I Post What I want

[glutenfreemuffinman]

Shit like this... This is why I need people to stop calling me a pussy when my girlfriend hits me...

[central]

[glutenfreemuffinman]

#Wait_A_Fucking_Second_How_Did_They_Take_This_Picture_Then

[prrb]

lets play a game called “where the fuck is the next button in this theme”

[devildoll]

that’s my second favorite game after “no, wait, THIS is the tiniest font i’ve ever seen”

[ileliberte]

And right up there with those two is the “am I going blind or is this dark purple type on a black background?” game.

[stormybabe]

Brought to you by the creators of “where is the pause button for the autoplay music”

[jaybara-blog]

Featuring “how the hell do I Reblog this”

[glutenfreemuffinman]

Screenplay by "glittery cat gifs which make focusing on anything extremely difficult."

[stunningpicture]

[i-dreaminwords]

That is the opening of a portal to another dimension and you cannot tell me otherwise

[ghostpotion]

really cos um. im pretty sure thats a lightning guy riding a lightning horse???

[glutenfreemuffinman]

10/10 hope that I get sucked into this portal and end being being some civilization's god.

[jesperfahey]

[biasheck]

#i love how lovely and proper she looks out in that dress #and then bam there’s a gun #what a gloriously lovely badass

[glutenfreemuffinman]

Too bad she's dead

[dogsupporter3000]

BOYS TO AVOID: -boys that are against feminism -boys that call girls sluts and whores -boys that think a vagina gets loose after having a lot of sex -white boys that use the n word -bronies

[davidthadeer-deactivated2014112]

GIRLS TO AVOID:

-girls that use feminism as an excuse to hate men

-girls that think that they shouldn’t be judged for fucking excessive amounts of people

[phoneticmeow]

BOYS TO AVOID:

-tumblr user davidthedeer

[glutenfreemuffinman]

People to avoid:

- Assholes

- People who mistake feminism for misogyny

- People that have a lot of relationships in a short amount of time.

- People that break kit kat bars horizontally instead of vertically..

[pinataparty23-deactivated201404]

tumblr came out 79 years ago. just let that sink in

[glutenfreemuffinman]

This post is slightly ahead of it's time.

[jazzchat-deactivated20140622]

[kroglor-deactivated20141226]

fantastic script

[glutenfreemuffinman]

I thought it was never going to end.

[sassahi]

au where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate

[sassahi]

ADDITIONALLY: when your soulmate dies, the world goes back to black and white

[oooarchive]

THAT’S HORRIBLE i love it

[hopefulartandwriting]

No but can you imagine having a normal day at work or running errands but then everything suddenly goes black and white.

[elizabethismms]

LEAVE MY LIFE

[goshdarnit-daniel-blog]

But at the same time, imagine bumping into someone and your whole life lights up

[glutenfreemuffinman]

Life would be so much easier if when you met your soul mate you went from seeing black and white to full colour

[reyjedimaster]

[glutenfreemuffinman]

AND SINCE EVERYONE IS EQUAL. WE GET TO SEE ALL THE WOMEN DIE NEXT SEASON

[sizvideos]

Marines singing Let it go - Video

[vuelie]

OMG

[hogwarts-is-frozen]

SCREAMING

[as-seen-on-disney]

I JUST LAUGHED SO HARD THAT I SNORTED AND CHOKED

[xkurtwagner]

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I CANT EVEN

[an-ime-goil]

LOL, WHEN SHE FLIPS DOWN HER HAIR AND THEY FREAK OUT AND HURRAH HER LOL

[glutenfreemuffinman]

I'm very glad that I put up that plastic screen protector over my monitor, because I just spat coke all over the screen when they hit those high notes....

[llbwwb]

[glutenfreemuffinman]

That hue and saturation filter tho

[hikaribakuras-deactivated201304]

OK SO IN ENGLAND THIS IS WHAT A RUBBER IS

AND SOMEONE ON MY DASH JUST MENTIONED PUTTING A ‘RUBBER’ ON YOUR PENIS AND

I GOT REALLY REALLY CONFUSED

[tea-in-the-tardis]

THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A RUBBER IN AUSTRALIA TOO. WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.

[nerdmodeactivated]

SAME WITH NEW ZEALAND.

[thecityofpawnee]

We don’t have those in America because we don’t make mistakes.

[makesallthetablesturn-blog]

[butchflirt]

THAT WAS ONE TIME

[thespacegoat-deactivated2016100]

HE WAS ELECTED TWICE.

[glutenfreemuffinman]

Spoiler alert, the whole of america is a mistake at the moment, there have been several "net neutrality" bills that have been brought to light by comcast / verizon / other media outlets that would have essentially given them the power to monitor every. last. thing. that you do on the internet, and give priority bandwidth to the highest bidder, giving the rest of the nation less than sub par internet access. Even the smaller businesses, like web based start-ups would have absolutely zero chance of making it anywhere because of the high-paying businesses getting all the bandwidth. TL;DR THE GOVERNMENT IS PLANNING TO LIMIT YOUR INTERNET AND SLOW DOWN YOUR FANDOM GIFS

[exuberant-imperfection]

Visit Original Link

[boysmoans]

i feel it in my bones, i’m on F I R E

FUCK

[rawritsmeep]

NO

[sakibatch-deactivated20180708]

OHMYGOD

[fireandblo0d]

hit the reblog so fast i think i broke my mouse

[tbiiiiiiiiirdx]

holY F U cKKKKkKKKkkkkkKKKKK 

[hurraaid]

hoLY MOTHER OF JESUSSSSSSSSSSS

THIS IS LIKE THE HOLY GRAIL OF MASH UP BONERS

[lil-dopamine]

I don’t think  can live with out this.

[glutenfreemuffinman]

I NEED THA SAUCE

[glutenfreemuffinman]

[condom-deactivated20190119]

today at work someone tipped me a potato

[squidwurd]

in some countries that is a marriage proposal

[lele-exe-has-stoppedworking]

Even the potato looks confused

[glutenfreemuffinman]

Id like to know which countries support potatoes as a marriage proposal.

[glutenfreemuffinman]

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?

Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

Dad: Fuck the government.

Dad: Fuck the school board.

Dad: Close the door.

Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

Dad: I love puns.

Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

Dad: Please shut up.

Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

Dad: They act like I care what they think.

Dad: I hate homework.

Dad: I have decided to become a politician.

Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.