Hakyeon hadn’t noticed that he had started taking the way back toward home instead of walking on until he passed by the bus stop he had passed just mere moments ago. A bus stopped the moment he walked past again, a few people got out, a few people got in. The people waiting now were different ones than before, the scenery was different. Hakyeon slowed down in his steps and watched, distracted for a second.
And then the phone in his hand buzzed again. He had opened the message fast, didn’t even check the sender because he knew it would be Taekwoon. Or more like, he hoped, and he was right. Please wait… Hakyeon read it in his head, in Taekwoon’s voice, unwillingly so. The blonde male was confused for a moment, wondered if he had asked his question to continue talking too fast despite waiting for a week. He had worried if a week had been too short, and now he was worried if a week was too soon. His mind couldn’t make up.
He was still looking at the display when suddenly, the phone started playing the standard melody ringtone every phone seemed to be set to, buzzing in his hand. A new incoming call, from Taekwoon, no, Hamjji with a heart. Hakyeon froze. Had Taekwoon asked him to wait so he could call back? Of all the things to happen, his old friend actually calling him back was the least he expected to happen. Hakyeon’s heart was beating fast, letting the phone ring another two times in which he just stared. A display picture was not assigned to the number, of course. Maybe he would add one later, when, no, if he managed to do this friend thing right.
Eventually, Hakyeon picked up the call. Probably way too late, but the mailbox hadn’t been faster than him yet so he assumed it was alright. Yes, he had had the phone in his hands all the time and yes, people had started staring at him because he just wouldn’t pick up the call, instead just stare. But he really didn’t want Taekwoon to think that he had been waiting for something, even though his fast responses had probably given him away anyway.
"Hamjji?" He had asked way too fast, a slight amused spark to his voice as he did so. He tried to not let his nervousness about it show. It was Taekwoon who had put in the name, he reminded himself, he shouldn’t worry about this being too much. And he continued his walk, watching his way now as he was on the phone. He had noticed Taekwoon humming when he had picked up, assuming he was in a good mood and he smiled at that thought. "I was surprised when I saw the name, I would have expected a simple Jung Taekwoon" he hummed, "and you calling me back surprised me too."
Maybe some nervousness now actually seeped through his voice, with his last words, and he didn’t know how to ask further if Taekwoon wanted to meet. Hakyeon thought that, of course, Taekwoon wouldn’t have called if he didn’t want to talk. But meeting was a whole different story, he suddenly felt this way at least, and he fell quiet. He’d wait what Taekwoon would want to say; he didn’t want to be overwhelming again with the first spoken sentences already.
Hakyeon had walked a while, gotten rid of the empty plastic cup in the nearest trashcan when he left the park, and maybe he was giving up too fast when he thought that Taekwoon was busy and he wouldn’t get a response anytime soon. Shortly after that thought however, his phone that he had kept in his hand buzzed and made him startle in surprise. He stopped walking to check.
On the screen was written what he had been waiting for, New Text Message, from the person named Hamjji in his phone. With a heart. Hakyeon huffed out a breath of amusement reading the name again, it was still a little funny although also extremely cute. He went on, just a little, to stand by the wall of a building nearby to unlock his phone; he didn’t want to block the sidewalk.
By the time he opened the message, two more were coming in, and he blinked his eyes as he started to read. Taekwoon was sorry - for everything? The blonde haired male sighed at that, shaking his head a little to himself as he wondered what exactly the other was being sorry for. Leaving him in the past? Or what had happened recently at the coffee shop? Hakyeon wasn’t sure, but assumed the recent happenings were more present than the past, and he quietly accepted that maybe Taekwoon was referring to both. He somehow felt like he didn’t need an apology, not from Taekwoon anyway - he never really held grudges, he only tended to overthink things. It eased his mind a little, at least, and he was thankful for that.
Hakyeon read on, a brow raising in surprise. So Taekwoon could do his work from home? Until now, all that Hakyeon had been told was that Taekwoon worked at the library, so this was a bit of a surprise. Wouldn’t he have to stay at the library to actually do his job? But manuscripts... Hakyeon looked up for a moment, eyes narrowing at the sidewalk in front of him. He realized he could have asked further last time, when Taekwoon had told him where he worked but the occupation had been so clear and simple to him back then, he hadn’t questioned it. Now he was confused, and he wanted to know.
Looking back at his phone, his thumb tapped onto the text box at the bottom of the screen. The keyboard popped up, and he started typing out a response. Taekwoon was more or less free right now, he assumed, so he wouldn’t be a bother. Or would he?
[ To: Hamjji♥ | Today, PM 2:40 ] Oh! You work from home? That’s convenient I wish I could do that~^^
He sent that message, then paused, noticing the question he had completely missed at first. Taekwoon was asking him if he wanted to talk; did Hakyeon want to talk? Being completely honest, yes, he wanted to talk. But he stopped, pondered. It sounded a little like an offer, from Taekwoon’s side; but then again it was just a text message, and it could really mean anything. But he should respond to it, if he wanted to keep this conversation going, and he should be honest too. Still, he slowed down, typing with thought now as he was trying to put the words out carefully.
