not sure, I think I’d feel a lot better if Medicaid could provide affordable housing for me or something. The other place was all the way in Houston Texas, though (about 8 hrs away from my family right now). So it would definitely be preferable.
Being in a place where people are talking about “long-term plans” is nice at any rate, considering a few months ago I didn’t know if I’d even make it.
Right now my biggest problem is there’s potentially a lesion in my right shoulder, and that’s my dominant side. I just want to draawwww damn. They’re gonna do localized radiation and some physical therapy, hope that fixes it up enough.
A little more about the cancer situation. I apologize for not posting more often. I’m frequently exhausted and it’s hard to write especially.
For a while, things were looking pretty grim because my liver function was way too high. They said I was borderline needing to be hospitalized. Chemo poses a risk even to normal healthy livers, and in damaged liver it’s extremely dangerous. They were limited to treating me with immunotherapy and hoping that it would fight the cancer enough to bring those numbers down.
I asked them if it’s because I started vaping about a year ago, or if it’s because I’m not healthy enough, or I don’t drink enough fluid, or what. I asked if there’s any vitamins I can take or food I can eat to help strengthen it.
They said no, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s cancer. They said to stop vaping anyway, but there’s nothing to be done about it except rest.
I had to have a talk with my parents about my diet, because they were certain I should stop eating sugar because “it feeds the cancer.” I don’t really blame them for wanting that to be true. I’m sure that like me, they just wanted to think there’s something in the world they could do to help tip the odds. But I had to have a talk with them about my doctor saying I need as many calories as I can take. If that means sugar/carbs/fat then that’s no problem.
It’s because of the taste changes and appetite issue. My doctor basically said I need to eat real food, but if covering my food in sugar is the way I’ll eat it, then go ahead and do that. I don’t literally cover my food in sugar, but some days I feel like I can’t eat unless it’s ice cream or yogurt for example, and that’s okay.
The change in appetite is difficult because it’s not changed in one consistent direction. It’s a slot machine of “what can I taste today.” Some days salt makes me gag, other days it’s like I literally can’t taste food unless it’s been salt crusted. One day I’ll choke because a sprinkle of cracked black pepper is too spicy, and other days I’ll pour hot sauce on everything just to taste it.
But after a few weeks of struggling to eat and getting as much rest as possible, the immune therapy did work and my liver numbers returns to a normal zone. Now I’m taking a combo of immune therapy and the more traditional chemotherapy.
As far as how I feel, it’s been pretty rough. Physically, it hurts to move. The cancer has spread to bones in spots all over my body, so there’s no telling where the pain will be day to day. It’s usually in my hips and shoulders. They put me on 24/7 extended release pain medicine, so it is manageable now. But I still need to pop an instant release tablet because certain aches and pains will break through.
I’m really tired all the time. I sleep probably 10 hours every day, and most of my awake time is spent in bed. I can walk, but if I’m up for more than 20 mins about, I start to feel really winded. If this is long term, I might need a wheelchair.
I have a 99.5F fever almost all the time. The doctor said this is normal, it’s just my immune system responding to the medicine. But they gave me injections I had to administer myself once a day for a week for white blood cell stimulation. Since then I don’t have the fever all the time, so I’m glad. But I’ve never done diabetes/hormones anything like that, so it was scary to figure out on my own. My fear of needles isn’t like a full on phobia or anything, it just really stresses me out.
Mentally, I’m okay. My main worry is that I can’t work, and I’m spending too much of the donation money I received, which should really be for emergency. Main thing is food, really. Food that is easy to prepare and also appeals to my taste bud roulette is kinda pricy, especially meal replacement drinks and such.
I haven’t been up to working on my Patreon comic yet, and I think it would be a bad idea to open commissions in my state. But I have been doing some crafts and some watercolor, and maybe I’ll be able to sell those and make a bit of income like that. Even just a little would help.
I’m mostly sad about being separate from my newlywed husband, he’s such a good boy and we were just about to be so happy together. I miss him a lot. But he did get a cat from his local shelter, so he’s not totally alone up there.
