all of this mess is just my
attempt to know the worth of my life
@ GODSAND independent / selective / mutuals - only GAARA from kishimoto's NARUTO series .
portrayed by aster
✧ CARRD / x / PLAYLIST ✧

JVL
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oozey mess

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styofa doing anything
will byers stan first human second
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Peter Solarz
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trying on a metaphor
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@godsand-archive
all of this mess is just my
attempt to know the worth of my life
@ GODSAND independent / selective / mutuals - only GAARA from kishimoto's NARUTO series .
portrayed by aster
✧ CARRD / x / PLAYLIST ✧
@ournindos ( naruto )
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐊𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐇𝐀 blow with steady winds , quite different from the dry heat that stews in the bowl of suna's expanse . he breathes in the refreshing air , taking advantage of the coolness in his lungs . naruto sits comfortably at his side as they peer out toward the village .
❛ things are different now . ❜ his voice is soft , free from malice , yet stricken with stress .
@allgather ( kankuro )
𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 , 𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 , goes the clock , the metronome of time resounding from the wall's centermost placement . it's silent for awhile , as the two sometimes find each other in the newly formed presence of one another . things are still fresh , despite how much has changed , so quickly . gaara's newfound resolve was formed with great haste , so it was to no one's surprise that new old - relationships would build with tension , trust , & awkwardness . it wasn't as if gaara himself was much of a talker in the first place .
still , he's made it his mission to try . to heal these severed bonds & re - construct his bridges burned .
looking to kankuro's complexion , he recognizes it , plastered with purple hues despite the late hour of the night . he wonders , for a moment , if he ever washes it off .
❛ we finally have some time . ❜ he brushes off the thought & initiates a more , not so personal , form of conversation .
like to plot / talk dynamics !
and here you are, continuing on, despite how hard it’s been
quotes that broke me starters
feel free to adjust pronouns / names as needed !
quotes taken from random sources or tiktok. i claim no ownership whatsoever.
❛ i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one. ❜
❛ if i could make a deal with god, and i’d get him to swap our places. ❜
❛ no one heard our screams for a long time. ❜
❛ i know so many last words. but i’ll never know hers. ❜
❛ there is a home for every departed thing. ❜
❛ it reminded me that i will never truly know you. ❜
❛ i also buried a part of myself alongside them. ❜
❛ after you died i could no longer hold a funeral. so my life became the funeral. ❜
❛ you don’t have to be awake to cry. ❜
❛ forgive me, for all the things i did. but mostly the things i didn’t do. ❜
❛ the human eye is the loneliest creation of all. ❜
❛ fairness is for happy people. ❜
❛ the things we lost will always be heavier than the things that stayed. ❜
❛ perhaps it is the greater grief, to remain on the earth when another is gone. ❜
❛ you stain the pages with yourself. ❜
❛ tears will not wash away the sorrow. ❜
❛ beautiful things grow a certain height and then they fall and fade off. ❜
❛ who in all these centuries has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most? ❜
❛ i have scars on my hands from touching certain people ❜
❛ despite everything, i believe that people are really good at heart. ❜
❛ you tried to change, didn’t you? ❜
❛ you can’t make homes out of people. someone should have taught you that. ❜
❛ i hid my deepest feelings so well, i forgot where i placed them. ❜
❛ we have no scar to show for happiness. we learn so little from peace. ❜
❛ i didn’t leave because i stopped loving you. i left because the longer i stayed, the less i loved myself. ❜
❛ at every moment in our life, we have one foot in a fairytale & the other in the abyss. ❜
❛ there are too many sad eyes on happy faces. ❜
❛ it’s strange, i felt less lonely when i didn’t know you. ❜
❛ things change, friends leave. life doesn’t stop for anybody. ❜
❛ it takes a lifetime to die, and no time at all. ❜
❛ i am deathly afraid of almosts. of coming close to what i want and then falling just a little short. ❜
❛ i felt your absence. ❜
❛ what do we do now, now that we are happy? ❜
❛ you honestly thought anybody would love you? purely and truly love you? ❜
❛ don’t stop looking. he deserves to know someone saw his end, that someone noticed him. ❜
❛ i can bear my pain so long as it has meaning. ❜
❛ i dont have a single friend - not one. ❜
