WARNING! Was written in the 2010’s and can be exposed to cringe!!!
(Unless you’re nto that…) Enjoy!
“All hail Il-Palazzo, another day to change the world and the masses. What is our mission for today!” Excel saluted in reverence. Il-Palazzo sneezes and coughs, swiping away the snot pouring out. He clings onto his soft blankets tighter and steadies his breathing.
“Oh dear, Lord Il-Palazzo, are you going to be alright?” Hyatt asks in concern.
“I’m alright Hyatt, it is a small flu, there is no need for worry.”
“Oh Lord Il-Palazzo, I hope you're going to be alright!!!” Excel exclaimed. She ran toward him with her hands wide, but Il-Palazzo whipped out a rocket launcher and shot at her.
Her crisp body lays on the ground, The Great Will of the Macrocosm envelops her body and brings her back to life.
“I would like both of you to not come near me. Having both of you obtain my flu would be just impractical for today’s mission.” Il-Palazzo explains through his sneezes.
“Yes, what is our mission for today?” asks Hyatt.
“Both of you, Hyatt and Excel, are going to go to a BL Convention to obtain a signed series called To Live Without You by the author Rin Hana.”
“B..L..? Is that form of food?’’ Excel scratches her head with a dumfounded expression.
“No Excel. It is not food, though that is always on your mind.’’ Il-Palazzo scrutinized.
“Ha ha…well being dirt broke usually means you don't get food and always be hungry.’’ Excel chuckled nervously.
He sneezed again and cleared his throat. “In short, BL, which is an abbreviation for Boys Love, is fiction about romantic relationships between men. There is also a term called Yaoi, but that genre puts a more emphasis on explicit sexual content.” He paused but then went on, “This is usually popular primarily by women called fujoshi, but it is not limited to them. Many men also like it, they are called fudanshi”
“Oh my, I hadn’t Lord Il-Palazzo had such an intimate hobby.” Hyatt blushes.
Il-Palazzo's face flushed, his cheeks formed a perfect color of peach pink. He loved his hobby despite society considering it “weird.” And with the mix of his intentional cold exterior, he had always hesitated on sharing his interests. Especially with his employees. But he needed it now, it was the first time Rin Hana came to this city to sign their books. He felt cheated out of not going because of his flu sickness. He started questioning if he had made a mistake by telling them when Excel interrupted his thinking.
“It’s alright Lord Il-Palazzo, please rest! We will get their signed manga for you. We all have our hobbies after all!” Excel said with reassurance. He felt a bit more at ease with this, but he stopped himself from showing his gratitude towards her words.
He slightly smiled, “Well, since you both are heading there, I will give you an allowance of $50 each, that will be sufficient enough to buy merchandise as well as a signed manga from the mangaka Rin Hana.”
“Thank so much Lord Il-Palazzo,” Hyatt appreciated, “Maybe this can be a learning experience for us on how the culture of BL is.”
“Yes, I have a feeling you will learn very much, but please do well and be respectful for those who have come there for their own enjoyment.”
“Finally Hyatt, we can learn about a hobby that Lord Il-Palazzo so much loves!” excitedly Excel jumped up and down.
“Yes Senior Excel, who knew he had such an interest, maybe this can be a way to understand him more.”
As Hyatt and Excel walked on to where the BL convention was, there were more and more women surrounding them. There were women wearing shirts with boy love couples, there were women carrying stacks of books in their wagons, there were many merchandise being sold, and there were lines upon lines of women waiting for their author signing.
“Wow Hyatt, I expected it to be popular but not THIS popular.’ Excels felt her head swirl with the claustrophobia of how small it felt to be there.
“Indeed Senior Excel, maybe we should start looking around. Lord Il-Palazzo was so kind enough to give us an allowance.”
“Yeah sure, but don't spend all of it! We can use the rest to pay our bills for this month” Excel warns Hyatt. Excel turns to the audience and the author to explain, “Sadly our wages aren’t that high so we must succumb to this.” Same girl, my job is paying crap right now, if only I can get an allowance from them, but I love what I do so I just deal with it.
Hyatt and Excel explored their environment and found many new interesting things, but they kept on getting lost from each other.
They both caught sight of a Dealers Room selling BL merchandise, they both went with a small group of women. Inside they found rows of clothes, accessories, figurines and manga.
Hyatt caught sight of a paddle with “Yaoi” inscribed on it. She asked what it was to the seller. “Oh, this is a yaoi paddle, you can hit people with it for fun.” Hyatt found it interesting and decided to buy it, it was thankfully only $10. Excel on the other hand, caught sight of a figurine of a shirtless man caressing another shirtless man. Even though she wasn’t a really sexual person, it did stir something inside her. So she bought it, despite being $20, maybe she can use this to hang her clothes or whatever jewelry she has.
“Wow Hyatt, this place sure is expensive.”
“Yes, but with this many fans, I’m not as surprised that it is this high-cost.”
“And the fact the Lord Il-Palazzo is very interested in this ... .it's….it's ... .glorious.” stars bulged out of Excel's eyes.