This is a very trauma-induced kind of thing, but maybe some of you guys can relate. It’s like, when things are going really well for me, and I’m finally going to be happy and start my life for real, I get a sense of dread and almost a paranoia something bad is about to happen and ruin that for me. Like it’s too good to be true, or like I’m not allowed to be that happy. This has really reinforced that fear for me, unfortunately.
But aside from that, I think I’m taking it pretty well. I haven’t been depressed or anxious, not really. I am worried about money, but not to an extent that I have to force myself to stay on the grind even with my body giving out under me.
And, I have gotten a lot of support. I was so surprised. I thought I’d get a little help from a few friends, but the amount of support I’ve been getting from friends as well as complete strangers who heard my story, it completely took me by surprise and I’m still trying to find a way to process it all. I feel like I have to give something back, or at least pay it forward in some kind of way.
So, even if I feel terrible and my luck is absolutely the worst, I can’t feel hopeless or alone because so many people genuinely wanted to help me.
Drawing some of the animals at my dad’s house.
Content warning: Cancer, medical, illness
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with breast cancer stage 4. It’s a very serious and aggressive cancer, so I’m spending most of my time and energy just trying to get better.
Tumblr lets me write longer format journaling, so I thought I’d get into some more of the real facts and feelings than I might expose on other platforms. If that is not your thing, I get it. It’s mostly for me.
First thing people want to know but they’re afraid to ask about is the morbid stuff. I wish I had a clear answer, but it’s hard to tell at this point. Stage 4 is bad, but better than it was years ago. I might live a year, I might live 5 or 20 years. I might live a natural lifespan. This all depends on how well chemo works against my cancer. The doctor described remission as “unlikely” but not impossible. What he said is that I could need chemo for the rest of my life, but that modern treatments may make it possible to live a normal life even if the treatment continues.
Second thing people seem to want to know, but they may feel it’s insensitive to ask: when was it caught? How could you and your doctors miss such a serious cancer?
What I know about it is that I had a surgery for an unrelated issue last year, and there was no flag raised about any cancer back then. So the very farthest back it could before I first felt it was maybe 6 months, being generous.
In April 2025, I went in for a mammogram because I noticed a lump on my breast that hadn’t been there to my knowledge as little as 2 weeks prior, and it was pretty big. I went to the coordinator for my endo study group, because they needed a mamo from me anyway. The doctor said the mammogram and his breast inspection didn’t show enough characteristics of cancer to be at risk. I got a big letter that said “benign” on it. So I sighed some relief and went back to not worrying about it.
It didn’t cause me any alarm until August, I started feeling another lump, this time in the lymph node. It was squishy and movable, so I assumed it was a cyst or something. I also noticed my left hip hurting a lot, and not getting better with rest.
I have endometriosis, which is a chronic pain condition, so the presence of pain in my hips and meds I take for that often mask other stuff going on with me.
At this point I had just lost my insurance, couldn’t get back on marketplace until November. I couldn’t just book a mammogram. So I went to an urgent care clinic and paid to have a doctor check it out and get an opinion. The doctor just poked it a bit. I told her about the other big lump, and how it was growing. She said it didn’t seem like anything of alarm, and to go to the ER if it was swelling or I had a fever. They didn’t give me any X-rays, blood tests, or anything. I don’t know if getting those things would have caught it, but I left feeling very disappointed. I could not afford the ER and couldn’t justify going unless something changed.
Now it’s September, and the thing that changed was the supposedly benign tumor started pushing up through my skin. I panic-googled and saw a bunch of “that’s cancer” results, so I called my study doctor again to see if they could move up my next mamo, which had been scheduled all the way in October.
They were able to do that for me free of cost, which was great. But still, weird. Even at the scan they were telling me “it’s probably nothing” and “it’s probably just the endo” and lots of reassurance. In hindsight, I think they were just trying to console my panic, but it was a disservice in the end.
My study coordinator (not the doctor) called a few days later in a panic saying this looks bad, real bad. I need a biopsy asap. She could schedule one the next week.