❛ i’ve had more than enough pain in my life, what’s a little more going to do? ❜
❛ it would have been you if i met you first. ❜
❛ i really thought he was going to be my forever. ❜
❛ maybe in the next life it would work. ❜
❛ in spite of everything, you’re still you. ❜
❛ the dead have it easy. ❜
❛ there’s an ocean of silence between us, and I’m drowning. ❜
❛ there have been countless times in my life when i thought i’d be better off dead. ❜
❛ what on earth… have i become? ❜
❛ don’t look at me! i don’t … i don’t want you seeing me like this. ❜
❛ i wish i could’ve been like you. ❜
❛ your fate was sweeping you away, like a flood. ❜
❛ the future should know the mistakes we made. ❜
❛ of course you have. you feel guilt. you want redemption. ❜
❛ i’m here because you can’t accept what you’ve done. it broke you. ❜
❛ even now, after all you’ve done, you can still go home. lucky you . ❜
❛ you’re all that’s left, and we can’t live this lie forever. ❜
❛ prometheus gave us light, and warmth, and eternal damnation. ❜
❛ take a gamble that love exists, and do a loving act. ❜
❛ i know i ruined your life. i suffer for it every day. ❜
❛ don’t let yourself get killed for… for pride. i’ve seen it kill too many folk. ❜
❛ you and me, we ain’t decent… but those folk… they were. ❜
❛ we’re more ghosts than people. ❜
❛ despite my best efforts to the contrary… it turns out i’ve won. ❜
❛ i gave you all i had … i did. ❜
❛ this whole time, I’ve blamed myself for that decision. ❜
❛ do you think even the worst person can change…? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜
❛ i don’t want to break their hearts all over again. it’s better if they never see me. ❜
❛ please leave me alone. i can’t come back. i just … can’t, okay? ❜
❛ no matter the struggles or hardships you faced… you strived to do the right thing, you refused to hurt anyone. ❜
❛ people like you don’t ever want to be happy. ❜
❛ i don’t want to let go. i’m not ready to say goodbye yet. ❜
Waking Up
Gaara fanart. I just love him, and painting this golden orange and sky blue together was so fun. I was in a bit of a digital art block and doing fanart usually helps to kick me out of it. And true enough, painting Gaara was just the thing.
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Serial killer turned babushka
🐝 * ― 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. ( random assortment of sentences that can but don’t have to be used for muses meeting each other for the first time. feel free to adjust to better fit your muses. )
❛ i know we only just met but i already feel like i’ve known you my whole life. ❜ ❛ umm, is this seat taken ? ❜ ❛ don’t be alarmed now but there’s someone following you. pretend you know me and come with me. i’ll get you somewhere safe. ❜ ❛ my friends ditched me here and now i could really use a ride home. ❜ ❛ i don’t think we’ve met yet but you looked like you needed someone to talk to. ❜ ❛ can you please pretend to be my boyfriend / girlfriend for a moment so my ex will leave me alone ? ❜ ❛ are you always this straightforward with strangers ? ❜ ❛ here, i noticed you lost this earlier. ❜ ❛ i’m sorry, i must’ve mistaken you for somebody else. ❜ ❛ so, what brings you here today ? ❜ ❛ hi, my name is [name]. it’s nice meeting you. ❜ ❛ you’re cute. how about i buy you a drink ? ❜ ❛ can’t you watch where you are going ?! ❜ ❛ i just moved into the apartment next to you, so i guess we’re gonna be neighbors now. ❜ ❛ oh god, you’re [name], aren’t you ? ❜ ❛ here, let me help you. ❜ ❛ is there a reasons you’re here on your own ? ❜ ❛ apparently we’re going to be working on this together now. ❜ ❛ you look like you could use a hand with that. ❜ ❛ what do people around here do to have some fun ? ❜ ❛ looks like this will take a while, huh ? ❜ ❛ oh god. please tell me you haven’t just heard me talk to myself. ❜ ❛ excuse me, i think i’m lost. ❜ ❛ i just wanted to say that i really like your outfit. ❜ ❛ do you come here often ? ❜ ❛ do you mind if i join you for a bit ? ❜ ❛ you looked lonely so i got you a drink. ❜ ❛ i don’t think we’ve met, i’m [name]. ❜ ❛ what the hell just happened there ? ❜ ❛ have you seen this anywhere ? i must’ve lost it. ❜ ❛ can i please use your phone ? i have to call someone to get me out of here. ❜ ❛ seems like we’re gonna be spending a lot of time together. ❜ ❛ come with me, and don’t ask any questions. it’s urgent. ❜ ❛ i heard strange noises coming from your apartment and just wanted to make sure everything is alright. ❜ ❛ i have a spare ticket, you wanna come in with me ? ❜ ❛ you don’t know me but will you be my date for tonight ? ❜ ❛ we’ve got some time to kill so why don’t you tell me a little about yourself ? ❜ ❛ i don’t usually just walk up to strangers but my friends set me up to it. ❜ ❛ i think our orders may have gotten mixed up. ❜ ❛ do i have something on my face or why do you keep looking at me like that ? ❜
Fingertips ruffle the others hair. (Temari.)
