Damned-By-God

Maybe the heretics are right...

[godd-damned]

fun fact! "Marital Law" means security is authorized to use exceptional amounts of lethal force! If you do not comply after a warning and countdown i will shoot you! i am being nicer than i have to be!

[godd-damned]

ach mein gott two prisoners were breaking out of brig when ah went to check on zhem und one had a bat and the other a shiv.

ah barely survived after dumping my las pistol into them and then having to fight with my knife...

"Warden is not recommended to carry their energy shotgun" my ass...

[godd-damned]

They shipping me off to funky sector!

[operativebravo]

Noted.

[godd-damned]

do not.

[godd-damned]

They shipping me off to funky sector!

[inverted-spotless-canary]

Hallo janitor, may you please help us with the puddle of blood in the interrogation room?

and do not ask any questions.

-@godd-damned

I'm on my way, with several blunt instruments, which may or may not include a mop.

*Comm Buzzes* Hey, HOP, I'm calling in that favor.

@gods-strongest-hop (may or may not both because It Also Includes A Weapon and because I'M OUT OF FUCKING MOP HEADS)

[godd-damned]

good! please be wary of bullet casings!

and loose fingers...

[eric-caldera]

Sometimes, I wonder why your luck is so bad. And then I get reminded of it.

[godd-damned]

I begrudgingly did not participate in what caused mess! only authorized...

[inverted-spotless-canary]

Hallo janitor, may you please help us with the puddle of blood in the interrogation room?

and do not ask any questions.

-@godd-damned

I'm on my way, with several blunt instruments, which may or may not include a mop.

*Comm Buzzes* Hey, HOP, I'm calling in that favor.

@gods-strongest-hop (may or may not both because It Also Includes A Weapon and because I'M OUT OF FUCKING MOP HEADS)

[godd-damned]

good! please be wary of bullet casings!

and loose fingers...

[t-r-o-p-s]

@godd-damned

Pssst. I saw you asked Declan Edmunds about his faith a while back. Now, obviously, as a good Space Catholic priest, I encourage asking intellectually rigorous questions of the faith. It's an important part of intellectual honesty and spiritual growth. In light of this, you should ask Edmunds if he thinks God can forgive people who have not forgiven themselves and who have never sought forgiveness. You know, to help strengthen his faith.

And don't feel like you've got to mention me. This is just me doing an act of goodness as a priest. I have to help strengthen the faith of the believers, don't I?

[godd-damned]

and how do I know you have nein hintergedanke? you dont want mention in your own idea?

i never trust priest. never done me good.

[t-r-o-p-s]

Fair.

Fair.

If I tell you it will make him defensive about his faith in ways that will strengthen your lack of belief, is that enough?

I confess (pun intended) that I do not ask this of you as a member of the clergy... But as a man.

[godd-damned]

i do not lack belief, god is real and i know it hates me.

and why trust man more than clergyman? man never likes not man.

[t-r-o-p-s]

A true misotheist. Fascinating—that isn't the most common position.

If you don't trust neither clergy nor man, and you work in security... Well, then I can offer you no identity that you would trust, I fear. No matter. My request was made from a place of spite anyway; perhaps this is God's hand to keep me from acting in anger.

[godd-damned]

i trust whoever earns it, nein bias in the person; only ability

[t-r-o-p-s]

@godd-damned

Pssst. I saw you asked Declan Edmunds about his faith a while back. Now, obviously, as a good Space Catholic priest, I encourage asking intellectually rigorous questions of the faith. It's an important part of intellectual honesty and spiritual growth. In light of this, you should ask Edmunds if he thinks God can forgive people who have not forgiven themselves and who have never sought forgiveness. You know, to help strengthen his faith.

And don't feel like you've got to mention me. This is just me doing an act of goodness as a priest. I have to help strengthen the faith of the believers, don't I?

[godd-damned]

and how do I know you have nein hintergedanke? you dont want mention in your own idea?

i never trust priest. never done me good.

[t-r-o-p-s]

Fair.

Fair.

If I tell you it will make him defensive about his faith in ways that will strengthen your lack of belief, is that enough?

I confess (pun intended) that I do not ask this of you as a member of the clergy... But as a man.

[godd-damned]

i do not lack belief, god is real and i know it hates me.

and why trust man more than clergyman? man never likes not man.