I get the biopsy, then I call a lot asking where are the results? Almost another full week, I finally get results. It is cancer. Now I need a review from an oncologist. But the doctor reassured me again, to him it looks like I just need few months of chemo, I’ll be fine. I’m relieved again. I tell my family I have cancer, but it’s not the bad cancer.
Additional context for this entire time period: I’m trying to get married to my fiance who lives in Canada, and I’m moving up there asap so that we can finally live together. We booked an oncologist before we left to make sure no time is wasted, and we consult the doctor before leaving. We ask, how serious does it look? Will waiting one week to move make any significant difference? He says, the soonest he could get someone in the US to see me is two weeks minimum anyway, so it doesn’t seem like a problem. We decide to go.
We see a private doctor in Canada asap. He sets us up with a PET scan asap. To the credit of the Canadian healthcare system, this part was fast and the clinic was very helpful.
If I had more foresight powers, I might have noticed the Canadian oncologist blinking weirdly and asking things like “interesting…” whenever we told him the US doctor’s take on the situation.
Then his assistant strongly advised us to start calling hospitals and being proactive about finding one ASAP because recently, it’s been difficult. They could do scans and biopsy and surgery, but not chemotherapy. That could only be handled by a hospital.
Apparently there is a huge influx of people entering Canada in hope of getting medical assistance because of the political situation here, and they are overrun. The acceptance had become strict. My spouse was shocked that even as his wife; they’d just say no. Not until the visa is processed and health card is in your hand. We offered to pay out of pocket, or do anything so that I could stay there, but the few clinics that would allow it were full.
On the 16th we got the PET scan, and as soon as the doctor opened it, I was aghast. The scan was lit up with cancer all over my body when I had been told this looked like a common thing like what my mom and grandma had before. He pointed to so much of my chest covered, the hip, the femur, the liver. I was so out of it, I didn’t even know what to say.
My spouse had the wherewithal to ask “what stage is it?” The doctor said, it’s stage 4. Like we should have known, or like it was obvious.
He said I had to get to any hospital that would take me, and go as fast as I could.
Fortunately I was approved for Alabama Medicaid on emergency breast cancer basis, otherwise idk what I would have done. I would be screwed. This covers any cancer-related procedure.
My dad and stepmom offered me to stay with them while I’m getting the treatment. But, my spouse can’t come. He can’t leave his job in Canada. He just signed a lease for an apartment that we were supposed to be living in. We are separated again after we finally figured it all out. It was crushing.
I went back to Alabama the very next flight, and then it became a matter of getting the doctors here to understand how dire the condition was.
I’d talk to a receptionist and she’d say “how about we get you in next month?” And I’d say “I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t HAVE a month. I need to be for consultation in next business day, or you will have to let me call another clinic.”
Managed to get one that Tuesday, not Monday, but still pretty good.
Keeping up with the timeline, it’s Oct 21st when I see them. Finally the doctors are like yeah, this is serious, we need this right away, and everything is rolling.
So that’s a process of about 5 months between be going “oh, I feel a lump” to finally, we are starting your treatment now. I don’t know if that is an unusual turn around time. Never done this before. I’d like to think that it’s the rare and unusually fast-growing nature of my cancer, especially in someone my age, that led them to being so confident about saying it would be super treatable, and fine.
All I know is I did what I was supposed to do. I checked my breast and I went to a doctor.
Tired now. More of the story and hopefully more uplifting feelings when I post again.
witchy soren
the horrible boy with a thousand gravestones hanging from his neck
You can do it, Noelle!
Just be a little more direct!
What would it look like if Kris smiled and they were happy
Can I just talk about how talented the kids in the deltarune community are? I know UTDR fandom is closely connected with webcomics, animation, and Indy games, so it’s not a big surprise. But wow, the kids are doing great. I better roll my sleeves up and cook my hardest so they don’t laugh at old man glance! I’m in my Gerson era now.
Steel your stomach against Susie and Noelle’s baking prowess
Gotta catch all the pancakes!
The Cage