Weird Shit

My occasional shit posts I guess

[godbroccoli11]

My guiltiest pleasure is the Stronger Than You Chara Version

[godbroccoli11]

Whenever I walk past my dogs, I’m obligated to point at them and exclaim, “You’re a dog!”

It’s important that they know

[godbroccoli11]

If I ever open my own business and have the money, I’d hire whoever the composers of the Persona OST’s are to make a few looping tracks just for the ambience

Those mf’ers be cookin

[godbroccoli11]

Whenever a social media platform has a website option, I always put “whythefuckwouldihaveawebsite.com”, and honestly, I’m tempted to make it a real site

[godbroccoli11]

I live with the curse known as “unable to draw anything but nude figures”

I just wanna draw sfw for once but clothes are so difficult 😭

[godbroccoli11]

People are always saying “This would kill a medieval peasant”, but what’s the scale?

What is the bare minimum amount of our modern wonders that it would take to kill one? How many Oreo cookies would it take for one to drop dead?

[godbroccoli11]

I hear the first few notes of DJ’s Got Us Falling in Love Again, I am filled with anticipation

I hear the lyrics are the actual song and not the Minecraft parody, I weep

[godbroccoli11]

Why does my hair look so damn good only when I’ve just gotten out of a shower and dried it aggressively with a towel.

Any other time I’ll be lucky if it’ll looks good-ish for 5 minutes before going back to looking somewhat okay

[godbroccoli11]

A wondrous jpeg appeared in mine mind as I slept and I must spread its gospel for the good of all of mankind

[godbroccoli11]

The only thing more powerful than old tumblr users are new tumblr users that have never touched other social media sites

[godbroccoli11]

Why do all my posts come to me like a bullet that’s been shot through my skull by a burglar at 4am?

[godbroccoli11]

The word “pusillanimous” sounds like the creation of someone who thought anonymous people were pussies, and so they stacked those exact two words as if they were two kids in a trench coat trying to get into a rated R movie that is the dictionary

[godbroccoli11]

I just realized that while there’s Ms. (Miss) & Mrs. (Missus) for women, one meaning married and the other meaning unmarried, there’s no equivalent for men

So may I propose Mr. (Mister) & Msr. (Misuster)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you know what, I’m not done posting about baby bats!!!

here is a fact for you: rescued baby bats are regularly given little blankets and swaddled up like itty bitty bat burritos! this is a whole Thing

Oh, and sometimes they get tiny pillows!

And they get fed out of teensy baby bottles!

They are even given mini bat pacifiers to nurse on 💕

in conclusion, here is a baby bat yawning:

BABY BATS!!!

[godbroccoli11]

Man, I just saw a post that said something about photography homework and I read it as “pornography homework”

I was like “Huh? You study porn?? Do they give you a still frame of some random porn video and make you give them the link to the PornHub video it’s from? Sounds fukcing wild dude”

…Man I need me some sleep

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*folds your gender up into a little paper airplane & tosses it off the empire state building*

[godbroccoli11]

It better be a good paper airplane; I don’t want one of those shitty paper airplanes that go a foot in the air no matter how good you throw it and then just nosedives into the ground at lightning fast speeds

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

hey :) wanna see a pic of a beluga whale smiling :)

[eridanromantic]

Yes but i will approach with caution

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no no don’t do that. come closer…hold your phone up to your face…..

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh my goodness it’s like none of you have any scientific curiosity…..no joy and wonder left for the beauteous mysteries of nature….your 9-year-old self who wanted to be a marine biologist would be so disappointed right now……..when did u stop seeking joy

[talshee]

Wanna see a thick ass Beluga?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

boy howdy do I ever!!!

[talshee]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

thank you! i super enjoyed that! allow me to return the favor <3

[godbroccoli11]

Why would someone hide this in the tags???