[t-r-o-p-s]

@godd-damned

Pssst. I saw you asked Declan Edmunds about his faith a while back. Now, obviously, as a good Space Catholic priest, I encourage asking intellectually rigorous questions of the faith. It's an important part of intellectual honesty and spiritual growth. In light of this, you should ask Edmunds if he thinks God can forgive people who have not forgiven themselves and who have never sought forgiveness. You know, to help strengthen his faith.

And don't feel like you've got to mention me. This is just me doing an act of goodness as a priest. I have to help strengthen the faith of the believers, don't I?

[godd-damned]

and how do I know you have nein hintergedanke? you dont want mention in your own idea?

i never trust priest. never done me good.

[gods-strongest-hop]

Ooc: @godd-damned Does it make it better to know that there's an incredibly detailed timeline of written lore and drama between Declan and @eats-the-dirt ?

In all sincerely though I'm very glad you enjoy it. It is in fact just trashy and endearing sitcom shit.

[godd-damned]

ooc: yo i need to see

[godd-damned]

Stupid secoff called me "dumb fucking gecko".

he was not so inclined to do again after being stabbed.

[eric-caldera]

Based on your beret, you're... the Corpsman, right? Or just a Security Officer? Something like that. Isn't your job literally to prevent that from happening?

As any member of Security, you shouldn't be stabbing people for insulting you. In fact, stabbing should only be resorted to if your target is actively threatening people's lives or if non-lethally incapacitating them with your stun baton is not an option.

Even still, using your stun baton should be reserved for people who actively break the law. Spitting in your face and calling you a "dumb fucking gecko" is not against space law anywhere that I'm aware of.

By Nar'sie, and people wonder why the term "Shitsec" exists...

[gods-strongest-hop]

This situation would be an excellent use for the Formal Complaint Form. The Formal Complaint Form is 500% less likely to result in subsequent violence as opposed to "literal violence".

[godd-damned]

also makes 500% less fun...

[gods-strongest-hop]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you enjoyed permanent confinement so much!

[smiles corporately] Carry on!

[godd-damned]

I run confinement! I know ze tricks to make not permanent!

[eric-caldera]

You sure you wanna continue this? As I established previously, you've already confessed to crimes worth up to 45 minutes in the brig if we're being generous, and if we're not, in permanent confinement.

You're well aware that breach of custody is also capital, right? Code 406, look it up: "To escape the custody of law enforcement while serving a legal sentence, or awaiting trial for a capital offense."

I will be notifying the Warden of this. At this point, I'm not sure if you're trying to justify your actions or if you're trying to speedrun getting executed.

[godd-damned]

I am warden!

No charges ever pressed!

[eric-caldera]

Good lord, I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with your shit on whatever station you're on. Shall I take this up with the Head of Security, or the Captain? Because Seccies who think they can get away with everything just because they're Sec is how we get problems like tyranny, and also how revolutions and other similar uprisings start.

[godd-damned]

You unfamiliar with goob sector? stuff like this happens all ze time!

[eric-caldera]

I've... heard of the sector, but if this kind of thing happens all the time, I don't think I want to go there. Like, ever. I think Devin's been there once or twice. I'll ask him, one second.

He said it reminds him of the sector that's been oh so eloquently nicknamed "The Wizard's Den" because of how chaotic it is. He also said he hates it. I feel sorry for you.

[godd-damned]

Is why I started working in goob sector! my life is already chaotic hell so why not make work chaotic hell too!

[godd-damned]

Stupid secoff called me "dumb fucking gecko".

he was not so inclined to do again after being stabbed.

[eric-caldera]

Based on your beret, you're... the Corpsman, right? Or just a Security Officer? Something like that. Isn't your job literally to prevent that from happening?

As any member of Security, you shouldn't be stabbing people for insulting you. In fact, stabbing should only be resorted to if your target is actively threatening people's lives or if non-lethally incapacitating them with your stun baton is not an option.

Even still, using your stun baton should be reserved for people who actively break the law. Spitting in your face and calling you a "dumb fucking gecko" is not against space law anywhere that I'm aware of.

By Nar'sie, and people wonder why the term "Shitsec" exists...

[gods-strongest-hop]

This situation would be an excellent use for the Formal Complaint Form. The Formal Complaint Form is 500% less likely to result in subsequent violence as opposed to "literal violence".

[eats-the-dirt]

You know what's infinitely more effective than stabbing or formal complaints? Throwing them out the airlock without a hard suit. Murder is bad, but so is speciesism. This makes murder justifiable. Don't check my math, I'm a great mathematician.