[ To: Hamjji♥ | Today, PM 2:43 ] Are you free enough to talk a bit? I would love to continue that conversation from last time, but in a brighter mood!
[ To: Hamjji♥ | Today, PM 2:43 ] Anytime!^^b
The last text was typed out rather fast in addition to the previous one. He didn’t like how the lack of a smiling face made it sound rather pressuring - or was it just him who thought that? He didn’t want to make a wrong move again, and he felt himself nervous once more as he locked the screen, walking on aimlessly as he waited for a response.
He had waited a week. Hakyeon wasn’t quite sure why he had waited this long to press the send button. Instead of sending it after waiting just a day or two, he took more and more days to just stare at it and continue tapping on dismiss over and over again – the message had been sitting in his drafts since a few hours after he had discovered Taekwoon’s number in his phone.
Maybe he had been a little scared, realizing this just now as he felt nervousness bubble up inside his stomach once the message finally showed that it was delivered and he wondered if Taekwoon would even give him a reply. The sudden thought of having been given a fake number was back; even though he knew that the idea itself was stupid. Taekwoon could have chosen to just not put in any number at all.
Hakyeon had decided to wait when he had first found the number in his phone, yes, but suddenly he wondered if a week had been too long, if it was awkward now that he had taken what was a felt eternity to just say a simple hi, by the way this is my number.
He puffed out a cheek, pondering over the situation, his eyes narrowing at the message he had sent and decided that it didn’t really give Taekwoon any way to respond other than with “okay”; which was why he quickly typed out another two messages to follow, fingers moving fast enough to be sending them nearly at the same time.
[ To: Hamjji♥ | Today, PM 2:28 ] I’m sorry this took so long, I didn’t forget! I was just busy and thought it would be better to message you now…
[ To: Hamjji♥ | Today, PM 2:28 ] Are you busy right now? It’s okay if you text back later!^^;;
Or, not at all. The blonde male took the straw of his orange juice in between his lips, still staring at the phone while he took a small sip, huffing out amused at his pessimistic thought that was so unlike him usually. But the past events were still lingering in the back of his head, even though he violently kept trying to push them away. There was nearly only air left in the plastic cup, he noticed, another sip and he’d be down to the ice cubes which where slowly melting into the remains of the beverage.
He had a free day today; off dance schedules, off coffee shop shifts, and so he had decided to sit in the park close to his home and just enjoy the warmth of the sun tickling on his skin. Just for a little bit; he would move onto a different bench that was more into the shade later.
Maybe he should close the app, he hummed to himself to that thought, the messages still reading a mere delivered and he wondered if Taekwoon had to work today. He probably did, of course, it was a normal work day, he shouldn’t be this nervous about it not being read within two minutes. Not everyone could get lucky like Hakyeon did – and he did that every once in a while. He could be practicing, but he had worked hard the past few days. There would be a dance performance the upcoming week, on Sunday, and he had helped choreographing that piece.
Lifting his gaze to the small playground at the corner of the park, there were no kids playing right now, he wondered if Taekwoon would be interested in watching him dance on stage. The thought was shaken off again, and he pushed himself up from the bench to walk a bit. He locked his phone as he did so, but kept it in his hand, afraid to miss a notification he was waiting for.
Hakyeon really didn’t know what to expect from the situation he had put himself into, having left his phone with the person he once used to call friend. He was pretty sure he already knew the answer to this pretty coward act of his where he left the choice of whether they would continue walking together or not to the person who seemed to not want to speak to him at all anymore. His list of contacts would stay the same, Hakyeon was convinced of that, and Taekwoon wouldn’t put in his name nor his number.
The slowly becoming more and more high-pitched blabbering of his coworker eventually started fading into nothing, blurred out by thoughts that were uncomfortably occupying his mind. The easy task at hand gave him way too much time to think about things he didn’t want to talk about; the past, the present, even the future. Scenarios how it could be, how it would have been, how it should be. Maybe things would be different had he just said the overwhelming words he wanted to say instead of walking away. Maybe Taekwoon would have hugged him. But that moment was over, and he felt regret.
He was glad when the dishwasher was finally empty - it had taken him way too long and he had felt the judging glare of his coworker, especially after she had seemed to notice that he wasn’t really paying attention to her rant -, and he could go home soon. The soft thud of when his phone was placed onto the counter seemed too loud in the tense air, and he turned almost immediately, could only catch Taekwoon’s back when he was walking out. Hakyeon assumed he would be right - and he wouldn’t find a new number in his phone. He would have picked the phone up more excitedly, but he only reached for it slowly, lazily. Maybe he was a little scared.
The phone wasn’t locked yet, and to his surprise he did find a new number - his heart suddenly beating faster again and he had to bite his bottom lip to stop himself from grinning when he read the name the other had put in along with it. It was anything but what he had expected; Hamjji, with a heart.
