If u hear someone say something bad about a friend of yours, is being a good friend telling them about it or keeping it to yourself? I feel like ive frequently had the former experience with the friend’s motivation being to make a point about that person’s character, but most often the information was not useful in terms of how id choose to interact with the third person and instead just hurt my feelings that someone would say that about me, and i wish i hadnt known. My mom always said that a good friend wouldnt deliver you unusable information that only serves to hurt you, but i think often delivering the info feels like loyalty to people.
Recently my friend had a falling out w her friend, and i was already on her side n disliked the girl from the way my friend talked about her, but then she also told me that she’d told the friend about a situation i was going through and that she’d said i was a “bad person” for how i handled it. My friend said that shed defended me, which was nice, but i ended up just feeling bad about this strangers judgement of me. I didnt even care that she told her, it has no bearing on my life, i’d just rather not have known about the personally hurtful part.
