G.M. Nair & Sons Reputable Readables

I fleed here from Twitter

[gmnair]

ME: So this is a door-to-door transit service?

THEM: Straight bussin'.

ME: Cool. And if I sign up, could I get one of those fun branded hats you guys wear?

THEM: No cap.

ME: Fair enough. Fr fr.

[gmnair]

Working out my thoughts for the possible DUCKETT & DYER visual novel...

You're a new student in a Japanese High School, and at lunch, you get to sit at the popular girls' table since they think you're cute and one of them is absent today.

They may all look like normal Japanese Schoolgirls dressed in uniforms with color-coded accent pieces, but they're secretly (even to you) super sentai heroes who control giant interlocking robots and protect the Earth from galactic threats.

After an enjoyable lunch getting to know them, you leave and are accosted by two outcast losers who demand to know "Why you're doing all the murders".

You say you have no idea what they're talking about and you just got here, they say they're the high school Detective Club (one seems more into it than the other) and are investigating the recent murders of students at this school, narrowing it down to the group of popular girls. They know they're all hiding something.

But they don't know which one might be the killer. Since you now have an in with the girls, you are now their informant, and have to get to know each of the girls and report back if any one of them has anything suspicious about them. You reluctantly agree.

The next afternoon, you sit back down with the girls for lunch, but their absent friend is back. They explain she's been sick all week and are happy that she's feeling better.

The missing girl dresses like the other girls, but her skin is cold and slick, and grey. Her hair is off-kilter like some sort of wig, and she speaks IN ALL CAPS. She says her name is 'SUSIE JOHNSON...SEN...BERG'.

She seems nice.

But you're faced with a dilemma. If what the two loser teen detectives said is true, literally any of these girls could be the serial murderer. And you're attracted to literally all of them. What will you do? DUCKETT/DYER DETECTIVE CLUB - Coming Maybe Never.

[gmnair]

ME: What about instead of a time machine, a space machine? Like, it can't move through time, but it can move through SPACE. ALSO ME: What you just described is ANY VEHICLE.

[gmnair]

NO LONGER on the 'To Do' list:

Editing the 99c Amazon copy of THE STRANGE LITTLE LIFE OF ADRIAN PANCAKE by adding an extra page at the end that says:

"If you subscribed to my newsletter, you could've gotten this ebook for free. YOU'RE SO STUPID."

I did it. It's done.

The Strange Little Life of Adrian Pancake: A Duckett & Dyer: Dicks For Hire Case - Kindle edition by Nair, G.M.. Download it once and read i

Or, y'know, sign up for the newsletter: https://gmnair.substack.com/p/coming-soon

[gmnair]

Potential titles for a Spy-focused DUCKETT & DYER spin-off:

BULLETS OF STEEL BULLETS OF STEEL: THE VENGEANCE FACTOR BULLETS OF STEEL: THE REVENGE INITIATIVE BULLETS OF STEEL: THE RETRIBUTION PRINCIPLE BULLETS OF STEEL: THE PAYBACK AGENDA BULLETS OF STEEL: THE RIPOSTE GAMBIT BULLETS OF STEEL: THE REPRISAL DIRECTIVE BULLETS OF STEEL: THE RECRIMINATION JUDGEMENT BULLETS OF STEEL: THE REPAYMENT OPERATION BULLETS OF STEEL: THE RETALIATION OFFENSIVE

[gmnair]

Elon, when the tweets fell.

tumblr, its arms wide.

[laguettler]

Twas the Night Before St. Cripps...

Pre-order NOW and get this fresh-baked Red Darkling short jam dropped in your lap just when you'll need it most. Exclusively on Kindle!

'Twas the Night Before St. Cripps: A Red Darkling Short Jam for the Holidays - Kindle edition by Guettler, L. A.. Download it once and read

[laguettler]

Spend some time with a story in rhyme.

[quenbyolson]

Twitter is dying and mastodon scares me so you should buy my cozy fantasy book, Miss Percy's Pocket Guide to the Care and Feeding of British Dragons, about a 40yo spinster who loves cake. Also there is found family and a local vicar with whom our MC may or may not fall in love.

[gmnair]

I'm not proud of much, but I am absolutely ecstatic that I got to title a book 'THE MYSTERY OF THE MURDERED GUY'

[gmnair]

Personal Goals

A dream of mine is to get to do a best man speech where I start reading from a printout. Then I stop, rip it up, and say, "No, this is all wrong. What I have to say should come from in HERE," tapping my heart. Then I pull out a new page from my breast pocket-

[gmnair]

For Sale: Baby Shoes. Worn the fuck out!

Seriously, they're fucked to shit. Nobody's gonna buy 'em.

[gmnair]

If you have to tell people you're an Alpha Male, you're not really an Alpha Male.

Take it from me, I'm an Alpha Male.

[gmnair]

Over on Twitter, these DUCKETT & DYER book arrow charts have become old hat. But now I have a whole NEW audience to spam!

[gmnair]

WE DID IT!

5 posts!

[gmnair]

The Inconsistencies in Plot, Character Development, and Basic Rules of Grammar in My Thirteen-Part Fantasy Series Can Be Explained by a Phen

I want to take this time to thank my fanbase for their devotion to reading all twelve volumes of my fantasy series, The Winds of Westerwhere

Why does 1600s-era Versailles, as depicted in a short story in THE MYSTERY OF THE MURDERED GUY have a city outside it when it was actually surrounded by forests and fields at that time?

Different universe. IDIOTS.

[gmnair]

Vote early

vote often

[gmnair]

Man, if I have to tag all my jokes and quips with #humor or #comedy, I'm gonna feel like a real fucking hack.

I mean, I am a hack, but I don't wanna feel like one.