Jung Taekwoon had put a heart behind his nickname. A nickname that Hakyeon had given him ages ago and that seemed to be stuck with the matured Taekwoon. Hakyeon wondered, had it really stuck with him, or was it something else that had driven him to use it? Hakyeon’s eyes widened a little, curious, and carefully tapped a finger onto the screen as it darkened and dared to lock the phone. Suddenly, things didn’t seem so gloomy anymore, even though he still wanted to cry, but for different reasons now than before.
After changing in the staff room and grabbing his belongings, his way home was a walk full of thoughts again. He seemed to be thinking a lot more today ever since Taekwoon had decided to come back into his life. Was it okay to just message him or should he wait a bit longer? He didn’t want to seem too desperate, too overwhelming. Taekwoon had already shut him up once, he would probably do it again if he acted too fast and he didn’t want to risk it.
Katok.
His phone made a sound, and he got startled out of his thoughts. Maybe he should respond to his mother tonight, get his thoughts elsewhere and start with this fresh. Or maybe he should just sleep early and continue thinking about this tomorrow.
The door was pushed open once he had punched in the numbers to unlock it. It felt so heavy against his tired arms, and he immediately got out of his shoes and moved on to fall into his bed, ready to take a nap for a bit and restore his energies. His phone was unlocked again, and for some reason he went back to checking his contacts list, stopping at the letter H one more time, and he smiled.
Summer was approaching with big steps, Hakyeon had noticed today again as the heat outside had soon become overwhelming and it had become another day where he was grateful for the air-conditioning in the coffee shop he worked in. The contrast of in here to the outside world was almost too cold, sending shivers through his body when he had first entered to start his shift a few hours ago but he had adjusted to the temperature fast. Even though he would probably feel cold if he wasn’t moving around preparing drinks or handling the cash register.
Today was quite a busy day, he noticed the moment he had started work, people coming in for iced coffee and leaving usually as soon as they came, taking the cold beverage with them outside to continue their walk to wherever they were headed. Hakyeon preferred those kinds of days; days in which he had no time to rest, to feel bored or even sleepy during the hours he had to work. He didn’t like just standing around and waiting, it made days unnecessarily long.
As long as he didn’t have to force the smile to his face, or deal with rude customers, he was okay having busy shifts. Contrary to his colleague, who seemed stressed juggling the cash register today and was complaining about wanting to take yet another break to which Hakyeon only pursed his lips and pushed him aside playfully. “Lazy” he muttered under his breath as a joke, nudging the other man’s side once more but the door soon opened again, a new customer immediately taking Hakyeon’s attention.
The man who had just come in was completely covered in clothes, in this hot weather, which was the first thing Hakyeon noticed and he couldn’t hide a small, confused frown. The second thing he noticed was the quite outstanding silver hair, and his brows rose a bit in interest. Was it hair dye? It looked almost too neatly done; and then he thought back to how much he had struggled getting his hair just the right shade of blonde he had now, and for a second he wondered how. Before he could waste more thought on it, the man had completely stepped up to the counter and Hakyeon’s smile returned as he greeted. “What would you like?”
It was the way the other dropped his head, the way he voiced out his order that made Hakyeon’s smile fall again and he just quietly took the money, tapping something into the touch screen of the cash register. “You don’t want your drink iced?” He still asked, despite him having already noticed that the money had been counted out for a hot drink only. Maybe the guy hadn’t read the prices right, Hakyeon wondered; because this person was the first today who would be ordering something different than iced coffee.
Relief washed over Hakyeon’s expression when he heard Taekwoon chuckle at his sarcasm, even if it was just a small chuckle, and to see Taekwoon smirk at his words. He could see the amusement in his eyes, the expression so different than all the faces he had seen on the other male today. It made him happy knowing the reaction was directed toward him and not at something else, a puppy outside the window for example. No, Taekwoon’s reaction was for him and only for him. Maybe he hadn’t been doing all wrong ever since he sat down with the dark-haired male; he knew the other had always been a better listener than talker, it was probably still the same, he could figure that much.
But then he startled, his eyes widening just slightly when Taekwoon’s hand grabbed his water bottle that he had left unscrewed on the table and he just went ahead and emptied it, probably not even thinking about it twice. The empty bottle was placed back down where it had been taken from, Hakyeon’s flow of words completely broken with that. Everything he wanted to say fallen from his mind as he just blankly stared in confusion to what had just happened, from the bottle to Taekwoon and back to the bottle. And then he sank deeper in his seat, the loss for words leaving him insecure for a moment and he lowered his gaze into his lap.
That was until Taekwoon spoke up with an apology, having Hakyeon look up again, blinking his eyes at the other as he tried to take in the expression directed toward him and he found it being definitely unpleasant to say the least - he had preferred the smirk. And suddenly he felt bad, guilty even, for apparently talking too much all at once. Had he been talking too much? He suddenly wasn’t sure anymore; he thought he had been doing okay with this whole light conversation thing but he obviously hadn’t.
