shut up the sea behind doors

Good Omens sideblog

[crowleys-bentley-and-plants]

"Smited? Smote?" My dude you know all the languages

[marauderswolf22]

i think he wanted him to say it so bad

[mommyashtoreth]

The thing abt Crowley that I think is missing from a lot of fan content is people like. how do I word this. people like him so much that they're not willing to make him do things they find unlikable. Crowley's demonhood is usually represented in fan stuff by him like, doing bad things to bad people, people who "had it coming" one way or another, which I think works in serious contexts but is just no fun if you're trying to match the tone of the source! Crowley comes up with and does things that are objectively annoying and unpleasant and that's Fine. It's hilarious. We all need to make peace with the fact that Crowley would play Instagram reels loud as hell on the train, she'd be in front of you on line at the drug store paying with exact change, she'd show up to your baby shower with one of those toys that make a bunch of noise, she invented the leafblower. Etc. These jokes write themselves they're so easy and they're always funny and I want to see more of that sort of energy

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I will always maintain that Crowley invented car-based infrastructure and especially the term “jaywalking”*, or is at least heavily in favor of the humans who did. Probably gets into lots of silly internet fights with urbanist channels, which are constantly in Crowley’s recommendation algorithm because Aziraphale likes trains.

*aka the word early auto companies used to blame walkers for getting hit by their increasingly fast and dangerous cars. The term was originally jay drivers — you know, the ones actually causing the danger — and got switched to refer to pedestrians later. Streets used to allow all travelers equally, they had to be changed into something that forbade walkers and only allowed cars.

[bluhtack]

"Well, you've still got one of them"

[goodoldfashionednightingale]

Posting a good omens bracelet every day until s3 starts filming or I run out of ideas, day 149: Witchfinder Maj. Milk Bottle

[goodoldfashionednightingale]

Hey, so, I had a thought…..

What if Aziraphale doing temptations is actually something we have already seen?

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

He’s also not the only person lying to angels when Job’s children are brought back. What is “this is your new son” but a (justified) temptation?

[jennchecks]

"In the background Crowley and Aziraphale met on the tops of buses, and in art galleries, and at concerts, compared notes, and smiled."

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, published May 10, 1990

[crowlixcx]

Anthony 'that wasn't me that was my twin' Crowley

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

While it is extremely funny that Shadwell is scamming both of them, I think we’re really sleeping on the comedy potential of a different scenario: Aziraphale knows they’re both paying the same loser, but Crowley — bless his heart — never figures it out.

Imagine Aziraphale trying to covertly slip him antichrist details via their Totally Separate, Legally Distinct, Incredibly-Easy-To-Bribe-For-Enemy-Information Human Operative(s), meanwhile Crowley’s all ????? *confused snek noises*

Eventually the “how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?” conversation happens, and Aziraphale is seconds away from exploding him with his mind.

[yowlthinks]

Omg, this needs a ff!!

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

If anyone wants to write one, feel free!

I couldn’t think of a way to make it narratively interesting — in my head, the plot would be basically the same as in canon. The only differences would be:

Throughout the Arrangement, Aziraphale has understood “human operatives” to be code for “we need to lay low for a bit, let’s continue coordinating through this human proxy.”

Through a series of hijinks (Crowley sensing him, getting info from other demons, etc.), this strategy always “””works””” even though Crowley is blissfully unaware of it and is ACTUALLY getting scammed.

Fast forward to armageddon. Agnes has written enough prophecies about Newt for Aziraphale to figure out he exists + his role.

Most of his actions after reading the book are big, flashy misdirections to keep everyone focused on the antichrist. After all, Adam does help stop armageddon, but Newt HAS to be there.

Via Shadwell, Crowley gets the antichrist’s name, address, and shoe size so he’ll know Aziraphale is winking at him when he says he won’t tell him anything. Or… well… that was the plan.

“How can someone as clever as you be so stupid?” (Aziraphale, internally: lord give me strength)

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

While it is extremely funny that Shadwell is scamming both of them, I think we’re really sleeping on the comedy potential of a different scenario: Aziraphale knows they’re both paying the same loser, but Crowley — bless his heart — never figures it out.

Imagine Aziraphale trying to covertly slip him antichrist details via their Totally Separate, Legally Distinct, Incredibly-Easy-To-Bribe-For-Enemy-Information Human Operative(s), meanwhile Crowley’s all ????? *confused snek noises*

Eventually the “how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?” conversation happens, and Aziraphale is seconds away from exploding him with his mind.

[orbiten]

Well, that went down like a lead balloon.

