to love is to know

Em, 23, she/her | sideblog! | a bisexual Christian's journey through the Bible, through managing faith and identity, and towards accepting God's unconditional mercy

[gloria-solius-dei]

an introduction

hi! welcome! nice to see you!

it's been a year soon since i delved back into my Christian faith i have been duly ignoring for years head first, and with a greater enthusiasm than ever, and... dang, it's scary out there!

i grew up as the daughter of a non-religious family, still somehow attending a Christian school for 13 years. my display name, Em, is not my real name, but it's what i'd like to use here.

i was 13 when i realised i was bisexual – the only label out of the handful i had tried that stands true even 10 years later. i was around 18 when i first declared myself Christian by choice. those things never conflicted in my head; i was, after all, still faithful to God, just because my picture of love was broader than Leviticus', did not mean i was unworthy of God's love. and besides, i was not practising outside of school. faith, to me, was something private, a communion between me and God i did not want to share with the world.

i am 23 now. i am still here. i am still queer, and it is a part of me i will always defend. the only thing that changed is that i go to church now, every single sunday, i've learned every last custom. two of our pastors i adore, the other one i tolerate. most of my fellow parishioners are strangers, but i'm less and less afraid to let them get to know me. i wear the ichthys in my neck and use three separate Bibles for separate functions, along with a daily prayer journal. i make an effort to pray every day and i learn to recognise God's answers to my questions. because my faith is free to belong to me. who i love does not change the fact that i love and i am loved, divinely, in return.

i am familiar with the Scripture, i had 13 years of rigorous religious education to cover the important bits, although i am getting a little rusty. so that's what i started this blog for. i want to read it all over again, from cover to cover, and have a place to document what i'm learning. aside from other faith-related stuff, like what i thought about sermon that sunday or how i'm handling my identity as a queer Christian, or... yeah. anything. we'll see.

so... stick around, enjoy the ride. and i hope i can serve both God and some entertainment here. or even just a statement that people like me are here. and we won't go anywhere.

God bless you and keep you. ♡

~ Em

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[kittykittyredcat]

[sacredheart-stigmata]

today, on the feast of the transfiguration, i am reminded of our transgender siblings in Christ. i am reminded of Jesus exposing his divinity, showing himself as he truly is, just as trans christians expose the glory and beauty of their gender through transition. i am reminded how transformation-- transfiguration-- is a holy act, practiced both by trans christians and Christ alike. i am reminded that they are God's children, beloved just like Jesus, His son, and I am awed

[kittyrosecatqueen]

Preach, preach! This is the kind of thing we should be preaching about.

[doodles-with-dino]

So telling God that He made you wrong and leaning on your own understanding and feelings is just fine now? Last I checked, the Bible preached the opposite of this.

You are the gender He made you. Pretending to be anything else is just lying to yourself and leaning on your own confusion rather than God's infinite wisdom.

There's nothing Godly about transgenderism and there's no such thing as a transgender Christian because if someone is transgender, they're leaning on their own understanding rather than surrendering themselves to Christ.

And no, Christ wasn't nonbinary or transgender. He is ALWAYS referred to as "he/him/his." Same with God, who is referred to as He/Him/His as well as Father.

[doodles-with-dino]

[narfy-reblogs]

i feel like the trans movement puts such a focus on loving yourself but the meantime I feel like they drown out who you really are the way the Creator made you

And I know its difficult to accept He made ypu the sex you were meant to be

But He did and He has a plan to do

I wish Christian s would have the approach like Charlie Kirk and Ray Comfort they don't slam the bible over the head but they don't throw it in the trash either

They have Truth and Grace

[sacredheart-stigmata]

I promised myself that I would no longer reply to bigoted Christians on this post, but since you so readily said Kirk had ‘truth and grace’, I will be adding on some of my favorite (heavy sarcasm) comments Kirk made about people of color. It is incredibly easy to go on YouTube and find the full videos from where these quotes are taken, in case you’re worried about being taken ‘out of context’.

"I have a very, very radical view on this, but I can defend it, and I've thought about it. We made a huge mistake when we passed the Civil Rights Act in the 1960s."

“Happening all the time in urban America, prowling Blacks go around for fun to go target white people, that’s a fact. It’s happening more and more”

“The great replacement strategy, which is well under way every single day in our southern border, is a strategy to replace white rural America with something different.”

“America was at its peak when we halted immigration for 40 years and we dropped our foreign-born percentage to its lowest level ever. We should be unafraid to do that.”

Regardless of how someone feels about God’s embrace of transnsss, I’d hope we can all agree Kirk’s racism is far, far from what Christ expects of us, and he should not be who you are using to prop up your opinion. I’ll just copy/paste from a previous reply to finish up:

‘While I hope Charlie found redemption upon his death, I will not pretend his treatment of other human beings was at all Christian, and all of the sentiments behind these statements contradict the core message and values of Jesus’ teaching’

[gloria-solius-dei]

an open church and an organ concert in the evening of a busy city, a man at the door.

my friend is dressed for the weather, shoulders, knees and toes out.

"but the greater problem are those pride colours."

i remember the rainbow on the straps of my backpack, on the cloth bracelet around my wrist.

we turn away immediately.

how fortunate it is that this is not the man that stands at the heavenly gates, at the end.