Hakyeon’s brows rose slightly as he opened his mouth to speak, but then his lips fell closed again without a word, a small, thoughtful frown taking over his features. Maybe he should end this conversation here and try to continue it another time - if there would be another time, because he honestly wasn’t even sure anymore if asking for Taekwoon’s number was an okay thing to do now. "I’m sorry" he then said, voice quiet and he reached for his neatly folded apron on the table, carelessly crumpling the fabric in a rather tight grip, "I still need to clean up some things from my shift, I can’t leave everything to the others, but…"
He paused, a light smile returning when he stood and took out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans. He unlocked it for Taekwoon, and with a soft sigh put it down on the table in front of the old friend who would probably stay just that. An old friend, a face from the past that he was lucky enough to meet just once again. Hakyeon felt sad, contrary to his smile that he was still wearing merely to cover up the disappointment he felt in himself. "If you want to put in your number, I can send you a message later. Just… leave it at the counter before you go. I don’t really like parting words." His voice was gentle, soft, and maybe a bit of hope was swinging in his tone as well when he pushed the device a bit closer to the other.
And with that Hakyeon wanted to turn, leave to finish up the work he should be doing but he found himself frozen, staring at Taekwoon for a little longer than he had intended to. He could feel his heart beating hard against his chest, his stomach twisting uncomfortably and suddenly his eyes appeared to be wet. I missed you, I was so worried about you, I thought I had lost you forever, I want to hug you, I’m so happy you’re okay, he really wanted to say all those words he knew would be overwhelming but he couldn’t. It felt wrong.
Instead, he quickly closed his eyes, turned, and walked back to the counter before he would have to choke back a sob. Taekwoon was right, it had been too much - everything. Taekwoon was right, because Hakyeon just realized that Taekwoon had been lost for all those years in which he wasn’t even sure the other was alive anymore. How could he just sit down with Taekwoon and talk like everything had been alright? He suddenly felt like nothing was alright anymore.
Somehow still, he managed to get back to normal when he reached his coworker by the counter. Despite his eyes being slightly glazed, he could smile and pretend he was fine. The apron was placed down carefully, straightened out even before he moved over to empty the dishwasher, quietly listening to his coworker complaining about her lazy boyfriend and just humming along. Cha Hakyeon wouldn’t allow himself to cry. Cha Hakyeon never cried.
Hakyeon kept watching Taekwoon with bright eyes, saw how his expression changed, how he stiffened, relaxed again, and eventually lowered his gaze, hiding anything else for the young man to read behind his hair; Hakyeon assumed the other’s eyes were not for him to see anymore. For some reason, that bothered him more than it should have considering how they weren’t how they used to be. But he didn’t let the softness in his expression falter, because at the same time, he understood. He could still sense the the nervousness the other was feeling, and how he seemed to be wary. And so, he just listened.
"Oh" Hakyeon let out a soft sound, surprised, "you will have to tell your boss a thank you, our baker would be really happy to hear the praise." Hakyeon was glad that Taekwoon lifted his gaze again; even though the man’s attention was soon drawn to the outside world, watching through the window, and Hakyeon’s eyes followed briefly. Nothing interesting to see there, he wondered, then looked back at his old friend, who surprisingly revealed more than Hakyeon had asked. About where Taekwoon was working, Hakyeon wasn’t that surprised. Libraries were quiet, it somehow fit.
But when their eyes eventually properly met, Hakyeon did get surprised. Because unlike earlier, Taekwoon didn’t avert his gaze again, and neither could Hakyeon. Only when the other spoke again, he found himself able to turn away, his excuse being that he had to check the counter again - he really hated that he had to pay attention. His coworker who would take over his shift had arrived by now, he noticed, and he waved at her briefly. The girl who had just been adjusting her apron waved back with a tired smile, and only then Hakyeon turned back to his old friend.
"My shifts…" Hakyeon was the one to lower his gaze now, taking his water bottle once more to unscrew it again. "This is just a part-time job, you know, I only come and work here occasionally. So if this is your first time visit, you were really unlucky to catch me behind the counter and not somebody else." Hakyeon huffed out in mild amusement at the coincidence. His words sounded harsh, yet he was convinced that Taekwoon would know that he didn’t mean them the way he said them - that in fact he was glad it had turned out this way -, and his eyes formed smiles before he took another small sip from the bottle, continued speaking after he swallowed. "Maybe it was fate, who knows?"
He looked back at the other, his eyes still forming crescent moons for just a few seconds longer, and then his expression relaxed again. The bottle was put back onto the table, but was left unscrewed this time, hands moving to finally get rid of the apron. He hated this thing more than the dress shirt which was actually not that ugly in comparison, really, and actually fit to his body. Mainly because the apron was unpractical and in the way (even though it really wasn’t, he just liked to complain about it that way). He wasn’t a baker who needed to shield his clothes from flour dust, he was preparing drinks and knew not to spray whipped cream all over himself.