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I just know Aziraphale and Crowley will end up retired the way Pestilence is retired. Going on and on about how relaxed they are and how happy they are not to be working, meanwhile you glance at their calendar out of the corner of your eye and take immediate psychic damage.

(every retiree I’ve ever met is like this)

[tossyouforedinburgh]

"Crowley, the spare room is full of car radios. is there... a particular reason for this?" Aziraphale frowned.

"oh. oh, yeah. I'm... looking after them. for a friend. they're not stolen," Crowley said quickly, in the manner of someone without a guilty conscience. "and I have to go out this afternoon. I've got... er... a mobile phone contract to... sort out."

"you don't have any friends," the angel said, without malice. a simple fact. "the shovels? the spray paint? the mysterious computer that has instructions on how to hack the stock market on it, those belong to uh, your friend, as well?"

"oh, yeah. they're for the coffee shop. they belong to... the coffee one. Mina? great friend of mine. what do you need the space in the spare room for, anyway?"

Aziraphale shuffled from foot to foot, thinking as quickly as he could. "well certainly not for any good deeds, obviously. a neutral act of... getting some books to children who need them. a completely reasonable act of retirement. and if you need some coins for any neutral deeds there's a jar of them behind the woolly hats I'm not going to hand out to cold people in the winter."

[fear-of-the-familiar-and-known]

Their miracle was so big because Crowley and Aziraphale are the only demon and angel who eat and drink on a semi-regular basis

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I just know Aziraphale and Crowley will end up retired the way Pestilence is retired. Going on and on about how relaxed they are and how happy they are not to be working, meanwhile you glance at their calendar out of the corner of your eye and take immediate psychic damage.

(every retiree I’ve ever met is like this)

[noctopus-art]

Aziraphale loves the train… 🥺🚂

Drawing I did a few days ago ! I wanted to draw a rough background but with a cute ambiance, I hope you like it ✨ they’re on holiday… maybe going to Edinburgh ?

Also, not that I don’t wanna answer all your nice comments but I still don’t know how to proceed haha. But thank you all, I’m so happy to join you here, y’all are so nice and I’m happy to read that you like my silly art 🤧🫶

[marika-misc-deactivated20250922]

Something a little different today for @kojtolina DTIYS ! Because I love drawing clouds (and cats) ! And I wanted to try my hand again at painting digitally.

I absolutely LOVE @kojtolina’s style and you should absolutely check In love’s secret domain ; it isn’t like anything I have seen before.

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

Does Crowley know the magic shopkeeper is about to die?

Obviously not the cause of death (unless Furfur/the zombies are very incompetent… which, actually, fair).

But maybe the general timeline? Because, ok, when Hastur and Ligur are handing off the antichrist, they recount the deeds of the day. At the end, they both throw in “within a year, we will have him.” That means they know when people will die? Unless “have him” just means their soul is damned, exact time of arrival uncertain.

Either way, the absolute pageantry of Crowley saying “is A life worth more than 27 pounds and 5 shillings?” in response to the shopkeeper talking about Aziraphale’s life. The theater! The snake-tonguedness! The £20 note sliding across the counter like an unsigned infernal contract!

Because Crowley isn’t paying for Aziraphale’s life. And there’s only one soul the shopkeeper can sell.

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

I also love how unbelievably petty this is. Normally Crowley’s all about the diffuse temptations. And if he’s individually tempting people, he’s getting them to do things that aren’t necessarily bad (Eve, Job, Elspeth, Maggie and Nina).

But the second this shopkeeper even considers taking advantage of (what he perceives to be) a bumbling beginner magician? Who, if he were a human, would definitely die? And the shopkeeper knows this, because one of his previous customers has already died?

Immediately Crowley’s like “no, fuck you in particular, go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect £27 5s,” as his lazy ass goes full Mephistopheles on this guy.

And to top it all off, the complete — if deserved — disrespect of buying his soul for only twenty-seven pounds five shillings. Aziraphale paid ninety guineas for Elspeth’s!

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

Does Crowley know the magic shopkeeper is about to die?

Obviously not the cause of death (unless Furfur/the zombies are very incompetent… which, actually, fair).

But maybe the general timeline? Because, ok, when Hastur and Ligur are handing off the antichrist, they recount the deeds of the day. At the end, they both throw in “within a year, we will have him.” That means they know when people will die? Unless “have him” just means their soul is damned, exact time of arrival uncertain.

Either way, the absolute pageantry of Crowley saying “is A life worth more than 27 pounds and 5 shillings?” in response to the shopkeeper talking about Aziraphale’s life. The theater! The snake-tonguedness! The £20 note sliding across the counter like an unsigned infernal contract!

Because Crowley isn’t paying for Aziraphale’s life. And there’s only one soul the shopkeeper can sell.