, @sunchascd
TOUCH , A FOREIGN concept for a boy whose siblings were kept from him through childhood . the only one who ever ruffled his hair was yashamaru , & it remained that way until this very moment . the brief feeling of fingers intertwined with unkempt crimson sends a shiver down his spine & he holds his arms closely , as if to counter the near overwhelming sensation .
he doesn't say anything , but offers her a simper as rare as can be . it's a means of a thank you , of a ' i'm sorry ' .
@ozumakis *
SOFTLY DO THE TREES WHISPER to the two boys who almost touch hands , but not quite . they whisper love , they whisper hushed feelings that have yet to be unveiled , & they whisper future blossoms . gaara's chest is tight , all the way to his throat & lets out a hefty breath , still quiet , still nervous . his hands are shaking .
❛ we are much alike , naruto . because of this , i wanted to ask you something personal . ❜
shikeis· *
@godsand· .
“ lord kazeka — er, sorry; gaara. hey. “
he’s quick to correct himself, spotting the look of discomfort warping the other’s visage. lip curls into a smile as he draws a lit cigarette from his lips, flicking it to the ground with a nod. “ figures that after fightin’ by your side for so long, we can drop the titles. we did compete in the chūnin exams together, after all. “ head tips skyward then, a nostalgic expression overcoming weary features. “ man, to think that was so long ago now. who’d’a thought we’d be where we are today, huh ? “
AH , EVER WITH THE formalities , he thinks for a moment before shikamaru does away with them , & approaches gaara second as a person , first as a leader . he's right to do away with the titles -- after all , gaara would have corrected him if he , himself , hadn't done so already . he wants to ask what it is that's needed of him , that is , until the man begins to dwell on past moments .
the past is a tricky subject for gaara . it is tainted with misery , stained with blood , & crowned with an overtly antagonistic , most pessimistic way of living . his memories are not all fond , but he's thankful he's been offered the second chances that he has . the boy who once watched him try to steal so many innocent lives , who watched him at the foot of lee's bed , harnessing the will to lay him to permanent rest , now stands before him as someone who accepts him . & even if he didn't , gaara would still understand . he's learned to deal with the hatred of who he once was . he hates him too .
❛ many things have changed . our standing here is proof of that . ❜
psychamancy· *
The smile softens some – a touch nostalgic, though their history in normal cases shouldn’t warrant such a stirred emotion. In spite of, Neku waves a nonchalant hand – canting his head to the side. “ Don’t mention it. “ And the past is just that – in the past.
Shoes scuff against the pavement, and just as easily as Neku forgives, he seats himself beside Gaara with a hum – propping one knee up to hug it with his arm and rest his chin on it. The steps to Udagawa are nice for this: people watching, while being a part of the atmosphere all the same. It’s the perfect way to simply blend in.
“ From the looks of it, the UG seems to be settling down some for you guys, right? “ He turns his head to him – pointing a finger up at nothing while swirling it around. “ It’s been warms for a while now. “
@godsand·
SILENCE BEFALLS the two as gaara folds his hands up to his chin , settling , thinking . so it's true that things have been less chaotic than they used to be , less strenuous , & for that , he's thankful . neku sakuraba is someone he once truly detested ; once wished was dead , along with several others . envy is no fleeting feeling , after all . not for a child who had nothing , & wished for so little .
❛ indeed , it has . ❜
he agrees quietly , whilst guilt gnaws at his veins , his heart , his very essence . neku is quite perceptive , & gaara's sure he may take notice . he frowns at himself for a brief moment & sighs warm air into his palms , fingers heating slightly before devolving to their previous temperature .
❛ you've changed , sakuraba . what was it ? ❜
florafate· *
“ me ? oh, nothing ! you just looked a little dazed and confused. are you lost ? hungry ? my mom should be cooking dinner by now if you are interested ! ”
❛ dinner . . . ❜
THE OVERCOMPLICATION OF the mind grasps ahold of his sense of nostalgia for which nothing exists , & the simple pleasure of having dinner as a family is one he's known so few times .
❛ no , thank you . you shouldn't trouble yourselves . ❜
我愛羅