"I’m a dancer, but the pay is just about good enough to afford life. I don’t want to save every cent I earn… That’s why I’m here, for a bit of luxury. I have my own place now, it’s just down the street. It’s… just me, so it’s a bit lonely sometimes, and pets aren’t allowed in my building, so…" He folded the apron while he was talking, putting it down on the table, right next to the bottle. Hakyeon was talking a lot more than Taekwoon had, but Hakyeon didn’t mind sharing. Maybe he had subconsciously waited to tell Taekwoon about all those things and that’s why he blurted out everything at once.
There was no response to his question, and there wasn’t going to be one, Hakyeon was sure the moment Taekwoon lowered his gaze again and the blonde male’s smile involuntarily fell from his lips again. He had to hold in a sigh, started to play with the hem of his apron in a moment of subconscious insecurity; but this definitely shouldn’t be so hard, right? Meeting someone from the past should be met with excitement, maybe even a hug, or just a smile would be enough. Hakyeon wasn’t asking for much, but at least that’s what he had always imagined it to be. Just a quiet wish.
For some reason, he ended up watching Taekwoon’s fork poking at the cake rather than his face. It felt less awkward than staring at the man’s face. He felt uncomfortable, not welcomed at all to be sitting here when suddenly, the fork was raised to his mouth and he couldn’t help but startle at the sudden and unexpected act. His fingers, which had still been playing with the hem of the apron, stilled, and his eyes wandered back up to the other’s face, meeting Taekwoon’s eyes just briefly and he felt heat rise to his ears. The surprise was visible in his face, even still when he leaned in to eat the cake from the other’s fork which was then dropped and Hakyeon chewed slowly, covered his mouth for good manners when his smile brightened again.
The cake was good, but this wasn’t why his smile had returned. It felt more okay to be sitting here now, no, it felt fine. He felt a little less awkward, the gesture enough to ease his body who had subconsciously tensed up the longer he had been sitting there in silence, he only now noticed. By the time he swallowed the bite, his smile had reached his eyes and only slowly did he lower his hand from covering his mouth, grabbing his water bottle to unscrew the cap while he spoke.
"It’s really good" he acknowledged before taking a small sip from the bottle, watching from the corner of his eyes how Taekwoon tried to sip from his own drink but put it back down, grimacing. Did he not like it? He was about to ask, but Taekwoon pushed back his chair making quite a painful noise which made Hakyeon flinch slightly. Wide, confused eyes followed the tall man who went back to the counter, merely to grab a straw; he huffed out a quiet laugh at that and turned away, waiting for Taekwoon to return.
Hakyeon’s smile had softened by the time Taekwoon sat back down. Taekwoon appeared almost cute and innocent as he was struggling to free the straw from the plastic, tongue poking out as he seemed to be concentrated on his task, and Hakyeon was tempted to reach out and help. His water bottle was put back onto the table the second he had thought just that, but Taekwoon had already managed, and so Hakyeon folded his hands in his lap instead, stayed quiet for just a little longer in which the other finally took a proper sip from his drink.
Hakyeon took that moment to think back, remembering that Taekwoon had always seemed to prefer a straw in his drink, and his nose crinkled in mild amusement at still being able to recall that fact even when it had taken him a while. He would have thought about it more, but the silence was slowly getting uncomfortable again, and so he decided he should probably break it again before it had a chance to become awkward.
"That face you made" Hakyeon started, expression soft and squeezing his hands together as he allowed himself a short pause, "for a second I was worried that you didn’t like the coffee." He glanced back at the counter then, just to check if somebody had come in. But it was still quiet and as empty as it was before he had come over to sit down, and so his attention went back to Taekwoon. "I’m so curious…"
Light conversation, he reminded himself despite all those questions burning on his tongue. "I’ve never seen you come in here before, did you get lost?" He hoped it was obvious he was trying to joke, hoped it was visible from the curious glint in his eyes that he was not trying to mock but seriously asking a question here. "I mean, my shifts are weird sometimes, so I’m not surprised, but…" He stopped speaking then, trying to find Taekwoon’s eyes - and he sincerely hoped he wouldn’t just respond with silence again.
Hakyeon startled when he got more than just a drink in response to his order, the question the bartender suddenly directed toward him taking him by surprise and he felt his heart skip a beat, unsure how to react now that they exchanged more than the usual words. He was more than thankful that the dim light covered enough of the heat that was coloring his face red almost immediately, kind of embarrassed by how he was so taken aback by a simple question like the one the other had asked him and he eventually gave a soft nod. Yes, the man was right, he had thanked him enough for every new drink he had poured him; he hadn’t even realized.
And that’s when the male leaned in toward him, Hakyeon taking in a deep breath through slightly parted lips when he announced that he had caught him staring and - why was he even surprised? Hakyeon had been so obvious, coming back all those nights just to watch. He inwardly cursed himself, knew he should have just said something earlier; it was certainly embarrassing to be pointed out like this. On top of that, he had no idea how to react now. Yes, I enjoy staring at you? That seemed wrong, and kind of creepy, even with his mind being fuzzy and all over the place, and definitely not the message he had been trying to deliver. But then the other continued, their eyes deep locked and Hakyeon could feel his heart sink.