[eric-caldera]

Tip: Don't do this! This is what we call "Prevention of Revival", which is a code 404 capital crime. Are you trying to get into perma too?

[eats-the-dirt]

Maybe I am maybe I'm not, what are you, a SecOff?

[eric-caldera]

No, I'm the Roboticist who has to deal with the aftermath of your shenanigans.

To make sure we're on the same page here: You're saying that, in response to a slur, it is justified to attempt to permanently kill the person who said it?

[eats-the-dirt]

You've clearly never had the experience of being an Unathi. Somebody once threw a lizard pet at me and said "Hey look, it's your grandpa!" I feel like there needs to start being repurcissions for things like this. Like, say... Death! Especially if they have clones.

[eric-caldera]

Okay, so tell them to stop, and if they don't, report them for harassment or something? Our language is vest and every word holds power, but if you think an insult (or, in this case, what I'm fairly certain was meant to be a joke) should be punishable by death, you've got your priorities backwards.

I'm of the belief that most Clowns only play their role so they can be an asshole and brush it off as "doing their job", and even I don't hate their "jokes" this much.

Also, if jokes like that are the worst part of being an Unathi, I think I'd quite enjoy being one if it involves not suffocating when my throat gets even remotely dry.

[eats-the-dirt]

If it was a joke they should've considered not slapping me with a live animal. Or being a clown. Still hate clowns, but I digress. After you've been dealing with (and far, far worse things) for 23 years, consecutively, without break, it starts seeming reasonable. We even have internal speciesism! I'm very gotten very close to a fistfight with another Unathi over our point of origin.

[son-of-deimos]

Counter argument, remove one of their legs.

They can't learn to be better if they're dead, and the crawl of shame to med for a new one combined with the pain should get the point across.

[godd-damned]

less work for me too!

[godd-damned]

Stupid secoff called me "dumb fucking gecko".

he was not so inclined to do again after being stabbed.

[eric-caldera]

Based on your beret, you're... the Corpsman, right? Or just a Security Officer? Something like that. Isn't your job literally to prevent that from happening?

As any member of Security, you shouldn't be stabbing people for insulting you. In fact, stabbing should only be resorted to if your target is actively threatening people's lives or if non-lethally incapacitating them with your stun baton is not an option.

Even still, using your stun baton should be reserved for people who actively break the law. Spitting in your face and calling you a "dumb fucking gecko" is not against space law anywhere that I'm aware of.

By Nar'sie, and people wonder why the term "Shitsec" exists...

[gods-strongest-hop]

This situation would be an excellent use for the Formal Complaint Form. The Formal Complaint Form is 500% less likely to result in subsequent violence as opposed to "literal violence".

[godd-damned]

also makes 500% less fun...

[gods-strongest-hop]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you enjoyed permanent confinement so much!

[smiles corporately] Carry on!

[godd-damned]

I run confinement! I know ze tricks to make not permanent!

[eric-caldera]

You sure you wanna continue this? As I established previously, you've already confessed to crimes worth up to 45 minutes in the brig if we're being generous, and if we're not, in permanent confinement.

You're well aware that breach of custody is also capital, right? Code 406, look it up: "To escape the custody of law enforcement while serving a legal sentence, or awaiting trial for a capital offense."

I will be notifying the Warden of this. At this point, I'm not sure if you're trying to justify your actions or if you're trying to speedrun getting executed.

[godd-damned]

I am warden!

No charges ever pressed!

[eric-caldera]

Good lord, I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with your shit on whatever station you're on. Shall I take this up with the Head of Security, or the Captain? Because Seccies who think they can get away with everything just because they're Sec is how we get problems like tyranny, and also how revolutions and other similar uprisings start.

[godd-damned]

You unfamiliar with goob sector? stuff like this happens all ze time!

[godd-damned]

Stupid secoff called me "dumb fucking gecko".

he was not so inclined to do again after being stabbed.

[eric-caldera]

Based on your beret, you're... the Corpsman, right? Or just a Security Officer? Something like that. Isn't your job literally to prevent that from happening?

As any member of Security, you shouldn't be stabbing people for insulting you. In fact, stabbing should only be resorted to if your target is actively threatening people's lives or if non-lethally incapacitating them with your stun baton is not an option.

Even still, using your stun baton should be reserved for people who actively break the law. Spitting in your face and calling you a "dumb fucking gecko" is not against space law anywhere that I'm aware of.

By Nar'sie, and people wonder why the term "Shitsec" exists...

