the cum dumpster

this is a blog where i post fucking awesome fanfic recs. i'm not fandom exclusive though the vast majority (basically all) of these are bbc sherlock and johnlock. i take almost any ships as well. if you would like to submit a work please do so below. this blog is NSFW though not blatently, only if you read what's on it, it's not like i got dicks floatin' on behind your cursor. everything is tagged pronouns are he/him/his. btw chicklets, read the warnings header courtesy of animatedtext

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: testosterone_tea

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 8443

Summary:

Sherlock lives in a crappy, run-down flat during his grad studies in chemistry when an attractive med student moves in next door.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: Flangst

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 2321

Summary:

A bored Sherlock stumbles over John’s hidden booze and decides to investigate…

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: kinklock

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 7227

Summary:

While working as a video sign language interpreter for the deaf, John’s last client of the day asks him to interpret a highly unusual call.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: cwb

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 7429

Summary:

John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you’re coiled like a spring and ready to be … sprung?”

“If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.”

“Like I said, you should do something about that.”

“And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –”

“I don’t mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: kinklock

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 24296

Summary:

Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he’d been craving.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: CaitlinFairchild

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 8462

Summary:

“Sherlock, I think you may be on to something.” John tightened his fingers in Sherlock’s hair. “I won’t hit you,” John said, radiating calm control as he pulled hard on the sensitive strands, making him gasp in pain and surprise. “But I’m thinking hitting isn’t the only way to give you what you want. You want sensory input? I can get--” he pulled Sherlock’s head up and leaned closer-- ”Very--” he pulled his hair even harder-- “creative,” he whispered, licking the delicate curve at the top of his ear. 

Sherlock moaned, a throaty, desperate sound that sent a jolt of fire straight through John’s body. “Oh yes, John,” he breathed. "Yes, please.”

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: scullyseviltwin

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 7293

Summary:

One warm palm in the middle of John’s chest and he goes back willingly against Sherlock’s duvet. “We managed just fine last night.”

“We did,” John grins stupidly. “Didn’t we?”

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: ClassyGirlsWearPearls

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 11612

Summary: 

Giving Joan an orgasm is tougher than Sherlock thought it would be.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: edy

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 3471

Summary:

He smells like your father’s cologne.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: edy

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 6038

Summary:

There is Something underneath John Watson’s bed.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: chemma66

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 8356

Summary:

Sherlock indulges in an herbal soother of his own for a case. John catches him in the act, and joins in. Dancing, munchies, and sexy times soon follow.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: damesansmerci

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 3014

Summary:

Sherlock has a rape/military fantasy wherein his big strong soldier holds him down and takes what he wants while Sherlock begs him to stop.

5+1. 5 fantasies Sherlock had and the 1 time John agreed to play along.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: testosterone_tea

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 6430

Summary: 

John has temporary amnesia coming off of anaesthesia after an operation and not only does he not recognize Sherlock, he starts flirting with him! After John recovers, he doesn’t remember the incident at all. But Sherlock does. Confusion ensues.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: brage

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 13920

Summary:

5+1 fic in which the title is the summary. Loads of minor medical issues that leave poor Sherlock a bit wumped with each chapter, but no worries, John is an excellent doctor. This story spans from the day after their first meeting to approximately a year and a half afterwards. I might bend canon a bit but nothing major. This is just a fun, fluffy story with a bit of humor (hopefully you think so anyway) and my personal weakness, medical issues with lots of comfort. I promise not to cause too much damage and I always put them right back where I found them.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: testosterone_tea

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 5171

Summary:

Sherlock makes a mistake anyone could make and accidentally incites John’s rage. John manages to hit an emotional blow, and Sherlock’s avoidance results in John getting injured. John is trying to make things right, and Sherlock is an awkward virgin. 

Who knew that pink-tinted pants would have such consequences?

[goddamnfanfiction]

Author: Sexxica

Fandom: Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock/ John

Word Count: 4401

Summary:

John and a younger Sherlock meet at a military ball with John wearing a kilt.

[goddamnfanfiction]

Praise Kink

Angel Hair by justacookieofthecumberbatch (buffyholic)

Successful heart surgeon John Watson is bored, but his waiter has just the thing for him. 

His Good Boy by allonsys_girl

Six months into their romantic relationship, John discovers Sherlock has a praise kink.

A Small Misunderstanding by Hyliare

Sherlock Holmes is a virgin omega bonded to his flatmate, John Watson. Sex does alarm him, just a little bit, but he’d like that to change. John Watson is a very patient alpha. He loves Sherlock, sex or none, but is happy to help his mate learn the ins and outs of physical relationships. At the same time, Sherlock helps John learn about his own sexual quirks.

Praise Me by testosterone_tea

In which Sherlock has an interesting physical reaction to compliments and John discovers it. 

For Rent by Sexxica

John needs to let off some steam. What better way to do it than by hiring the prettiest rentboy on the block?

Never Bored by philalethia

Sherlock makes a comment about the dullness of their sex life, so John sets out to rectify the problem … by bringing home a dog collar and a rubber ball and offering to piss on Sherlock.

Slow Drive by TheRavenLady

It starts off slow. Compliments tossed out at a crime scene turn into a problem. And then… then it becomes far from a problem.