"Well, that…" Now Hakyeon definitely was at a loss for words, just for a moment, because this was quite the unexpected turn of events. He would be lying if he said that he hadn’t been curious, especially gotten more curious when the nights dragged on forever, and his breath hitched slightly as his mind wandered off for just a split second. He blamed it on the alcohol that had corrupted his system by now and, despite the blush to his cheeks clearly indicating embarrassment to the situation in general, he ended up sliding just a tiny bit closer. More closer…
Then he suddenly stopped, unable to say whether he was too close now or just the right distance to show his interest; he was glad he had managed to rest his elbow on the bar counter to keep himself up properly. "I have been wondering." The offer was quite obvious, even though he wasn’t sure if he was being made fun of or actually had received a serious invitation. He was too dizzy to really think about it much longer, would just go with it even though he probably wouldn’t have had he not had the countless shot glasses earlier; a small, playful smile to his lips. "When and where?"
The silence between them was uncomfortable and long, or so Hakyeon felt at least, and he remembered that silence between them had never been so uncomfortable before - not ever had been uncomfortable at all. They often used to sit in silence when Hakyeon had run out of things to talk about, or when he had sensed that Taekwoon just wasn’t in a talking mood in general and neither of them had ever minded it being this way. It had never been uncomfortable back when they were friends, and if anything, it was comforting and nice.
But right now it was simply just torture. Hakyeon felt suffocated by how the silence stretched between them; except that the ballad song which he had previously heard was still faintly playing in the distance. However the sound seemed nearly muted now, then suddenly it was completely gone from his hearing, and he resisted the urge to swallow hard when his eyes caught Taekwoon’s. He would have loved for to at least see a small spark of happiness in the other’s eyes, but there was nothing. Had he said something wrong?
And of course that’s when he noticed the glare that was directed toward him, and it made him freeze, his eyes growing wide in surprise. Maybe Taekwoon didn’t want to catch up, it suddenly hit him, maybe he should have just shut up about it and pretend he didn’t know the tall male with the dark hair. He remembered that there must have been a reason why Taekwoon had left previously, and inwardly scolded himself that he should have just done his job and pretend. But as fast as the expression had come over the other, it was gone again, and when Taekwoon opened his mouth to speak, Hakyeon felt his heart jump with just the slightest bit of hope. But nothing, instead just a nod, but Hakyeon allowed himself to relax a little bit after all anyway.
Even though Taekwoon hadn’t said anything, it was enough agreement for Hakyeon to know it would be okay. Well, more or less. To sit together at least, that would be okay, even though he could only assume how awkward and uncomfortable silences would be the main part of their conversation. He’d just try to not let those happen, to keep talking even if he was talking to himself. And he sincerely hoped that Taekwoon wouldn’t just sit there in silence and stare at him. He needed to give it a shot at least… Because Hakyeon was almost sure that Taekwoon was secretly happy about seeing him too, or so he wanted to believe and tried to convince himself still, yet something seemed to be bothering Taekwoon.
And now it was bothering Hakyeon as well, the idea that he might have done or said something wrong not letting him go suddenly and he quietly went to cleaning up the utensils from when he had made Taekwoon’s drink as soon as the other had left the counter to find a seat. He caught himself glancing back to where Taekwoon was sitting down at, at the far corner, and he sighed, the smile eventually disappearing from his features completely ever since he had first noticed who had been standing there at the other side of the counter.
Another customer came in and ordered an iced drink. And once he had finished preparing that one, he grabbed his water bottle and decided that he should just walk over to Taekwoon - yes, he should do that before the man left again and he wouldn’t even get a chance to even ask a single question. His shift hadn’t ended yet, and he still needed to pay attention to the coffee shop that would be kind of in his back once he would be sitting at Taekwoon’s table, but it was alright as long as there wasn’t a higher influx of people.
"Hey" he spoke in a soft voice when he pulled out the chair for himself and took his seat, the water bottle placed on top of the table as quietly as he possibly could and then he just stared for a moment, noticing how Taekwoon’s face had matured and yet at the same time felt as if he was still looking at the same person from years ago. "Did you like the cake? I honestly have never tried it." And he smiled again, tried to start the conversation with something light, that would get Taekwoon to open up at least a little bit. Hakyeon didn’t need answers right now, he had decided earlier. Just a small conversation would be enough for now; just something to start.
Hakyeon didn’t really have a club he frequented more than two times in a row. Maybe because he didn’t always like seeing the same people every night in which he decided to go out (new places meant new faces), maybe because he feared he’d done something embarrassing after having one or two shot glasses too many (he really didn’t hold alcohol well). Maybe it also was because the DJs playlists started to bore him and he needed the diversity; even though he wasn’t really dancing on the dance floor ever, or rarely. He rather sat and watched, sometimes talked to a few people and made new friends, sometimes didn’t.