[gods-strongest-hop]

This situation would be an excellent use for the Formal Complaint Form. The Formal Complaint Form is 500% less likely to result in subsequent violence as opposed to "literal violence".

[godd-damned]

also makes 500% less fun...

[gods-strongest-hop]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you enjoyed permanent confinement so much!

[smiles corporately] Carry on!

[godd-damned]

I run confinement! I know ze tricks to make not permanent!

[eric-caldera]

You sure you wanna continue this? As I established previously, you've already confessed to crimes worth up to 45 minutes in the brig if we're being generous, and if we're not, in permanent confinement.

You're well aware that breach of custody is also capital, right? Code 406, look it up: "To escape the custody of law enforcement while serving a legal sentence, or awaiting trial for a capital offense."

I will be notifying the Warden of this. At this point, I'm not sure if you're trying to justify your actions or if you're trying to speedrun getting executed.

[godd-damned]

I am warden!

No charges ever pressed!

[godd-damned]

Stupid secoff called me "dumb fucking gecko".

he was not so inclined to do again after being stabbed.

[eric-caldera]

Based on your beret, you're... the Corpsman, right? Or just a Security Officer? Something like that. Isn't your job literally to prevent that from happening?

As any member of Security, you shouldn't be stabbing people for insulting you. In fact, stabbing should only be resorted to if your target is actively threatening people's lives or if non-lethally incapacitating them with your stun baton is not an option.

Even still, using your stun baton should be reserved for people who actively break the law. Spitting in your face and calling you a "dumb fucking gecko" is not against space law anywhere that I'm aware of.

By Nar'sie, and people wonder why the term "Shitsec" exists...

[gods-strongest-hop]

This situation would be an excellent use for the Formal Complaint Form. The Formal Complaint Form is 500% less likely to result in subsequent violence as opposed to "literal violence".

[godd-damned]

also makes 500% less fun...

[gods-strongest-hop]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you enjoyed permanent confinement so much!

[smiles corporately] Carry on!

[godd-damned]

I run confinement! I know ze tricks to make not permanent!

[godd-damned]

Stupid secoff called me "dumb fucking gecko".

he was not so inclined to do again after being stabbed.

[eric-caldera]

Based on your beret, you're... the Corpsman, right? Or just a Security Officer? Something like that. Isn't your job literally to prevent that from happening?

As any member of Security, you shouldn't be stabbing people for insulting you. In fact, stabbing should only be resorted to if your target is actively threatening people's lives or if non-lethally incapacitating them with your stun baton is not an option.

Even still, using your stun baton should be reserved for people who actively break the law. Spitting in your face and calling you a "dumb fucking gecko" is not against space law anywhere that I'm aware of.

By Nar'sie, and people wonder why the term "Shitsec" exists...

[gods-strongest-hop]

This situation would be an excellent use for the Formal Complaint Form. The Formal Complaint Form is 500% less likely to result in subsequent violence as opposed to "literal violence".

[godd-damned]

also makes 500% less fun...

[godd-damned]

Stupid secoff called me "dumb fucking gecko".

he was not so inclined to do again after being stabbed.

[eric-caldera]

Based on your beret, you're... the Corpsman, right? Or just a Security Officer? Something like that. Isn't your job literally to prevent that from happening?

As any member of Security, you shouldn't be stabbing people for insulting you. In fact, stabbing should only be resorted to if your target is actively threatening people's lives or if non-lethally incapacitating them with your stun baton is not an option.

Even still, using your stun baton should be reserved for people who actively break the law. Spitting in your face and calling you a "dumb fucking gecko" is not against space law anywhere that I'm aware of.

By Nar'sie, and people wonder why the term "Shitsec" exists...

[gods-strongest-hop]

This situation would be an excellent use for the Formal Complaint Form. The Formal Complaint Form is 500% less likely to result in subsequent violence as opposed to "literal violence".

[eats-the-dirt]

You know what's infinitely more effective than stabbing or formal complaints? Throwing them out the airlock without a hard suit. Murder is bad, but so is speciesism. This makes murder justifiable. Don't check my math, I'm a great mathematician.

[gods-strongest-hop]

...who are you and what did you do with my friend who has told me that violence is never an acceptable solution?

[eats-the-dirt]

Uhhh sorry he might've died after the 7th person [This data has been expunged by NanoTrasen Standards & Practices]. But now you have me, who's not afraid to stand up for himself. Besides, sec gets clones anyways.