[gloria-solius-dei]

something romantic about the fact the change i got back from the equally wasted bartenders on the night i am convinced only the Holy Spirit got me home safe in the state i was in, will end up in the donation box of my church after laying the sins i was committing against myself and the love and care God made me with on the Communion table.

i was afraid. he knows that. i punished myself for no reason. so he made sure i knew i was loved anyway.

[gloria-solius-dei]

the Holy Spirit is a rare pure white pigeon among the grey flurry of birds as i walk home. the sun is shining bright, and i have lunch waiting at home, and, after a difficult night, i am drawn back to rest from the city. one look at the white pigeon and i hope i am being watched.

the Holy Spirit is a sleek black cat with a deep gaze, sniffing its dark little nose in the grass by the Crucifix of the local parish church near my house. it is dark and i am exhausted, and telling my friend about my Beloved over text, about how dearly i wish to just collapse into his arms. i walk around the block in the dark, and the black cat emerges from among the parking cars. we share a gaze before and after it crosses me. this time i know for sure i am being watched.

the Holy Spirit is today's reading from Isaiah. "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you." it is the pastor as he speaks about the healing power of an embrace and me as i stare at the ornate ceiling before burying my head in my hands. it is the sentence: "Let us give grace for the person, the object, through which God shows us His comfort." and i did. i always will. if for nothing, then for the sole reason God keeps proclaiming him to me.

the Holy Spirit is a pigeon in the sun. the Holy Spirit is a cat among the cars. the Holy Spirit is smiling off the ornate ceiling of my parish.

the Holy Spirit is His idea of love.

[gloria-solius-dei]

also i just wanna say that last night i was wandering around and thinking about the Beloved again, and lo and behold, the Holy-Spirit-Kitty of this post just ran by me again

God is endorsing my delusions and vindication has never felt sweeter.

[gloria-solius-dei]

you will never guess which specific black cat with tiny white markings is a regular guest in my parents' garden now.

Holy Spirit, i command myself in your tiny paws. and you your protection into my hand you bump your head against for a pet.

[gloria-solius-dei]

"Abba, Father."

For me, and for you, whose most common prayer is: "Lord, make me fit for servitude, bless me so I may carry my service with patience as you have commanded me."

There is only so long you can serve. Only so much, that your back can carry. For me, for you, for the ones who are faithful and committed, the Lord promises:

"Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir."

The Lord crafts the journey especially for you. He pinpoints the summit where the air is the freshest and the view is the clearest. He makes sure you reach it – it is where he picks you up, at the end. There is no shame in a higher place to climb. In a hand calloused from the journey, a foot that has slipped one too many times.

There is responsibility in the beautiful view, in seeing what others may not: when it falls upon you to command them, you must do so with grace and a gentle hand, as your Father commands you, as you yourself were commanded in your servitude. The champion of God, the heir of the Lord, must follow the example of the one true Son, and swallow the bitter contents of the cup, surrender their soul on the cross crafted to their personal measurements. Every day, if they must. If we must.

Abba, Father.

[gloria-solius-dei]

Pastor A, focused and formal: "First, we kindly ask the faithful sitting on the right side of the church to come forth to receive the Sacraments-"

Freshly confirmed children: *get up to go*

Pastor A: *biggest grin* "-just a little more patience, please..."

"For of such is the Kingdom of God."

i love kids at the altar table. it's always adorable. and it's such a beautiful reminder that in the eyes of the Lord we are all small and worth protecting, loving, nurturing, just like our young. we could all take a lesson from them in eagerness to approach Him.

[gloria-solius-dei]

ladies i bought a german language bible from today: "oh this bible has such beautiful colours on the cover!"

my queer ass: "oh yes indeed 🤭"

[gloria-solius-dei]

the intimacy of knowing exactly when God is going to be deaf to your prayer

the intimacy of knowing it is for your own good

[patron-saint-of-lesbeans]

Religious people with good theological takes please stop deleting your blogs. I miss you. 💔

[patron-saint-of-lesbeans]

Religious people with good theological takes please stop deleting your blogs. I miss you. 💔

[eyes-on-jesus]

Jesus is good and you do have time.

[gloria-solius-dei]

sometimes i question what i am doing around you still. waiting for you still.

then i remember crying in Saint Peter's in Rome, asking God what to do about you, with you nearby walking the same consecrated ground. i remember the verse you sent my way right after: "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."

i remember the statue of the Son that looked so much like you my heart twisted at the sight. as i am, so are you the labor of his love, the image of his gentle heart and kind face. you don't see His Spirit in you. i would curl at both your feet and whisper every sin i have ever committed if you allowed me.

i lay you in the Father's hands. i entrust your heart to His palm to shape as he sees fit. and every time i pray at greater length, i paw at the gap beneath His door and ask that you may be entrusted to me in turn.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

[holytranny]

By all means not an expert, but progressive Christian’s saying they won’t get “political” when discussing Christianity or on their religious blog is a little strange and misguided. Homie the Bible IS POLITICAL and radically at that. Feeding the hungry, sheltering the poor, anti-violence, and anti-war is political. Taking care of our planet, Uplifting your community, and loving your neighbor is political. Politics isn’t just discourse on policy, politics stretches and defines every part of our life. By finding the good in humanity you participate in politics, and that’s a good thing I promise.

[transfem-in-christ]

evangelical protestants will tell you statues of Mary or the Saints are idolatry and then do shit like this

[clovers-practice]

Forever thinking about how Mary conceived via the holy spirit, which is a historically feminine entity. Lots of untapped potential for Something here. Not sure what yet