It seemed a bit idiotic to himself once he had realized what he was doing, even more idiotic now that he had noticed that this was the fifth time this month in which he ran back into the same club just because of one very shallow reason. The music bothered him, he assumed the people were always the same but he wasn’t watching the dance floor. Paying the price of an empty wallet and a killing headache in the morning really didn’t seem to be worth it for sitting on the bar stool all night just to exchange a few words with the busy bartender whenever he ordered a new drink - a smile on his lips every time, he knew was pretty when sober, but probably extremely awkward when drunk.
This was the fifth night in the same club and he still hadn’t figured out how to tell the bartender that he thought he was extremely attractive without sounding unoriginal or dumb like the hundreds or even thousands of other people who had told him the same thing before. Because it was unoriginal and dumb. The man mixing drinks with such skill that it was hypnotizing probably knew that fact already, he was obviously working out, and Hakyeon pulled a face. Hakyeon really wasn’t good at this, and Hakyeon didn’t think he was being cute with it either. So his chances of getting the man’s attention were slim, very slim, and he knew that he should just go home and let it be.
But still, he stayed, nipping on a long drink this time because it had given him more time to talk to the other while he was mixing the drink - and yet, he hadn’t said anything more but a quiet "thank you" when it was handed over to him. He bit down on the straw. "Idiot…" his words were a mutter only and not loud enough to be heard over the bass. He didn’t need to be original, he just desperately wanted to stand out. His drink wasn’t even empty yet when he lifted his hand slightly to get the bartender’s attention again. But instead of saying what he was going to say, he ordered another shot glass, and with that decided that he would probably just leave it there and go.
Taekwoon’s voice was quiet in response, but Hakyeon could hear him just fine announcing that he would stay and eat here. "Ah", he let out a quiet sound of approval, not turning back when he did so. He wasn’t sure if Taekwoon had heard him over the rather distant humming of the radio that, for a moment, was the only thing audible in the otherwise silent coffee shop and seemed a little out of place playing some old, sad ballad song from way back.
But the fact that Taekwoon actually considered staying made his heart jump in excitement, and his smile widened significantly at that - and he was glad that Taekwoon couldn’t see that at least, expression calming before he turned back around again after he had poured the drink into the cup. It was the moment he realized that he would be able to say more than just his usual welcomes, repeating orders and wishing him a nice day.
Hakyeon grabbed the caramel syrup from the counter to finish the drink by drawing thin lines over the milk froth on top of the coffee, making a simple pattern; his hands weren’t shaking anymore, the pattern was clean. He grabbed the lid and cup, placed both of it on the tray separately. He never put the lid on, in case customers still wanted to add sugar or some more syrup. Hakyeon himself always found it annoying when he had to peel it off again, and he assumed that much was often the case for others when he watched them after grabbing their drinks. And so he had just stopped putting it on, let them do it themselves.
Taking one of the plates from under the counter, Hakyeon proceeded to pick one of the pre-cut slices of blueberry buckle and put the plate onto the tray as well, next to it a fork and two simple white napkins before he finally pushed it forth on the counter, towards Taekwoon, the smile returning to his lips as he was done. "Straws, napkins and things to sweeten your drink you can grab from your left. Please enjoy." It was just his line, a line he was supposed to say, a line that everyone said and there wasn’t anything personal about it. Maybe that’s why his smile turned into a smaller, apologetic grin when he let go of the tray.
"My shift is almost over" he then added in a rather quiet tone of voice before Taekwoon could pick up the tray and go anywhere, and he cleared his throat before he continued, trying to sound more confident in speech again. "If you don’t mind, I’d like to sit with you for a while. Catch up?" He figured that he should ask rather than just sitting down with him like he used to; right now, were they even friends anymore? Or were they strangers again, back to square one?
He hadn’t thought about it until now, even when Taekwoon was absent, he had never had any doubt that they were still friends. Somehow, at least. But right now, having the other stand there right in front of him, it seemed surreal and weird to think it was still the same, because it really wasn’t. Maybe it had just been wishful thinking all those years in which Taekwoon had been out of sight; no, after all, it had definitely been wishful thinking.
Taekwoon. Hakyeon inwardly repeated the name, and he felt his heart drop the moment the name had been spoken. No way; Taekwoon had vanished years ago. The last time he had heard this name spoken out loud had been years ago. Taekwoon was somebody from the past, somebody he remembered all too clearly yet had never expected to see again. At least not here, so close to home, in this coffee shop, and ordering blueberry buckle and a caramel macchiato. Hot, no whipped cream.
But there was no doubt, because he recognized the voice, the way he spoke, his eyes, that stare that said nothing at all and yet too much at the same time - Hakyeon had learned to read him, often it had been easier, other times harder. They used to be able to communicate quietly. Back then at least; right now didn’t seem to be the case, even though he could swear he saw a glimmer of excitement in Taekwoon’s eyes that were half covered under black hair. Or was it something completely different?
For some weird reason, he expected Taekwoon to say something - but he didn’t. And even though, because of the other’s silence, a weird feeling of disappointment washed through Hakyeon’s body, that was okay. Taekwoon had always been this way, not showing too much, but just enough. Hakyeon wasn’t sure if this just enough was enough right now, but he didn’t know what to expect either.
