God Things And Heart Strings

My name is Haley Staples. I live for music, adventure, and making others smile. Like most of us, I'm trying to find my voice in this world. This is a messy collaboration of some thoughts I'd like to share. Enjoy.

[godthingsandheartstrings]

teeth clenched, arms crossed

I trace a sideways eight

Praying God will give me powers

To see the inside of your brain

This curiosity is toxic

Though also beautiful, colored rose

I let it eat the tar around my heart

And let my tongue go rogue

It moves fast, then again faster

Unleashed and on the hunt

For the answers to the voices

That won’t stop, a constant hum

Of “he doesn’t know he’s perfect,

I wish it were less obvious to me

Then my heart wouldn’t tremble

Every time he turns to leave”

My heart, beating faster, reaches

It’s arm up to my mouth

“Please stop the sad songs, I’m begging you,

Don’t give him reason to want out”

[godthingsandheartstrings]

My insides wiggled at first

Unused to being still

As if moving hasn’t tangled them

To the breaking point for years

But here we are, just the three of us

Stillness, Coffee, and I

And suddenly, she -stillness-

She has seduced me

Because though i hate quiet

The ticking has paused

And fresh snow has covered the noise

Of my black scars and doubts

Veiling them with clean glittering beauty and hope

[godthingsandheartstrings]

4.17.18

our commitments underneath my fingernails

I’m clawing without a sound

But my scratches are starting to surface

And you won’t be the first to the scene

Ears closed, won’t listen or see

No hats dropped at my bleeding feet

I thought in your arms i was complete

But then you broke them and laid them on me

Chest empty, since my heart’s in your hands

So the arms drop through my cage to the floor

They stopped reaching, then the infection spread

To your ears and the gates to your heart and your guard

My knees are bruised

From the prayers for the keys

To open those gates and your legs

My camel’s back broken from humps untouched

I think if you had sticky self love, that’d be the glue

To reattach those arms

For your golf game with your friends

And I’ve always only

Wanted the best for you

[godthingsandheartstrings]

i hope my smoke

Off my legs and my mouth

Singes all the dumb ants

Walking in circles

Praying i die

Fighting for my crumbs

Sorry little soldiers

Of no use but nuisance

Small minds can’t kill me

Only i

Big minded

Can eat myself alive

[godthingsandheartstrings]

Oshean

I like to think the ocean is a she

In tune with the moon

She listens to me

And crashes over, always free

She’s a mess in her

Unpredictability

But there’s beauty in her crashes

Hope found in her vastness

Lots willing to be swallowed whole

Gladly let her take her toll

Angry when the storms come

And out to play and reflect the suns rays

She pulls away right before landing

On boring real dry land

And keeps you wanting her fingers

To reach your space on the sand

She’s salty and seduces me

To run to her every time

She’s the only other one

Up with me late at night

She rises up when called upon

She’ll be there, devoted, every shore

Her crashes louder than all the noise

And i feel like she’s mine

It’s me and her against the earth

She listens, understands

And crashes like me

And over me

Whenever i need her

To swallow my brain

And my skin

Wash me clean

And heal my scars

[godthingsandheartstrings]

you make my cold heart

smile so warm

being held tightly

by trusted hands

that know how to tap the beat

[godthingsandheartstrings]

[godthingsandheartstrings]

[godthingsandheartstrings]

H

Nothing can save me

besides Him

the capital

and him the un capital

the lowercase h meaning everything

even though I found the uppercase

in his uppercase

and lowercase

and I’ve said too much

but prayed too little

and maybe if I let my mouth shut

the hot air would pour out of my head

it could melt the tar

encasing my heart

and cover it with truth

and with love

from the lowercase and uppercase

H.

[godthingsandheartstrings]

There’s something massive

Eating my insides

And I don’t remember swallowing

Tar, black, tangled webs that lie

Tangled, meddled by substances lie

Just like me, beneath my ribs

Every day hosted by hostile

Insides, strong

Coffee, an aching, poisoned

Heart, and it slips me

Secrets of it’s intentions

One big scary line at a time

“could you put it down for good?”

“an addicts heart grows black and weak

as quickly as it loves”

or sometimes like “a break from society maybe or being pinned down by commitment

could save me”

but nothing can save me

I’m the girl who saved herself

And who took her cape off somewhere in Mexico On a table

Liquid silver or gold numbing my insides

Sparkle on the outside

But laced with a painful tomorrow within

The bottle

And without it

[godthingsandheartstrings]

Roses are Full of and Given By Pricks

No sleep for weeks now

That buzzing in her head heats

Her fear of what’s next

Air pushed out of lungs red walls

Flesh breathes taught with that red fear

Red’s never been kind

Blood, love, fire – always vengeful

I wish it’d be blue

Prickless petals fall

From such tempting, poisoned lips

What luck to die bitten

[godthingsandheartstrings]

I know your arms are strong

And whole without

My small limbs beneath your branches

But maybe i could fill you

Up like you didn’t know i could

And we’d grow tall, intertwined

To see the stars up close

Though the light may burn you

We’d no longer pay attention to ants

Or jealous weeds

Only ankle high and greedy

For the key to heaven that we found

Because love, you’ve left me wet

You watered me with grace and lust

And my limbs now are thirsty

To be picked by your hands

From the million pretty stems

That cry out to fill your vase

And vice versa

[godthingsandheartstrings]

My tongues two sided

Twisted and stuck

To two different poles

That are trying to fuck

And I’m freezing

Even inside

Because dreamers never stop

Thinking about colder days

Even when they’re hot

Love can’t seep through

My walls or my cracks

You can love me all you want to

And I may wish I loved you back

[godthingsandheartstrings]

I feel like God put you beside me

When fate’s bus got close behind me

So you could sweep me up

Pull me close

Save my life time after time

From all potential danger

Or unluck or i love

For the last time

It’s the first time

I’ll have new to dream of

Though I’m a mess I promise

on all my eyelashes and cents

That I’ll love you kindly, honest

And I’ll be the best I’ve ever been

[godthingsandheartstrings]

To know there’s a you in the world, and against all odds our souls can meet, gives me all the hope i need.

I don’t know

If you’ll really miss

My makeup stains

Or our last kiss

Or if seeing the Maine

Or hearing Queen

Will bring your heart

Reaching back for me

But I’ll hold tight

Fingers and toes crossed

That this isn’t goodbye for good

As into the unknown I walk

[godthingsandheartstrings]

I let my limbs get wrapped

Around then uprooted i fell

Miles away from your beams

With you out from under my spell

I’ll scatter my petals

But you are the sun

I’ll grow towards you

Wherever I run

And if nothing at all

At least it was fun

To bloom in your light

Even if not the one

[godthingsandheartstrings]

Roses are Full of and Given By Pricks

No sleep for weeks now

That buzzing in her head heats

Her fear of what’s next

Air pushed out of lungs red walls

Flesh breathes taught with that red fear

Red’s never been kind

Blood, love, fire – always vengeful

I wish it’d be blue

Prickless petals fall

From such tempting, poisoned lips

What luck to die bitten