Last night he told me when Richard and him were standing together talking and looking at me when I was reading my book the other night Richard had mentioned how I made him nervous. I don’t know what that means, that this arrogant, flirtatious, bastard of a man is nervous around me. Half of me believes he’s nervous because of my aggressive sexuality and the palpability of desire.The other half of me kind of thinks he’s nervous because he realises how charming he finds me and he knows he’ll eventually cave.
Anyways, immediately after that conversation I looked up from my book at the two of them, and of course, he’s looking at me, a devilish grin like he always does, and he pushes me further into the booth and wraps his arm around, in front of his friend. He has touched me, many times, but it is often when no one is around or when there is so much going on no one is paying any attention. It seemed so brazen. And why do that if I make him nervous? I had been ignoring him all night, because I felt bratty and was agitated with him talking about me to others without acting on it. I felt like I looked like a desperate fool, so I resolved I’d just ignore him unless he came to me. I know he saw me as soon as he came in the bar, I heard him talking loudly to the table next to me, which he didn’t even know, and I refused to look, he moved over to the bar in front of me and I refused to look. I had to squeeze by him to go for my cigarette and though our bodies were touching so closely I said nothing and just squeezed past. I left him in dust. And then, me finally acknowledging him, and that stupid bloody devilish grin. Would I be dumb to say maybe he kind of actually does fancy possessing me?