He wasn’t entirely convinced how to feel, and even though he had a lot of questions, mostly he really wanted to know why Taekwoon had just disappeared without a word, he didn’t speak up about it as well because - right, he needed to do his job. He could ask questions later, maybe, if Taekwoon was willing to talk because after all, he had disappeared before; and somehow despite the saddening thought, Hakyeon managed to keep the smile on his lips. It was a soft yet honest smile, and even though it held a lot of happiness to see the other again, maybe deep down he suddenly felt a little sad.
When he wrote the name onto the paper cup (unnecessarily, still, because Taekwoon was still the only person queueing here, and Hakyeon was the one who was going to make the drink anyway), he noticed how his hand was shaking slightly; the letters turning out rather messy. He blinked his eyes back up at the other, his smile widening just the tiniest bit when the confirmation still stood there right in front of him and he knew it wasn’t just some sort of weird dream. "It’s a total of 8,900 Won" he spoke then, voice gentle as he turned around behind the counter so his back would be facing Taekwoon and went on with making the ordered drink. "Are you going to eat here or should I wrap it up to take out?"
Hakyeon hoped that Taekwoon would stay, silently, maybe he could sit down with him since at the hour the place was pretty empty and his shift was nearly over anyway. Even if he couldn’t get answers today - he didn’t want to be too intrusive, he didn’t have the right - maybe he could at least get his phone number to stay in touch now. To not lose him again now that he had finally found out that he was still around and hadn’t left the city, or even worse the country. For all he knew, maybe Taekwoon had left the country at some point in time; Hakyeon found himself suddenly desperately wanting to catch up, curious about what Taekwoon had been doing even if it wasn’t the reasons why he had suddenly become unknown to the tall man with the raven hair.
It was a nice day, a warm day, Hakyeon noticed when he went out the door to take out the trash that had piled up during the morning hours. Even though the morning had been rather chilly, or so he had felt it at least, and he had needed to wear a sweatshirt over his uniform’s T-shirt to not feel uncomfortable on his way to work, he had had no time to notice the temperature change before when he was inside the air-conditioned room. It had been a busy morning, as usual in the quite popular coffee shop that was located close to his apartment. He was glad he had gotten a part-time job this close; not only did it safe him time, but also transportation costs and possibly getting stuck in traffic.
Back inside he risked a look into the mirror in the staff room and fixed his apron a little; it was part of the uniform he had received when he had first started working here; a black short-sleeve dress shirt and a dark brown apron, the coffee shop’s name written in a dark red color on the right side whereas his name tag was pinned to the left side of the apron. They were allowed to wear whatever kind of pants and shoes they wanted to wear, and so Hakyeon was glad he could stick to jeans and sneakers at least (dress shirts really weren’t his thing at all).
He went back to the counter then, only moments later a new customer coming in. The first thing Hakyeon saw was black hair, a slender and tall body; but no eyes, the man’s gaze was lowered and he noticed how he seemed to be immediately focused on the desserts they had on display. For a while he watched in silence, wearing a small smile on his lips and propping his hands on the counter to tap his fingers against the dark wood. He wasn’t being impatient, just curious - he hadn’t even been greeted yet.
"What would you like to order?" he eventually asked after a considerable time of waiting, but the man’s eyes only wandered up to the menu above his head and Hakyeon’s eyes followed as well for a second. Only when he looked back, he noticed something about the man - his face seemed familiar, like someone he knew, yet he couldn’t put a name to it and he suddenly felt embarrassment. Even though he knew the other couldn’t hear his thoughts; he was sure he had seen him before, more than just once, and it was not in this coffee shop.
And then the other spoke and it hit him like a rock in the face. Could this possibly be..? He paused frozen, and could only stare for a while instead of actually reacting to the man’s order. This was something he couldn’t just ask; being wrong would end up with even more embarrassment. And then he remembered that he was standing behind a counter, and that he should probably do his job and type in the man’s order.
"Blueberry buckle and one medium-sized caramel macchiato" he repeated as he put the order into the cash register, pausing as he looked back up again and he froze once more; he wanted to slap himself for it. "Do you want your drink iced or hot? With whipped cream?" He paused again, just shortly; he didn’t have to embarrass himself to find out if he was just imagining things. "And may I ask your name please?"
Because there couldn’t be two Jung Taekwoons who looked exactly the same, at least not in this world. And demonstratively, he picked up the pen they usually only used to write on the cups if the coffee shop was bursting with customers.
CHA, HAKYEON is a TWENTY-THREE year old HUMAN whose soul resonates with the ethos of NEUTRALITY. The moon reveals them to have the face of a CIVILIAN, but by day they are merely PERFORMANCE DANCER AND PART-TIME BARISTA. May fate have mercy on their soul.
｢ I was painting a picture, the picture was a painting of you and for a moment I thought you were here;
but then again, it wasn’t true ｣
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