A bunch of shit Anonymous users have sent me on my main blog.
“Hot food, or dead food? Yes, the choice is mutually exclusive.”
“I really wanna fuck a doll tho.”
“[NAME] you’d fuck an actual doll wouldn’t you? huh? dollfucker?”
“I’d let the lorax speak for my trees.”
“Hm. I had a thought. Yknow who’s a himbo?”
“I broke my tooth eating steak and shake fries.”
“oh fuck you have been gnomed.”
“As a child I had a crush on big bird, kinda makes sense that I turned out to be a furry.”
“I hope people label you as a God.”
“I slowly chased a stray cat for two blocks just to pet him and got a scratch. am I valid?”
“The first time I heard about rhinoplasty was wild imagine paying money to look like a whole rhinoceros.”
“I think you would make a really good god.”
“excuse me while I go fucking feral.”
“is it racist to assume italians can’t be vampires?”
“No earthly force can separate [NAME] from their meat.”
“Whipping my dick out won’t help me against the duolingo owl.”
“so…would like the cream?”
“I ate a whole bag of frozen peas today.”
“Have you ever eaten paper? Because that stuffs good. Recycled paper is nasty though.”
“Like come on what are these four masked fuckwits with mixtapes gonna do? Stab?”
“I’ve already disappointed you once [NAME], I’m going for the world record at this point.”
“Cruise for MILFs with me at Walmart babe.”
“How fat must we pray for your ass to be [NAME]. Let me know so I can stop before you get so dummy thicc, your cheek clap alerts the killers in your house.”
“I heard the guy that painted the mono lisa is taking commissions again.”
“Karkalicious definition makes Terezi loco.”
“Are you gay or italian I’m confused which is it?”
“sorry, the anthrax will take 4-6 business days to get to you hope u don’t mind.”
“great news [NAME]! I’ve decided to become an oil baron!”
“I cast Big Gay on you. Bzz bzzz bzz bzzzzzz!”
“When I was a little kid, I used to play with my mom’s hair. I liked how it was soft, and it had a nice texture. One day, I figured I’d try tasting it. To this day, I feel the ring of disappointment in my soul that hair doesn’t taste good.”
“the only right way to eat ice cream cake is very carefully with a bowie knife.”
“the clown religion is called honkism.”
“I’m not a clown but maybe I’d consider converting. Do you have clown religion resources?”
“You ever just eat an orange, peel and all, and feel like a God?”
“bozo is a clownphobic slur.”
“I ran into a group of juggalos at the mall, they were in Claire’s.”
“ok listen this may be the sleep deprivation or possibly the anxiety of starting a new semester in like forty five minutes talking but 5 am? great time to be awake. my third eye is WIDE fucking open. sleep? government conspiracy to keep us unwoke. think about it.”