“I think we should go and look for Rin Hana. Lord Il-Palazzo did say he wanted a signed copy of her latest manga.”
“You're correct, we mustn’t waste time, but where would she be?”
“Let's ask that woman over, I think she works here.”
A few feet from them, there was a tannish woman with short hair who had a badge on her chest. She was close to the door entrance.
“Um, excuse me?” Hyatt started. The woman turned to her.
“Do you know where the mangaka Rin Hana might be?”
The woman, whose name was Aira Otono, softly smiled and looked around, “Uh yeah, I think the signing just started, I think he did a Q and A a moment ago, so you better hurry up. He just down that hallway there,’’ she pointed, “And you’ll find him.”
Hyatt and Excel thanked the woman and moved on their way through the hallway.
“She just called Rin Hana “him,” I didn’t know men wrote BL.” Excel said.
“Yes, but Lord Il-Palazzo did say that this isn’t only restricted to women, and that there are men called fundanshi’s, so it wouldn’t be surprising if they wrote it as well.”
They pushed through their way where lines were protruding through the entrance door. Each for a different mangaka. They found a sign for the line to Rin Hana. They must have come late because the line was long enough that it went past the entrance way.
“Hyatt, I think we might stay here for hours with this many people being here.”
“I know, how shall we get to Rin Hana in time before the Convention gets closed?”
Excel thought for a long while, the little gears in her head started rolling, and she devised a plan, or what she thought was a plan.
“Oh I know, how about we just say there is a fire and we get these people out of here and get a chance to see Rin Hana.” Excel clapped her hands.
“I can see many things going wrong with this Senior Excel.”
“Well I'm not planning to stay here for hours, I'm gonna do it!!!”
“But patience is a good virtue.”
“You think I have virtues?”
Excel went back out through the entrance way and conveniently somebody’s microphone, but since they aren’t here she used it. She screamed into it and warned of a fire at the vendors which is getting everything else on fire. This alarmed some people, and slowly many started panic-running away. At some point huge crowds started moving out of the signing room where Rin Hana was. Excel pushed through her way into the signing room and looked for Hyatt. She found Hyatt laying on the floor with blood dripping out of her mouth, “Oh boy, I should’ve known you would’ve painted.”
Excel hung Hyatt over her shoulders and moved to the empty line where Rin Hana was packing his stuff and planning to leave.
Excel stopped him, she took deep harsh breaths in and said, “Wait…please… I need a….signed copy of…your latest…manga.”
Rin Hana was in disbelief at how the young woman in front of him was.
“But there is a fire, we have to get out of here.”
“Oh, well, there isn’t actually one…we just lied so we can come to you quickly.” Excel tiredly chuckled.
“What! You just caused a whole ruckus for…what…just so you can get my book sign quicker?” he said incredulously.
“I said no, I will not give you a signed copy. You just inconvenienced many of my fans just so you can have it quicker. I can’t believe any fans of mine would be this disrespectful.”
Excel felt a tinge of sorry, but she caught sight of the latest copy, so she grabbed it. Rin Hana noticed what she was doing and tried to grab it out of her hand.
“I’m sorry Rin Hana, but I have to do this for my Lord Il-Palazzo, please forgive me!”
“You crazy lady, you have to pay for it! Now you're gonna steal too!”
Excel took out her money and threw it at Rin Hana, which caught him off guard and made him let go of the manga. Excel took her chance and ran out of the BL Convention as fast as she could.
Later, after getting Hyatt to walk on her own they both entered through the Across Headquarters.
“Geez, I had thrown all our many at him. I'm sorry Hyatt, I don't think we have any for this month's rent.”
“It is inconvenient, but that is alright, as long as we have the latest manga that Lord Il-Palazzo wanted I think we finally did one of our missions correctly.”
“Yes, you’re right! I can't wait to see Lord Il-Palazzo’s reaction!"
They both entered the headquarters room to see Lord Il-Palazzo drinking warm soup. At the sight of both of them, and at the sight of the manga Excel was holding, his eyes lit up.
“So you brought the manga! Please give it to me at once.” Il-Palazzo laid his bowl of hot soup on the ground and stretched his hands for the manga. Excel joyfully gave it to him.
“Oh Lord Il-Palazzo, I hope you are greatly happy with your manga, we have tried our best to bestow this to …” Excel went blabbering on. Il-Palazzo flipped through the manga, his expression changed from utter happiness(or at least the amount of expression he can give in front of his employee), to a plain face.
“And I hope this makes you understand our love for you……uh, yes Lord Il-Palazzo?” asked Excel in the middle of her tangent.
“This manga isn’t signed.”
“Oh, uh, well, you see, we just weren’t able to.” Excel shrugged.
“Hyatt, would you like to explain better before I drown Excel.”
“Oh I'm sorry Lord Il-Palazzo, but I can't, I blacked out so I am unable to remember how we got the manga without the mangaka’s signature.”
Lord Il-Palazzo thought for a moment and then sneezed. He looked at excel who was blabbering about how she was unable to get the signature, but kept changing her story. He then pulled the rope which opened the ground doors to the sharks.
“I truly am naive enough to think you can complete a mission successfully.”
